House!
by Solblight
Summary: A slice-of-life style story centering around our trio of mages, Alice, Marisa and Patchouli, with guest appearances from just a few other Gensokyo denizens. ... Absolutely nothing funny going on, I swear... *cough*
1. Ch 1: Mages Guild

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Mages Guild**

"…"

"…"

Creak~ Creak~

"…"

"…"

Creaak~ Creaaak~

"…"

"…"

Creak creaak~ Creak creaak~

"…!"

"… …"

"Sorry da ze… Just bored…"

"…"

"…"

"… Mmm-hmmm…. Hmm-hmmm…"

"…"

"…"

Tap tap tap tap~

"… …"

"… …"

Tap tap tap tap~

"… …"

"… …"

Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap-

"Marisa!" "Marisa…"

"Eheh… Sorry, sorry…" Marisa then sighed and allowed her head to drop onto her arms, resting for approximately half a second on the table before suddenly standing up and crying out to the heavens, "Argh! ! ! I'm bored ze-"

"_Then go home! !_" was Alice's immediate rebuke, the book she was reading now slammed between the table and her hand out of frustration. Patchouli, peering from behind her book disinterestedly, was content to leave the disciplining of Marisa to the Seven Coloured Puppeteer.

Kirisame Marisa pouted, but otherwise sat back down again. For about half a second.

"Wh-Where do you're going?" Alice's peridot eyes followed Marisa with an annoyed yet somewhat nervous glare as the troublesome girl got off her chair and started wandering out of the study room.

"Hmmm?" Marisa twirled her little hair braid in thought for a moment, "Oh don't mind me! I'm just going to take a look da ze!" was her carefree answer, and with a swish of long blonde hair, the girl was out the door and out of sight.

"G-Gah!" Alice Margatroid was already on her feet, her eyes now filled more with nervousness than anything else. "M-Marisa! Marisa!" she desperately called out after the girl.

"You might want to follow her, just in case-"

Alice too, was already out of the study room, her similarly blonde but much shorter hair disappearing beyond the doorframe.

"-that kleptomaniac takes any of your possessions again," Patchouli Knowledge finished advising an empty study room. Closing her book for the first time in a long while, the third magician of the three combed a long, errant strand of purple hair back behind her ear before leaning back in her chair and smiling to herself.

Maybe she should invite Alice and Marisa over to her place next.

After all necessary anti-theft measures have been put in place, of course.

* * *

"So what are you two reading up on ze?" Marisa asked

The three magicians, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli were once again together at the study table in Alice's study and reading room. It was rather large space that took up a good two thirds of the second floor of Alice's house. Sturdy oak shelves neatly crammed with books completely took up the space of three walls, save for the door, while sunlight streaked in from the three four-panel windows of the last wall. Between them were humbly rich armchairs and potted plants, and in the centre of the whole room the large, study table surrounded by cushioned chairs.

Marisa was dressed in her trademark black dress and pinafore with white apron and turtleneck blouse. Alice had opted for a more casual blue strap dress in her home, with a shawl instead of her usual capelet to keep her shoulders warm. Patchouli was hidden within the elegantly billowing folds of her purple gown, her large black velvet travelling cloak hanging on the coat rack by the door, her knee-length buckle boots standing next to it.

Accompanying (read: guarding) Marisa were two little dolls, dressed in little black dresses and shoes, with little white aprons and capelets. Shanghai and Hourai, Alice's most trusted doll servants. Who were armed. With lances.

"Magic theory," answered Alice and Patchouli simply to Marisa's earlier question.

"Can someone get these dolls off my back, by the way?" Marisa eyed Shanghai and Hourai nervously.

"You said you were bored, so they're here to keep you company," Alice answered coolly. To be fair, Marisa had not tried to steal anything yet, although she did seem to eye some of Alice's stuff a little too closely.

"Haah… I came here because I wanted _your _company ze… Not some doll's…" grumbled Marisa. Alice, caught off guard, just barely managed to hide her blush behind her book.

"I-Idiot Marisa! If you really wanted my company, you'd stop making things difficult for me!" Alice lashed out.

Patchouli was eyeing Alice with great interest.

"A-And what are you looking at!" Alice rounded on Patchouli.

Patchouli's purple eyes slowly lagged back to her book, whereafter she quietly complimented Marisa with the smallest hint of a smirk, "Well played."

Alice's face was stunned a brighter red.

"I know right!" Marisa blatantly boasted, "Alice is so easy to tease da ze!"

Alice snapped back to Marisa and cried out, "Y-You did it on purpose!"

* * *

"And just _what are _you two reading ze?" Marisa asked for a second time.

"Sigh… Marisa," Alice impatiently put down her book for the third time, "If you'll just spend some time reading quietly with us, you'll know."

"Hmph… Is this really your idea of magic research?" Marisa suddenly asked Alice passionately.

"E-Eh?"

"Is that how you intend to find out the truths of this world? !" Marisa was now up on her feet, her finger pointed accusatorily at a startled Alice's nose, "To merely contend with reading about 'theory', and not actually going out there to see things for yourself? !"

Alice was speechless, "U-Um…"

"There are so many exciting things out there da ze! Life is full of mysteries, and every single one of those mysteries has the potential for magic!" Marisa continued on grandly, "And yet here you are, insisting on doing nothing but silent reading, and _not _out there experiencing all there is to see and do!" she finished indignantly.

"Ah… Marisa… I-I…"

"That being said, isn't the only kind of magic you're good at the ones that involve explosions?" Patchouli quietly interjected without glancing away from her book.

Marisa cringed sheepishly while Alice stifled a chuckle.

"W-Well, it ain't magic if it isn't flashy ze…" Marisa mumbled as she sat back down and rested her head against the table. Sighing and glancing up, she peered at the covers of the books Alice and Patchouli were reading.

"Her… bology…?"

"Mmm hmmm…" replied Alice and Patchouli.

"Eh? Since when were you two interested in such things?" Marisa pulled herself up and asked curiously.

"Well, we thought we'd try a little something different from our usual magics," Alice explained, "And when the two of us discussed it, we'd realised healing magic was something we weren't particularly well versed in."

"Haah…? Healing? That's really, _really _boring ze…" Marisa slumped back down on the table again.

"Well, I don't suppose you'd really know anything about it either, huh?" Alice sweat-dropped at the expected reaction.

"Not much. I only know a dozen recipes or so," Marisa muttered uninterestedly.

"E-Eh? ! _You _know healing potions? !" Alice asked, genuinely surprised. Patchouli was peering over the top of her book again.

"Well, yeah, sure," Marisa sat up and started counting off her fingers, "Like which fungus can cure colds, or how certain weeds work really well as anti-septics, or how if you combine two of three different poisons together you can actually get miracle cures. Stuff like that," she explained.

"H-How do you know them?" Alice asked.

"Well, I'm always looking for magic mushrooms for my magic (read: explosions) you see," Marisa explained, "And occasionally when I randomly mix stuff I find together-"

"You _randomly _mix stuff…?" Patchouli asked a little concernedly.

"- I get unexpected results," Marisa continued. "I'm always disappointed if they don't turn up brilliant (read: explosive), but I document them anyways because, you know, just in case," the kleptomaniac finished.

"… That's great and all, but do you actually understand how it works?" Alice asked, still a little skeptical.

"Of course I do! I test them ze!" Marisa declared.

An awkward moment of silence.

"On… what?" was Alice and Patchouli's next question.

"Um… I uh… Ah well, it's not like the fairies really know what's being done to them anyways, da ze…" Marisa twiddled her fingers and averted eyes.

"… That's youkai abuse!" Alice cried out.

"You should use mice instead," Patchouli sagely advised

Another awkward moment of silence.

"They _are_ anatomically more similar to humans," Patchouli explained, "You will get better results that way."

"Oh! I see!" Marisa thumped a fist on her hand.

"W-Wait! That's no good too!" Alice objected.

"And if you get the chance, use a pig," Patchouli continued, "They're even better."

"Patchouli, will you please stop!" pleaded Alice.

"Oh? And just what are we supposed to test these things on then, Alice-san?" Patchouli and Marisa rounded on Alice.

"… U-Um… What about rabbits…?" Alice suggested hesitantly.

* * *

"Speaking of Eintei-"

"Were we speaking of Eintei?" Alice asked Marisa.

"You're the one that brought up rabbits for testing ze," Marisa shrugged.

"Oh, I didn't specifically mean Eintei's rabbits, but yeah, it's not like that place will miss one or two, they have so many…" Alice mused.

"Anyways, immortals have bodies that will automatically repair any damage and revert to their original state, right?" Marisa wondered, "I mean, not even age affects them ze."

"So?"

"So… I'll bet people like Kaguya or Mokou would be the perfect test subjects! I mean, nothing bad will happen to them, right?" Marisa beamed at her own genius and stood up excitedly for the umpteenth time.

"W-We're _still _on this subject?" Alice sweat-dropped.

"Then go ask Mokou to be your test subject then, and let's see if she fries you," Patchouli said, eyes still studiously fixed on yet another tome.

The subject was truncated as Marisa sat back down for the umpteenth time.

"Hey, Marisa, you said you know how cures from poisons work, right?" Alice asked as she sided over to Marisa and shifted the book she was reading so that Marisa could take a look too.

"Hmmm… That sounds about right…" Marisa commented as she pulled the book closer and examined its contents, "Well, it's basically as it says ze. You know how poisons are actually comprised of a variety of chemicals, right?" she asked Alice.

"Well, I'm not really too familiar with poisons myself, but yes?"

"You see, the thing is that what actually makes the poisons deadly are sometimes just a few of the chemicals in that concoction," Marisa explained, "And that if removed, the rest of the poison may actually isolated effects that may be desirable for certain ailments. Take for instance anticoagulants…"

Patchouli listened keenly. The truth of the matter is, despite all her mischievousness, Marisa is a hard worker, she thought with admiration. It's a pity she chooses not to show it, since she considers that side of her boring…

"I see…! Certain poisons may have the needed factors to cancel out the harmful components of other poisons, and it just so happens that when you mix them in certain combinations and orders, you'll be left with only the good parts," Alice summarised.

"Yup. I heard from Yukari that the outside world has similar but less effective methods. Of course, they can't use magic like I can ze!" Marisa thumped her chest proudly. "You'll have to be careful though," she cautioned, "Theory is one thing, but often at times, completely removing all the harmful stuff is not possible… But why the sudden interest in healing?" Marisa suddenly asked again.

Alice and Patchouli gave a cough.

"Oh… Right, I forget practising magic alone is toxic to one's constitution …" Marisa laughed awkwardly, "Ahah… Man, I wonder if I'll ever become as frail as these two ze…" she worriedly wondered under her breath.

Alice and Patchouli gave a more annoyed cough.

The clock struck six in the evening.

"Oh? It's already this late? Marisa," Alice turned to Marisa, "Would you like to-"

"I want to have hotpot!" demanded Marisa.

"Hang on Marisa… Could you at least have the decency to disguise your intent to freeload dinner here?" Alice's temple twitched.

"Why? You were going to ask me ze," Marisa blinked.

"… _I was doing so out of courtesy…"_ Alice gritted her teeth together, "You know, sometimes I- OI!" her temple twitched some more as Marisa was already out of her chair and making a beeline for the kitchen, "Hey hey HEY! Where do you think you're-"

"I brought mushrooms," Marisa produced a small basket of delicately scented forest mushrooms with a sleight of hand, "Can I help?" she asked spritely.

"… S-Sure…" Alice looked away and sheepishly blushed.

"Heheh! Look forward to it da ze!" Marisa grinned at Patchouli and vanished towards the kitchen.

Alice sighed, turned to Patchouli, who was still reading, and said apologetically, "It looks like we're going to have mushroom hotpot tonight, are you okay with that?"

Patchouli looked up blankly before smiling a small smile, "Let's just hope that Marisa is just as surprisingly good at cooking as she is at healing potions."

Alice smiled back, "Then I had better go supervise her to make sure it doesn't turn into a complete catastrophe."

"Don't worry, I'll go too," Patchouli finally got out of her seat in six hours, and the two magicians followed after Marisa.

"Hey Marisa, don't just go running off like you own the place, this is my house!"

"Ehhh…? But Alice, the two of you are so slow and I'm hungry ze!"

"Maybe we should go on a field trip tomorrow…"

"…?" "Patchouli…?"

"It's autumn. The season's just right to find the ingredients to try out the concoctions we researched this afternoon."

"Ooh… That's a great idea! You see Alice? Even Patchouli goes out occasionally to experience the world!"

"…? ! H-Hey! I go out frequently too! It's just that I don't go out when you happen to be here, Marisa!"

"Why? Can't bear to leave me alone?"

"_It's because I wouldn't dare trust you with my house! !"_

"Hahahaha…" "Heh…"

* * *

"Ahh… That was a tiring day," Alice Margatroid stifled a yawn as she prepared to go to bed, "Having guests around really isn't an easy thing…" she wiped a tear from her sleepy eyes as she undressed and simply let her clothes fall about her ankles, her dolls swooping in and picking them up before they hit the floor.

"Shanghai," she turned to one of her dolls as her other, Hourai, draped a nightgown about her shoulders, "Do wake me up earlier tomorrow, I'm going out with Patchouli and Marisa," she requested, lifting up her arms to allow the dolls to pull on her sleeves for her. Little Shanghai nodded in acknowledgment of her master's orders.

"Ah…! Thank you Hourai," Alice smiled as Hourai finished tying up the front of her nightgown for her, her little fingers apparently just as dexterous as her maker's. "Well, then, it's time to turn in for the night," she said. And with that, all the dolls flew to their places on the shelves about her room, Shanghai and Hourai, her two closest dolls, taking a special shelf closest to her bed.

"Good night," Alice blew out the candle lights and threw herself into the waiting, snug blankets, her eyes shut with anticipation. An outing with Marisa and Patchouli- …! Not that she'll ever let those two see this side of her, she'll never hear the end of it…

"I-It's not like I want to go out with you two…! Or… at least that's what such a character in a story would say," she giggled to herself, before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

And all was tranquil in the Margatroid Household-

"Psst."

"… What?"

"So… What do you think?" Shanghai asked Hourai, "Weren't the two of them together so cute this afternoon? !" she squealed.

"… If you're talking about Alice-sama and Marisa-san, then I don't support that pairing," Hourai replied obstinately.

**Chapter End**

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**Alright! Chapter 1 of my first story in the longest time finally up! If anyone's missed me, sorry about that…**

**Oookay… At the time of uploading this chapter, I actually have ten more (for a total of eleven) in the folder waiting to be uploaded. I have to apologise first though. I wasn't gone for so long because it took long to write them. In fact, the bulk of the writing was done over the Christmas month. The fact was… I simply got lazy. I've been pursuing other vices (:|) and neglected to indulge myself in Touhou fanfic. And for that, I apologise.**

**That being out of the way now, it's time to get these arthritic (read: unused) knuckles cracking!**

**Stay tuned! (Yes, I'm leaving you with a cliff hanger. I'm not being very nice on my first day back, am I…? Hehe…)**


	2. Ch 2: Peanut Gallery

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Peanut Gallery**

Introducing: Shanghai. A pretty little doll with glassy blue eyes, silky blonde hair and a serene disposition, dressed in a pretty little black dress with apron, frills and a white capelet. The 'younger' sister of Alice's two most favourite dolls, she can be identified by her azure ribbons on her head and around her neck. Shanghai has a very caring personality, and in between sweetly serving her master and sweetly serving her master's guests (read: Marisa-sama), she enjoys watching her master from afar and takes delight in observing her movements and her relationships with her beloved Marisa-sama.

A voyeur. Also, fiercely ships Alice x Marisa.

Introducing: Hourai. A pretty little doll with piercing blue eyes, silky blonde hair and a serious disposition, dressed in a pretty little navy dress with apron, frills and a white capelet. The 'older' sister of Alice's two most favourite dolls, she can be identified by her scarlet ribbons on her head and around her neck. Hourai has a very protective personality, and in between silently guarding her master and silently guarding her master, she enjoys silently guarding her master and likes to think that she is the one lance that serves the light while staying hidden in the darkness of being a backdrop character.

Delusional. Also, fiercely hates Alice x Marisa.

Now, as it has been established, these two long standing doll-servants of Alice are not quite mere dolls. They have become fully sentient, although when and where and under what circumstances are not known even to themselves (a/n: No, it's not that I'm lazy to come up with a back story, this is just to add a layer of mystery to it… yup…). But what they do know is that they have been sentient for as long as they remember… because they could only start remembering stuff once they became sentient.

The two also knew they fiercely loved their Alice-sama, and were utterly devoted to her health, her wellbeing, her happiness, her life. As all dolls of Alice are.

And… That's where the problem comes in.

"I'm telling you, that _'Marisa-sama'_ you're so fond of is no good!"

You see, Shanghai and Hourai's views differ on what exactly is best for their dear Alice-sama's happiness.

"I know right! She's such a _bad girl~_!"

Specifically with regards to who she should get together with, who she should marry, who she should get knocked up by etc etc.

"I didn't intend that as praise, Shanghai!"

And as you have heard so far, little Shanghai is all for Marisa to be the one to impregnate her.

"_A-And since when was that a goal of ours? !_" Hourai turned to the screen and nearly screamed her head off in vexation.

"Ahah…~ A child of Alice-sama and Marisa-sama will be sooo pretty!" Shanghai uttered dreamily.

"And don't you go having such indecent fantasies like that! !" Hourai shrieked at Shanghai, who giggled sheepishly, "B-Besides… They're both girls right? That sort of thing between them is impossible…" Hourai blushed at the thought of herself actually giving the subject some consideration.

"We'll figure something out," Shanghai said bracingly.

"NO WE WON'T!"

"Fine… Then I will!" Shanghai said brightly.

"_NO YOU WON'T! !_" Hourai was shouting herself to exhaustion. "Hah… Hah… Shanghai… I never knew your thoughts had gotten to such a dangerous level…" she mumbled.

"I wonder if Alice-sama is going to meet Marisa-sama today…" Shanghai gazed out of the window from the shelf they were sitting on, "She was sooo cheerful during yesterday's field trip, and Marisa-sama was her usual charming self too," she smiled.

Alice, as it happened, was out in town doing a little grocery shopping, having left Shanghai and Hourai to rest at home for the work they did yesterday: helping Marisa and Patchouli harvest magical ingredients for their experiments.

"Sigh… I've known you to be fanatic about… this particular pairing for a long time, Shanghai," Hourai began tiredly, "But still... Why?" she asked out of curiosity.

Shanghai turned to Hourai with a most earnest look on her face, "Because aren't they just the cutest couple ever?" she spoke the words with wonder.

"Are they?" Hourai asked sceptically.

"They're both blonde!" Shanghai squealed.

"I-Is that it…?" Hourai sweat-dropped.

"They have such matching eyes!" Hourai squealed, "Alice's innocently loving green and Marisa's mischievously bright gold."

"So far it's only been physical characteristics…" Hourai deadpanned.

"And then there's that magical moment of a person as doll-like and pretty as Alice-sama being embraced by a young, slightly shorter girl like Marisa-sama; It's like Alice-sama is Marisa-sama's one and only doll!" Shanghai squealed, "Can you imagine a kissing scene between them? ! Marisa-sama, looking upwards longingly into Alice-sama's eyes as Alice-sama looks down endearingly. A-And then…? And then Marisa-sama will have to _tiptoe _to reach Alice-sama- KYAAAH! ! !" Shanghai nearly self-combusted.

Hourai found herself backing towards the edge of the shelf out of fear of this monstrous entity before her.

"Ne? Ne, Hourai-nee-chan?" the monstrous entity turned towards her sister, inducing chills down the latter's wooden spine, "Don't you think it's _wonderful_?"

"… B-But they haven't even embraced before, let alone kissed," Hourai awkwardly pointed out.

"…!" Something awful shattered in that wonderful daydream of Shanghai's.

"In fact, I've been observing their interactions too, and it seems like they're nothing more than just really good friends," Hourai mercilessly continued.

"… Ah…! N-No way…" Shanghai dropped to her knees, shocked at this simple oversight of hers. M-Marisa-sama… and Alice-sama…

"You know, Shanghai, they don't even look like lover-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Shanghai shrieked, "Please… Don't say it…" she wept.

"… H-Hey… There's no need to get traumatised like that…" Hourai approached Shanghai a little guiltily.

"I… I already know it… I know they're nothing but friends, impossible as it is," Shanghai said to herself in frustration, her little fists curling up against the surface of the shelf.

"Shanghai… th-there's nothing wrong with them being friends-"

"WHICH IS WHY IT IS UP TO ME TO GUIDE THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER IN BED! !" Shanghai looked up and declared passionately.

"YOU'RE BEYOND SAVING! ! !" Hourai smacked the back of Shanghai's head hard.

* * *

"F-Forgive me, Hourai-nee-chan… I sort of lost myself there," Shanghai rubbed the back of her head.

"I'd say you were lost long ago…" Hourai huffed, "But honestly, just what is it about Marisa-san that you like?"

"Mmm…" Shanghai gave the matter some thought, "Isn't it because Alice-sama can truly laugh when Marisa-sama is around?" she said.

The innocent wonder of this point struck Hourai.

"… Fine, so that _is one _redeeming quality Marisa-san has…" Hourai stubbornly admitted.

"Haha… Even you can't deny this, can you?" Shanghai chuckled, "But why is it that _you _don't like the idea of Marisa and Alice being together?"

"It's because she's annoying," Hourai said without hesitation.

"A-Ah… You're so harsh, Houra-nee-chan," Shanghai cringed.

"Sure she can make people laugh here and there, but she's not fit to be a lifelong partner for Alice-sama," Hourai critiqued, "Most of the time, it's Alice-sama that's having to clean up after Marisa-san's messes. It's Alice-sama that has to keep an eye on her, that has to give in to her selfish demands. Marisa-san drags people along into mischief however she feels like, with no consideration for others. Oh, and she's a thief," Hourai added rather angrily, "I mean, look at how many books have gone missing in this place!"

"… W-Well, she _does _have rather sticky fingers…" Shanghai admitted awkwardly, "But that's a charm point of hers!"

"… It's a charm point Alice-sama doesn't need in her life…" Hourai narrowed her eyes.

"… Haha… I suppose you're right, Hourai-nee-chan," Shanghai scratched her cheek sheepishly and sighed.

"You see! I know what's best for Alice-sama after all," Hourai clenched her fist with conviction and said more to herself than to Shanghai, "What are the best foods for Alice-sama, what are the clothes that most complement her stylish body," she continued on, as if in a trance, "This world is a complex and dangerous place, and our Alice-sama a most delicate and vulnerable princess… Shanghai!" she suddenly turned to her sister and declared, "We, as the beloved creations of Alice-sama, are blessed to serve her. As such, I have pledged myself to strive to bring the very best life to Alice-sama that I can, never mind if she'll never know of the deeds I do for her in the dark!"

"E-Er… Th-That's very devoted of you, Hourai-nee-chan…" Shanghai smiled nervously.

"Naturally, that means that should anyone ever threaten Alice-sama's peaceful way of life, I will cut them down without hesitation," Hourai nodded in approval of herself, "Of course, I'll have to do so secretly from the shadows, so as to not alarm Alice-sama and disturb her peace-"

"Hang on, hang on, hang on...! If that's going to be the case, then won't Alice-sama stay lonely forever?" Shanghai pointed out.

"…!" Something awful shattered in that wonderful delusion of Hourai's.

"You know, maybe the one thing that is missing from Alice-sama's happiness is companionship," Shanghai continued on mercilessly, "And perhaps your… um… over protectiveness may be the cause-"

"… Ah…! N-No way…" Hourai dropped to her knees, shocked at this perspective she had never considered. "Alice-sama… A-Am I actually the true obstacle in your glorious pursuit of happiness…? !"

"Horai-nee-chan… Y-You don't have to phrase it that darkly, you know?"

"Eh?" Hourai looked up mid-weep, confused.

"Yeah… you actually said that last line out loud," Shanghai sweat-dropped.

"A-Ah…" Hourai hid her face in her hands to hide the furious flushing of her cheeks while Shanghai laughed awkwardly and patted her back.

* * *

"Sigh… Then what _should _we do?" Hourai asked. The two sister dolls had been sitting quietly shoulder to shoulder deep in thought for the past few minutes, Alice's bedroom being quiet save for the ticking of the clock mounted on the opposite wall. Four in the afternoon – Alice-sama will return any minute now…

"Well, I know I still support Alice-sama and Marisa-sama being together," Shanghai said.

"And I'm still uncomfortable with Marisa-san being a part of that relationship," Hourai said.

"Whatever we think though, I feel that it should be Alice-sama that should make the choice in the end," Shanghai said.

"Of course," Hourai agreed at once.

"Which is why I need a plan to subtly influence Alice-sama's thinking," Shanghai said.

Hourai opened her mouth to keep the conversation going, comprehended what Shanghai just said, and turned to look at her with a stunned expression.

"… You're a very bad doll, Shanghai," Hourai could only say.

"Hehe… It's fair if Alice-sama truly falls for Marisa-sama, right?" Shanghai grinned.

"… T'ch…"

"Well, who would be _your _ideal partner for Alice-sama then?" Shanghai asked Hourai curiously.

"Hmmm… Someone mature would be nice," Hourai thought out loud, "Someone that shares the same interests as her, that has a personality that matches hers, with a quiet and gentle demeanour… Someone that can help look after Alice-sama's household would be a nice bonus, as compared to Alice-sama having to always worry after _a certain 'Marisa-sama'_," she ended with a jab.

"That sounds like Marisa-sama," Shanghai said blankly.

"… You didn't listen to my criteria at all, did you?" Hourai grumbled, "And no, it's not 'Marisa-sama' at all! It sounds more like Alice-sama's other friend, Patch-"

Light bulb.

"Hourai-nee-chan… W-Why are you smirking like that?" Shanghai asked with suspicion.

"Hehehe… Say, Shanghai, you said that you'd leave the choice to Alice-sama, right?" Hourai said darkly.

"Y-Yes…"

"And that it's all fair if Alice-sama falls for the girl of her choice, right?" she pressed her attack.

Shanghai's eyebrows furrowed as she dimly saw where Hourai was heading, "Yes… I did say that but-"

"Haha! Then from now on, I'm going to ship Alice x Patchouli!" Hourai stood up and pointed at Shanghai triumphantly, the latter letting out a small gasp of shock.

"Argh…! Why didn't I think of such a brilliant idea before? !" Hourai meanwhile was berating herself, "It's so simple and perfect! I don't want Alice-sama to be with Marisa-san, and Patchouli-sama's the perfect partner! If I make Alice x Patchouli a reality, then Alice x Marisa will be no more!" she clenched her fists and gazed up into the air determinedly.

Shanghai's shocked expression slowly turned into a small smile of admiration, "Hourai-nee-chan," she called out to her sister.

"What- What is this?" Shanghai was standing before her with an outstretched hand.

"I don't fully understand, but it looks like we're going to have a little friendly rivalry, so… here's good luck," Shanghai wished her.

"O-Oh… Th-thanks," Hourai shook Shanghai's hand, mildly surprised, "May the best shipper win then-"

"Alice x Patchouli will never be a success, everyone knows that…" Shanghai sneered, before floating out of the empty room.

"… I'LL HAVE ALICE-SAMA HAVE PATCHOULI-SAMA'S BABY BEFORE YOU KNOW IT! ! !" Hourai roused herself from her stunned state and roared after her sister.

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Omake 1**

"Mmm… I'll take three of these then," Alice pointed to some large, fat radishes on display, "No, wait, make it five," she changed her order, the image of an annoying blonde girl decked in black-white apparel flashing momentarily in her mind.

She may be raiding her house again for a meal… Might as well be prepared.

"Here you go," the vegetable seller handed over the vegetables.

"Thank you," Alice smiled and paid the required amount, then started walking off with the groceries she had bought before her feet came to a stop. Th-this was heavy- Oh!

Alice gazed in wonder at the bags upon bags of groceries she was holding in her hands. "S-Since when did I buy this much…?" she pondered. It was more than enough for one person – It was more than enough for three!

… More than enough for- "Haha… What was I thinking…?" Alice sighed. Had she really been consciously buying for…?

"Well… Maybe I should invite over Patchouli again," Alice thought, "Oh… and _her _of course," she added with a dry smile to herself. Marisa that is, not that she'll need inviting…

And with that somewhat cheerful thought, Alice continued on her way home- O-Ow…! A sudden tummy ache…?

"Wh-Why do I get this strange feeling that some horrible things are being said about me…?"

* * *

**Omake 2**

**Ding-Ding! Quick-question-quiz time:**

Interviewer: Isn't one of Alice's greatest desires to create an entirely autonomous doll?

Shanghai: Mmm… I guess so.

Hourai: Yes, that's true.

Interviewer: Then… Why is it that you two have kept her in the dark about your own sentience?

Shanghai: Heehee… Because it's more convenient for me to spy on her, of course!

Hourai: My place is that of a doll, to silently accompany her by her side and meet her every request at each tug of my strings. And though it may hurt her heart, I intend to properly fulfil that role.

Interviewer: … Okay, we'll just um… end here then. Thank you for your-

Shanghai: Oh no… You think we can just let you get away after telling you all this?

Hourai: You know too much.

Interviewer: W-Wait! WAAIIT-

**End of Record**


	3. Ch 3: Hijnks in the Library

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Are you okay Alice?" Marisa asked concernedly as Alice sat in her chair doubled over, her face wincing a little.

"Nnn-nnn… It's nothing serious," Alice sat up and grimaced a smile.

"… Your face is all pale," Patchouli remarked.

"Ah… I've been having upset tummies recently these few days and I don't why," Alice shrugged.

"Haha… This is the perfect chance to test our self-brewed stomach medicines on you, see if it works ze~" Marisa grinned.

"It's not funny, Marisa," Alice grumbled.

"Is it the tea?" Patchouli picked up the teapot and scrutinized it intently, "I'll hate it if it were my servant's fault," she referred to her devil familiar, Koakuma, who had brewed the afternoon's tea.

"No, I don't think so," Alice shook her head.

"Over the past few days huh…" Marisa repeated Alice's words.

"Yeah, why?"

"Hmmm…" Marisa rubbed her chin, "Well… You may be pregnant ze…" she diagnosed casually.

Patchouli nearly smashed the teapot on the floor and Alice spat air.

"W-WHAT? !" they both exclaimed.

"It's the only logical explanation ze…" Marisa shrugged her shoulders while secretly savouring the effect she was inducing on the other two.

"LIKE HELL IT IS!" the two shouted in unison, while Marisa bent over and roared in laughter.

Floating behind Alice, her usual doll companions Shanghai and Hourai gave each other furtive looks.

**Chapter 3: Hijnks in the Library**

* * *

"Say… H-How do you think babies are formed anyway?" Marisa asked blushingly.

"G-Gah! Wh-Why are you talking about such things? !" Alice fell out of her chair, the sound of her falling echoing about the great halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion's library.

And by great, we mean _grand. _The library was so vast that it seemed to be an entire underground world of its own. Rows upon rows, mountains upon mountains of bookshelves stretched into the horizon, and with little candle lights mounted upon them periodically, the distant bookshelves looked like the hazy silhouettes of cities. Under the dim candle light, the ceiling's incredible height could not be seen, and it seemed as if the walls stretched up into a murky night sky. The only hint of a ceiling were tall stained glass windows at the top of the walls where faint line streamed in from the grounds of the mansion.

But the most amazing thing was that every single shelf was completely filled with what was possibly the most immense collection of books ever gathered together. An endless collection conquered only by the century-old resident magician, Patchouli Knowledge. And this afternoon, far beneath the Autumn chill, Alice Margatroid and Kirisame Marisa were invited to indulge in this vast treasure of knowledge with her over a cup of tea.

"Marisa, when are you going to return me my seventy-two books you have on perpetual loan?" Patchouli asked. as she flipped the page of a book she was reading. Well… only Alice was actually invited for the above stated reason. Marisa was wanted for some long displaced property.

"Hang on, I'm pursuing an important line of inquiry z-ze…" Marisa, with a serious but embarrassed expression, was on all fours perched over a flustered Alice, her long blonde hair hanging dishevelled over her face.

"Wh-Wh-What makes you think I have that sort of experience? !" Alice stuttered, still in her chair which was on its back, her blue frilled dress sprawled out in-between and exposing her black stockings.

"... Do you really have to be in such a compromising position to ask such an embarrassing question…?" Patchouli flipped another page of her book.

"I-I-It's not embarrassing da ze!" Marisa insisted red-facedly, "I-I just want to know ze," she leaned in closer to Alice in a low voice. Alice's face was evaporating copious amounts of steam.

"_G-G-Go ask a guy then! !_" Alice hoarsely whispered.

Marisa sat up, confused, "A-Ask a guy…? Ah… Ahahahaha...! Silly Alice!" she laughed.

"E-Eh…?"

"I already know about _that part_ ze! I just wanted to know how they form after the um… initial *giggle* s-seeding…" Marisa rubbed the back of her neck, blushing, "Man, that was really weird phrasing I used, huh? How should I call it?" she turned sheepishly to Patchouli for wisdom.

"… Docking?" Patchouli flipped another page.

"…"

"…"

"… Pfft… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ! !" Alice was sitting up on the floored back of her chair, her jaw hanging open in disbelief while Marisa had fallen back on her bottom, clutching her midsection and laughing as hard as her lungs would allow.

"P-Patchouli…" Alice opened her mouth wordlessly before resigning herself to an awkward smile.

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Marisa persistently persisted with her line of inquiry, "How a baby forms that is."

"... Marisa… Sigh…" Alice put her book down, "I honestly don't know," she truthfully answered.

"It seems so weird… almost magical," Marisa propped her chin on her hand and mused, "At one end you put in an egg, and the other you get a baby… How does such a transformation even happen anyway? Hmmm… It'll be much easier to study if we had one as an example…" Marisa rubbed her cheek, "Don't you think so, Alice?"

"… W-Well… It _would be _easier… if your interests lie there…" Alice reluctantly concurred.

Patchouli gave the two a quick glance. "… Koakuma," she too put down her book and called for her servant.

"Yes, Patchouli-sama?" Koakuma, the little devil familiar, appeared at her side. She possessed fiery red waist length hair, ruby eyes and a pair of bat wings sprouting from her hair, and was dressed neatly in a valet's suit and skirt.

"Bring me my baby," Patchouli instruct-

"WHAAAT? !"

"… How rude…"Patchouli told of the two witches dumbstruck into a standing position before her.

"Oh! So sorry, Patchy- No, that's not it! _Wh-When did you have a baby_? !" Marisa gagged.

"E-Erm… Ahem! Wh-Who's the father?" Alice tried to ask as politely as she could with an immobilised tongue.

"Mmm… If you want to put things this way, I suppose _I am_," Patchouli replied casually.

"_WHAAAAAAT? !_" Alice and Marisa nearly suffered a heart attack, "Wh-What the- _Th-Th-Then who's the mother_? !"

Patchouli frowned, perplexed. "Hmmm… Maybe that was wrong of me to say that… I guess I would really be its mother rather than its father…"

"WHAAA- Hang on…" Alice and Marisa exchanged bemused glances. Something's not right…

"Here it is!" Koakuma totted back cheerily, a large glass jar filled with a clear, warmly glowing fluid in cradled carefully in her arms, "As you requested, Patchouli-sama," she set the jar on the table before Patchouli, her gaze on it like that of a proud mother's. "Just so you know, I helped in its creation!" she chirped with glee while clapping her hands together to the side.

"Thank you Koakuma," Patchouli smiled appreciatively to her familiar, and Koakuma smiled brightly in response.

"Hmmm…?" Marisa and Alice leaned in to inspect the jar closer.

There, floating serenely was a root of Mandrake.

"… Oi," The two looked up, unamused.

"We had no way of obtaining it from around here, so I figured I'd try to make my own," Patchouli explained, "I have made several attempts at artificial life before, homunculi to be exact, but I have never succeeded before. So 'This is a good time to try again' was what I thought," she gazed at her own creation with a hint of pride, "And so far, it has been growing well. That mandrake there is a creation of magic, transmuted from an ordinary potato and aged at an accelerated rate. Well… I wouldn't call it a success… but it's my most successful attempt yet," she declared to Marisa and Alice with a researcher's sparkle in her eye.

Alice and Marisa returned with deadpanning.

"Ahhh… You had us all worked up for nothing da ze…" Marisa fell back into her chair with a sigh of frustration.

"Patchouli-san, that… wasn't such a nice thing to pull on us," Alice sat down and politely said, "S-Say… You want to go with me for a walk sometime?" she suggested a little evasively, "You know… get out of the library and get a little fresh air-"

"… I'm not senile, and the library's fine," Patchouli picked up her book grumpily.

"Aha… Sorry Patchy, it's just that your sense of humour has been a little toxic lately," Alice frantically apologised.

Patchouli pouted, "I just thought I'd show you my mandrake here since you were all wondering how babies developed."

"It's a plant ze…" Marisa dismissed, receiving a look of disapproval from Alice. Patchouli glanced between the two and resigned with a sigh.

"It's more of less the same though, isn't it…?" Patchouli opened back her book, "Seed to adult."

"Well, it is rather impressive, isn't it?" Alice added considerately.

Patchouli cheered up, "You think so?"

"Y-Yeah! Right Marisa?"

"Really?- O-Ow! Yes! Yes it is- Oh…"

Across from the two, Patchouli was smiling brightly, something rare to see even for her two closest friends. "Hmm… Then I guess I should put in more effort into raising it, huh?" she cheerily said, and, putting her book down, took to cooing to and stroking her mandrake's container.

"… She's really treating it like a baby, though…" Alice and Marisa awkwardly grinned at each other, happy that their friend Patchouli was happy.

"Your pick's looking less and less desirable," in the background, Shanghai was taunting her sister, but was herself surprised at an unexpected reation – Hourai was looking at Patchouli with more admiration than ever.

"Sh-She's such a well-accomplished magician," Hourai sparkled, "And she's so motherly too! She's perfect! My Patchouli-sama's perfect! !" Hourai gushed with approval.

Shanghai sweat-dropped.

* * *

"Haah… Sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with you two, ze…" Marisa began her usual boredom chant as Alice and Patchouli remained engrossed in their magic research.

"Indeed…" "Yes, I've been wondering too…"

Marisa shot Alice and Patchouli a disgruntled look and mumbled something darkly.

"Actually, I _have _been wondering about that…" Alice looked up and picked up from where she had left off, "If you don't mind me asking… Why do you stay around us when you so dislike the activities we do?"

"... Well, there is no one else…" Marisa leaned back in her chair and said thoughtfully, "I know this is all part of being a magician, but it's almost enough to want me to _not _look for a way to extend my life…"

"Why don't you go find the Hakurei shrine maiden to play with, then?" Patchouli suggested over the top of her book.

"Reimu? Hmmm… Nah I couldn't possibly ze…" Marisa grinned sheepishly and waved a hand in front of her.

"Heh… Let me guess… She finally had had enough of you, huh?" Alice smirked.

"Yeah… You could say I can't be anywhere near her for the time being…" Marisa scratched her cheek, blushing in embarrassment.

"Maybe I should do that to you too…" Patchouli pondered out loud.

"Hey!"Both Alice and Marisa objected at the same time, before glancing at each other in surprise.

"A-Alice…" Marisa's eyes shone with gratitude, "I had no idea you cared so much for me ze-"

"If you ban her from bothering you, then I'll be all that's left for her to bother!" Alice exclaimed, all bothered.

"… So that's what you're worried about da ze…" Marisa slumped onto the table.

"… I'm sorry if I'm a terrible host," Patchouli closed her book and smiled a small smile at Marisa, "Maybe you should take a look around instead of just sitting here with us," she suggested, "Find something to amuse yourself. Such a big library as my own must surely contain something to hold your attention, at least for awhile."

Marisa got up as Patchouli suggested.

"You can't take anything with you though," Patchouli slapped on a condition as she reopened her book.

Marisa sat down.

"Then what's the point of this being a library?" she complained.

"You borrow, not steal," Alice and Patchouli stated flatly from behind their books.

"But _I am_ borrowing ze," Marisa insisted, "I'm only hanging on to it till I die-"

"Then shall we have you die right now?" Alice and Patchouli said darkly all of a sudden.

"Ooh… Is it a danmaku battle you want?" Marisa, instead of being intimidated, became pumped up with excitement, "Heh… It's been too long, hasn't it?" she stood back up confidently.

Alice and Patchouli looked up and felt strangely energised by the Marisa's glow. Looking at each other, they both thought the same thing: Maybe just this once…

"Hehe…" Marisa grinned as Alice and Patchouli silently returned her challenge, "Then shall we-"

"MARISA-ONEE-CHAAAAN! ! !" the doors to the library suddenly burst open, and in came a walking doll of destruction.

Flandre Scarlet, younger sister of the mistress of the mansion Remilia Scarlet. A vampire of close to five centuries yet childlike in stature, looks and behaviour. She wore a red dress and had her long blonde hair tied up in a side-ponytail beneath a cloth mob cap. But the most striking thing about her were her wings, which looked nothing like a vampire's; they were more like bare branches strung with gleaming sickle shaped gems. Close behind her was an apologetic looking short, silver haired girl with equally silvery, mysterious eyes wearing a maid's uniform. Izayoi Sakuya, chief maid (and by far the most useful) of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"MARISA-ONEE-CHAN! !" the blonde child repeated as she launched herself at a backing-up Marisa.

"So sorry Patchouli-sama for disturbing your peaceful day," Sakuya apologised on the heels of Flandre, "But the Young Mistress, she-"

"Hey, hey! I heard you talking about a danmaku battle! !" Flandre's arms were wrung around Marisa's neck from behind in a tight embrace, the two swinging about largely by Flandre's doing.

"H-Hey there Flan- …! F-Flan-chan, I-I can't breathe ze…!" Marisa desperately croaked.

"Hnnngh…! How dare you come here and ask for a danmaku battle and _not _ask for me? !" the swinging pendulum of a vampire complained, "I've missed you so much, Marisa-onee-chan!"

"Never mind about my peace, maybe we should get the Young Mistress off of Marisa?" Patchouli suggested calmly to Sakuya. ("I sometimes even secretly wait by the windows, hoping to catch you as you break into our house!")

"Yeah, at this rate, she may _actually _have to return us our stuff today," Alice dryly remarked. ("Uh… D-Do you, Flan-chan? Ahaha… S-Sorry for not dropping in more often and please don't do that from now on...")

"At once, Patchouli-sama," Sakuya took out a little gold pocket watch, and instantaneously Flandre was off of Marisa's neck and by her side, held firmly by the scruff of her collar.

"… _Ooh, how daring of you, Sakuya_…" Flandre, a little annoyed at being so suddenly and forcibly removed from her Marisa-onee-chan by a mere maid, glared at Sakuya with an immense amount of malice, "_Shall I DESTROY YOU FOR THAT? !"_

"Sure, Flandre-ojou-sama," Sakuya unflinchingly replied, "But in exchange, I shall tell on you to Remilia-ojou-sama. And then she will ground you."

"…! A-Ah…" Flandre looked down meekly, the mention of her older sister having quietened her down.

"Don't worry, it's just a danmaku battle with Marisa-san that you want, right?" Sakuya said kindly, "I'm sure if it's just that, Marisa-san…" she looked at Marisa with a tinge of deviousness in her eyes, "… Will be happy to oblige," she smiled at Marisa.

Flandre looked from Sakuya to Marisa hopefully.

… That devilish maid, I swear she's taking after Remilia more and more, Marisa grumbled mentally, "Ah well… I _did _say I was looking for a danmaku battle da ze…" she shrugged, giving in.

"Ahaha! Yaay!" Flandre ran up to Marisa and took her hand excitedly, "Here! This way!" she started pulling Marisa towards one of the mansion's massive halls.

"Woah! A-Alright- Alice, Patchouli, looks like I'll be taking some time to clear Extra Stage ze…" Marisa shouted over her shoulder, trying to look cheerful but sounding rather hesitant and regretful of her decision.

"… I shall go watch over them to make sure it doesn't get out of hand," Sakuya sighed a tired smile and excused herself from the library, a little bit of mischievous guilt written on her face.

"…" "…" Alice and Patchouli found themselves alone in the library all of a sudden.

"Well, i-it's sure gotten quiet rather suddenly, hasn't it?" Alice asked uncomfortably.

"Y-Yeah…" Patchouli replied in a similar manner.

Then, simultaneously looking away, "Poor Marisa."

**Chapter End**


	4. Ch 4: Tripping and Falling Over One Anot

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Tripping and Falling Over One Another is so Cliché… But We'll Go With That**

"Chance!" Hourai exclaimed, clenching a fist triumphantly.

"Eh...?" Shanghai pouted disapprovingly. The two dolls were floating around the vast, dim corridors of the library, Alice and Patchouli having remained engrossed in their magic research far from here. It was not odd for the two of them to wander about aimlessly while Alice was not commanding them; they could be summoned back at a snap of her fingers, so she had not taken much notice of their disappearance.

"Hehe… Finally… Finally that black-white rat is gone!" Hourai rubbed her hands with glee, "Now that Alice-sama and Patchouli-sama are alone, this is the perfect opportunity to match them up together!"

"Hourai-nee-chan…" Shanghai crossed her arms, "Love doesn't work like that… You can't just force someone to fall for another- What are you doing?" Shanghai flew down to where Hourai was busy fidgeting with something at the bottom of a bookcase.

A trip wire.

"… You're going to literally make them _fall _for one another, aren't you?" Shanghai sweat-dropped.

"Yup," Hourai, finished with tying the knot on one end, flew over to the opposite book case and started tying the other.

"… T'ch, why didn't I think of such a brilliant idea? !" Shanghai turned away jealously, "That sort of thing always raises flags in romance comedies!"

"Hmm hmm~! I know, right?" Hourai grinned, "Thank you for your fanfic stash giving me such inspiration!"

Shanghai whipped around anxiously, "I-It won't work!" she stated, though with uncertainty, "I-It may always lead to the female lead having romantic feelings for the dense protagonist in stories, but i-it won't work here!"

"Now… Just to find some excuse to lure Alice-sama and Patchouli-sama here~!" Hourai was already floating away from her sister cheerily.

"I-I'll sabotage your trap!" Shanghai exclaimed desperately.

"No you won't," Hourai turned around and grinned, "You're curious about the outcome too, right?" she continued on, unconcerned. Shanghai twiddled her fingers together and glanced about her, unsure of what to do, before sighing and flying after her sister, the trip wire trap untouched and waiting.

* * *

Boom!

"…" "…"

Crackle!

"…" "…"

Pichuun~!

"… I wonder if we can collect our belongings yet-"

"She's too stubborn to die that easily…"

Pichuun~! Pichuun~!

"… You absolutely sure?"

"…"

(Arrgh…! Take this! Stardust Reverie!)

"… Oh, she's hanging in there…"

Pichuun~!

"… I'm going to go collect my stuff-"

"Don't be so macabre, Alice-san."

"You don't want your books back?" Alice closed her book and looked at Patchouli inquisitively.

"I don't want them back _this way_," Patchouli stated.

"… You're worried for her, aren't you-"

"It'll be a pain to search her house…"

Alice's eyes widened in surprise before she giggled, Patchouli smiling knowingly from across the table.

"Yeah, she had better come back in one piece or we'll never get our stuff back," Alice put down her book. "Ah…~ I'm feeling like a little walk, my legs need a little stretching…"

"How's it looking like out there, Koakuma?" Patchouli called across the library hall. (a/n: she doesn't actually have to shout, since the library was so quiet and echo friendly)

"Mmm… Hang on a moment," Koakuma opened the library doors. Red, green and yellow flashing lights came bursting through.

"I wouldn't recommend stepping outside, Patchouli-sama," Koakuma called back.

"Sakuya is going to be so mad when this is over, and I'd probably have to help with the repairs too…" Patchouli sighed, "Well, maybe we should at least take a walk around here? See if we can find anything else interesting…" she got to her feet.

"Wait… Isn't this your library?" Alice asked, following suit, "You… don't know what's in it?"

"I mostly know," was Patchouli's not entirely reassuring reply.

"… I just hope we don't run into any surprises," Alice said when Hourai came flying to her side, followed by Shanghai. "Oh! That's a good idea…" Alice thought aloud to herself as she looked at the first doll, "Hourai," she addressed the expectant doll, "Do lead the way. Find something interesting for us to pass the time," she requested.

With a wave of her Alice-sama's hand, Hourai curtseyed and flew off.

"Then let us go," Alice gestured the way ahead to Patchouli who nodded in reply, and the two walked down one of the library's corridors, little Shanghai following uncertainly behind them.

* * *

"… Although I must admit I cheated a little, since I drew upon just the Wood element… I suspect creating a life form other than a plant will be much more complex… It will probably take the elements of Wood, Fire and Water, which isn't the most miscible combination… Mixing them together like a pancake mix won't do either… Eh…? … What are you giggling about, Alice…?"

"Hee hee… Nothing really, I suppose… I'm just being silly…."

"… Then I will continue-"

"You did just use a rather uncharacteristic analogy though, Patchouli…"

The two stopped along one of the long corridors they were walking down in the library as Patchouli turned around questioningly at a smiling Alice.

"… What?" Patchouli asked simply.

"'Pancake mix…?'" Alice raised an eyebrow.

It took two seconds for Patchouli to realise her mistake, and she looked away with a hand clamped over her gasp, with only her blushing cheeks visible on either side.

"I didn't know you liked them that much," Alice grinned.

"I must have spent too much time at your house these days…" Patchouli mumbled.

"Shall I make them again the next time you drop by?" Alice dropped the line cheerily as she continued ahead past Patchouli.

"… Pancakes are unnecessary, but…" Patchouli followed up to Alice's side, and the two stopped again as they looked at each other.

"…. Welcomed," she resigned with a smile.

"If you're going to be so subtle about it, there won't be any pancakes," Alice viciously, mischievously rejected Patchouli's resignation. Ooh…! What does she mean by unnecessary but welcomed…? ! I'll have Patchouli begging for pancakes before the day ends…! Heehee… Patchouli begging for pancakes…

"Then I suppose we'll have to do without them," Patchouli did not so much as blink an eye as she continued ahead past Alice.

"…? ! Oh come on… You don't have to be so cold about me," Alice sighed disappointedly as she followed up to Patchouli's side.

"Cold? Hardly…" Patchouli refuted, "I know hardly anyone else I can talk to this freely," she said sincerely to Alice, "Oh… And um… Please have those pancakes **I love so much** ready for me the next time I visit your house. Is… that how one asks for it?" she added suddenly and slyly.

Alice, caught off guard, startled, blushed and finally settled for giggling, "Sure!"

The two kept up their aimless 'tour' of the library, but before long they spotted at the end of the long line of bookcases, little Hourai was bobbing midair serenly, patiently waiting for her master to follow.

"Ah Hourai! Have you found something?" Alice asked, just as something at the edge of her vision tripped her alarm.

Patchouli continued to walk ahead unawares, but was suddenly stopped short by a slender but firm hand on her arm; the hands of a puppeteer.

"Hmmm? What is it?" Patchouli twisted around looked at Alice inquiringly.

"Look," Alice indicated with a slight incline of her head. Patchouli turned back around and saw what Alice had spotted: a thin wire stretching from bookshelf to bookshelf close to the floor, barely visible in the light.

Hourai almost let out a gasp. Shanghai looked more let down than relieved.

"A trip wire," Patchouli observed.

The trap… No! It had been revealed…!

"As expected of a puppeteer…" Patchouli turned around and silently thanked Alice.

"It's nothing," Alice returned appreciatively, "But do you think it could be a prank of the fairy maids?" she asked.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first…" Patchouli and Alice continued their small discussion on the problematic nature of fairies while in the corner, Hourai and Shanhai were despairing.

"Nooo…! My brilliant plan to force the two of you to join hearts through your lips!" Hourai pulled a long face with her hands.

"Ahhh…! And I thought I could see some real trip and kiss scenes!" Shanghai hung her head disappointedly, "Brilliant execution, Hourai-nee-chan…" she glanced over, pouting. But Hourai paid no heed; she was busy being distraught.

"… Well, after the two of you go home, I'm going to gather the fairies and discipline them properly," Patchouli was saying.

"Haha… Then I'll leave them to you then," Alice smiled a thank you.

"Mmm… Then let us go back the way we came," Patchouli suggested, "I think we've walked enough, and I'll like to leave the fairies' trap disappointingly intact, and to use it to catch them red handed," she started to take a step forward, but…

"… Ah!" Patchouli started falling forwards instead. Her feet had accidentally become caught in her own dress…!

"…! Look out!" Alice exclaimed and grabbed Patchouli's left hand with her right just as she fell past her, catching her just in the nick of time, but…!

Thud! Patchouli was lighter than Alice had accounted for, and instead of falling to the floor, she was twisted back towards Alice, slamming into her and causing Alice to back into the bookcase, Patchouli ending up in her arms, her head against her shoulder.

"O-Ow…! A-Are you okay?" Alice winced, "Patchouli… Patchouli…?"

No answer.

"Patchouli? ! Ah- H-Huh…?"

Patchouli free hand was laid on her collar bones, and she was looking up with glimmering eyes, her nose a mere centimetre from her own. She seems alright… but why isn't she saying anything? And why's her face so red…?

"Patchouli…?"

"M-Mukyuu…" Patchouli murmured shakily. The fabric of their skirts were caught in between their legs which were interlocked, and their bodies rested atop one another's naturally along each other's curves. And Patchouli's felt really light. Really light, and soft-

Alice's own face became heated up.

"Y-You're too close…" whispered Patchouli. Her right hand was unconsciously still clenching Alice's left, where the both were held next to Alice's head, against the bookshelf.

"… A-Ah… Hyaah…!" Alice abruptly pushed a stunned Patchouli off, causing her to stumble away.

"Ah! I-I'm sorry about that!" Alice began apologising, but Patchouli was already turning away and dusting her clothes hastily.

"No, it's okay!" she exclaimed.

A highly uncomfortable moment of awkwardness followed.

Unable to take it after awhile, Alice gingerly touched Patchouli on the shoulder, who was still turned away from her, "H-Hey Patchouli-"

"Hyah!" Patchouli jumped around as if she was touched by something scalding hot.

"…"

"…"

"… Aha…"

"… Haha…"

"… Hahahaha…!" the awkwardness between them soon gave way to giggles though, and both looked at each other apologetically.

"What was that?" Alice asked, "We were being so silly."

"Yeah," Patchouli agreed.

"I-I mean, look at me!" Alice scratched her cheek, "I'm probably still blushing like an idiot…"

"Well, you are," Patchouli stated, still smiling.

"H-Hey! You are too!" Alice shot back, "That makes you an idiot too," she uncharacteristically, childishly said. Realising it only made her blush deepen.

"… Yup," Patchouli's smile became softer.

"…!" Alice's blush deepened further.

Above them, Hourai was gleeful beyond her wildest dreams. Even Shanghai, who was supposed to be rooting for a different pairing, had her hands over her mouth as if she had just seen a miracle-

"Oh, how cute of you two… Be joyous in this holy reunion and life thereafter, and only till death will thou part," blessed a snide voice from the shadows above.

"…? !" the two witches looked up.

"Remilia? !" a young girl's face shone a devilish smirk through the darkness.

* * *

"Ara ara~ I had no idea such things really existed…" Remilia Scarlet, the five hundred year old mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and older sister of Flandre Scarlet by five years, taunted. She was wrapped in several layers of light pink shear, which included a jacket over a nightgown, through which the outline of a camisole and bloomers could be seen. Apparently, she had just gotten out of the bed for the night, although her wavy and short powder blue hair was already neatly fixed, and her face clear and absent of any signs of sleepiness.

"Wh-What existed?" Alice asked nervously, readjusting the ties of her caplet, which had become loose in her recent accident with Patchouli.

"Hanky-panky in the library, that is…~" the childish vampire chirped from her perch atop a bookshelf, her calves, ankles and feet dangling naked over the edge.

"Grrr… We weren't flirting, Remilia!" Alice denied vehemently.

"An accident had happened, that's all," Patchouli explained, sounding a little less composed than she normally would.

"Mmm hmm, mmm hmmm…" Remilia swung her legs backwards and forwards, "And it just so happened that the accident ended with the two of you in those positions, yes? A little too convenient, even for cheap fiction," her crimson eyes gleamed mockingly.

"I'm telling you, it's just an accident, nothing more!" This was one of the few times a person would hear Patchouli raise her voice, even if slightly, but that's only because she tended to be a bit more open and expressive with her old friend than most. "And in any case, your sister is already up and about and causing havoc outside, so why are you here?" she asked Remilia.

"I'm here _because _my sister is up and about and causing havoc outside…" Remilia replied, "It's the _reason_ why I even woke up so early in the afternoon!" the Scarlet Devil irately grumbled.

"So why aren't you out there managing your sister?" Alice asked.

"… Isn't that Sakuya's job?" Remilia blinked, looking perplexed.

"... You're the older sister, it's your job," Patchouli deadpanned, Alice doing the same.

"… Ah well, Sakuya will handle it," Remilia took to observing her nails, "Oh, you're supposed to help too!" she instructed Patchouli.

"Hey, listen here! I've just had about enough handling your sister," Patchouli placed her hands on her hips, "If you really are any bit of the lady you claim to be, you will take responsibility."

"No," No hesitation from Remilia there.

"… Rather charismatic of her, isn't she?" Alice asked Patchouli sarcastically, who could only shake her head in disappointment.

"A lady of the castle always delegates all labour to her underlings," Remilia stated.

"Remi…" Patchouli began darkly, "Are you actually calling _me, _your long time friend, a mere maid-"

"But you are no servant of mine," Remilia interrupted, "You are an old companion who has brought much wisdom to this castle where it sorely lacked, and I will do well to heed that wisdom," she said sincerely with a fanged smile, "I can't let this grand mansion of mine be torn down by a simple game after all. That _would_ be shameful…"

"… Rather charismatic of her, isn't she?" Alice asked Patchouli with grudging admiration. Patchouli, a little surprised, could only shake her head with a sigh.

Inside Remilia's head, she was giving a victory pump. Yes! That was rather well done...

"Then what are you waiting for, oh Scarlet Devil Mansion's Eternal Red Moon?" Patchouli asked playfully.

"Right, right… I'm going, I'm going…" Remilia hopped down from her perch, "But before I put an end to my sister's fun, shall we indulge ourselves with Marisa's valiant danmaku struggle?" she held out a hand towards the library exit, "Front row seats for the first ten spectators."

Alice and Patchouli exchanged glances, "Sure, why not?" they answered Remilia, and headed for the exit, with Hourai and Shanghai in tow-

"Now _that_ is how you force a pairing," Remilia quietly smirked as the two dolls flew past her. Hourai and Shanghai froze before turning towards Remilia, but the Manipulator of Fate was already at the door, joining Alice and Patchouli in idle chit chat as they exited the library.

"… Sh-She knows about us…" uttered the two shocked dolls.

**Chapter End**


	5. Ch 5: The Unheard of, the Unseen and the

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Unheard of, the Unseen and the Downright Preposterous**

With the absence of the usual energetic chirping of birds, there was nothing to betray the weak sunlight hidden by the curtains. Together with the cool autumn air and the gentle lullaby of rain, and a most sleep-in friendly environment was created. And sleep in did Alice Margatroid. Her mind was already awake more than two hours ago, but minus the occasional stirring to expose her skin to cooler parts of the mattress, she made no other attempt to move her body, let alone get out of bed. Lying on her side, she stroked her limbs up and down the pleasantly icy bed, a satisfied expression on her face, her will trying its best to will her body back to sleep.

"Shanghai~" Shanghai chimed as she floated above her master, a little pink kitchen apron over her clothes.

"No… It's okay Shanghai…" Alice role played, "I want to sleep a little more… Breakfast can wait…"

It's close to noon though, Alice-sama~ Shanghai thought warmly as she smiled at her master's serene laziness. A little distance away, Hourai sat watching with a happy expression too.

Ah… Alice-sama… both dolls thought. How nice it would be if you could know such peace and happiness forever… Looking at each other, the two dolls wordlessly agreed to leave the room and let Alice have her rest.

* * *

"Which is why the latest development is for the best!" Hourai said with a little smugness as she and her sister floated about the house aimlessly. They would have prepared lunch for Alice-sama… only that that would betray their sentience. And so they idled about, having not received any instruction from their Alice-sama.

"… Are you still on about what happened the other day?" Shanghai said with undisguised bitterness, referring to the little incident between Alice and Patchouli back in the Scarlet Devil Mansion's library.

"And you're still sour about it, I see," Hourai smirked. The incident had led to some intimate embracing between the two magicians, even if unintended by either party.

"… You really think a-a little _accident_ is going to lead to any significant development?" Shanghai insisted, though more to herself than to her sister. "B-Besides! You had the vampire's help! Th-That's totally unfair!"

"Doesn't matter," Hourai shrugged, "So long as Alice-sama truly falls for Patchouli-sama. Alice-sama's heart will determine who is the one for her, you're the one that said so yourself!" she reminded.

Shanghai grumbled darkly.

"But I'm worried… That vampire," Hourai became more serious, "She knows about us," she looked at Shanghai, "You know, about how we're 'alive'."

"Do you think she'll tell Alice-sama, Hourai-nee-chan?" Shanghai worriedly asked Hourai.

"Well… So far, Alice-sama doesn't know, so I guess we're okay," Hourai reassured the both of them.

"Then why did you suppose she meddled with things?" Shanghai asked.

"I don't know… Does she have her own agenda?" Hourai pondered, "…! Maybe she's a fan of Alice x Patchouli too!" she brightened up. If that was true… then she had just gained a powerful ally without knowing it!

"… Maybe she just felt like causing an incident then," Shanghai started sounding bitter again.

The two will never know, but unfortunately for Hourai, Shanghai was right. Remilia just felt like pushing Patchouli into a kiss with Alice. You know the feeling, don't you? Like how when someone stands in front of you next to the edge of a pool…

"_Doesn't matter, it worked~" _Hourai sang cheerily.

"Grrr… Fine! So you've had a good first move," Shanghai conceded grudgingly, "Now's my turn! You just watch! What little ground Alice x Patchouli gained, Alice x Marisa will grind to dust!"

"Oh…? Fine then, my sweet little sister," Hourai smirked confidently, "Your elder sister will graciously let you have the next move."

Shanghai pouted and immediately whizzed off to another room, Hourai patiently waiting to see what her sister was up to. Soon, Shanghai came back with a piece of thin wire- Hang on…

"Erm… Shanghai?"

Shanghai flew down to the main door and began attaching one end of the wire to one end of the door.

"H-Hang on…!"

Finished with that end, Shanghai stretched the wire taunt across the door to the other end.

"Hang on! _Hang on_! !"

"What?" Shanghai looked up from where she kneeled, her handiwork almost done.

"Y-You can't use _that _again!" Hourai objected rather sensibly.

"Why? !" Shanghai sounded annoyed, "_You _used it! It's only fair that _I_ get to use it!"

"How- J-Just how many falls do you want Alice-sama to be involved in? !" Hourai sweat-dropped.

"You didn't seem to mind when she took that first one…" Shanghai grumbled, "I _will _have Marisa-sama on top of Alice-sama!" she turned her back to Hourai and obstinately finished the knot.

"But err… Haven't you forgotten that Alice-sama spotted _my _trap easily?" Hourai reminded her, "It was only when that vampire got herself involved that Patchouli-sama and Alice-sama even got into an incident in the first place!"

"… Oh… Right…" Shanghai sighed disappointedly but undid her trap, "Hmph! I'll just need to come up with something else then…" she thought aloud to herself.

B-Besides… Hourai thought awkwardly as she watched Shanghai ponder her options deeply, How is the door even going to open for Marisa-san with that wire in the way…?

* * *

In the gloomy dimness of the vast halls of a library, not a soul stirred, for there were none to do so. The fairy maids that usually attended this library had all been commanded, rather erratically, to take leave of the premises by their now completely absorbed-in-her-reading master.

Patchouli Knowledge sat alone at the table, her head buried hard in books as was her usual custom- W-Wait… Isn't that too many books even for her? !

"… You asked all the fairy maids to leave," came a high voice from up high. Patchouli did not answer.

"… You planning to play Jenga® with all those books…?" the amused voice continued. All around Patchouli were towers and towers of books Patchouli had asked the fairies to bring her before getting them to leave.

"… I am unfamiliar with that game," Patchouli finally spoke up, although she did not look up. She… sounds normal enough…

"… You know, when _I'm_ anxious, I like to smooth over my anxieties by doing something a bit more fun," the shadow above finally flickered, and a bat-like figure swooped down to reveal the mistress of Scarlet Devil Mansion. Remilia Scarlet was this time adorning a pearly white dress with small puffy sleeves and a red ribbon belt high around her waist.

"Like helping myself to a fine glass of wine with a dash of blood, for instance," Remilia emphasized her point with a wave of her hand, supported by her other at the elbow.

"Stop trying to make yourself out to be more adult than you normally are. You _hate_ mixing your drinks…" Patchouli shot the bat down.

"… Want a drink-"

"Leave me alone."

Remilia was bit down on her lower lip in a pout. The two exchanged glances, then looked away, Patchouli to her books and Remilia to the depths of her mind as she tried hard to think of something clever to say.

"… Mind if I sit here?" Remilia asked after awhile.

"Go ahead," Patchouli replied without a glance.

Pulling up a chair next to Patchouli, Remilia mounted the chair and used it as a step to perch herself on the table.

"… When are you going to learn that chairs are for sitting…?" Patchouli looked on awkwardly.

"But I like high places," Remilia gave her wings a happy flap as she made herself comfortable upon Patchouli's table, her hands busy smoothening out her dress to make it flow over the edge in layers of lace. "Anyways," she continued, "I was watching you for the last fifteen minutes and you've not progressed one page on that book, am I right?" she casually asked.

"…!" Patchouli retreated back to the safety of her books as fast as possible, but her blush was given away.

Remilia eye's quickly looked up from her dress hungrily. Chance…!

"So… About Jenga®…" she began slyly.

"Wh-What about it…?"

"You've really never heard of it before?"

"N-No…"

"Want to try to play it?"

"N-Not really…"

"I could get that Margatroid girl to teach you, I bet that puppeteer would be _really good_ at it…" Remilia pressed on with a sneer, "_What with her lovingly dexterous fingers and all…"_

"_I knew it was you! !_" Patchouli put down her book and raised her voice with such force that a surprised Remilia actually hopped of the table to safety, laughing. "It was you wasn't it? !" Patchouli pointed a finger at the vampire shakily, "I don't know how you did it but you made me fall over Alice that day!"

"And is it so bad to finally notice that such a cute girl had been next to you all this time?" Remilia stood smiling at Patchouli.

"…! I-I-It's bad…" Patchouli quietly retreated to her unread book again, her blush burning up.

Remilia this time sat on the chair she pulled up next to Patchouli, her lithe body leaning in towards Patchouli, presumably to savour as much of the magician's embarrassment as possible.

"And… what's so bad about it?" Remilia asked. Patchouli glanced sideways to see not a smirk however, but a smile.

"… W-We're supposed to be good friends," Patchouli hesitantly confided, "Yet here I am having… having indecent thoughts of her…" her crimson face vanished behind her book.

"There's nothing indecent about liking someone though," Remilia blinked.

"B-But how am I going to face her? !" Patchouli's voice was almost inaudible, "I-I find myself worrying about silly things, like how I look before her, and whether or not she actually enjoys being around me…"

"Ehehe… How cute!" Remilia grinned, "You and Alice would make a lovely pair of dolls, right next to each other," she chimed.

Patchouli's face might as well be plastered to the book.

"You know… I do think it's a little silly, but it's normal to worry about such things," Remilia wondered aloud, "After all, Alice is someone you like, right?"

Patchouli, peering from her book, looked at Remilia, who merely smiled back.

"Th-Thanks," she averted eyes, and Remilia clapped her hands together happily.

"So… If you're okay with it, shall I invite Alice over? Alone-"

"Aahhhh! ! W-Wait wait wait! !" Patchouli nearly pushed Remilia off the table, who was laughing again, "Th-that's too soon!"

"Fufufu! What a maiden you are!" Remilia cooed, "Ahaha~! This really makes me look forward to being a godmother- Ah…" Remilia held her tongue a little too late. Looking at Patchouli's frozen face, she keenly observed that all traces of blushing had drained away from the witch's cheeks.

"… God…Godmother…?" Patchouli uttered dangerously, "Is… that your intention all along…?"

"A-Ah… W-W-Well you see… I recently watched a movie and- Waah! !" Remilia was forced to dark upwards for her life as the asthmatic magician suddenly sprung to life, firing fireball after fireball after the vampire.

"W-W-Wait! Finding love isn't so bad, is it?" Remilia pleaded from the ceiling, "Waah! Ow, ow! That actually hit me!"

"Remilia, you jerk! !" Patchouli shouted after the vampiric jerk, "How can you be so careless with my feelings? !"

* * *

Kirisame Marisa lay on her couch in her home, her back propped up on the couch's arm and a scrapbook propped up on her lower belly. With a worn looking quill and a small pot of ink on a low table next to her, she expertly filled the book with illustrations of anything and everything she had ever seen and experienced. Several of such books were filled sat someone on the organised clutter about her detailing the attack patterns of past foes she had duelled, and she was thinking of making another one for the more recent youkai she had faced. This one was an illustrated guide to magical items she had seen being used against her.

Some of pages were earmarked with the goal 'To borrow for further study'.

Marisa's eyes turned away from her page briefly past the glow of the lone candle on her table to the window, where it was still cloudy without being gloomy and pleasantly rainy. A faint, damp smell of leaves and pine came wafting through the gaps of the closed windows and doors.

"Ah…~ It's not too bad to be indoors like this once in awhile, da ze…" Marisa thought aloud to herself, "Although I must be careful not to end up being indoors too long like Alice and Patchouli…" Marisa said to herself thoughtfully.

"Hmmm… But ahhh…!" Marisa suddenly sat up, "it makes me wonder what they're up to, ze! Maybe I should go play with them once the rains let up?" she wondered to herself, "It'll be a surprise to them!" she sincerely grinned.

'Surprise' doesn't nearly carry enough of a negative connotation, Marisa…

_[But… Why do you keep avoiding her?]_

"… E-Eh…?" Marisa put her fingers on her bottom lip, "A-Avoid- Don't be silly ze! Wh-Who're you even talking about-"

_[I know you know...]_

"A-Ah…! Wh-Who's avoiding who, ze? !" Marisa suddenly became defensive, "The last time I went to see her, she didn't show up-"

_[The last time you went to see her was two weeks ago though…]_

"H-Hmph!" Marisa turned away her head in annoyance and flopped back down on the sofa, "Sh-She was the one who told me to keep my distance! I-I'm just doing what that silly person told me-"

_[Ara, ara…~ How cute! Marisa-onee-chan is being so obedient!]_

"It's rebellious obedience! _Rebellious obedience, da ze!" _Marisa sat up all hot and bothered.

_[… Don't you want to see her face again?]_

"…!" Marisa nearly fell out of the sofa at being asked such a direct question, "… N-No…" she took a decidedly long time to reply.

_[… You took a decidedly long time to-]_

"Ahhh _shut up_!" Marisa yelled, "I-I'm going to make us some tea," she put her scrap book and quill aside and got up to her feet, "So you just stay here and be good!" she instructed and started navigating her way to the kitchen.

_[… We don't have tea here though…]_

"A-Ah… R-Right! I forgot-"

_[That you've never had a need to stock up on it?]_

Marisa froze in place, her face growing redder and redder by the second.

_[Making tea is usually her job.]_

Marisa's collar was steaming now.

_[Do you want some tea?]_

Marisa quietly nodded.

_[Her place has tea.]_

"… I… I-I…" Marisa nervously licked her dry lips, "I-I-I suppose I have n-no choice ze…" she mumbled. Taking several deep breaths, she repeated her statement more steadily, as if to give herself confidence, "Ahem! I guess… I have _no choice… _but to go _borrow tea, _ze!" Marisa hastily grabbed her witch's hat and broom and smoothened out her dress, "So I'm going to go _borrow tea," _she announced as she headed for the door, "And just so you know, I'm _only going to go borrow tea_-"

_[Giggle…~ I get it, I get it! Marisa-onee-chan is really cute sometimes!]_

"Hmph…" Marisa pouted and turned to open the front door- Ah… The rain's stopped. "Great… Even the weather is cooperating with me, da ze…" Marisa sighed, "Is there some great conspiracy to get me to see Reimu, I wonder…?" she allowed herself a small silly grin. Reimu… Marisa took another deep breath before mounting her broom.

"Argh! What am I so flustered about? !" Marisa scolded herself. "I-It'll just be like always, right?" and with that self-reassurance, she kicked off into the air. But something was bothering her in the back of her head…

Wh-Why am I going to Reimu's anyway…? Marisa quizzically thought. Spinning around midair, she looked back at her house _[and thought she caught a glimpse of]_-.

"…? Wh-What am I doing…? I-I had better get going if I want to make it before dark…" Marisa sped off.

* * *

"Fufu~ Sorry, Satori-nee-sama…" a greenish-grey haired girl with a bowler hat apologised as she stood cheerily gazing out of Marisa's window, "I won't be home today either..."

"That's because… That's because Koishi… Koishi is having so much fun!"

**Chapter End**

* * *

_**[I just realized if I completely blanked out Koishi's lines, it'll look like]**_** Marisa's having naughty thoughts! Hehehe…**


	6. Ch 6: Puppeteer Alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Puppeteer Alone**

"MARISA! ! MARISAAA! !" a young, blonde girl ran about the house calling out to another young, blonde girl that was not there, "MARISAAA! ! MARISAAA! !"

"Ah~han~ Just listen to the sweet sound of Alice-sama calling to her beloved Marisa-sama~" Watching the commotion of Alice Margatroid doing the above mentioned was, of course, Shanghai and her sister Hourai, "Ahh…~ How lovely this music sounds to my ears~" Shanghai was collapsed to a side on their usual shelf, her hands on her cheeks in a trance.

"… Sounds more to me like she's cursing Marisa-san's name…" correctly pointed out Hourai dryly. And curse Alice did as she went on a rampage about her own home, checking every nook and cranny as if expecting to find a certain Kirisame Marisa hiding there, just waiting to be exterminated like a rodent.

"Sh-She can't have… No… No she wouldn't! ! Th-That _Marisaaa..._! !" Alice was almost vexed to the point of lunacy.

"I… I knew it…" Hourai got to her feet with clenched fists, "This is too much!" she told off Shanghai, "To see Alice-sama so worked up over a false ruse…! !"

"Ara, ara~ Hourai-onee-chan, you promised~" Shanghai reminded Hourai, "One successful move from you, one successful move for me! This is _my _turn," she smiled sweetly.

"You little devil!" Hourai, however, was a doll of honour, and as upset as she was at seeing her Master like this, she held herself back from interfering.

So, you ask… Just what did Shanghai do?

"My diary! She wouldn't… But she always had a penchant for taking my books…" Alice, having half-given up on her search, was standing in the middle of the living room, her hair dishevelled and her clothes messy. "My diary…! It contains all my deepest thoughts! !"

Relax. It's not in Marisa's hands. Shanghai had just hidden it.

"It's amazing how well the ruse worked though…" Hourai sweat-dropped.

"It's been fantastic so far, hasn't it?" Shanghai smilingly agreed.

"Actually… That's bad news for you," Hourai pointed out.

"H-How's that…?"

"Because the moment she discovered her diary was gone, she immediately assumed it was Marisa-san that stole it," Hourai reasoned a little triumphantly, "It shows how little faith Alice-sama has in Marisa-san," she smirked.

"Fufu… On the contrary!" Shanghai beamed.

"E-Eh…?"

"Actually… Alice-sama's excited on the inside at the prospect of her diary being read by Marisa-sama! That's why she's all flustered," Shanghai started going into her trance again, "Just look at how flushed Alice-sama's face is, how her body trembles! All her most embarrassing sides… Open to her dear Marisa-sama even before they reach second base- Kyaah! !"

"… You are twisted," was the only thing Hourai could say.

"Hourai! Shanghai!" A sudden (but not unexpected) summons snapped the two dolls from their shelf to attention. "We're going to Marisa's house!" Alice gave orders, "I'm going to get my diary back! We'll… We'll break into that thief's den even if we have to!" she said, red-faced but very determined.

And with that, Shanghai enthusiastically flew to her master's side, while Hourai had to drag herself to come along on this misadventure.

* * *

"So… What's your plan there, Shanghai…?" Hourai whispered over as the two followed their master on a woodland trail through the Forest of Magic.

"Hmmm… I haven't really thought of that yet," Shanghai answered truthfully, "I was just so focused on getting Alice-sama and Marisa-sama alone together."

"Y-You haven't thought of anything…?" Hourai sweat-dropped. Nonetheless, she could see that this plan might pose a danger to her own Alice X Patchouli pairing. First off, it was in Marisa-san's territory, which means that Alice-sama might not have full control of events, and may be caught off guard, perfect for setting up heart-racing incidents.

Secondly, they _will _be alone together.

T'ch… While Shanghai is having her fun, I better think of a counterattack, Hourai thought to herself.

"We're here," Alice told her dolls after quite a long trek.

The doll sisters looked at the building before them. They had seen it several times, but not enough to be familiar with it, despite Marisa being Alice's closest neighbour. It was a small, two storied cottage, its outer walls covered with white wash and featuring exposed wooden beams, its room tiled over with black shingles. A quaint, if a little shabby, secluded cottage in the middle of a deep forest. The standard magician's home.

Alice Margatroid marched up to the door with purpose and rapped hard on it a couple of times. Silence.

"Kirisame Marisa! I know you're in there!" she knocked on the door a few more times. Nothing. "Hey! Open up! There's something of mine that I _just know _you have! !" she knocked harder still. No reply.

Taking a few steps back, she put her hands on her hips impatiently, "KIRISAME MARISA! !" she yelled, "Are you hiding from me? ! Frightened of what you've done, aren't you? !"

If Marisa was really hiding, she must have been very frightened indeed.

"… Don't tell me… She's really not home…?" Alice walked over to a closed window and peered in. No movement. "Oooh… But I really want my diary back! ! Nnnn…" Walking back to the door, she reached for it. No luck, it was locked.

"T'ch… Don't tell me I'll actually have to break the door down?" Alice wondered to herself worriedly, "But that's something only Marisa would do-"

The door opened [_by itself_].

"[_Who's there_] Oh, the door's not locked…" Alice walked through the door and motioned for Shanghai and Hourai to come in.

"I-I can't believe I just broke into Marisa's house…" Alice thought nervously to herself as she gazed about the interior of Marisa's home, "B-But this is simply payback for her breaking into _my _home so many times, right?" she smiled awkwardly towards Hourai and Shanghai, who nodded back cheerily.

"Okay, I want you two to search the back of the house and see if you can find my diary," Alice instructed the two dolls, "You know how it looks, don't you?" After receiving nods of confirmation, Alice sent the two on their way while she gazed about the living room… or at least, what she could see of it.

"Ooh… I hope Marisa doesn't get mad at me for breaking anything- Wait, why am I being so considerate to _her_?" But Alice was genuinely worried as she looked about the living room. As a good guest, she was always careful about not breaking any possessions in someone else's household – Which was exceedingly difficult to do so in this particular home.

"It's like living out Jenga®! How does she even navigate this place…?" Alice tiptoed about the obsessively sorted stacks of items and junk precariously balanced into neat little towers. The weirdest thing was even though each tower was composed uniformly of one category of items – Clothes here, stationary there, books over there, tools here – Marisa had managed to make each of them fit into block towers of roughly equal size and shape. Of even more amazement was that despite the clutter, everything seemed to be fairly clean and mostly free of dirt.

"… D-Does she play puzzles with everything…?" Alice sweat-dropped, "Geez, why can't she just get a few shelves and cabinets…? Oh, they're already brimming full, of course… And what happens if she needs to take anything? Won't everything collapse- Ah!" Alice jumped back, afraid she had accidentally bumped down one of the stacks of junk, but realised it was just the arm of a couch.

"… At least she kept her couch empty, as it should be- Oh?" Alice's gaze turned to the [_previously empty_] table, where a book laid there.

"A book?" Alice picked up the plain brown book. It was a book that was easy to handle - it was of the right weight, right size and right thickness, and was visibly worn about the edges, with traces of splattered ink on the covers.

"By the looks of it… It must be a book that is very personal to Marisa…" Alice correctly deduced. Her heart leapt at the realisation, "A… A diary? Marisa's personal diary…?" Her lips smiled slyly, "Well… Since she took mine, it's only right that I have a peek at hers, right…?" she flipped the book open without another thought.

_Alice sure has changed since I last saw her, huh? She looks so much prettier now… almost like one of her own dolls…_

"…? !"

_I like how she seems to be dancing with her dolls during her spell cards… Her fingers are so skilful!_

"… Th-That's a nice thought…"

Alice could only stare with an increasingly blushing face at the picture in between the two captions: It was a pencil sketch of her, done with obvious tender care. Every detail of her, from the wave of her short hair to the frills of her skirt were meticulously and accurately lined in, and Alice was depicted in a pose evocative of a ballet dancer in mid-pirouette.

"I-I don't dance that well… And that Marisa…! S-She's really given me a slender figure and a porcelain face," Alice had unconsciously seated herself on Marisa's couch, a hand over her mouth in embarrassment as she continued to read Marisa's description of her.

_I wish she'll try something a little different though… It seems that all her spell cards involve her being in the centre of a massive circle of dolls… And the dolls are such a pain to deal with too…_

"…! S-Silly Marisa!" Alice chuckled, "Your spell cards aren't that more sophisticated…! And I'm sorry if mine aren't up to your expectations…" she sheepishly apologised to the empty living room, "I'm not as skilled as you'd like to think…" she ran a hand over the sketch of herself, and memories of that mad human with showily explosive danmaku surfacing in her mind. Her eyes were on the last line on her.

_It's a little silly of me, but it's just occurred to me that she's the girl from Makai, isn't she? I wonder if Alice is mad at me for forgetting…? Maybe it's best not to bring this up…_

"…! So you _do_ remember…" Alice smiled a little bitterly, "Yeah, I was pretty upset when you didn't recognise me… You should have at least said something when you did…" she pouted. By now, Alice had forgotten she was in somebody else's home, and had already made herself comfortable on the couch, her back against the arm and her knees drawn to her chest with the book resting on her lap.

"Marisa…" A silly grin adorned her face as Alice reread Marisa's entry on her.

* * *

"Marisa-sama… Kyaah! !" in a distant corner, Shanghai was shrieking her head off in her mind, her mouth salivating nonstop. J-Just look at all these flags popping out from nowhere…! "Yes! Yes, just like that, Alice-sama!" Shanghai willed her master, "Yearn for her! Long for her! ! _Love her_! !"

And right next to her crazed sister, Hourai looked as if she was about to be sick. "Th-This is bad…" she groaned, "I-I never thought such a huge development would arise from just one move…!" Shanghai's dreaded Alice x Marisa had over taken her own Alice x Patchouli by miles in one fell swoop…!

"That book…! It's all that book's fault- Huh?" But hang on… Wasn't that table [_empty_] when they came into the house…? No wait… I'm sure it was [_empty_]… No…! It _was definitely _[_empty_]-

"Stop screwing with me! It was empty for sure! !" Hourai suddenly cried out.

Shanghai momentarily paused her fangirling and looked at Hourai uneasily, "H-Hourai-nee-chan…?"

"Yes… That table was empty…! The book wasn't there!" Hourai panted with some effort. "Shanghai!" she turned to her sister.

"A-Ah… Yes, Hourai-nee-chan?"

"I would congratulate you on your current success, but something is not right…" Hourai her back to the living room, where behind the two dolls, Marisa's kitchen lay in darkness.

Almost simultaneously, both dolls armed themselves with their lances.

"… I'm glad you've sensed it as well, and have chosen to prioritise our Master's safety over your fantasies," Hourai said as she stared into the darkness.

"… Th-There's someone watching us, isn't there...?" Shanghai did the same as well. ("And anyways… What sort of doll do you think I am to choose fantasy over Alice-sama's wellbeing…?")

"Be careful Shanghai," Hourai cautioned, "I don't fully understand, but it seems that if we don't keep the presence of this foe in mind, we will somehow forget she was even there." ("Shanghai, these days… I don't really know what to expect from you…")

And indeed, both dolls were having trouble remembering why they had even armed themselves in the first place. It was only with all their dedication as servants of Alice that they could even sense that something was off. Taking a quick glance back towards the couch to assure themselves that Alice was still there safe and sound, the two dolls then rushed off to the kitchen confront their adversary.

* * *

Marisa's kitchen was dark, the shades pulled over the windows. Hourai and Shanghai had no need to worry about bumping into anything, however, because strangely enough, Marisa's kitchen was very neat and kept free of junk. It was not due to a lack of use either – a user of the kitchen would see that the pots were visibly worn and the stove blackened but clean. Maybe this was the one room where her compulsive disorders were most visibly expressed? (a/n: No it's not… Shanghai and Hourai have yet to see her bathroom, that place is maintained like a five-star hotel's…)

Shanghai and Hourai swiftly took up positions back to back in the centre of the dim kitchen, their eyes watching intently for any movement-

"…! [_She's moved_!]" Shanghai [_detected_] put down her lance.

"Focus, Shanghai!" Hourai, seeing her sister lower her guard, turned to scold her. But as soon as she did so, she found [_herself lowering her lance as well_] nothing of interest.

"… I think we won't find the diary in here, Shanghai…" Hourai remarked.

"Yeah… Want to head back?" asked Shanghai.

And the two dolls headed out of the kitchen towards their master to regretfully report their failure to find the diary-

"Wait, wait, _wait_! !" Hourai shook her head vigorously and looked down at her little hand clutching her lance, "I'm holding on to my lance for a reason, I'm holding on to my lance for a reason, I'm holding on to my lance for a reason…! !" she muttered over and over in a determined attempt to remember… something…

"… H-Hourai-nee-chan, are you finally going mad…?" Shanghai asked a little terrified.

"Shanghai!" Hourai turned to her with terrifying ferocity.

"Y-Y-Yes? !"

"_Why _are we here looking for Alice-sama's diary here when we know _you _were the one that hid it?" Hourai questioned.

Shanghai blinked for a moment, then suddenly gasped and raised her lance back again towards the darkness of the kitchen, "It's because we aren't looking for it in the first place, are we?"

Cold sweat crept down from Hourai's temple, "I can't believe we forget we were seeking out a threat to Alice-sama… This foe is dangerous…" she raised her lance likewise. "But you… _won't fool us this time! !"_ she suddenly made a mad dash towards a corner of the kitchen, where there was a space between the food cabinet and the wall.

"I see her too! !" Shanghai quickly followed suit. Both dolls closed in on the space, trapping whatever it was in there against the wall.

At first, the image of [_her_] her was rather bleary, like a photo out of focus, but eventually…

"Ahaha… Looks like I've been caught haven't I…?" a smiling Komeiji Koishi raised her hands in defeat.

**Chapter End**


	7. Ch 7: The Plot Widens

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Plot Widens**

A young, blonde haired girl flew through the sky, one gloved hand gripping on to the broad brim of her witch hat, the other gloved hand tightly holding on to the handle of the broom she was riding on. Her face was ducked against the rushing air as she flew through the autumn sky, wishing she had a third hand to stop the incessant drumming of her heart.

Before long, the clouds parted to reveal a modest and traditional Shinto shrine in a large rectangular clearing of the forest. Hovering hesitantly in the air for a moment, the girl berated her own silliness and landed in defiance of her thumping heart on the stone paved courtyard. Her hands still clutching her hat and dismounted broom, the girl marched up purposefully towards the main building, climbed the steps onto the porch, and breathed in deeply before raising a hand to knock on the front sliding doors.

"Haah… R-Reimu…? Reimu… A-Are you in…?" the determined witch less-than-determinedly whispered.

Two seconds.

Kirisame Marisa promptly turned around, "G-Guess she's not in, huh? T-Too bad, ze…" she nervously chuckled and started to mount her broom-

Slide- BANG!

"W-Wah? !"

"KIRISAME MARISA!"

A fallen Marisa was on her side right on the edge of the porch, her eyes on the kneeling brunette girl before her with nervous guilt. Hakurei Reimu, the sole shrine maiden of the Hakurei shrine, was on her knees just before the door, having slammed it wide open with all her strength. She was dressed in a rather unique adaptation of the miko's costume – It was red and white, as in tradition, but it consisted of a red sleeveless blouse with a yellow ascot, a matching frilled skirt, and white detached sleeves. Her face was flushed yet kind of angry.

"What… are you doing here, sneaking around like a thief?" her deep brown eyes narrowed.

"I-I-I came here t-to steal some tea ze- I-I-I mean I came here to borrow!" Marisa put her hands up before her in a vain attempt to defend herself from Reimu's formidable glare.

"… Well at least you were honest with me the first time…" Reimu muttered, a little amused but still angry looking.

"Aha… Ahahaha- Reimu is that tea I see on the living room table…?" getting back on her feet, Marisa noticed over Reimu's shoulder the two cups of steaming tea accompanied by a tea set in the living room, which until now had only one occupant.

"…! I-I-I was waiting for a guest!" Reimu stood up and quickly turned her back to Marisa, "And it wasn't you, I'll have you know that!" she looked over her shoulder sharply.

"Ahaha… O-Of course it can't be me, I didn't even tell you I was coming- Hii!" Marisa jumped back mid-laughter as the Hakurei Shrine maiden rounded upon her fiercely again.

"… Hmph…" Reimu turned away and sat herself at the Japanese-styled table, "Well… since you're here… Why don't you make yourself at home?" she gestured across the table.

"… Of course, ze!" Marisa grinned and sat down, and before Reimu could even offer her, sipped her cup of tea that was 'meant for someone else'. The moody Reimu before her was starting to feel familiar again… Not an inch of her had changed. Her sharp eyes, her distantly considerate character… What was I so worried about, da ze…?

"… T'ch…" Reimu, at Marisa's stupid smile, turned away, a little hot and bothered.

"Haah… Your tea's not the best, but it is nice in its simplicity, ze!" Marisa sighed after draining her cup significantly.

"What sort of compliment is that…?" Reimu asked, not at all feeing complimented, "It's like you're saying I'm only good at simple stuff…"

"Haha… Isn't that you, da ze?" Marisa grinned again.

"Hmph…" Reimu looked away, although with a small smile.

"So… About this other guest you were supposed to have…" Marisa sat up and looked about her, faking expectation of a third party to come in at any moment, "I hope I'm not imposing upon you by being here," she said.

"Oh, not at all…" Reimu played along, "After all, once _he's _here, you'll simply fade into the background."

"Eh…? _I'll _fade into the background?" Marisa crossed her arms in mock disbelief, "Who _is this_ guy to be able to overshadow the _great _Kirisame Marisa, ze?"

"He's tall, dark and handsome," Reimu was gazing out the window with her chin propped on her hand, "And he's got a great character to boot."

"And… you and he are in… some sort of relationship?" Marisa too had her chin on her hand as she leaned in across the table amusedly.

"He's my boyfriend," Reimu answered poker-facedly, still gazing out the window.

"Which is to say he's a figment of your imagination, da ze!" Marisa laughed, "If someone like Reimu can get such a guy, the world must be coming to an end!" she joked.

"Hmph…! You don't have to be so mean…!" Reimu finally looked round pouting, "Anyways, you're talking too much! Just keep quiet and drink your tea! That's what you're here for, right?" she scolded as she reached over to refill Marisa's cup.

"I actually came to borrow tea leaves ze, not to drink," Marisa chuckled.

"I'm not about to just start letting you borrow my tea leaves too, you take home enough of my stuff…" Reimu chided.

"What's the difference? Borrowing from you is like borrowing from Kourin, only through you, ze!" Marisa grinned, referencing a poor half-youkai store owner in the human village long victimized by the two.

"W-Well, that's true…" Reimu sheepishly chuckled- Oh? Though startled, she did not move her hand away, which was suddenly under Marisa's.

"… Marisa?" she looked up and asked calmly.

"… A-A-Ahhh! !" Marisa sharply withdrew her hand, as if shocked by her own actions, "I-I'm sorry! I don't know what made me do that!" she started apologising profusely- "Hah…!"

It was now Reimu that was clutching her hand. "Welcome back…" she smiled gently.

Marisa blinked, before smiling back apologetically, "Sorry for not visiting you."

"Haha… Hahahaha…!" the two giggled, finally feeling comfortable with each other again after the longest while.

Above the two, in a corner of the room, an eye was watching intently through a gap in space.

"This… This is an unacceptable development…" a clenched jaw declared quietly.

* * *

"Did you really think you could have fooled us forever? !" Hourai thrust her lance towards Koishi's face in an effort to intimidate her. To help her was one reluctant Shanghai, made by her elder sister to hold a single lit candle over their heads, like that of a lone lamp in an interrogation room. Koishi was bound to a kitchen chair, although her delighted face looked far from intimidated; framed within her short greenish-gray hair were her still rosy cheeks. She wore a yellow frilled blouse with a green skirt, and sported a black bowler hat. But most distinctive of her appearance was a strange blue sphere over her left breast, connected to her feet by what looked like really long blue veins.

"Who sent you! Why are you hiding out here! Are you plotting to attack my Master? !" Hourai questioned fiercely, each question punctuated with a nudge of her lance.

"H-Hourai-nee-chan…" Shanghai mumbled awkwardly in disagreement.

"Quiet, Shanghai!" Hourai turned around and whispered urgently towards her sister, "I need to do this properly to get a confession from her!"

"Ara, ara…~ You're being so serious at this… It's really cute!" Koishi beamed, "Two lovely little living dolls doing all they can to protect their maker from harm!"

"R-Really? ! I-I mean, of course we have to be serious!" Hourai quickly covered up her delight with a stern expression, "Our Master's safety is at stake here- Hang on… Shanghai, she knows we're living dolls!" Hourai suddenly waved her lance, all panicky, "Quick! She knows too much! We have to kill- Ouch!"

"Will you get a grip on yourself? !" Shanghai had taken the candle holder, flaming candle still in, and whacked Hourai upside the head with it, "We're the ones that revealed ourselves to her!"

"R-Right…" Hourai winced apologetically.

"… You know…" Koishi sat obediently in her bindings, thoroughly entertained, "I _was _hiding in _Marisa-onee-chan's _house, so… doesn't that, you know… make my target more likely to be Marisa-onee-chan?" she reasoned smilingly.

"… Sh-She's right!" It was Shanghai's turn to be panicky, "Quick, Hourai-nee-chan! We have to kill- Ow!"

And… it was Hourai's turn to whack Shanghai upside the head. With the same candle holder. With the same flaming candle still in.

"Get a hold of yourself, Shanghai!" Hourai chastised. Pointing her lance once again at Koishi, she asked threateningly, "Alright, you get just _one _chance. Tell us… What is your _real reason _to be here?"

"… I want to see a kiss scene," Koishi answered.

"Oh… Okay- Wait what?" went both dolls.

"I want to see an intimately, innocently passionate love scene!" Koishi's eyes lit up as she began to lose herself in her daydreams, "I want to see two girls shyly explore with each other, realising that their hearts hold nothing but sweet desire for each other, making promises to each other to be their one and only- Kyaahh! !"

"Kyaahh! ! I know, right? !" exclaimed Shanghai, "So it was you that planted that scrapbook for Alice-sama, wasn't it?" she went over to Koishi and started to untie her newfound friend, "It really got her heart racing- Hyah! H-Hourai-nee-chan? !"

Hourai had suddenly swung her lance in between Shanghai and Koishi, preventing the former from untying the bound satori youkai. Hourai's face was distraught.

"So… It was your doing, wasn't it…?" she continued her interrogation of Koishi, "It was you that planted that book, right?"

"And… What's the matter if it is?" Koishi asked blankly.

"What's the matter…? What's the matter…? !" Hourai dropped her lances and rushed over to grab the front of Koishi's blouse tearfully, "You're furthering Alice x Marisa, that's what's the matter!" she cried, "My… My Alice x Patchouli… It was smashed in one day!"

Shanghai looked on with but a hint of an obnoxiously giant sneer, but Koishi looked puzzled.

"H-Hourai-chan…" she addressed the wailing doll sympathetically, "It wasn't me that planted that book."

"… H-Huh?" "Wha- Huh? !"

"In fact… I had no idea who this Alice-onee-san was until the three of you came here," Koishi told the two truthfully, "I was trying so hard too to force the idea that the table was empty, but it seems to have further reinforced the abnormality instead…" she added sheepishly.

"W-Wait…" Shanghai started, "So that means that… you weren't shipping…?"

"Nope, sorry. I was pushing for a Reimu x Marisa," Koishi giggled apologetically, "In fact, Marisa-onee-chan's not here because she's with Reimu-onee-chan at the moment!"

Shanghai's jaw dropped while Hourai suddenly brightened up. Reimu x Marisa… That's the same as denying Alice x Marisa…!

"K-Koishi-sama! !" Hourai flew over to enthusiastically unbind her newfound ally, "Many thanks for helping me preserve the dignity and chastity of my Master for the more deserving to take- Woah!"

Shanghai had suddenly swung her lance in between Hourai and Koishi, her face distraught.

"Sh-Shanghai! Calm down… This _is_ just _a small kink_ in your designs~" Hourai attempted to placate her sister with an obnoxiously giant sneer on her face.

"Hourai-onee-chan, you meanie! !" Shanghai swung her lance about her, which Hourai simply dodged, sympathetic sneer still on. "Oh, oh, oh…! M-Marisa-sama…! Argh…! There's no time!" she suddenly dropped her lance and flew out of the kitchen.

"…? ! Shanghai…? Shanghai? !" Hourai, alarmed, gave chase. This girl's about to do something reckless…! "Shanghai! Where are you going? !" she called out as she too followed her sister out of the kitchen.

Koishi, now alone, looked about her blankly before spontaneously deciding to follow in pursuit.

T'ch… We have to go to the Hakurei Shrine now! Thought Shanghai as she made a beeline straight for the living room. But… How do I tell Alice-sama this…? Argh…! Never mind that! I'll face the consequences later…! !

* * *

Alice was still seated on the couch, looking through the various scrapbooks and grimoires Marisa had put together. Marisa's studiousness, diligence and artistic skills in the recordings of her observations… Why doesn't she show more of this side of herself? Alice thought with growing admiration.

"Hmmm… Come to think of it, we've never put together a grimoire together before, have we…? Oh…! Why don't I suggest a collaboration between the two of us the next time…?" Alice thought aloud with a small blush. Some alone time with Marisa… Wouldn't be too bad… I mean, just for research's sake… N-Nothing else…

Happily, she flipped the page to the next entry and-

Hakurei Reimu.

Alice's eyes froze. The entry itself was normal. There was a paragraph describing the basic traits of the subject. There descriptions of the shrine maiden's spell cards. There were illustrations throughout depicting the shrine maiden and her spell cards.

But what really caught Alice's eye was a tiny inscription Marisa had neatly made on the bottom border of the page.

_Sigh… I wonder what she thinks of me…~_

"… Marisa…?" Alice unconsciously asked the absent witch, almost as if wanting an answer to a question not fully formed in her head. What… does she mean by that line…?

For reasons unknown to her, Alice found herself closing the book and putting on the side table, where three others now lay. Feeling lethargic, she stood up, and…

"Ah… Shanghai…" she greeted placidly as Shanghai came zooming back into the living room, Hourai [_and an unknown girl youkai_] right behind her, "Just in time. I think we've overstayed our welcome…" she said, "We should be heading home… I-I don't think my diary is here anyway…" her voice continued on its own.

Hourai [_and the unknown girl_] paused to look at Alice's face in a puzzled, almost apprehensive manner, but Shanghai just ignored her and flew straight out the front door.

"Ah… Sh-Shanghai…?" Alice turned to gaze after the disappearing doll, her face still rather saddened. After awhile though, she snapped out of it when she realised her doll was in fact fast disappearing over the horizon.

"H-Huh? ! Shanghai…? Shanghai? !" A malfunction at this time…? ! "Where are you going? ! Hourai! Quick! After her! !" she gave a swift command, and together, she and Hourai [_and Koishi_] gave chase as Shanghai flew straight on as fast as she could towards the Hakurei Shrine.

* * *

**Omake**

A quick discourse between Hourai and Koishi as the two are flying through the sky towards the Hakurei Shrine behind Alice.

Hourai: Psst… Hey…

Koishi: …

Hourai: Hey…! !

Koishi: Hmmm…?

Hourai: I just wanted to ask… Why did you create a relationship between Reimu-san and Marisa-san?

Koishi: … Hmmm, that is a good question… Why _did _I do that?

Hourai: Eh?

Koishi: … I don't know, to be honest.

Hourai: What? ! You mean you're just pairing the two on a whim?

Koishi: … Yes! Yes that's it!

Hourai: *Sweat drop* What's 'it'? You matchmaking them randomly?

Koishi: No! I mean I wanted to see a kiss! I want to see a romantic kiss! !

Hourai: *Deadpans further* You… really are just doing this randomly huh?

Koishi: _We want a kiss! We want a kiss!_

Hourai: … If you want one that badly, why don't you get one yourself?

Koishi: *Jaw drops in realisation* Ah… Why didn't I think of that…?

Hourai: Sigh… You know, you didn't have to make the situation more messy than it is for just a kiss. I swear, you're like Shanghai, and look at her now! We're rashly chasing her towards the Hakurei Shrine, where Marisa-san is meeting with Reimu-san. Things will get more complex for sure-

Koishi: Hey Hourai, which one should I kiss, Marisa-onee-chan or Reimu-onee-chan? Or maybe even Alice-onee-san?

Hourai: Wh-Wh-What? ! You want all three? ! You want to kiss all three? !

Koishi: … Why not?

Hourai: Because _you have to choose_! You can't have all three! We're not about to make a harem out of this situation here, that's why-

Koishi: I want to be part of a harem!

Hourai: W-Wait! No! Don't get any weird ideas! !

Koishi: *Speeds up ahead of Hourai* _Koishi, Marisa, Reimu and Alice~ Much lovely hugs and many steamy kisses~ _Kyahh! !

Hourai: No wait! Get back here! ! GET BACK HERE! ! !

Koishi: *Turns around and winks at Hourai* You know… Love can't be fabricated – It can only be brought out! *Speeds off further*

Hourai: … Wha…?

* * *

"… Fufufu… She's rushing to the Hakurei shrine now…?" a voice in the darkness of Marisa's now empty house said.

" This… has been working out splendidly!"

**Chapter End**


	8. Ch 8: Spiral

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Spiral**

"You know, for awhile I thought you would avoid me forever," Hakurei Reimu said, her legs kicking aimlessly off the edge of the porch.

"Me, avoid you? Excuse me!" Kirisame Marisa turned towards Reimu resentfully, "If I recall, it was you who told me to stay away, ze!"

Stray golden leaves blew across the paved courtyard of the shrine before them, refusing to stay in the neat piles the caretaker of the place had created at the sides. The weather was chilly, but not unpleasant, and the sky was a cloudy clear. A perfect setting for tea and snacks outdoors.

"And you did just that, like a good girl," Reimu effortlessly rebutted as she sipped her tea, "Now tell me when was the last time you were a good girl?"

"… Well, things were getting uncomfortable between us so…" Marisa fumbled with her fingers.

"… I needed more time too," Reimu glanced to the side with a nervous smile. Marisa pulled down the brim of her hat over her eyes and tightened her scarf over her blushing cheeks.

"So… Does that mean we're… more than friends now?" Marisa asked hesitantly.

"... What do you mean by 'more than friends'?" Reimu mischievously asked.

"D-Do I really have to say it? !" Marsia snapped.

"It's hard to answer such an ill defined question though…" Reimu looked to the side, her cheeks flushed red too.

More leaves blew over the courtyard, adding the slightest of sounds to the awkward silence that followed.

"So… H-How long, ze?" Marisa asked.

"Eh…? Erm… I-I don't know…" Reimu scratched her cheek, still averting eyes, "Might have been longer than I suspected…"

"Haha… It was like a sudden realisation in the back of my consciousness for me," Marisa grinned at Reimu, "I mean, I was just looking at you one day when I realised you're the one I'm closest too."

"Ever the sweet talker…" Reimu still refused to look at Marisa's direction, although it was with some effort that she did not throw herself into Marisa's arms.

"Hey, Reimu."

"Hmm…?"

"Are couples… supposed to do act differently?"

Reimu and Marisa exchanged glances.

"I-I mean… We're just being like usual, right? Th-That's not much different ze…" it was Marisa's turn to avert eyes.

Reimu's expression was blank for a moment, "It's fine, isn't it?" a warm smile broke over her face, "We've been like this since forever," she turned her gaze back to the courtyard.

"… You're right I guess!" Marisa heaved a sigh of relief and threw her head back across Reimu's lap, eliciting a small start from Reimu, "Ah! I was getting all tense over nothing, ze!" she stretched out her arms, then turned to her side and resigned herself to resting on Reimu's lap.

Reimu stared long and hard over Marisa's face. Her blonde locks, her youthful skin, her eyelashes… She watched in wonder as her hand moved by itself to stroke Marisa's hair.

"Ooh!" Marisa's eyes flew wide open.

"Ack! Marisa!"

"Why don't you try it, ze?" she looked up at Reimu's face with expectation.

"T-Try what?" Reimu asked hesitantly.

"One of those couple things! You know, you bending over as I'm resting on your lap and giving me a kiss on my forehea- Ow!"

"Don't be so hasty!" Reimu chastised, her fist having just given Marisa a bonk on the head.

"Ahh… Don't be so stingy ze!" Marisa grinned.

Reimu thought about it for a moment, then suddenly swept Marisa's hair back clear of her face. Marisa, realising that Reimu was seriously considering giving her one, stopped grinning as nervous anticipation filled her instead.

"You… You asked for it," Reimu swept her own hair to the side with her other hand and started to lean forward.

"W-Wait!" Marisa gave a small yelp.

Reimu recoiled irately, "What? ! What now?"

"L-Let's do th-this properly ze…" and with that, Marisa took a breath, then reclined her head with her eyes closed, her quivering pink lips presented before Reimu.

Something like fear and hunger occupied Reimu's heart at once, and with but the slightest hesitation, she leaned in and-

"Ahem."

"Hyah! !" both shrine maiden and witch sprung apart to an upright sitting position an exact metre from each other with blinding speed. Before them stood a seemingly young woman in a long, white dress with a decorated purple tabard over it. Her long blonde hair was tied back and tucked in underneath a white mob cap with red ribbons. Her dark gold eyes had a severe expression about them.

"Y-Yukari? !"

* * *

"Shanghai, wait! Shanghai, stop! Shanghai- Shanghai! !" Alice Margatroid dived forward through the air to catch Shanghai as the doll she had been chasing suddenly fell limp through the sky.

"Ah! Sigh… Just in time…" Alice looked down at the now passive Shanghai in her arms just as Hourai and Koishi caught up from behind. Her malfunction stopped…? "Mmm… I'm going to have to have a look at you later…" She concernedly stroked Shanghai's head, "In any case, where did chasing Shanghai lead me?" she asked Hourai. Hourai pointed down towards the ground, where several meters below was a modest shrine nestled within the trees.

"Hmm…! The Hakurei Shrine…?" Hugging Shanghai close to her, Alice started drifting towards it out of curiosity when she suddenly startled. A tiny figure dressed in red and white clothing was seated on the porch of the shrine. That was the resident shrine maiden, Hakurei Reimu. And next to her…

"Ah! M-Marisa? !" An equally tiny figure decked in black and white was next to Reimu, chatting happily. Instinctively, Alice made a dive out of the sky towards the cover of the trees, Hourai [_and Koishi_] following closely.

"…! I-Idiot! What am I doing? !" Alice slapped herself on her cheek as she peeked from the trees at the two seated on the front porch in the distance, "Why am I hiding from her? ! I-I should just go say hi, right…?" Taking another peek from the trees, the mere sight of a grinning Marisa quickly sent Alice back behind cover, her heart thumping uncontrollably.

Was Marisa always so shining when she smiled…?

"… I really am an idiot aren't I?" Alice asked Hourai, who only stared back attentively at her master. "Sigh… But it'll feel like I'm interrupting her and Reimu… No, no, no…!" Alice slapped her cheeks again, "Hiding behind bushes is not something Alice Margatroid would do! And besides, they're just chatting right? Then I should just go out and greet them!" Taking a deep breath, Alice stood up, then came out from behind the tree-

Marisa was resting her head on Reimu's lap, her golden hair getting fondly stroked by the latter.

Alice froze.

"Did… Did they always have this kind of a relationship…?" she uttered to herself. "Wait… Am I…? Why am I…?" Alice confusedly questioned the disappointment in her heart, a couple of tears making their way down her cheeks unnoticed.

And then Reimu pulled back Marisa's hair and started to lean forward.

"W-Wait…" Alice begged quietly, not entirely sure why she was doing so, "W-Wait a minute…"

And then Yukari appeared.

"…! W-Wait a minute! Wh-What's going on? !"

* * *

"I trust I'm not interrupting anything important?" the ancient youkai Yakumo Yukari before Reimu and Marisa asked flatly, fully aware that she was interrupting something important.

"Yukari! What are you doing here? !" Reimu was on her feet, demanding from Yukari with nothing less than fury. Marisa, who was usually the more easily worked up one, had instead quietly remained seated, a little afraid that Reimu's anger may boil over should any more fuel be added to the fire. Her hand however did instinctively reach for her Hakkero, and she made sure to keep Yukari in her view.

"I merely dropped by to see how my dear Shrine Maiden was doing," Yukari answered.

"Yukari, you troublemaker! What are you playing at-"

"Troublemaker?" Yukari shot back, "_Hakurei Reimu. _I saw you openly flirting with… with this person-"

"She is not 'this person', she is Marisa!"

"Reimu, calm down, she's just toying with us…"

"You forget your duties, Shrine Maiden of Hakurei!" Yukari exclaimed.

"Wh-What…?" Both Reimu and Marisa startled. "M-My duties, what does this-" Reimu began confusedly, but was immediately interrupted by Yukari.

"The powers of Hakurei are passed down through blood! It will do you no good to get romantically involved with a _girl_!" Yukari harshly reminded.

Reimu, shocked and without a counter argument, simply sat back down silently, but now it was Marisa's turn to get up angrily.

"What nonsense is this!" she stretched her hand out to the side in exclamation, "Both Reimu and I have feelings for each other-"

"And I suppose we're to put your insignificant emotions over the peace of _the entirety of Gensokyo_? !" Yukari argued sneeringly.

"T'ch! You hag-"

"Who was it that sought _my_ help to create this haven we call home?" Yukari now directed her needle like words at the downcast Reimu, "Was it not the _Hakurei_ that were sworn to protect this fantasy paradise of ours?"

"That's dirty, Yukari-"

"And now look, suddenly one of their decedents just decides to get up and elope with a girl, without the slightest care for the bloodline!"

"Yukari, stop this! Reimu, don't listen-"

"And here I was just thinking you had proven yourself to be a most worthy successor-"

"Yukari! !" Yukari paused as Marisa had pulled out her Hakkero and aimed it at her head, the Hakkero already charging. Yukari had only a dismissively cold glare for the threat Marisa was wielding against her.

"Stop it... Marisa..." Reimu stood up to face the ancient Youkai of the Boundaries.

"But! But Reimu-"

"Yukari, I've not forgotten," she stared Yukari straight in the eye and simply said, "It's just… Even simple pleasures like this… Being with the one I like…" unable to maintain her composure much longer, Reimu looked down, her shoulders heaving as she fought back tears.

"R-Reimu…" Marisa, at a loss at what to do, let her Hakkero fall to her side.

"My dear shrine maiden," Yukari swooped in and lifted Reimu's face up by the chin with a gentle hand, "I know it is a cruel fate that has befallen you, as it did your mother. Unfortunately, a lot rests on this unkind fate… Were there another way…" she sighed.

"No Yukari… I understand," Reimu said, though her jaws were clenched.

"Then you know that it _has to be _a man, don't you?" Yukari said, "A man has to be your partner, your husband, your lover. Only then will the bloodline that keeps us all safe continue," Yukari let her fingers slide off Reimu's chin as she slowly stepped back with an apologetic expression.

"But… But Reimu…" Marisa began feebly as she saw Reimu close her eyes and accept the harsh reminder given to her.

"Enough from you, Kirisame Marisa," Yukari turned coldly towards the black-white witch, "You have no place here-"

"That's not true!"

Marisa, Reimu and Yukari looked up, startled.

"A-Alice? !" "Alice-san?" "Alice… Margatroid… isn't it…?"

Alice stood squarely in the middle of the courtyard, her eyes narrowed upon Yukari's face, her dolls armed and ready behind her. Beyond Yukari on the porch of the shrine were Reimu and Marisa, still unsure what to make of this sudden development.

"Alice Margatroid, why did you suddenly interfere-"

"Looks to me like you're the one that's interfering!" Alice interrupted Yukari's questioning. Yukari's eyes widened in a glare at the far younger magician's rudeness.

"I'm sorry, Marisa… Reimu-san… but I saw… I saw everything that happened between the two of you," Alice admitted, dealing the two yet another shock, "But I didn't mean to, honest! I-I was just passing by… so…" she hastily added untruthfully, "So… S-Sorry about spying on the two of you like that…"

"I-It's fine, Alice! No need to apologise!" Marisa quickly ran from Reimu's side, past Yukari, to her best friend, "R-Reimu and I were being rather embarrassing, so…"

"Hmph! Even Marisa-san has to admit that Reimu and her behaviour was most inappropriate," Yukari sneered, "Never mind your lack of manners, your arrival is just perfect," Yukari addressed Alice, "So you've seen everything as well huh? What do you think of it? What do you, _a third party_, think of this sort of behaviour between Marisa-san and Reimu?"

Marisa and Reimu…? Th-Third party…? Yukari had not meant anything special by that, yet it struck Alice deeply. That's right… It was clear as the light of day… Marisa…

Marisa likes Reimu. And I… I…! !

Behind her, both Alice's dolls Shanghai and Hourai were trembling, seemingly expressing the feelings of their master. Shanghai, manifesting the rejection of a relationship between Marisa and Reimu, a rejection Alice was trying hard to ignore, to bury deep in her mind. And Hourai, outwardly channeling the same hostility Alice had within towards the detestable Yukari.

"I… I think it is inappropriate," Alice began diplomatically, "But…"

"But I think it is wonderful."

Marisa was dumbstruck. Reimu gasped. Yukari merely blinked. Shanghai, behind Alice, did a double take.

"… Wonderful…?" the Youaki of the Boundaries mouthed to herself unamusedly.

"Yes… Yes it is wonderful," Alice repeated herself more strongly as she faced Yukari again. "This girl," she looked at Marisa, and it was all she could do to stop herself from desiring her, "This sweet young girl and that shrine maiden share a most innocent love," she stated, "That much is obvious to me…" Alice put a hand to her heart, "I do not see why such innocent love cannot be allowed!"

"Alice…" Marisa looked at Alice in wonder. Alice, catching her gaze, gave a small smile.

"Mere words from someone that understands as little as you…" Yukari said coldly, "If it weren't for the continued integrity of the Hakurei bloodline, do you think someone from Makai like you can just move in to Gensoukyo and live here?" she rebuked Alice, "Do not forget that the peace of this region is dependent upon the Great Hakurei barrier, as well as the power, and hence authority, of the current Hakurei shrine maiden!"

"I wouldn't dare," Alice answered back coolly, "So, Yukari-san… Have you been playing matchmaker to _all _the previous shrine maidens?"

"Of course…" Yukari's eyes narrowed, "You may hate me for it, but sometimes people have to play the part of the villain for the greater good!"

"I see… Then I have nothing to say in the face of this reality," Alice said.

"Hmph… Now that this matter is settled-"

"It's just a pity none of your matchmaking was blessed with true love, probably…" Alice added pointedly.

Yukari's eyes widened with anger and shock, "N-Naïve girl!" she exclaimed as she opened a portal behind her, "This matter _is settled_!" she gave Reimu a glance and Marisa and Alice one last glare, before disappearing into the portal.

For a few seconds, no one moved. Then Alice let out a sigh of relief. Ah… She had not expected a confrontation with someone like Yakumo Yukari… But… For Marisa's sake…

"Alice!" Alice jumped as her hand was suddenly clasped tightly by another's. She turned, cheeks blushing, to see Marisa staring at her with grateful eyes.

"Th-Thanks, ze…" Marisa said sincerely.

"A-Ah…! It's no issue at all!" Alice frantically tore her hands out of Marisa's and waved them in front of her face.

"No, honestly, we're sorry for the trouble," Alice turned around to see that Reimu had walked up to them, and was now bowing deeply in apology.

"N-No, it's fine, Reimu-san. I was just speaking up to something I saw and didn't like, that's all," Alice insisted, "Besides…"

_Dammit…_

"… You and Marisa make quite a cute pair."

"A-Ah…! Y-You think so…?" Both Marisa and Reimu became flustered.

_Dammit...!_

"O-Of course!" Alice smiled.

"Th-Thanks…" "Th-Thanks, ze…"

_Dammit…! ! … But…_

"I support you."

"Huh?" went Marisa.

"Huh?" went Reimu.

WHAAAT? ! screamed Shanghai mentally.

"It's like I said, I don't like what I just saw," Alice tried stating casually, "So if someone like Yukari interferes like before again, I just want you to know that you have my support," she offered, "Well… I'd better make a move myself… Come, Shanghai! Hourai! Let's go home," and with a wave of goodbye, Alice left the shrine in a hurry, careful not to let the two see her face.

"… You have a really good friend, you know that right?" Reimu said as she and Marisa watched Alice fly away.

"Yeah, ze… I'd have to make it up to her somehow…" Marisa rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

* * *

"… Yeah… I support you, Marisa…" whispered Alice to herself, even as she rubbed the tears away.

**Chapter End**


	9. Ch 9: Trouble (makers)

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 9: Trouble (makers) **

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, between the line of the fantastic and the mundane, along the Great Hakurei Border, there stood a Japanese-styled mansion. Within the compound, there was a building. In the building, a bedroom. In the bedroom, a portal. From the portal, emerged Yukari. Irritated.

"Ah, ah, ahhh! What the hell was that? !" Yukari grumbled as she carelessly undid her clothes, tore of her cap and untied her hair, tossing dress, hat and hair ribbon to the side. "Why is that stupid Puppeteer from Makai so full of herself? ! How dare she interfere like that!"

"Yukari-sama?"

Yukari whipped around irately, her long blonde hair swishing along, only to see her also blonde kitsune shikigami, Yakumo Ran standing in attendance, a neatly folded robe in her hands. Her attire was similar to the one Yukari had just stripped, except that her tabard was blue and her hat conformed to the shape of her pointy fox ears.

"What is it, Ran?" Yukari stretched listlessly.

"You might want to put these on," Ran stepped up to her master and began draping the robe over Yukari's shoulders, but Yukari pushed it away.

"No need… I'm frustrated! I'm going to sleep like this!" Yukari threw a fit and, summoning a futon out of nowhere, flopped her body onto it.

"Sigh… Yukari-sama, I'm afraid I must insist," Ran tried to approach her master again with the robe.

Yukari turned away, still throwing said fit.

"… Yukari-sama."

"What…?" Yukari grumbled, flopping back to face her shikigami, now squatting before her with robe raised like a fishing net, "What is it…? !"

"You're completely nude, that's what's it," Ran said, composed save for a slight impatient twitch in her nine tails.

Yukari sat up cross-legged and cross-armed, crotch unashamedly bared and her rather full breasts spilling out of her arms, "I'm in my own house!"

Ran sweat-dropped, "Do you not have any dignity in your own home?"

"I still have a nice body, I've got nothing to be ashamed of!"

"You'll set a bad example for Chen," Ran referred to her own bakeneko shikigami, the baby of the family (by relative ages).

"You should be like this more often around her, it's quite liberating-"

"Yukari-sama! !" Ran cried out, "Sigh… Alright… Obviously Yukari-sama has been quite… bothered by something today, so please put on these robes and I'll… gladly listen to whatever happened, okay?"

Yukari looked at Ran like a child undecided, then grudgingly but obediently took the robe from her shikigami's hands.

* * *

"W-Will she be alright?" Koishi, giving a glance towards a motionless and depressed Shanghai on the shelf, asked Hourai concernedly. The three of them were back in Alice's living room, with the owner of the house herself conspicuously absent from her own home.

"I don't know…" whispered Hourai back, equally concerned, "She-"

"ALICE-SAMAAA! !"

"… She's alright, she's just being stupid, that is all-"

"ALICE-SAMAAAAA! ! ! !"

"Oh you little cry baby!" Hourai flew over to the suddenly wailing Shanghai and held her by her shoulders, "Hold yourself together!"

Shanghai looked at Hourai with hugely teary eyes, "I… I never expected Alice-sama to ship Marisa-sama with Reimu-san herself! ! Why did she do th-th-Waaah! !"

Hourai bit down on her lower lip. Although she had hoped against a relationship between Alice-sama and Marisa-san developing, she could not feel happy about the result at all, not with the way Shanghai was crying, "Look… Shanghai…" she began hesitantly but caringly, "I-I'm sorry about your M-Marisa x Alice not working out the way you wanted but what's done is done-"

"Huh…?" Shanghai wiped away her tears and looked up at Hourai, "I-I don't care about that anymore!"

"W-What? !"

"Did you not see how pained Alice-sama looked, Hourai-nee-chan? !" Shanghai's lips started trembling again, "Because of her love for Marisa-sama, she… sob… she decided to sacrifice herself for Marisa-sama's happiness! ! I-It's too sad! Waah! Waaah! !"

Hourai startled with a gasp. That's true… The way Alice-sama herself was deeply hurt… "Shanghai…"

"H-Hourai-nee-chan?"

Hourai stroked the shoulder of her dear sister kindly, "You've won Shanghai… Alice-sama fell for Marisa-san fair and square."

But Shanghai just shook her head sadly and sobbed, "Oh... but what's the use now? She's sidelined herself!"

"Nnngh…! Our poor, innocent Alice-sama… Oh! What a tragic girl she really is!" Hourai stood up and gritted her teeth, "For the sake of her loved one, she decides to relegate herself to a support role, despite the pins that puncture her heart, or the path of broken glass she must tread upon…!" The doll was worshipping Alice again… "This almost makes me want to approve the pairing of Marisa-san and Alice-sama! Hmmm…?"

Hourai gave a moment of thought.

"Almost," she repeated with a small cough.

"E-Er… Th-Thanks, Hourai-nee-chan..." in place of tears, sweat now trickled down the side of Shanghai's head.

Hourai's eyes suddenly shot sideways to glare at Koishi, "You!" she zoomed right up to the satori's nose. Koishi remained patiently smiling, "You! Although I accidentally slipped into one of my Alice-sama worshipping monologues back there, make no mistake that I'm quite serious about this!"

"Yes, Hourai-chan?" Koishi asked serenely.

"Don't address me so familiarly like that! Not after what you've done!" Hourai jabbed a finger in Koishi's direction, "You're partly to blame for Alice-sama's wrecked maiden heart! She became so depressed because she saw Marisa-san and Reimu-san in a relationship, one which _you _set up!"

Koishi smiled for a little while longer, before suddenly becoming solemn and saying to herself, "Yes, that is true…"

"Of course it is- Huh?"

Koishi took in a deep breath, before bowing low before the two doll sisters, "Hourai-chan, Shanghai-chan. I'm really sorry for what happened to your master, Alice-onee-san."

"H-Huh? !" "K-Koishi-san…?"

"I… I thought it'd be fun to spread a little love around," Koishi smiled guiltily, "I do adore watching the antics of innocent lovers… But…" She clenched the left side of her chest, just right next to the blue sphere upon it, "I had never felt such intense pain before…" she said sadly, "It was completely opposite to what I had expected…"

Hourai and Shanghai looked at Koishi with confusion, uncertain of what to say.

"Oh… Allow me to explain," Koishi, seeing the two's looks of confusion, offered, "I'm a satori youkai. In other words, I can read minds. Or… at least I could, before I closed of my mind reading eye," she indicated the blue sphere. "But now I can read the subconscious! I can read people's true feelings instead of their thoughts. And your master… she… she was really, really sad…" Koishi bowed her head apologetically again.

"… O-Of course she was!-" Hourai began yelling, but was stopped by Shanghai, who shook her head and pleaded gently, "Let's forgive Koishi-chan, okay, Hourai-nee-chan? She looks really sorry."

Hourai opened her mouth to say something, but then silently closed it and backed down reluctantly.

"Ah…~ But isn't it more fun like this? Tragedy makes good story!"

All three startled. The voice had come from directly behind Koishi, but only a blank wall greeted them.

"A-Another satori like Koishi-san? !" Hourai exclaimed.

"No! I'm the only satori with powers like these…!" Koishi said nervously.

"Wh-Who's there? !" Shanghai called out.

But no one presented themselves. Instead, a light hearted chuckle merely sang itself through the air.

"Love, tragedy, drama, and beautifully innocent maidens… This is why I love watching people so much! !" crooned the mysterious voice with relish.

* * *

"'None of your matchmaking was blessed with true love' she says! That stupid little doll maker! I'd send you packing back to Makai, just you watch!" Yukari was still fuming at full speed as she remained seated on her futon, her fists waving about the air, her carelessly tied together robe threatening to come undone – again.

Ran sighed. Oh well, it was all part of the job of looking after Yukari-sama… Despite all the frustration that came with it, Ran remained an unquestioningly loyal, and exceedingly patient, shikigami.

"I'm sorry Yukari-sama," she sweat-dropped, "But if you don't begin your story coherently from the start, I'm afraid I won't understand what you're saying," she implored as she remained formally seated parallel to the futon and perpendicular to her master's hissy fit.

"Doesn't _she_ know just exactly _how many _Hakurei shrine maidens I've made happy? !" Yukari muttered to herself angrily, "Oh sure, some of them didn't exactly enter the marriage with love, but they all found love and peace after that, didn't they?"

"Are you by any chance talking about the Hakurei lineage which you've helped prune and maintain?" Ran asked knowingly, and was swiftly swallowed up by Yukari's sudden embrace.

"Yes, my dear beloved shikigami! Oh, Ran! Only you can fully appreciate the hard work I've put in!" Yukari head-locked Ran as she snuggled against Ran's soft fox ears.

"Of course… Yukari-sama has always prioritised the peace and security of Gensokyo over all else," came Ran's patient but muffled words from within Yukari's bosom, "And Yukari-sama has always clearly understood that the cornerstone of this great treasure, this fantasy land we call home, is the Hakurei lineage."

"Yes, yes, my dear Ran! I'm so very proud to call you my shikigami!" Yukari permitted Ran to catch her breath as she held a grudgingly blushing Ran at arm's length, gazing at her with affection. Which swiftly turned to anger. "That stupid _Alice Margatroid_! What does she understand? ! Does she think me a cold, evil youkai that cares not one bit for my dear little shrine maidens! Nothing can be further from the truth!" Yukari declared, "I… I fully understand the sacrifice the poor girls who bear the Hakurei name have had to make in order to protect this land…" she wiped a tear form her eye, "And so of course their happiness would mean the world to me! They… may not like the man I pair them with at first but trust me when I say I pick only the best, most promising candidates to be wedded to them!"

"And indeed, each and every single one of them has had a peaceful and, if unremarkable, loving marriage," Ran added loyally. Maybe if I keep pushing her buttons, she'll stop sooner rather than later…

"That's right!" Yukari continued, crossing her arms huffily, "Interfering _and _insulting me like that… 'Do not see why such innocent love cannot be allowed' she says… Pfft…! What does that stupid puppeteer know? !"

… Or not. Guess I better head this tantrum off now, thought Ran.

"Well, well… I see that you've had quite the hard day, Yukari-sama… Won't you have some dinner and then take a bath to comfort and sooth your body, if not your mind?" suggested Ran.

"Ah… Thank you, Ran," Yukari smiled gently at her shikigami. As she got up however, she seemed lost in thought. Ran, getting up behind her master, looked on curiously, then with alarm, as Yukari's expression transitioned quite suddenly from reminiscent, to silly, to borderline perversion.

"Um… Y-Yukari-sama?" Ran approached cautiously, "May I ask what are you thinking about?"

"O-Oh! Ran! You were here!" Yukari snapped out of it and wiped some drool from her mouth, "Hey, Ran, do you remember Mikoto-chan?"

What's this about now…? Wondered Ran, a little annoyed. Mentally sighing, she decided it best to continue humouring her Yukari-sama.

"Mikoto-chan…? Erm… That was the shrine maiden about… five generations before Reimu-chan, wasn't it?" Ran recalled.

"Yes, yes! Oh! She was the classic example, wasn't she?" Yukari remembered dreamily.

"…? 'Classic example'…?"

"Her marriage, her marriage! Oh! When she and her husband were first introduced to each other, it was pure, pure love at first sight!"

"R-Right..."

"Oh, oh! And do you remember Rika-chan?"

"… That was the shrine maiden two generations after Mikoto-chan, wasn't it?"

"Yes, yes! That little devil! I never knew she had that side to her! Oh, how steamy things got between her and _her _husband!"

"Ahaha… Yes, she always seemed like a proper little girl during her duties, didn't she- Hang on, you were spying on the couple in bed? !"

"And you of course remember Nana-chan, don't you?"

"(I can see where this is going…) N-No… I don't really recall her, sorry…"

"No, of course you wouldn't, I don't blame you, Ran. She was the one that came after Mikoto-chan but before Rika-chan."

"W-Was she…? (No choice but to play along…)"

"Yes, she was. Unlike her predecessor and successor, her marriage wasn't particularly spectacular, but she still had some rather notable intimate moments-"

"Hang on, hang on!" there were very few times when Ran's patience with her master was actually, genuinely tested. It was in danger of being so now. "D-Do you mean to tell me… That you remember _all _the previous Hakurei shrine maidens by the characteristics of their _marriages?"_

"… Isn't a good old fashioned 'girl meets boy' romance just lovely?" Yukari asked of Ran.

"I thought you were most concerned with the purity and powers of the Hakurei lineage…" Ran asked of Yukari, temple twitching.

"…! O-Of course that's most important! That goes without saying!" Yukari said hastily, "But while we're hard at the matchmaking… Ehehehe… We might as well make it a sweet and memorable one for all parties, right…?" Yukari daydreamed, once again on the edge of decency, "I-I mean we might as well make it happy! Yes… Since the partnerships are… arranged, it _is my duty _to make it a happy one! I'm only doing it for the good of the Hakurei shrine maiden," Yukari insisted to Ran.

"… You've still got a silly grin on your face, Yukari-sama," Ran pointed out, her fox ears parallel to her eyebrows, which formed an unbroken, straight line over her eyes.

"I-I'm going to have dinner!" Yukari spun around and made for the door. But just as she rounded the corner out of sight, Ran, still deadpanning, could hear her mutter, "Just you watch, my dear Reimu-chan… I won't let just any _girl _have you… You're happiness shall be found through classic romance with a man...!"

"… Sigh… I'm sorry, Reimu-chan…" Ran apologised to the now empty bedroom, "But it looks like Yukari will remain an annoyance to your family for a little longer…" sighing again, Ran left the room, still an unquestioningly loyal and exceedingly patient shikigami for another day.

* * *

"... Why are you here?" Patchouli Knowledge addressed the dimness of her grand library.

"Are~ are~… And what's wrong with me being here?" the dimness answered back in the voice of Remilia Scarlet.

"You've been spending an abnormal amount of time studying, I've observed…" Patchouli answered.

"And what amount of time would amount to being abnormal?" the sounds of flapping wings grew louder, and when Patchouli looked up from the study table, Remilia was already there, perched on top of a shelf as usual.

"Any amount more than a second," Patchouli defined.

"How cruel! I'll have you know that I'm a well read vampire-"

"Manga don't count. And even Flandre is better read."

Remilia shut up. (Flandre: "I'm always kept in the mansion, so I have nothing to do…")

"I have been studying…" Remilia pouted.

Patchouli ignored her.

"I _really _have been studying…" Remilia pouted even more.

Patchouli looked up and gave her an obliging grin, with Remilia remaining sulky.

"So… How's your progress with Alice?" Remilia asked.

"You expect something to happen in just a few days…?" Patchouli said, "I haven't even seen her since her last visit anyways…"

"That's because you've been avoiding her!" Remilia pointed an accusatory finger down from high up on the shelf.

"Idiot Remi! I can't just bother Alice whenever I want!" Patchouli said shortly, "B-Besides… I don't know how _she _feels about me… so…"

"Idiot Patchy! You're not being aggressive enough!" Remilia retorted, "How do you expect to start _anything _if you remain cooped up here in the library? !"

"I-I'll find an opportunity, I promise! Don't you bother about me!" Patchouli turned away, blushing impatiently, "Th-These things take time…"

"You should be in bed with her by now! !" Remilia dodged a fireball.

"_I said these things take time_! ! _And I'm not going to bed with her_! !" Patchouli shrieked.

"Well, make it take less time! !" Remilia dodged a firestorm.

Patchouli wheezed, out of breath from having launched so many aggressive spells.

"Look…" Remilia began begging for divine retribution, "I've been scouring your library for the past few days, and I came across a classic novel where there was a 'Kingdom of Women'. And apparently, there is this river that can help women conceive with another woman- Pichuun~!"

Graze failed.

Patchouli had a serene look of satisfaction as a grilled bat came drifting to the ground, leaving delicious wafts of smoke in its trail.

"… I-I just wanted to be a godmother…" the grilled snack croaked as it lay crumpled on the floor.

"… Yes… Somehow I figured you'd still be hanging on to that stupid idea of yours…" Patchouli remarked with disdain to the grilled snack.

Suddenly, a knock from across the great halls of the library sounded. Swiftly, Patchouli's familiar Koakuma answered the door, revealing Izayoi Sakuya on the other side.

"Patchouli-sama, Remilia-ojou-sama," she addressed the two from across the library, "I'm sorry for interrupting, but there is a guest for you," Sakuya stepped aside and ushered in a doll-like, peridot-eyed girl. Patchouli gasped.

"A-Alice?" she greeted with a blush of her cheeks.

"H-Hello…" Alice, biting on her lower lip, greeted back hesitantly.

**Chapter End**


	10. Ch 10: Emotions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Emotions**

Two young witches sat about opposite each other about a large, heavy reading table, the surrounded by the vast dimness that was the Scarlet Devil Mansion's library and its silence. Nothing stirred save for the regular flipping of pages. Sakuya had taken leave. Remilia, surprisingly considerate, had left them alone. Koakuma knew not to disturb when guests were being entertained, and had retreated far away to her work in a distant corner of the library.

Nothing stirred. Except the hand of Alice Margatroid, flipping pages she was looking at but not reading. Except Patchouli Knowledge, hand completely still upon her unread book, heart thumping hard in her chest.

S-Suddenly… The opportunity I had been looking for… Wh-Why so suddenly? ! Patchouli was screaming mentally in her head. Me, alone with Alice…! No… Th-This is strange! This feeling is strange! ! I had never had a problem with being alone with Alice before…!

But… But then I wasn't in love with her either…

"Patchouli…?"

"Hii! !" Patchouli let out a squeal of surprise, made the mistake of looking at the doll-like girl before her straight in her pretty green eyes, and clamped her mouth more to prevent her heart from leaping out than to stifle another squeal.

Alice's eyebrows furrowed. "Hmm… I knew something was off about you…"

"N-No! Nothing's off-"

"It is!" Alice got up and walked over to Patchouli's side. Laying a hand on Patchouli's forehead (It was all Patchouli could do to stop from Royal-Flaring), she asked concernedly, "Patchouli, are you unwell?"

"Ah… Aha… No… I'm fine, really," Patchouli felt her anxiety melt away suddenly, and she smiled appreciatively as she gently pushed away Alice's hand. Alice… Alice is her same sweet, kind self. Heh… I really am such an idiot to be so uneasy…

But…

Alice grinned in response, but just as she was about to return to her seat, Patchouli stopped her by gripping on to her wrist.

"Eh? Patchouli-"

"But what about you?" Patchouli inquired, "Are _you _troubled by something?"

* * *

"_A-Alice…?"_

"_I-I'm sorry for intruding on you so suddenly like this… Mind if I stay here and do some reading for awhile…?"_

* * *

"…"

"You didn't even bring your dolls with you."

"I- Patchouli… Patchouli, I'm fine."

"Alice, please, if there is anything, you can tell me-"

"Patchouli, I said I'm fine," Alice quickly snapped her wrist back from Patchouli's grip, "Really, don't worry about me," she added with an apologetic look as she returned to her seat.

Patchouli studied Alice's expression for a little longer while Alice was painfully obviously trying to avert her eyes. After awhile, Patchouli sighed. It seems like I'm not as close to her as I would like to be… "Alright… I won't probe if you don't want me to… but… I-I'm here, just so you know…" Patchouli offered, before retreating to her book. Not that she could really read it, what with her mind troubled by the issue of what was troubling Alice…

Unbeknownst to Patchouli, Alice was watching her curiously, almost (Patchouli would have fainted if she knew) longingly. She had so many things that she wanted to confide to… to someone…! And it was certain that she had come here hoping that her good friend Patchouli could be that someone… But…

"H-Hey… Patchouli…?"

Patchouli looked up expectedly. "What is it?" she asked Alice, who had apparently returned to reading her book.

Flipping a page as nonchalantly as she could, Alice said, "… I've heard some pretty… interesting going-ons in Gensokyo recently…" Alice nearly kicked herself. 'Going-ons'…? Is that how _I'm_ choosing to describe what happened…?

Urk... It's obvious this is what's troubling you, Alice… Patchouli sighed mentally, but decided for the sake of the dear girl to play along, "Really? What's happened then?" she asked conversationally.

"Erm… Word is…" 'Word is'…? "Word is that Marisa…"

Alice's tongue got caught on itself. Patchouli's thoughts froze. Why is she bringing up Marisa…?

"Word is that Marisa has a crush on someone, did you know that? Giggle… Imagine that! Our silly Marisa, actually capable of being a maiden!" Alice was bludgeoning herself in the heart over and over with each giggle she gave. Wh-Why am I telling all these lies…? !

"And who does she have a crush on?" Patchouli asked coolly. Alice met Patchouli's brilliantly violet eyes and gasped. She could feel her façade slowly melt underneath their glare…

"W-Well… You wouldn't have won anything even if you guessed it… Haha…" Alice made one last ditch attempt at passing this off as gossip, "It's no surprise, seeing how they've been together for so long…"

"… Who?"

"… I-It really is no surprise-"

"Who?"

"… Reimu…" Alice could hardly stand to look up, "It's Reimu…"

"… And how do you feel about it, Alice?"

Alice's head sank lower. "H-" Oh… My throat's dry… "H-How do I f-feel about this…?" she said in a quivering voice, not that she was aware of it, "I… I…!" Alice looked up with a determinedly forced smile, "It's about Marisa, Patchouli… It's about my good friend… And she's found love, so I'm happy she's happy-"

"Then why are you crying? !"

"Haa…!" tears flowed past the corners of her smile, following in the streams made by those long left upon Alice's face ever since she first started talking about Marisa. She just did not know…

"You've been crying this whole time! !"

…That she had been crying.

"Alice…" Patchouli was still on her feet after having first yelled at Alice, "You like her, don't you?" she confronted shakily, "It's painfully obvious-"

"What… What are you so angry about-"

"Alice! I'm… I'm angry because of what you've chosen to do!" Patchouli said exasperatedly.

"What… What I've chosen to do? Patchouli what do you-"

"Alice…! You… You plan on supporting her, don't you? !" Patchouli grew more agitated, "You plan on supporting Marisa…"

A moment of silence. "Yes…" Alice admitted after awhile, "Yes, I plan to support her-"

"Even though you like her yourself? Despite that, you'll push yourself away-"

"You weren't there, Patchouli!" now Alice was standing eye to eye with the purple clad magician, looking just as furious, "You didn't see how pure Marisa's love for Reimu was! I… I've never seen Marisa so happy, or so loving in my life! I… What are you so worked up about anyway? !" Alice accused Patchouli, "This doesn't concern you!" she threw a low one.

And immediately regretted it.

"… Doesn't concern? ! … D-" Patchouli looked down, mumbling to herself.

"Patchouli… Patchouli I'm sorry…" Alice began shakily, "Patchouli, I'm sorry… I'm sorry! You're my friend, and I…"

"I… I don't mind…" Patchouli murmured.

"P-Patchouli…?"

"Because I love you," Patchouli looked up, smiling sadly.

* * *

Time froze.

"L-Lov- P-Patchouli…? !"

"That's right… I really like you, Alice…" Patchouli let out a sigh, as if a great weight had been removed from her chest with the confession.

"And that's why I don't like the sight of you tormenting yourself like that! !" she glared seriously at her crush.

Alice remained wordlessly seated in her chair, her flushed face, partially hidden by her bangs, a conflict of emotions.

"I don't get it… You like Marisa so much, so why do this to yourself? !" Patchouli gritted her teeth.

A giggle.

"H-Huh…? A-Alice! I'm being serious-"

"Haha… Isn't that what you're doing?" Alice looked up at Patchouli with an embarrassed grin.

"Eh…?"

"No… It's not… You're worse…" Alice could only bite down on the silly smile on her face, "You just confessed to me, yet immediately you're rooting for me to be with Marisa… Haha… Who does that…?" Alice's hands tightened on her skirt, her head dipping between her shoulders as she felt her face become more heated with embarrassment.

Patchouli stood before Alice, suddenly aware of her own mistaken actions, "I… I… Th-That's because I…!"

"But I'm glad you feel the same way I do…" Alice peeked at Patchouli sheepishly through the fringe of her golden hair.

Patchouli reeled backwards, momentarily unarmed, but quickly regained her posture, "But! But you won't be happy!"

"And you?" Alice shot straight through Patchouli's heart.

Patchouli sat back down. Flustered, frustrated and unable to properly word her emotions, her hands instinctively reached for her shield that was her book, and she began to read the contents of the content page in earnest, as if studying it was the most important thing she had ever done. Alice's eyes lingered on Patchouli for awhile, and a small, guilty smile adorning her lips, before she too returned to her books.

Silence ensued, and at a glance from a distance, it would seem to an observer that the two were merely sharing a reading table like always, with no evidence of anything having happened in the last few moments.

"You know… I'm really am glad you told me all that, that you didn't keep it to yourself…" Alice remarked serenely a few minutes later, a finger aimlessly tracing about on the page she was on.

"Oh…?" Patchouli's cheeks tinted red, but she too otherwise remained casual.

"I'd have never had the courage to confess my true feelings like that…" Oh…! That silly grin of mine just won't go away…!

Patchouli's eyes looked up, "What really happened, Alice?"

"I didn't hear about Marisa's crush on Reimu, I…" Alice returned Patchouli's gaze for a bit before glancing away.

"… I saw it."

Patchouli's lips parted slightly, "Was she…"

"It was mutual," Alice now had her cheek propped on an arm, her gaze directed at the library walls and far beyond it. Catching sight of Patchouli's difficult expression from the corner of her eye, Alice turned back to her with a chuckle, "Sigh… Oh, I thought it was the sweetest thing I had seen in awhile…"

Patchouli shook her head with a sigh of her own, "… Alice…"

"Yukari tried to interfere though," added Alice.

Patchouli startled a little, "What…? !" What is with this sort of development…?

"They stood up against her," Alice reclined back into her seat, with her eyes closed, "Haa… I swear… _You _just came out with your feelings like that, and Marisa just crossed words with that Gap Youkai… Everyone seems to have the courage to do their own thing…"

"… Alice…" a small smile sprouted. "Heh… So you _would _prefer it to be _you _next to Marisa instead of Reimu, right?" Patchouli grinned knowingly.

Alice's eyes widened before she looked away, pouting, "And what of it…? You say you want me to seek Marisa for my happiness, but _you _would prefer _me_ to choose _you_, right?"

"Yup," came Patchouli's straightforward answer. A second later her poker face was smashed to bits, "Oh I can't believe just how much of my feelings I've shared with you!" she exclaimed as she had her burning face buried within her hands, "If Remi sees this, I'm so dead…! !"

"Y-Yeah… I never expected that we can be so calm, talking about things like this…" Alice scratched her cheek sheepishly, "So… Why do you like me?" Alice leaned forward, smiling.

"Hii…! W-Well… You're pretty, and you're kind and gentle, and composed and refined and…" Patchouli's murmurings grew less and less audible as her embarrassment grew more and more.

"Hmm… Why is 'pretty' the first trait that comes to mind?" Alice raised an eyebrow, "Not that I'm displeased about it," she giggled as Patchouli gave another yip.

"Hmph! So what about you? Why Marisa?" Patchouli asked in retaliation.

"… She's an interesting character," Alice's other cheek was now propped on her other arm in thought, "She's loud and reckless and silly, but she's bright and cheery and surprisingly caring… Ah… Just hear me go on like this…!" Alice looked away awkwardly, "And to think that just yesterday, I thought of her as nothing but a good friend…"

Patchouli startled, "J-Just yesterday? !"

"Aha… Yeah, it's rather sudden, isn't it…?" Alice shrugged her shoulders, blushing, "Oh, I'm so confused...!"

"N-No…! I… I only started having feelings for you recently too so… so I know how that feels…" Patchouli admitted, red faced as well. The two glanced at each other before quickly turning away, the awkwardness between them becoming unbearable.

"… Ah!"

…! The two young magicians looked up, and their jaws hit the table. Up there, close to the ceiling, next to an open window, fighting to regain her balance on a broom was without a doubt…

"M-Marisa…? !" "Marisa…"

"I… Um… H-Hey guys…"

… Was one very, very shocked looking Kirisame Marisa.

**Chapter End**


	11. Ch 11: Confrontations

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Confrontations**

Shanghai, Hourai and Komeiji Koishi stood tensed before an empty wall, a foreboding feeling filling the warm cottage of Alice Margatroid. Silence wrapped around them, yet their ears felt as if sinister laughter stained the air.

"Sh-Show yourself, you coward!" Hourai shouted at the blank wall.

"This is A-Alice-sama's residence… No trespassing is allowed!" Shanghai glanced about her nervously.

Komeiji's eyes were closed, as if trying to sense out her hidden foe. Before long, she opened her eyes and announced uneasily, "You can hide, you can stay quiet, but you know I can sense you, right…?"

Hourai and Shanghai looked at Koishi is realisation. That's right… she's a satori…! Even if albeit an unusual one… Following her gaze, they too looked up at a spot high upon the blank wall, near where the ceiling was.

"Ara~ ara~ I almost forgot that the infamous Closed Eyes of Love, Komeiji Koishi was here…" came the mysterious, sly voice again. The three of them flinched. The voice was so seductive sounding that they could almost feel it literally lick their skin.

"So… If you can tell where I am… Why not attack me… _Koishi-chan_…" a wicked grin behind the voice was not too hard to imagine.

"… I wouldn't want to risk anything in the house of my friends," Koishi replied, "And besides… Wickedness…" Koishi dropped cold sweat, "Your heart is so full of it it's almost nauseating…"

"Ah~… Ahahahaha~…! Oh, you really can read feelings, can't you? ! Such a delightful ability~! I must really learn it from you someday…" Slowly, what seemed to be a hole opened up upon the spot on the wall the three were staring at.

"…! A… A portal…? !" Hourai exclaimed.

"P-Port- Don't tell me… The Gap Youkai Yakumo Yukari-sama? !" Shanghai panicked.

"No! It's just a hole!" Koishi pointed out.

And sure enough, beyond the cleanly circular hole in the wall could be seen the outside foliage surrounding the cottage. At the centre of this hole appeared to be a large, ornate stick. And from the bottom of the hole…

"Waah! !" screamed all three in surprise.

"Hi there!" … suddenly emerged a smiling, youthful woman, face framed by long, eccentric blue hair, equally blue eyes gleaming at them with predatory anticipation. Her attire was oriental in nature but not of this land, consisting of a blue dress and white open vest, and about her floated a shawl of white sheer, free of gravity. The hole behind her closed up, as if it were never there. And when she tucked the large ornate stick behind her head, her blue hair moved and did itself up into two neat hair loops, securing the hair stick in place.

"You probably don't recognise me, seeing as I'm still new about here… but my name's Kaku Seiga!" the blue haired girl chimed, "… And you, _Koishi-chan_… Oh~! How much more lovely you are than I imagined!" the face suddenly filled up with an unhealthy amount of desire.

"Y-You!" Hourai flew before Koishi, lance in arm, with Shanghai following her example.

"That petite body… those silvery hair… that constant expression of wonder in your eyes… It's enough for me to want to spirit you away!" the girl called Seiga flew down straight before Koishi, completely ignoring the two dolls guarding her.

"You! I'm warning you! Stay away- Ack? !" As Hourai and Shanghai moved to attack the intruder, they suddenly found themselves immobilized, and fell to the floor, limp as dolls. P-Paper talismans…? ! Since when…? ! One each for the two dolls, they had suddenly appeared upon their bodies, imprisoning them.

"…! Hourai-chan! Shanghai-chan!" Koishi called out.

"Koishi-san!" the two otherwise paralyzed dolls cried back with difficulty.

"Ooh… And look what we have here…" Seiga turned her eyes to the two dolls lying powerless on their backs, "Real. Living. Dolls." Shanghai and Hourai dreaded the outstretched hand making to grab them-

"…!" Suddenly, Seiga jumped back, waving the empty air about her frantically and wielding danmaku against unseen foes. Shanghai and Hourai, confused, looked over and saw Koishi's face full of focus. Immediately, they understood that this was her doing.

And so did Seiga. "T'ch… I get it now…" Seiga had already snapped from her delusion, her composure regained.

"… You're pretty tough, huh…" Koishi admitted uneasily, "You saw through it almost immediately…"

"Ahaha… Small trick, small trick…" Seiga embarrassedly waved away what she did, "You were hardly trying back there, although I'd like to think I did not spend the last millennium wasting away…" she gave Koishi a friendly smile, "Still…" her eyes felt all over Koishi with deep interest, sending chills down the latter's spine, "Manifesting indigo roses in my subconscious to attack me? You're not just pretty… You're classy and tasteful too!" she clapped her hands together in delight, "For that, I think I owe you the release of your friends."

Just as suddenly as they had appeared, the talismans on Shanghai and Hourai disappeared, and the two hastily though unsteadily made their way back to Koishi's side, taking up cautiously defensive stances. Seiga continued smiling familiarly, as if she were before old friends.

For the longest time in awhile, Koishi gritted her teeth in irritation. Just what does this lady want…?

* * *

Patchouli and Alice were still in the library, staring up at the figure of a witch still perched on her broom high up in the air.

"M-Marisa…? !" Alice gasped.

"Marisa…" Patchouli stated.

"… Um… If this is a bad time, I… I'll take my leave," Marisa awkwardly made to leave through the window which she had entered. Immediately, Alice moved to stop her, but was cut across by Patchouli first.

"Marisa, there is no need for you to go," Patchouli invited Marisa to join them.

Marisa glanced back, but did not answer, nor move away from the window.

"… You… You heard everything, right…?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"… Yeah…" Marisa pulled the brim of her hat over her embarrassed face.

"Then-"

"Then all the more you should come down here," once again, Patchouli cut across Alice.

"P-Patchouli-"

"We should talk about such things, it's the proper way to resolve them," Patchouli met Alice's stare of plea unflinchingly, before turning to Marisa, "If we don't, then things may be hidden but never resolved," she declared. "And… and I'll hate for our friendships to fray…" Patchouli added softly to herself.

Marisa, still hovering near the window with her back to them, hesitated before saying, "… I… I know… that's why I should leave for now-"

"Oh this is silly! I'm coming in!" a forth voice was heard coming from outside the window. Immediately, Marisa panicked. "No! No, don't come in!" she reached out, as if to physically block the window.

But no heed was given, and before long, it was the figure of a certain miko that joined the witch at the window.

"… Hakurei…" "Reimu-san…? !"

* * *

"What do I want?" Seiga echoed the question Koishi had demanded of her as she sat cross legged in a nice, comfy chair she had levitated over from the corner. Koishi sat before her on the couch, Shanghai and Hourai flanking her, although she was far from at ease. This foe… is dangerous, was what Koishi's subconscious was telling her. And in any case, talking to her would glean the most information…

"Hmm… What I really want to see is the raw, _raw _emotions of people," Seiga answered dreamily, "I really, _really_ find people interesting! Not so much because they're lives are worthwhile… but because despite the insignificance of their existence, they can create so much drama!" she venerated.

Koishi's frown deepened, "'Despite the insignificance of their existence'…? Koishi doesn't like that…"

"Ah… _You really are a loving child, aren't you_?" Seiga smiled. Koishi tensed further. "No, no, you are mistaken!" said Seiga, "I _admire _people. Think about it! People live for, what, less than a hundred years? Compared to beings like myself, who have seen centuries, their lives are fleeting! And yet… they're no less colourful! Isn't that amazing? ! Isn't that what drew you, a formerly reclusive, _persecuted_ satori youkai, to the surface? Because of all the wonderful emotions there were to feel despite the hate and discrimination?"

Shanghai and Hourai looked up and gasped. Koishi… Koishi-san was absolutely pale with shock.

"… You…" Koishi uttered, her face convulsing.

"If you didn't know me better, you'd mistake me for one of your own," Seiga cheerily smiled.

"_Stop fooling around with us! !" _Hourai was upon Seiga in a split second, lance in her right hand and a gleaming red light in her left. It was the first time she had activated her laser against another without her master's command. Shanghai meanwhile had swiftly offered Koishi a glass of water to calm down with.

"… Thank you, Shanghai-chan," Koishi said gratefully, "Hourai-chan, thank you as well, but its okay… You can't defeat her anyway."

"No… but that won't stop me from trying!" Hourai continued glaring at Seiga.

"That's right!" Shanghai was now hovering before Koishi and confronting Seiga too, "You just hurt a friend of ours!"

Koishi gazed on for a moment before frantically wiping her eyes before tears could come to them, "… You two…" she said emotionally.

Seiga, sighing defeat, raised her two hands at the side of her head to show compliance, "Sorry, Koishi-chan. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."And then she gave a smile that was free of wickedness, although the others did not see. "You see… This is exactly what I was talking about," she mumbled to herself.

"Alright! We've wasted enough time on you!" Hourai flew up Seiga's face, "Let's get straight to the point!"

"Yes, let's!" Seiga punned as she stared down the tip of Hourai's lance.

"Y-You!" Hourai jabbed the lance towards Seiga's amused nose, "Was the planting of the book on the table your doing?"

"You mean the book which… Marisa-san drew Alice-san in?" Seiga asked.

"I'm doing the questioning here! And… yes, I am talking about that book… Ah! Just tell us if it was you!" Hourai impatiently demanded of Seiga.

"It was," Seiga readily admitted.

"And did you do so knowing it would lead to the events at the Hakurei shrine?" Hourai pressed on.

"… Now~ now~ that's a false accusation," Seiga denied the charges, "Yes, I did plant the book, but… as I recall, it was Koishi-chan that set Reimu-san up with Marisa-san… And it was Shanghai-chan that went racing to the Hakurei shrine, leading Alice-san to witness what she saw."

Koishi and Shanghai both sank their heads in guilt. Hourai, seeing this, frantically flew over to them and said bracingly, "C-Come on! It wasn't you two's fault! You couldn't have possibly known this would have happened!"

"And I could?" Seiga monotonously protested from her arm chair, "Aren't you being biased towards me, Hourai-chan? Not even I could have strung together that many coincidences… That's probably someone else's ability…"

Hourai rounded upon Seiga angrily, "Y-You!"

* * *

"You!" Patchouli started angrily at the Hakurei shrine maiden before her, Reimu and a highly reluctant Marisa having descended to ground level with Alice and Patchouli. Marisa averted eyes guiltily, while Alice was trying to calm an incensed Patchouli down. But Patchouli would not have her confrontation with Reimu halted, "Red-White… You choose a bad time to butt in…!"

"And…?" Reimu responded coolly, before being suddenly dragged away by the arm by Marisa.

"What's wrong with you? !" Marisa hissed at Reimu, and for a moment Reimu had an apologetic look in her eyes. The same was happening with Alice and Patchouli.

"I'm sorry Alice, Patchouli," Marisa apologised, "It was my idea to bring Reimu here, but I did not know…" her eyes fell upon Alice.

"N-No Marisa… There was no way you could have possibly known so… so it's not your fault…" Alice could not meet Marisa's eyes though.

"Why did you even bring Reimu-san here?" Patchouli steely demanded of Marisa.

"And why can't I be here? !" Reimu's made to approach Patchouli angrily, but she was once again restrained by Marisa.

"Sorry… My big idea…" Marisa gave a glance at Patchouli, before her eyes once again tried to reach Alice's, "I… I just wanted to really thank Alice for what she did for Reimu and I the day before…" she said gratefully. "I… I was just about to tell Patchy about it myself, so I…" she looked down guiltily at Alice's feet.

"Well… Since you're here already… Thank you," Marisa said wholeheartedly to Alice.

Alice looked up with tearful eyes, "Oh, Marisa!" and all restraint was lost as she threw herself into Marisa's arms. Marisa, though stunned, could not help but wholeheartedly return the hug. Patchouli had an expression of pain for Alice on her face, and Reimu looked as if she was holding back jealousy.

"I-I'm sorry Alice… I like you too… It's… It's just not…" Marisa apologised as had her face buried in Alice's shoulder.

"I know…! _I know_!" Alice cried into Marisa's hair, "I… I only wished I had realised these feelings earlier…! That I had been able to _tell you earlier_!"

Four figures were gathered in the dimness of the library at that moment, yet only the sounds of one were heard.

* * *

"Y-You!" Back in Alice's home, Hourai had shouted at Seiga in anger.

Seiga looked at Hourai blankly, then glanced at the dejected Shanghai and Koishi before sighing, "Now, now… If it'll lessen your guilt, I did plan to ship Alice x Marisa fully knowing that Koishi was shipping Marisa x Reimu." Seeing confused looks from the others, she sighed again and clarified, "Meaning I purposely planted the seeds of conflict- Geez, saying it makes me sound like a villain…"

"Aren't you one?" Hourai raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you do that?" Koishi asked.

"It's like I said, I find love greater when there is tragedy and drama involved," Seiga reiterated, "People usually come forth with the purest of feelings only when their loved ones are under threat of walking out of their lives. If two people with feelings for each other have a barrier between them but can continue to be close to each other, they'd rather the barrier remain so as not to disturb the status quo. True love will never blossom! Or if it does, it takes as long as a bamboo to flower… By which time it has only enough time to last as long as one…" Seiga deadpanned.

"Th-That's no justification for what you've done!" Hourai retorted.

"Hourai-nee-chan is right! Alice-sama's the one that's heartbroken!" Shanghai said angrily.

"Ah~ What's done is done… I can't take it back," Seiga reclined in her chair, "Besides… There are greater plots underway…" she warned cryptically.

"…! Wh-What? !" Hourai, Shanghai and Koishi gasped in disbelief, "Th-There are others hatching plots like yours? !"

"What, you can't possibly think that a lowly hermit such as me could be the mastermind of anything in Gesokyo now, do you?" Seiga stated, "I'm just a Stage 4 boss after all…"

"Who? ! Who's going to put Alice-sama in more harm? !" Hourai flew right in the face of Seiga, "If you know anything, you've got to tell us!"

"… Hmmm…" Seiga gave some thought, then glanced at the cute little anxious faces of Hourai, Shanghai and Koishi. A wicked smile came to her face.

"Please! We're begging you!" behind Hourai, Shanghai asked of Seiga desperately.

The wicked smile widened. Seiga was… Seiga was disappearing into the ground…? !

"Wait! _Wait_! ! Where are you going? ! Stop right there!" But it was too late. Hourai's lance pierced only thin air. Seiga had vanished through the floor of the house, leaving behind only the whispers of a mean giggle.

"Arrrgh! ! What is up with her? !" cursed Hourai, "For a moment I thought she was going to help us!"

"What sort of youkai was she anyway? She was rather odd…" Shanghai observed.

"She called herself a hermit…" Koishi recalled, "I wonder what that is… Hmm? What is this?" walking over to the chair that Seiga had moments ago occupied, she picked up a white envelope.

"Eh? Did she leave that behind?" Shanghai and Hourai closed up to Koishi's sides as the latter opened it, retrieving a white card embossed with gold borders from within.

"An invitation card…? An invitation to what- H-Hyaah? !" Hourai, Shanghai and Koishi stumbled back into the couch, their jaws dropping, the card slipping from Koishi's petrified hand to the ground.

It read:

_You are hereby invited as a denizen of Gensokyo to the "Match them up for the betterment of the region! Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings!" conference and tea (snacks provided but not free)._

_Venue: Hakugyokurou Main Hall_

_Host: Saigyouji Yuyuko_

_Presiding Chairperson: Shiki Eiki Yamaxanadu _

**Chapter…**

* * *

"S-Stupid Hourai-nee-chan! This all started with you! You were the one that set up that wire trap in the library!" Shanghai blindly fretted.

"Idiot Shanghai! How can it be my fault when the trap failed! And you were going to do the same!" Hourai hit back.

"That aside… Th-This has gotten rather huge, hasn't it…?" Koishi chuckled nervously.

"That I would agree," Seiga said, sitting next to the three of them, sipping tea.

"WHAT? ! YOU'RE STILL HERE? !" the other three turned at her in shock.

"... Why? Why not?" Seiga sipped more tea.

"Hey listen, you!" Hourai advanced on her menacingly, "You've got a lot of explaining-"

"Ah… That's all good and well but we're all out of time here!" Seiga held out her palms before her cheerfully.

"No! W-Wait-"

"Sorry girls! Next chapter!" smiled Seiga.

… **End**


	12. Ch 12: A Public Affair

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: A Public Affair**

"Um… Are you feeling better, Alice?" Marisa asked gently. The two were seated side by side on separate chairs set against the reading table, turned outwards from the table instead of in for more breathing space. Patchouli sat a small distance away to Alice's side on the right, watching the two intently, Marisa with tired envy and Alice with concern.

"Y-Yes Marisa… Sorry for that unbecoming display…" Alice rubbed away at her still reddened eyes.

The sound of a clattering tray resounded about the library, and from the hallway approached Reimu, carrying a tray laden with hot tea.

"I've told your familiar Koakuma to leave us alone, along with the fairy maids, as you asked," she informed Patchouli, "I'm… also not used to brewing English tea so I hope it's not too bad," she said as she put the tray down on the table just behind Marisa. "Here," taking a cup, she offered Alice.

"Thank you, Reimu-san," Alice took the cup appreciatively, and Reimu went around with the tray offering the rest of the cups to Patchouli and Marisa, before taking one herself and sitting a small distance to Marisa's side on the left.

Thus, the four sat quietly sipping their tea. Then an audible sigh came from the far right. Reimu, Marisa and Alice glanced up.

"Sigh… How did it become like this…?" Patchouli was looking up and lamenting to herself.

"… Patchouli?" Marisa asked.

"We were just a group of good friends a few days ago, enjoying each other's company…" Patchouli closed her eyes, before turning to look at the others, "Now… Now we're a mess…"

The others looked down into their tea cups, downcast.

Reimu chuckled and glanced over at Patchouli, "Yeah… I mean, you love Alice, Alice loves Marisa…"

"And Marisa loves you, don't leave that out…" Alice added wryly, with a hint of bitterness.

"All we need now is for Reimu to love Patchouli and it'll be a circle ze…" Marisa said with half-hearted humour.

The others glared at her suddenly with full-hearted disapproval.

"S-Sorry, bad joke…" Marisa cringed.

The four turned to their tea cups again.

"You know, the reason why I butted in earlier…" Reimu suddenly began saying, "Was because… well…" she furrowed her eyebrows, "Don't you think Patchouli-san's right? You _are in _a mess."

"… We know…" droned the three witches in love.

"No, no… I mean…" Reimu sought the right words a little, "Don't… Don't you think it's a little odd for everyone to suddenly be in love with everyone else? !" she elaborated.

Everyone glanced at everyone else.

"Eh?" Alice turned to Marisa for clarity, "But weren't you in love with Reimu for a long time? I mean…" her face dared not but her heart brightened up by a margin, "I… I assumed that was the case when I saw you two…"

"Ah… Aha… Yeah, well… It _was_ a… rather recent development actually, ze…" Marisa scratched the back of her head apologetically. Alice was starting to look a lot more cheerful while Reimu was disproving of Marisa apologising for having a relationship with her.

Patchouli was grim though. "Well… I know for certain that me falling in love was, although I hate to admit it, a set up," she revealed.

The others looked at her stunned, "Who did it?"

"Remi… that idiot…" grumbled Patchouli.

"Wait…" Reimu was seriously frowning by now, "Alice-san, how exactly did you come to have feelings for… for Marisa?" she managed to ask.

"Hyah? !" Alice jumped at the sudden question, "D-Do I have to answer that now? !" she looked at Marisa, whose face reflected her own flushed one. Patchouli looked displeased.

"Yes! This is important!" Reimu demanded shortly, "I… I suspect something…"

"But… But Reimu-san-"

"Please just answer it!"

"Well… I saw your illustrated scrapbooks, Marisa… And… And I thought it was a wonderful thing…" Alice looked at Marisa blushingly, "I… I guess you can say I fell in love with your work… Haha… I-Is it weird of me…?"

"N-No! No it's not!" Marisa moved to reassure her, then felt a chill down her spine. Or rather, Reimu's glare. "Oh come on Reimu…!" Marisa turned around and pleaded, "I can't say anything nasty to that, can I?"

"I could…" Reimu mumbled inaudibly.

"Besides… I- Wait…" Marisa spun back to Alice, "You saw my scrapbooks?" she asked, surprised.

"O-Oops…" Alice scratched her cheek sheepishly, "I uh… I dropped by your house the other day and the door was ajar, so I…" she started half-lying, but Marisa interrupted her.

"No no, I mean obviously you'll have to break into my house to see them," stated the habitual burglar, "But how did you _find them?"_ Marisa asked.

"What do you mean?" Alice was puzzled.

"They're hidden! They're my masterpieces!" Marisa explained.

"No they weren't," recounted Alice, "They were on the… table…?" she looked at Marisa, who shook her head.

"Impossible," Marisa said, "I'd never leave them around like that."

"Maybe you just forgot them there?" Patchouli suggested.

"Impossible," insisted Marisa.

"Right, so someone moved them there, which made Alice develop… feelings for Marisa" Reimu concluded, "Plus we know Remilia did some matchmaking for Patchouli…"

Now Patchouli had a similarly grave expression, "Reimu-san, you can't possibly think that…"

"I just need to know one more thing," Reimu took a deep breath, turned to Marisa, managed to compose herself, and then blurted out, "Right, _so how did you come to love me_?"

Marisa gagged. Patchouli spat. Alice froze.

"Marisa…!"

"D-Do I have to answer that now? !" Marisa flustered.

"It's important, hurry!" Reimu urged, cheeks reddening fast.

"W-Well… I uh… like I told you before… I just somehow realised it one day…" Marisa stuttered.

"B-Be more specific! How did you realise it? !" Reimu urged some more.

"H-How should I know? ! You don't specifically remember how you came to like or love someone, do you? !" Marisa argued.

"No, no! Try to remember the sensation of… of first _falling in love with me_!" Reimu demanded.

Patchouli was stifling her sniggering. Alice was deep red like a brick, and just as rigid as one.

"I… I can't! I… I can't…?" Marisa suddenly realised something, "I… I can't Reimu," she told Reimu, "It… When I try to ask myself why my… my head suddenly goes blank, like…"

"Like there's no proper memory to begin with, right?" Reimu suggested, and Marisa nodded. "I should know…" cold sweat crept down Reimu's temple, "I feel a similar sensation too…"

"… Wait… You're saying someone messed with your heads?" Patchouli asked.

Alice finally broke out of her stone casting, "But… But who would do such a thing? Wait… doesn't that mean that…" horror started to dawn on her.

"… All our feelings were triggered by someone else…" Marisa finished for Alice, horror starting to dawn on her too.

"… We've been manipulated…" Horror dawned on Patchouli three.

"… As… As I suspected…" Horror dawned on Reimu four.

The four girls looked at each other out of the horrific realisation that, "IT'S AN INCCIDENT? !"

* * *

"So! Are you behind this too? !" Hourai waved the invitation card before Seiga's face. The four were still in Alice's living room, the only difference now being that instead of sitting from across them, Kaku Seiga was cozying up to Koishi, Shanghai and Hourai on the couch like an unwelcomed but irremovable cat.

"Don't be ridiculous," frowned Seiga, "Did you not read who's presiding it? One of the Enma, the infamous Judge of the Dead Shiki-sama herself! The Enma hate hermits like me! There's no way they'd let me be in cahoots with them for anything, even if I wanted in," claimed Seiga.

Koishi was a little surprised at this revelation, "Why do they hate you?" she asked concernedly.

"Eh? K-Koishi-san…" Hourai whizzed over and whispered urgently, "Are you feeling pity for her?"

"Mmm…" Koishi nodded, "That's because it must be terrifying if you're hated by the Judges…"

Seiga gasped, then smiled warmly, "Oh, how I love you, _Koishi-chan_! Don't you worry your pretty little head about that!" she ruffled Koishi's hair under the tensed glare of Hourai, "The Enma's my little problem! Tell you what," she held Koishi lovingly by the shoulders under the suspicious gaze of Shanghai, "I'll tell you as much as I know!"

"Th-Then Seiga-san, why is this conference being organised?" Koishi asked.

"Dunno," answered Seiga immediately.

"Oi!" Hourai flew to Seiga and slapped her hands off Koishi furiously, "You said you'd tell her!"

"I said I'd tell you what _I know_," Seiga wrung her hands in mock injury.

"Then does Seiga-san know how many people are being invited?" Shanghai inquired.

Glancing between the various anxious expressions of Koishi, Hourai and Shanghai, Seiga sighed, "You know… I won't exaggerate, but uh… It really does look like everyone's being invited… Except for Reimu, Marisa and Alice-san, for obvious reasons…"

"Ehhh? !"

"Yup," Seiga shrugged, "You see, this thing's _official_. It was even mailed to me discreetly this morning. By the _Tengu _no less… Hehe… Just when you think you've hatched a wonderful plot, Hell outdoes you…"

"EHHH? !" This _is _huge, realised the other three.

"H-Hourai-nee-chan… Alice-sama is in big trouble!" Shanghai clutched her older sister frantically.

"C-Calm down Shanghai! O-Or I won't be able to stay calm either!" Hourai clutched back just as frantically.

Koishi looked at the two distressed dolls sympathetically. "… Seiga-san, do you think I'm invited?" she asked Seiga.

"Hmm… As the younger mistress of Chireiden, I'd say most likely…" Seiga guessed.

"Then Shanghai-chan! Hourai-chan! Lett's go attend this conference!" Koishi stood up and said to Shanghai and Hourai bracingly.

"Huh?" Hourai and Shanghai looked at Koishi, still rather distressed, "A… Attend the conference…?"

"Ah, I see…" chimed in Seiga, "'What better way to know about the enemy then to walk straight into their camp?' or something like that, right?" she met the gazes of Hourai and Shanghai.

"Eh? Koishi-san?" the two dolls turned back to Koishi.

"Yup," Koishi nodded in affirmation, "Whatever this conference is, it sounds like they're gathering to plan something, so… so that means nothing's been done yet, right? Hourai-chan! Shanghai-chan! Let's go learn of their plans so that we can help protect your master!" Koishi urged.

"… Haah…! K-Koishi-sama!" Shanghai and Hourai went up and hugged Koishi, all puppy-eyed, causing Koishi to giggle, all ticklish, her cheeks red and rosy.

"Haha… Alright then! I'll help you out!" Seiga announced enthusiastically.

The short lived moment of cheer was truncated as the two dolls looked at Seiga suspiciously.

"… Why are _you _choosing to help us all of a sudden?" they interrogated.

"Haven't I been cooperating thus far?" Seiga crossed her arms good-naturedly, "Besides… Why not? Sneaky plan… Going up against probably most of Gensokyo… Big boss is one of the Enma themselves... More drama to this story… Not to mention stopping a plot that outshone mine…" Seiga mumbled the last one darkly, "Sounds good to me!" she grinned mischievously.

Hourai and Shanghai remained unconvinced, but Koishi shook her head at them, "She's not lying," she revealed, "In her heart, she truly wants to help us."

"Ah~haan~" went Seiga, creeping out the others, "That's why I love you so much, _Koishi-chaan_~-"

"Although her intentions _are _clouded…" Koishi added, sweat-dropping.

"Ahaha… I love that about you too…" said Seiga sheepishly.

Hourai and Shanghai glanced at each other uncertainly. Sh-Should we trust her?

"I promise I won't get you three into trouble," Seiga proposed, "If nothing, I swear I won't get in your way. Besides, with my ability to bypass physical obstacles and Koishi-chan's to bypass mental ones, we'll be able to fully investigate this. Useful, right?" she said.

"Fine…" spoke up Hourai for the others, "We'll let you come along… for now…"

"Then I suppose we better make a move then?" suggested Seiga.

"What? Now?" asked Hourai, Shanghai and Koishi.

"Of course!" Seiga raised an eyebrow at them.

"Didn't you see the date and timing of the conference? It's tonight!"

* * *

"So… It's an incident huh… Aha… Ahahaha…" Marisa stood up and tried chuckling, but it died out awkwardly before the downcast expressions of Reimu, Alice and Patchouli. She then sat back down with the others, and a heavy silence passed for a moment.

"Unforgivable…"

The others looked up to the far right. Patchouli was standing shakily.

"To play around with our feelings like that…!" she told the others, "It's… It's just unforgivable! I'm going to find Remi and give her a piece of my mind!" she marched off suddenly and rather energetically, startling the others.

"I… I'm going to get to the bottom of this too!" Reimu stood up to follow, "I'm going to make Remilia tell us who else is involved! No one makes a mockery of a maiden like me!" and the maidenly shrine maiden stormed off. Joining Patchouli, the two marched off shoulder-to-shoulder to war.

"… Ahh… Guess I can't just leave this one alone after all, ze…" Marisa got up too, but was stopped by Alice at the wrist.

"Ah…! A-Alice…?" Marisa asked uneasily, rather conscious of the girl unrequitedly in love with her.

"Marisa… I… I don't like the idea that this is all an incident…" Alice murmured.

"Huh?"

"I… D-Doesn't it make it feel… you know? Fake? Our feelings that is…" Alice struggled to express herself, "It… If this really is an incident… Th-Then we're like puppets being played out!" Alice gritted her teeth.

"B-Because I thought I really liked you!" she stared hard into Marisa's eyes.

Marisa's startled expression gave way to a soft smile, "… You don't like it?" she asked.

"O-Of course not!" Alice started, "What are you-"

"Then there's nothing left to it but to give the perpetrators a proper beating, right?" the shining girl before Alice offered her a hand.

"… Mmm!" Alice nodded. Grasping Marisa's hand, the two made to follow after Reimu and Patchouli.

* * *

"So you're definitely sure that Remilia was behind _your _manipulation? Doesn't surprise me but doesn't give me many answers either… Well, at least it's a start- Uah! P-Patchouli-san…?" Reimu halted on the way down the corridor as the purple clad magician next to her collapsed against the wall, heaving heavily.

"Hah… hah… Just give me a break… Reimu-san…" Patchouli pleaded, her pale face paler than usual.

"Ehh~ That's no good, Patchouli-san! Overexerting yourself after just a bit… Where did all the previous rage go to?" Reimu crossed her arms and asked.

"Rage…? Is… Hah… Is that how you do it…?" Patchouli questioned.

"Or course. Makes it easier for me to beat up youkai," Reimu gave a straight answer.

"A…Amazing… Hah… That's the infamous Red-White for you…" remarked Patchouli.

"… It occurred to me awhile ago but…" Reimu glanced about her worriedly, "Don't you think the Scarlet Devil Mansion is much more quiet than usual?"

"Eh…? Is it…? Hah…"

"Spend more time outside your library, Patchouli-san…" Reimu chastised.

"Hmmm… You're right, Reimu-san…" Patchouli finally caught sufficient breath and straightened up, "There's considerably less activity… All the fairy maids are gone…"

The two looked at each other with growing worry. Just then, they noticed Marisa and Alice catching up behind them.

"Hey, Reimu, Patchouli! Have you found Remilia yet, ze?" Marisa shouted her question.

"Hurry up, Marisa!" Reimu called back, "I think something may have happened- What are you two doing…?"

Marisa and Alice flinched when Reimu and Patchouli's expressions suddenly turned severe.

"Wh-What- Oh…!" It was if a sudden jolt of electricity ran through their joined hands, causing them to jump apart. Not that Marisa was aware that hers and Alice's hands were still joined; she had unconsciously held it all the way from the library. Alice, though, knew. She just decided to enjoy it while she could, and hopefully pass it off as casually as possible…

It did not work.

"Aha… P-Patchouli?" Alice asked Patchouli guiltily.

"It's alright… I already knew I was the odd one out…" Patchouli said somewhat bitterly.

"D-Don't say that…!" Alice pleaded awkwardly.

"Hearing it come from you just makes it worse…" Patchouli sobbed.

While Alice was doing a bad job of trying to console Patchouli, Reimu was thoroughly grilling Marisa over ice.

"Oh come on, Reimu, I was just giving her some encouragement…"

"Why are you telling me this? It's not like I care…"

"Th-Then why do you have your hand on your spell card…?"

"Spell card? What spell card? I'm not touching my spell card…"

"R-Reimu… You've got this incredible killing intent about you ze…"

And so the four bickered, momentarily forgetting what was on hand. Until…

"U-Uah! L-Look Sakuya… _All of them_ gathered _right in front of me_! _In my mansion_! _At a time like this_!"

The four looked up, and immediately donned the face of homocidal maniacs. Before them was an unusually terrified Remilia Scarlet and her ever elegant servant, Izayoi Sakuya.

The four maniacs grinned madly.

"I think we should have sneaked away while we could, Remilia-ojou-sama," observed Sakuya.

"S-Sneak away…?" Remilia asked incredulously in a small voice, "N-Never! A lady of her castle never-"

The four maniacs closed in.

"Hii… Run for it!" screamed Remilia.

The chase was on!

**Chapter End**


	13. Ch 13: Underway

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

* * *

**Chapter 13: Underway**

"STOP RIGHT THERE! !" yelled a monstrous witch, a monstrous witch, a monstrous witch and a monstrous shrine maiden. Just before them…! Just before them! Just before them, fleeing, fleeing for her life was a poor, poor little vampire.

"Hii...!" shrieked little Remilia Scarlet, her wings flapping as fast as she could as Patchouli, Alice, Marisa and Reimu (monstrous ver.) gave chase behind her, their talons but a millimetre away from clawing her in. Accompanying Remilia in her flight was her focused but calm servant, Izayoi Sakuya.

"Remilia-ojou-sama, they don't seem to be giving up," Sakuya looked behind her with a grim expression.

"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING! !" shrieked Remilia to the pack of wolves behind her.

"YES YOU HAVE, NOW GET OVER HERE! !" growled Patchouli.

"I ONLY MESSED WITH YOU, PATCHY! I'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER THREE! !" Remilia pleaded.

"THEN I GUESS YOU ONLY OWE _ME _YOUR HEAD! !" howled Patchouli, to which Remilia gave another shriek.

"Remilia-ojou-sama… I think that's enough time we bought Koakuma…" whispered Sakuya.

"Ah… Is that so…? Then I guess we better stop risking our necks out here…" Remilia stopped shrieking as she and Sakuya led their pursuers around a corner and down another corridor of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"… Isn't it weird?" Behind the fleeing pair, Reimu frowned suspiciously.

"What's weird?" Marisa asked her.

"Sakuya isn't doing anything," Reimu pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, but Marisa was quick to follow Reimu's thoughts.

"…! Sakuya isn't stopping time!" Marisa muttered the anomaly under her breath, "She and Remilia have no need to run like this!"

"It's obvious they're up to something…" Patchouli started forming a magic circle in her palm, "Reimu, against Remilia and Sakuya, this won't last for long. So I want you to prepare a proper sealing charm while I slow them down with this spell."

Reimu drew out a talisman, "Already on it."

"... 'Wood Water Sign!'" declared Patchouli, "'Rhodophyta Delight!'" and with a wave of her hand a four jets of clear viscous fluid was conjured out of thin air. They streamed through the air, intertwining and weaving like the paths of swiftlets homing on their prey. Remilia and Sakuya, turning around to see what Patchouli was doing, flinched at the sight of the sudden attack.

"… 'Rhodophyta Delight'…? Never heard of that one…" Marisa asked Patchouli curiously.

"Weaponised jelly," Patchouli continued to focus on directing the agar.

"…! W-Weaponsied jelly…" Marisa sweat-dropped.

But the jelly proved more than a mere sweet treat. Within a split second they had completely surrounded the vampire and her maid, the four threads looping amongst themselves to form a complex ball lattice, like a cocoon. A split second more and the trap quickly snared its prey.

"Oh, I hope they don't get strangled to death though… I need them alive for questioning…" said Patchouli, "That's why I used this spell… It's my fastest trap, although its strength has not yet been properly optimised…"

"S-Strangled…? ! That's one serious jelly, ze…" Marisa commented awkwardly.

"Alright! Time to finish this! Hyah! !" jumping forth, Reimu stretched out a hand, and from it shot out a bullet- no, an amulet! Striking the side of Patchouli's agar cocoon, it punched right through and-

"I-It went right through? !" exclaimed Alice and Marisa, "Reimu, are you actually trying to kill them? !"

"I hope they haven't died… _yet_…" said Patchouli with a little annoyance.

"That's your problem with that? !" Alice and Marisa turned on Patchouli.

The amullet (a/n: sorry…), having punched out of the cocoon, flew on straight and true, collided with the far wall, and caused a mid-sized explosion with a nice, deafening _bang_!

"… Well, can't say I don't approve of that, ze!" Marisa grinned sheepishly.

"What are you saying! They've been shot!" Alice cried out.

"… Like I said, I needed them alive…" Patchouli was smiling in satisfaction though.

"Ah, quiet you three! Just watch!" Reimu scolded.

The four caught up to the cocoon, where it… slowly unravelled and fell to the floor, revealing itself to be empty.

"Empty? !" Patchouli exclaimed.

"Ooh… Reimu… Nice trick ze!" Marisa clapped her hands in delight.

"M-Marisa…" Alice sweat-dropped.

"Hey, Reimu! You were supposed to seal them!" Patchouli reminded Reimu.

"I didn't," observed Reimu. And indeed she did not. Apparently Sakuya had gotten both her and her mistress out of the rather sticky situation. (a/n: sorry again…)

"Eh? But they're getting away-"

"A fleeing fox heads for its den, right?" Reimu interrupted Patchouli with a smile.

"… Oh I see! That wasn't a seal!" Patchouli and Alice nodded their heads in admiration.

"Yeah, trust Reimu to show off at times like these…" Marisa grumbled while Reimu playfully puffed up her chest with pride, "She was always like that during the past incidents we resolved together…"

"Ahaha… Don't say that Marisa!" Reimu grabbed Marisa around the arm and ruffled her head, which Marisa obliged embarrassedly.

Alice became visibly dispirited. Patchouli quickly decided to change the subject.

"So you planted a tracking talisman instead," she said, "But do we know if it works?" Patchouli asked.

"See for yourself," Reimu took out another talisman and, pointing it in several directions, finally got it to glow in one. "Look," she explained, "The direction where it is glowing is where they're headed. And it changes colour the further they go," she elaborated just as the talisman changed from red to orange, "This means they're still carrying it."

"… That's a nice trick…" Alice managed a sour compliment. Marisa was eyeing the talisman like a magpie.

"So… should we follow them now?" Patchouli asked.

"No, we should prepare ourselves first," suggested Reimu, "We'll give Remilia a head start of a few minutes before tailing them."

"Then let's go back to the library, I need to grab a few more spell cards," Patchouli said.

"Can I borrow some-"

"No Marisa, you may not."

"… Can I borrow a few dolls?" came an unusual request from Alice.

The other three looked at her inquisitively.

"I didn't bring any of mine," Alice sheepishly admitted.

* * *

Under the weakly sunny autumn sky, two figures appeared spontaneously out of thin air.

"Whoo, that was close…" Remilia stood gazing into the distance at the Scarlet Devil Mansion peeking out of the tree line, "I'd never get used to the sensation of Time Stop, I tell you," she told Sakuya, "Even if you give me another five hundred years. One moment you're there and the next instant you're here… Even if you're prepared for it, it really is very dizzying," she massaged her forehead, "Despite the convenience of not losing time, I can think of a hundred other ways more comfortable to travel! With riding on a donkey being one of them..." the little vampire princess complained.

"I'm terribly sorry, Remilia-ojou-sama," Sakuya apologised with a small giggle, opening up a parasol to shade her mistress from what strength the weak sun possessed.

"How do you even get used to that sensation, anyways?" Remilia asked her maid.

"I don't," Sakuya answered, "I'm the one doing the stopping of time."

"… Oh… I knew that… Flandre~!" Remilia turned to greet her incoming younger sister, closely accompanied by the Scarlet Devil Mansion's red-haired, sleepy-headed ("I-It's all slander, I tell you!") gate guard, Hong Meiling. Likewise, Flandre was being shaded by a parasol carried by Meiling.

"Remilia-nee-sama!" Flandre greeted back happily.

"Eh? Remilia-ojou-sama, is Patchouli-sama not with you?" Meiling asked.

"No, she's… needed to stay behind, right Flandre?" Remilia smiled.

"Yup!" cheered Flandre.

"… Did you all leave me out of something again?" Meiling asked Sakuya, a bit hurt.

"Sorry, Meiling, but even I didn't know until the last moment," Sakuya replied, "It's uh… It's one of Remilia-ojou-sama's whims again…" she pretended to whisper over.

"Is it about the invitations we all got this morning?" Meiling whispered back just as audibly.

"How rude, you two!" Remilia pouted, "Flandre wanted it too!"

"Yay! Flandre is going to get a new onee-chan!" Flandre giggled.

Meiling blinked between Remilia and Flandre, then asked Sakuya, "Where's Koakuma…?"

Sakuya and Remilia exchanged worried glances. Where _is _Koakuma…?

* * *

"They're not dolls per se, Alice," Patchouli was saying as she, Alice, Marisa and Reimu returned towards the library, "I don't have those, but I do know of a few stuffed toys we have for Flandre," she said.

"It's okay, I can work with that- Wait, what's that…?" Alice's eyes narrowed upon the small stream of black smoke emitting from the gaps in the doors, as did the other three's. Glancing at each other, they quickly threw open the library doors and rushed in.

Koakuma, the red-haired sans sleepy-headed little devil, was before the fireplace, evidently having thrown something in to burn. All around her, the place was a mess. Books were displaced, papers shifted, very unlike the usually neat librarian Koakuma was.

"Ahh! P-Patchouli-sama!" she startled.

" Koakuma! What are you burning? !" Patchouli demanded as she approached her.

"S-Sorry, Patchouli-sama…" Koakuma pleaded as she started to back away.

**- A moment ago -**

"Where is it, where is it? !" Koakuma rummaged through the library as she did for the last ten minutes, slowly starting to lose her patience and nerve.

"Where is it, this morning's mail? ! Ooh… I hope she hasn't opened it yet… Even though I reassured Remilia-ojou-sama that Patchouli-sama doesn't read her own mail until it's at least a week old…" the little succubus fretted, "Ahh! Where did she put it? !"

Some sounds came from outside the eerily quiet library, causing Koakuma to jump. All the rest of the servants throughout the entire mansion had already dispersed and hid themselves in the surrounding forests, as per Remilia-sama's orders, so she was the only one left. Sh-Should anything happen… "I'd have to f-fend for myself- Nnn…! I mustn't think that way…!" Koakuma shook her head vigorously, "But still… Remilia-ojou-sama and Sakuya-senpai are up against four monstrously strong people… Hah…! F-Found it!"

She finally extracted a clean, white envelope. It was another invitation to the '_Match them up for the betterment of the region! Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings_!' conference. This one was addressed to Patchouli Knowledge.

"It's still sealed! She hasn't read it!" Koakuma sighed with relief. "Aha~! So this is why Sakuya-senpai told me not to tell Patchouli-sama about this! That's quite the naughty plan Remilia-ojou-sama has…! Although it's not very nice to Patchouli-sama…" the little succubus guiltily giggled.

"Now, to dispose of this!" she went over to the fireplace, threw in the envelope, and…

**- Present moment -**

"Come back here, Koakuma!" Patchouli ordered her servant. "Help me retrieve whatever she threw in the fire!" she told the other three, but Alice and Marisa were already on it. Reimu stayed behind Patchouli, serving as additional motivation for Koakuma to comply.

"I-I'm really sorry Patchouli-sama… B-But this was an order from Remilia-ojou-sama," Koakuma confessed.

"…! T'ch… I knew _she_ was involved! Is everyone else in the mansion in cahoots with her? !" Patchouli demanded.

"Just what did you throw into the fire? !" Reimu advanced upon Koakuma. Koakuma backed away some more. Th-There's no way to escape from them…? !

Patchouli was livid, "Koakuma! Get over here- Cough! Cough! Hack- Wheeze…!"

"P-Patchouli-sama!" Koakuma cried out worriedly, although she did not dare go to her side. Patchouli-sama has overexerted herself…!

"H-Hey… You alright?" Reimu supported Patchouli by the arm.

"I'm… cough, cough… I'm alright…" Patchouli managed to get her breath. She looked at Koakuma pleadingly, "Please…! Please! ! If there is anything your master should know…!"

Koakuma looked directly in her master's eyes apologetically, "S-Sorry Patchouli-sama… I… I!-"

And she was gone.

"…! Saku- cough, cough…!" Patchouli nearly fell from Reimu's arms, who managed to keep supporting the ailing magician, "It's Sakuya! Damn Remi!"

"It really looks like it, huh…?" Reimu frowned.

"Reimu! Patchy!" Patchouli and Reimu turned around to see Marisa and Alice rushing to them with sorry looks on their faces.

"Sorry ze… but most of it was burned away, whatever it was…" Marisa held out the charred remains of an envelope and a card. The four examined it nonetheless.

"It looked like an invitation of some sort… You can still see on the envelope that it's addressed to you, Patchouli," Alice pointed out on the largest scrap.

"And the words 'welcomed' can still be made out on the card," Marisa added.

"Hang on… There's something else on that piece…" Reimu fingered a fragment.

"… '-gyokurou'…?" Patchouli squinted.

"… Hakugyokurou? !" Reimu and Marisa looked at each other in astonishment. I-It can only be that… right…?

"Wait… Isn't that the ghostly mansion in the netherworld?" Alice asked them.

"… This is bad… Is Yuyuko involved in this too…?" Reimu's frown was reflected on the faces of the other four as they shared the same thought.

Remilia _and _possiblyYuyuko… ? !

… Now what…?

* * *

"I'm really sorry! I don't want to do this but it's for your own good- Eh?" Koakuma stopped mid-sob as she realised that she was suddenly no longer in the library. Or the mansion for that matter. It was only then she realised the sensation of leaning against someone's chest, her torso supported by two firm arms around her midsection, as she floated several feet in the air.

"… Sakuya-senpai…" the little librarian succubus looked behind and, sure enough, it was Sakuya that was holding her, "Sakuya-senpai," Koakuma began shakily, "Did you…?"

"Yeah, I did. Managed to save you in the nick of time too…" Sakuya explained her use of Time Stop.

"… W-Waaah! Waaah!" Koakuma started wailing, startling Sakuya a little, who decided it best to lower her to the ground where Remilia and the rest were waiting.

"There, there Koakuma…" Remilia went up to the little succubus and stroked her head kindly, "You did a good thing-"

"No I did not!" Koakuma kept wailing, "I did a bad thing to Patchouli-sama…! !"

"… But Koakuma," Remilia patiently persisted, "You did it for her sake! Don't you remember? This is all so that we can pair her with her beloved Alice-san."

"… Sob… Y-Yes, Remilia-ojou-sama… Y-You're right…" Koakuma calmed down and wiped away her tears.

"If she had come with us to the conference, she'd be devastated should Alice-san be paired with someone else," Remilia was on a roll, being kindly and noble and nobly kind to her subordinate, "Plus, if we make good use of this incident, I think we stand a good chance of getting her together with Alice-san!"

Remilia lifted Koakuma's chin up just a notch with a finger, "So don't be sad, okay, Koakuma…?" she smiled gently, her eyes closed in upwards arches, her eyelashes long and pretty.

"… Y-Yes! Remilia-ojou-sama!" Koakuma brightened up immensely. Remilia's charisma points (and ego) shot through the roof. Sakuya approves. Flandre was in awe of her Onee-sama. Meiling was clueless.

"More importantly, did Patchouli read it?" Remilia asked Koakuma.

"She did not. It was unopened and I disposed it in the fireplace," answered Koakuma, to Remilia's delight.

"So… I don't get it but… do we head for Hakugyokurou now?" Meiling asked.

"Yes, yes… Let's be on our way… Although it is still rather early, so how about we stop someplace for afternoon tea?" suggested Remilia, and the SDM bunch, minus Patchouli, took to the skies.

"It's been a long time since I've gone out with everyone like this!" Flandre said excitedly as the group flew through the air. Remilia smiled warmly at the sight of her, despite her destructive personality, rather lovable sister.

"We're dropping by the human village, so make sure to be on your best behaviour, okay?" Remilia said.

"Okay, Remilia-nee-sama!" Flandre chimed, "That means that I should kill no more than two humans, right?"

"N-No… That means there should be zero deaths, humans or otherwise…" the smile on Remilia's face got a bit more awkward.

"Remilia-ojou-sama…" Sakuya flew close to Remilia's ear, "I regret to report that it seems I missed something… That shrine maiden is craftier than I thought…"

"What is it?" Remilia asked.

Sakuya lifted up one of the ends of the bow that secured her white frilled apron about her waist. There, inconspicuously planted on the underside was a tiny talisman that glowed and dimmed red.

"A… Some sort of tracking device?" Remilia correctly deduced.

"I'm guessing so too," Sakuya nodded, "It seemed strange for Reimu not to be able to trap us in a seal, but it looks like she let us get away on purpose…"

"Hah! That sneaky shrine maiden!" Remilia grinned in approval.

"Should I remove it at once?" Sakuya suggested, but she already knew what her master would do.

"No, Sakuya. Leave it on," Remilia said mischievously, "We're headed to the human village now, right? I've got just the thing for it…"

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Hi, hi! Sorry for not updating for some length of time, I was away in a nice, rustic place free of earthly troubles (a.k.a. grandmother's home w/o internet excess… geddit? Access? Excess? O Nvm…)**

**Anyways, for those who celebrate the lunar New Year (or some variation thereof), Happy Lunar New Year! For those of you who don't… Happy Lunar New Year's to you anyways!**

**It's convenient you know… having two New Year's each year… If resolutions for the first have been broken, just make new ones the second time round!**

**Wait… You're saying it doesn't work that way…?**

**: (**


	14. Ch 14: Problems, Directions and Misdirec

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Problems, Directions and Misdirections**

"So… Now what…?" Alice asked Patchouli, Marisa and Reimu. The charred remains of the mysterious invitation addressed to Patchouli now rested upon a table nearby, as they stood pondering their actions.

"… We now know that Remilia is definitely up to something," Reimu summarized, "And seeing as how she had Koakuma burn this invitation, it's obvious she doesn't want you to know about it, Patchouli."

"… So you're saying that Hakugyokurou, and probably Saigyouji Yuyuko, most likely has something to do with this?" Patchouli asked.

"… Then what are we waiting for then? ! Let's bust the place!" exclaimed Marisa.

"But that's odd… The tracking talisman I planted on Sakuya earlier…" Reimu took out the other talisman to get a reading on Remilia's whereabouts.

"What's wrong?" asked Alice.

"Remilia's not heading in the direction of the Netherworld," Reimu explained, "She's… But that direction's the human village…!"

"The human village?" frowned Patchouli, "So what should we do? Follow Remi, or go investigate Hakugyokurou?"

"We could split up," Marisa suggested, "There are four of us here."

All heads were turned to her. S-Split up…? What… A-As in… Pairs?-

"I'll go with Marisa!" Reimu immediately suggested, red-facedly guilty of ulterior motives, "She and I are fellow youkai hunters, we've had plenty of experience with each other-"

"NO! !" Everyone jumped. A flustered looking Alice had a hand clamped to her mouth, having objected a little too loudly.

"N-No…! I-I mean… yes! Yes, that's a good idea, Reimu-san," Alice began with desperate cunning, "And it's a… good thing that both you and Marisa are here! Patchouli and I have less experience with incident resolving, so maybe one of you could uh… pair with one of us?" Alice suggested innocently, then immediately blurted next, "I-I'll go with Marisa-"

"Nice try, _Alice-san_," Reimu cut across, "But I see what you're trying to do here!"

"M-Me? !" Alice was incredulous, "What about _you? ! _What is all this nonsense of 'you two being fellow youkai hunters', it's obvious to me what _you want_!"

Marisa and Patchouli glanced between Reimu and Alice, the former with nervousness and the latter with growing frustration.

"And what of it? !" argued Reimu, "Marisa and I _are _a couple!"

Alice was shocked, "Y-You! There, you said it! You really said it now! !"

"Hmph…!" smirked Reimu, "And I'll say it again, if you want to hear it-"

"ENOUGH! !"

Everyone jumped again. This time it was Patchouli who exerted herself.

"... Huff… Listen, to me! We're… not… going to be able to do anything like this!" Patchouli eyed both Reimu and Alice, "It won't do us any good if our personal feelings…" a quick glance was given to Alice, although none saw, "… get in the way! … I've got a suggestion," she said, "Why don't we split into pairs as suggested, except we go with someone… well, frankly someone we aren't head-over-heels with."

Alice and Reimu looked at their feet guiltily, not wanting to agree but unable to argue.

"… Then that settles it. _I'll _go with Marisa," said Patchouli, "And you and Alice can go together," she told Reimu.

"What? ! I have to go with her? !" Reimu and Alice both pointed fingers at each other.

"… What do you think, Marisa?" Patchouli cleverly pushed the decision over to the, up till now, silent Ordinary Magician.

"Eh? ! M-Me? !" Marisa looked at Patchouli in shock. Getting no help from the One Week Magician, she nervously treaded, "Well… I-I think Patchouli's suggestion is a good one… so we… should follow it…?"

"… You don't want to hurt Alice's feelings, do you?" Reimu asked Marisa pointedly.

"N-No! That's not it! Well… Yes! B-But Reimu, listen!" Marisa started pleading, "Listen, please! Alice is one of my best friends, so…" but Reimu already had her back turned to her.

"Sigh… No need to explain to me, Marisa… I understand…" she said stiffly, and started walking off, "Well, since I'm the one that planted the talisman, guess I'll go and hunt down Remilia, so you and Patchouli go investigate Hakugyokurou, okay?"

Marisa stood watching Reimu, feeling a little disappointed in herself. It was then that she caught Alice looking at her with equal disappointment.

"I… I guess I'd better go after Reimu, huh?" Alice said softly.

"… A-Ah, yeah… Do a good job of taking down Remilia, okay?" Marisa wished her well awkwardly.

"… M-Mmm…" Alice nodded, then she too turned away and went after Reimu. Best friends… huh…? Her pace quickened, putting more distance between her and her 'Best friend' as she caught up to Reimu's side.

And soon it was just Marisa, Patchouli, and an exceedingly uncomfortable silence.

"… Ahhh…! That was so awkward, ze!" Marisa rubbed her head furiously, "That wasn't a nice feeling at all! And why did I mess up so badly…? ! Now they _both_ hate me- Wah? !"

Patchouli was openly sobbing.

"… S-Shut up, stupid Marisa…!" she trembled with teary eyes, "A-At least they're _both_ fighting over _you_…!"

"Erm… A-Are you okay, Patchy-"

"Did you see that? _She_ didn't even _look _at me! !" Patchouli wailed uncharacteristically.

Marisa sweat-dropped, "I-Is there by any chance that you're talking about Alice-"

Patchouli shot her such an icily hateful glare that Marisa nearly stumbled backwards onto the floor.

"… It's your fault… It's all your fault! !" she threw herself into Marisa's chest and started thumping her frail little fists into Marisa's shoulders.

"C-Calm down Patchy…! I-I'm really sorry…!" Marisa pleaded to no avail.

"It's not fair! She knows all about my feelings, yet her head's full of nothing but you!" Patchouli kept up her efforts to leave imprints of her fists on Marisa's body, "It's all your fault! You stupid witch! You stupid pimp! You stupid pimp witch!"

Marisa cringed, "P-Pimp- Hey, Patchy! That's going too far, don't you think-"

"You're no witch of love! You're just a pimp witch!" Patchouli kept wailing without any true idea as to what she was saying in her distress, "Stupid Marisa! Go out there and get yourself a harem! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp!"

"Aha… Ow… That insult actually hurts, Patchy…" Marisa relented with a sigh, unable to do anything but hold on to the sobbing Patchouli.

* * *

"… I've been wondering…" Hourai asked Kaku Seiga as she flew next to her, guarding the hermit at the same time in case Seiga decided to be up to no good, "… Why the Netherworld? Why are they holding the conference there?"

She, Shanghai and Komeiji Koishi were on their way to attend the 'Match them up for the betterment of the region! Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings!' conference held in Hakugyokurou, the personal residency of one of the big wigs of Gensokyo, Saigyouji Yuyuko.

"Hmm… Well, although the chair person _is _Shiki Eiki, for obvious reasons, you can't just invite everyone to Hell, right?" Seiga said.

"And… the Netherworld's better?" Shanghai joined in, trembling with fright, "I-It's still a place where the dead go, r-right?"

"Well, yes, but it's different in that it's a bit more accessible," Seiga explained. "Put it this way: Entering and exiting the Netherworld is rather easy, but Hell… Well, Hell's _really _a place you want to go only when you're forced to…" she mused, "It's not really a place where the living can just waltz in, let alone out."

"Really?" Koishi asked, "I once found myself there for some reason. I was lost too, but I managed to wander out safely… It was really scary!" she recounted with a thrilled expression.

The other three looked at her in blank amazement.

"… You really are something, aren't you?" Seiga sweat-dropped, "I've said I love you before, but really now…" she chuckled nervously.

"B-But it's still a place where the d-dead go… T-That mustn't be comfortable with the o-other youkai, right?" Shanghai said.

"True. But Gensokyo is full of conflicting powers, despite its peace and serenity," Seiga said, "Think about it. We have the Scarlet Devil bunch, the Moriya bunch, the Eintei bunch, the Myouren bunch, the Subterranean bunch, and of course, my little group of Taoist devotees," Seiga recalled with a smile, "The reason why everyone can coexist this peacefully without conflict is because everyone pretty much goes about their own lives, minding their own businesses in their respective areas. If one were to gather all of Gensokyo's denizens, then a place with neutrality and authority would be ideal. Hell would be a good example."

"But… We're not going to Hell. We can't, you just said so," Hourai pointed out.

"Exactly! The Netherworld's the next best thing and, as I said, is far more accessible too," explained Seiga, "As another domain of the dead, all the living denizens will have no choice but to respect the host, Saigyouji Yuyuko. It helps too that she's a close friend of that powerful youkai Yakumo Yukari."

"I see, I see… Wait, why are we flying upwards?" Hourai asked, and indeed the group were heading up towards the sky.

"I'm sure the netherworld's somewhere a bit more earthly, but the gate's somewhere up there," Seiga pointed towards the clouds, "Hmm… A place where you can only go if you know the way, huh…? Not so different from a hermit's home!" she remarked cheerily.

"But… How do you know where it is?" Hourai asked.

"Directions are on the back of the invitation," Seiga pointed out simply.

"Eh?" the two doll sisters and Koishi took out the invitation and flipped to the back. "Ooh… So they are!" they exclaimed.

And the four were well on their way to the conference.

* * *

And so were another bunch, specifically the Scarlet Devil Bunch.

"Ooah…! That desert was so nice! I've never had it before! I want to have it again!" Flandre cheered as she exited the front of an eatery, closely followed by Remilia, Meiling and Koakuma.

"A-Ah… That wasn't desert, Flandre-ojou-sama…" Meiling sweat-dropped, "And you didn't even wait for the meat to cook…"

"… Having grilled meat for tea time…" Remilia had a difficult expression on her face, "Plus the way you were eating, Flandre…" How embarrassing for a noble lady like me…

"Aha… Can't be helped, Flandre-ojou-sama came running here the moment she smelled it…" Koakuma giggled awkwardly.

The two vampire sisters ventured back onto the main street of the human village, closely followed by their servants with parasols, when from in front of them approached a maid in a blue frilled dress.

"Sakuya," Remilia greeted, "I trust it was successful?"

"Yes, Remilia-ojou-sama," reported Sakuya, "I have planted the talisman elsewhere as you have requested. Although I must ask, why an Autumn Festival?"

As it happens, the human village was hosting the annual Autumn Festival this evening on the outskirts of town for the fourth day today.

"Excellent! Now Reimu will be lured here! The stage is set- Ooh…" Remilia bent down in discomfort.

"Eh? Is something the matter?" Sakuya asked her mistress concernedly.

"Lousy quality grilled meat too…" Remilia grumbled, clutching her tummy.

"I've saved some for you, Sakuya!" Flandre ran up to Sakuya with a small box in hand, "You haven't had anything to eat, so I thought you might be hungry!"

"Ah! How considerate of you, Flandre-ojou-sama! Thank you very much!" Sakuya accepted the gift with an appreciative smile, although she already knew that something was probably wrong with it. And sure enough, behind Flandre, Meiling was shaking her head and mouthing the words 'It's not cooked', to which Sakuya could only shrug her shoulders awkwardly.

"Okay, that's enough time we've wasted here," said Remilia, "Reimu must be homing in on the talisman right now. Let's go."

And away they went to Hakugyokurou.

* * *

"If you breathe… one word about what happened…" Patchouli's nose was threatening to slice of Marisa's. Her eyes were still red and puffy from the crying, although her sadness had evaporated, leaving simply anger, "If Remi, or Alice, or anyone else for that matter knows about my previous behavior…"

"O-Okay, I get it, I get it…! Not one word, I promise ze!" Marisa submitted with an awkward grin.

"Hmph…" Turning away from Marisa, Patchouli glanced about the otherwise empty library, "Come on… We've wasted enough time here. We should get going to Hakugyokurou and ask some questions…"

"Wasn't time wasted because you were crying- I' sorry, I'm sorry! I mean it's entirely my fault!" Marisa flinched under Patchouli's icy stare.

"… Of course it is," Patchouli said coldly, and walked out of the library, closely followed by Marisa. As they headed towards the Scarlet Devil Mansion's main entrance however, Patchouli became wary of Marisa constantly looking at her apologetically. Soon, she could no longer tolerate the sense of guilt accumulating in her.

"Wh-What…?" Patchouli stopped and turned towards Marisa- …! Wh-What's with that forlorn look…? !

"H-Hey…" Marisa asked Patchouli quietly, "Do you… really hate me that much?"

Patchouli turned away on the pretence of being haughty; she was really just trying to avoid looking at those puppy eyes. "No, I don't," she said, "I'm just a bit angry, that's all."

Marisa became even more downcast, "Sigh… I've made everyone angry, huh…?" the poor little puppy said.

Guh..! My heart…! "H-Hey, Marisa…" Patchouli hazarded a glance at Marisa.

"I've failed as your best friend, Patchy… I've failed as Alice's best friend…!" Marisa sniffled.

"Ah, ah, ah…! Th-That's not it! That's not it at all!" Patchouli came rushing to little Marisa's side, completely at a loss on what to do, "I-I…"

"Alright…" Marisa's fists clenched.

"Eh…?"

"All of this is because of some people messing with us, right?" Marisa looked up with rejuvenated determination. She marched forward a distance, leaving behind a rather confused Patchouli.

"Then I guess I have no choice…" Marisa turned around, "But to bust them up good, ze!" she exclaimed to Patchouli.

"Huh…?"

"I promise you Patchy," Marisa thumped her chest, her hand clutching her mini-hakkero, "For your sake, and for Reimu and Alice's, I'll blast whoever dared messed with us to smithereens! And then um… Can we go back to being friends, Patchy?" she asked Patchouli sheepishly.

"… Haha… Hahahaha…!" Patchouli laughed openly, causing Marisa's sheepish look to turn into an uneasy, "What do you mean 'go back to being friends'?" she asked airily.

"E-Eh…? ! Y-You mean…?" Marisa uneasiness increased.

"Marisa…" Patchouli stepped forward towards Marisa solemnly, "I…"

"I'm really sorry for being mad at you!" she bowed low, "You weren't at fault!"

"…! P-Patchy!" Marisa rushed to straighten Patchouli up by the shoulders, but Patchouli caught her hands in her own instead.

"I… I don't know what's gotten over me… It's all these bitter feelings, you see…" Patchouli admitted, "I… I know you're someone I can always count on, Marisa. Even when I was mad at you, you were still so patient…" Patchouli smiled shyly, "You… You're one of my precious friends," she admitted, embarrassed.

A bright grin grew across Marisa's face as the uneasiness between the two melted away.

"Isn't that right, da ze?" she teased Patchouli without hesitation, "You don't have many, after all!"

Patchouli's warm expression was immediately replaced with a dark one, "Oi… I didn't say you could start making fun of me like that…"

"It's all alright with you though, isn't it?" Marisa was still grinning brightly, "Come on! We've got no more time to waste!" she walked over to one of the many long, French windows that lined the mansion's corridors, "Let's just leave this place my style and hurry over to Hakugyokurou!"

"Your style- Eh? ! M-Marisa! Wait-"

Smash!

"- a moment…" Patchouli sweat-dropped. T'ch… I knew she'd do that…! But Marisa was already outside anyways, waiting on her broom. Resigning with a chuckle, she joined the awaiting black-white witch outside. And the two flew off.

"… And seriously, next time Marisa, please don't break the windows…"

"Hehe…! Sorry, Patchy! So… How should I make it up to you?"

"… Hmph! The nerve of you… How about you leave Alice to me?"

"…! P-Patchy! Alice isn't mine to give!"

"Heh…"

* * *

Meanwhile…

"I-I was with her too when she faced that hell raven Reiuji Utsuho!"

"Hah! Don't make me laugh! You and the other youkai were cowering far above on the surface. Only I was _physically _by her side!"

… Reimu and Alice, not being that good of friends to begin with, were _not _having a heartfelt session with each other.

"O-Oh yeah? ! Well, even though you _were _there, you didn't exactly lend Marisa any extra firepower, did you, Reimu?"

"Like you were the only one, Alice! If I recall correctly, even that kappa Kawashiro Nitori was there!"

The two were comparing notes on how compatible a partner they are for Marisa, even as they flew through the sky, tracking down Remilia.

Basically…?

"I'm better with her, Reimu!" "I'm better with her, Alice!"

… And so on and so forth…

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Ahem...! Whoo... Here I go...!**

_**Title:** **Too Bad**_

_Shanghai-chan_

_Koishi-chan_

_You're missing it_

_Sorry_

**… Hehe…**


	15. Ch 15: The Conference

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Conference**

"Yukari-sama…? Yukari-sama!" Evening had arrived at the Yakumo household, and Yakumo Ran was standing outside of Yukari's room, having just knocked on her door a couple of times.

"I'm not awake…~" Nil response.

Ran sighed. Oh well… It _was _getting closer to winter, and Yukari-sama had been spending lesser and lesser time awake during the day. Pretty soon, she would be hibernating straight through the cold months. But… As she looked down at the gold embossed invitation card in her hand, Ran could not help but feel that her master would not want to miss this:

_You are hereby invited as a denizen of Gensokyo to the "Match them up for the betterment of the region! Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings!" conference and tea (snacks provided but not free)._

_Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings_

_Reimu_

"… Yukari-sama isn't going to take this well…" Ran shook her head with a smile, "Reimu-san being matched to a girl (probably) behind her back… Yukari-sama?" the faithful shikigami tried knocking on Yukari's door again, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's something rather urgent."

"Have someone else deal with it…!" came a grumble from within, "Maybe Yuyuko or, I don't know, someone else…! Let Hell handle it or something…" the sleepy voice trailed off.

Ran took a blank look at the invitation again.

_Host: Saigyouji Yuyuko_

_Presiding Chairperson: Shiki Eiki Yamaxanadu _

Well… Glad _that's _sorted out… "… I'll just leave this here," Ran slid the card under the door, "Don't you tell me later that I didn't try to inform you…" and with that, Ran left to take a well earned rest after a hard day's work.

* * *

"Ah! Good evening, welcome to Hakugyokurou! Good evening, welcome to Hakugyokurou! Ah, yes, your invitation please? Thank you! Welcome to Hakugyokurou- Hey, why am I doing this…?" Long rabbit ears drooped over the enchanting red eyes of one Reisen Udongein Inaba. The lunar rabbit youkai, dressed in a mid-length blue skirt and formal pink shirt with tie and belt, stretched her arms, sighing. Usually, she was the medical assistant of Eintei's genius doctor, Yakogoro Eirin. Today however, she was assigned to help out in the ushering of the guests through Hakugyokurou's gate due to a lack of manpower.

Well… actually, there was really _only one_ person doing all the work in Hakugyokurou, so there was no helping it...

Speaking of whom… "Good work, Reisen-san," a light hand tapped on her shoulder, and the rabbit turned around to the image of a petite, silver haired girl. She was dressed in a neat green dress with black necktie and hair ribbon, and behind her floated a formless, mochi-like phantom – her other half.

"Sorry I couldn't help you at the gate," Hakugyokurou's gardener and swordsman (plus everything else…) Konpaku Youmu apologised, "But I had my hands full with just guiding the guests to the main hall… Here, I brought you some tea!" she held out a small flask.

"Oh, thank you!" Reisen smiled, taking the flask, "Don't worry about me! It's just like regular work! Although..." she scratched her very long purple hair with some discomfort, "… I probably should have brought something to tie my hair up. There's no wind here in the Netherworld! It's so stifling! And it doesn't help that the autumn air is getting drier and drier…"

"Aha… Yes, it is rather lifeless…" Youmu joked, and the two shared a giggle. "All jokes aside, I don't know if it was by design, but if it was windy, the phantoms wouldn't be able to live here," the half-human, half-phantom added.

"Hmm? Why?" Reisen asked curiously.

"That's because they would be constantly blown about at random," Youmu answered seriously.

There was no wind blowing now.

"… I-Is that how it works?" Reisen asked, sweat-dropping.

"Of course- Oh! Hello, good evening! Welcome to Hakugyokurou!" Youmu turned to greet another guest, while Reisen was still struggling to make sense of Youmu's revelation in a more serious light.

"Now, remember," said Kaku Seiga [_to Hourai and Shanghai_], as [_they_] she and Komeiji Koishi made it past Youmu and Reisen, "You two are not supposed to be here; your master Alice-san is at the centre of this plot. That's why we're having Koishi hide you two."

[_Hourai and Shanghai nodded in understanding._]

"Don't worry, leave it to me!" Koishi reassured [_the two dolls_].

The group arrived at a majestic sized courtyard, evenly covered in fine white gravel and aesthetically dotted with smooth surfaced boulders and well trimmed pines, conifers and bonsai. Lounging about were several small groups of youkai gossiping and chatting with each other. Others turned down a path towards a large, two storied building with a slopping, tiled roof and a smaller Japanese garden before it.

"That must be the main hall, where the conference is held," Seiga indicated.

"I wonder if Satori-nee-sama and the others are here already," Koishi said, referring to her sister's pet kasha and hell raven, Orin and Okuu a.k.a. Reiuji Utsuho.

And the group went in.

* * *

"Wow…! There's so many people here!" Koishi said with awe, even as she and Seiga [_and Hourai and Shanghai_] fought hard to squeeze through the crowd packed into the hall. The hall was by no means small – it was huge, with a breathtakingly lofty ceiling, four huge, plain wooden pillars and wooden floor panelling, all polished to the point of looking lacquered. But the crowd was much, much bigger, consisting of tengu, ghosts, youkai of all kinds and even a few gods in attendance. Up at the front was a stage, lit by lanterns and set up with a single podium.

"It really looks like all the denizens of Gensokyo are here…" Seiga remarked, "There must be easily around four hundred people here… Let's head up to the galleries and see if there are more seats there!"

Seiga led the group up a stairway, and strangely, despite how packed the ground level was, the upper galleries had plenty of empty seats. It would seem that most of Gensokyo wanted to be closer to the action, regardless of social status; from where they were, the group spotted powerful youkai such as the Oni deva Hoshiguma Yuugi, to even the Moriya mountain goddess Yasaka Kanako. The youkai were all busy chatting to one another boisterously, between them no snacks (they weren't free) but plenty of sake.

[_"Feels more like a party then a conference…" Hourai remarked on the rowdy crowd._]

"Look! There's Satori-nee-sama! And Orin and Okuu!" Koishi pointed excitedly to a group of three youkai girls squeezed towards the front, off-centre: A petite, purple short haired girl, a red headed cat girl, and a tall brunette with large raven wings.

Just then, a small figure appeared on stage, briefly disappeared behind the podium, and after what seemed to be some efforts to mount something, reappeared over the podium. An almost child-sized, fair-skinned, green-haired, jade-eyed cutest little thing uniformed in navy blue with loose white sleeves. She wore a ridiculously elaborate hat adorned with frills and ribbons and a gold badge at the front. Her overall appearance was similar to a wood figurine from a themed cuckoo clock – Cartoonish but adorable.

"… Awww…" went Koishi [_and Shanghai_], "Look at the girl… She's so cute!"

"Ahem!" An effort from the adorable little girl to get the attention of the crowd went unnoticed, inciting more giggles from Koishi, [_Hourai and Shanghai_].

"Don't laugh now, that's Shiki Eiki Yamaxanadu," said Seiga.

"Eh? Her?" startled Koishi, [_Hourai and Shanghai_].

"… Now you see why I don't take Hell seriously one bit," Seiga smirked, "The audience's making the mistake of ignoring her though… This ought to be good!" she said with anticipation.

Adorable little Shiki Eiki continued to eye the crowd somewhat irritably, before her pretty little face became hideously marred by fury.

"SILEEEENCEEEE! !" Shiki Eiki suddenly let out a monstrous shriek. Koishi, [_Hourai and _Shanghai] jumped. Everyone looked up in shock.

"Silence! Sileeenceee! ! Silence in the court! Silence I say! !" Shiki Eiki continued to shriek as she furiously waved about a small, flat, long pentagonal rod – Her infamous Rod of Remorse. (a/n: Great for scratching places you can't reach- Pichuun~!)

"But we're not in a court," pointed out someone from the audience.

The Judge of Hell blinked and blushed at her slip up, before furiously yelling, "Silence! Sileencee! ! You think you're smart, do you? ! _Do you_? ! !"

Sounds of adoration came from the crowd. How cute…~

"… Grrr… SILENCE! SILEENCEE! ! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! YOU'RE ALL JUDGED GUILTY! ! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK!"

The crowd could not help but chuckle as threats of "I'M SENDING YOU ALL TO HELL! !" and screams of "_Perverts! Lolicons! _AND DON'T YOU _DARE _CALL ME A LOLI! !" continued to issue from the podium.

"Now, now everyone, let's not give Shiki-sama a hard time here…" a much more serene voice issued from the stage, and everyone's eyes were directed to a seemingly young lady calmly gliding up to Shiki Eiki. The lady spotted breezy, shoulder length pink hair, and she wore a light blue kimono adorned with white frills and black lace ribbons, and a similarly coloured mob hat. Her eyes were a darkish pink, like the last of glowing embers, although she had the air of an extremely carefree person. You would be too, if you were free from all of life's troubles. After all, Saigyouji Yuyuko's happily dead.

"Saigyouji Yuyuko," Shiki Eiki addressed Hakugyokurou's ghostly mistress, "First of all, before I begin, I'd like to thank Yuyuko-san here for letting us use this hall."

The crowd applauded courteously. Yuyuko smiled and bowed.

"Secondly," Shiki Eiki said, "I'd like to formally request that all of you please be well behaved during the duration of this conference. You are free to ask questions or give opinions at anytime. _Just make sure they are sensible_!" Shiki Eiki hissed the last line.

That very last line flew over the heads of Gensokyo's denizens.

"To make sure you all behave, I have brought along my subordinate shikigami, Onozuka- WHERE THE HELL IS KOMACHI? ! !" Shiki Eiki suddenly yelled furiously.

At which a tall, rather busty girl struggled to her feet to the left of the stage, using a large scythe for support. She had reddish pink hair tied into two ponytails, and she wore a white and blue dress and robe and a large obi belt around her waist. Onozuka Komachi rubbed her red eyes sleepily, yawned loudly, and called out lazily, "Here~!"

The crowd exploded with laughter. Shiki Eiki was simply about to explode.

"KOMACHIII! !" she shrieked, "YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK BAD! !"

"Oh…? Oops! Sorry Shiki-sama!" Komachi apologised heartily, "I didn't know everyone was here, everyone was so quiet-"

"QUIET, MY TINY FEET! ! AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE SLEEPING IN THE FIRST PLACE! !" Shiki Eiki seethed.

"Sorry, sorry~! Ahh… Hello everyone!" Komachi bowed as she introduced herself cheerily, "I'm Onozuka Komachi and uh… usually I'm ferrying souls over the Sanzu River but ah… today I'm doubling as an executioner! So be good or I'll have to kill you, okay?" she grinned.

"NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST! !" Shiki Eiki yelled, and everyone chuckled. Komachi rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

"T'ch… Really! Asking everyone else to behave when you're so slovenly! You're the last person I want to hear such things from, Komachi…" Shiki Eiki sighed. "Alright, down to proper business-"

The doors to the hall flew open. "Sorry we're late~" announced a voice grandiosely. Everyone turned around to see who it was.

Against the backdrop of a deep crimson dusk marched in Remilia Scarlet and her entourage.

* * *

"… Something's been worrying me for awhile now…" revealed Hakurei Reimu, as she and Alice Margatroid flew through the air, following the signal of a tracking talisman that Reimu had planted on Remilia, "It's still giving a signal but… the signal's been at the Human Village for some time now…"

"What, did your talisman fail, Reimu?" Alice goaded.

"… I'm not the one using a stuffed toy dog and a clown puppet for familiars…" Reimu hit back.

"T'ch…! I had no choice… These were the best Flandre had…" Alice frowned, "And in any case, are you making fun of them? ! Because they're pretty cute, you know!"

"… They are… I have to admit."

"See?-"

"Just fit for a five year old little girl," Reimu smirked.

"… And that's why you'll never be able to be with Marisa," Alice suddenly threw a counter out of nowhere.

"…? ! What? What does this have to do with Marisa?" Reimu demanded, confused.

"Oh, don't you know _your friend, _Reimu?" Alice sneered, "Marisa _loves _little trinkets like _these._ She and I both have the same artistic collector's spirit!" she boasted, "That's one area you'll never have affinity with her in."

"… Then I suppose you can help take care of her junk while I take care of _her other womanly needs,_ little girl," Reimu mocked naughtily.

"…! Wh-Why you…!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Kirisame Marisa and Patchouli Knowledge were heading towards Hakugyokurou on a lead they found back in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, when Marisa suddenly, violently sneezed, very nearly falling of her broom.

"… Why do I get the sense that something nasty is being said about me, ze…?" Marisa dreaded.

"Partly because it's an overused cliché?" Patchouli suggested, "But _probably _because Reimu and Alice are bickering _over you_."

Marisa fretted, because Patchouli was p-probably right_..._

* * *

"… Remilia Scarlet," a displeased Shiki Eiki addressed the vampire that had just made, in her mind, a fashionably late entrance into the conference, "You're late. I hope you have a good reason for that."

"Don't worry, Shiki-sama," Remilia smiled elegantly, "There _is _a _good _reason for that."

Before Remilia could divulge her reason, however, lazy Komachi had mysteriously and suddenly appeared in front of them, the instantaneousness of her movement startling the audience, as well as Meiling and Koakuma. Remilia and Sakuya were unfazed, though Flandre had become incredibly excitable for some reason ...

"Sorry for the intrusion, Remilia-san," Komachi smiled politely, "But uh… I'll just be checking your invitations."

"Sure, go ahead," said Remilia, and Sakuya produced everyone's invitations for Komachi to see.

"… Mmm… Uh… Isn't there supposed to be a 'Patchouli Knowledge'?" asked Komachi, rifling through the invitations.

"She's being held up at the moment," answered Remilia mischievously, "You'll know soon enough. I'll tell you during the conference," she told Shiki Eiki.

Not entirely satisfied, Shiki Eiki nonetheless let it pass. "Remilia's up to something again…" she grumbled to Yuyuko.

"It's fine though, isn't it?" Yuyuko smiled back, "Things always get interesting when Remilia's involved in a scheme. Like that time when she flew a rocket to the moon…!"

Before Remilia and the others could leave to find seats and Komachi could return to her post, however, Flandre suddenly confronted Komachi.

"Fight me!" the little excitable vampire was nearly hyperventilating.

"E-Eh?" Komachi looked at Flandre in puzzlement.

"… T'ch… Not now, Flandre, my dear sister," Remilia gently urged Flandre as Sakuya and Meiling struggled to escort Flandre away.

"But I want to fight her!" Flandre resisted, "She's strong! I can feel it! I want to fight her! !"

The group managed to persuade Flandre otherwise though, and eventually found seats as Komachi uneasily returned to her post in the same instantaneous manner she had left it.

"What were those powers she had?" Meiling whispered to Sakuya, "Komachi-san, I mean. Can she stop time like you?"

"No, she's a real teleporter, unlike me," Sakuya answered back, "Although… Teleporting isn't really the proper way to describe those powers…"

"Right! Now that we're all here!" Shiki Eiki announced, "Time to get on with the topic on hand of_ why _we're here!" And immediately the restless crowd sat up attentively.

"You may have been wondering why there was this sudden invitation for all of you to this rather sudden conference," Shiki Eiki said, "And I deeply thank you for your prompt reply and attendance. The truth of the matter is… _There is a grave threat to all of Gensokyo_! !"

Murmurings emerged from the crowd.

"That's right!" exclaimed Shiki Eiki, "It concerns all of us! It threatens the peace and stability that we sleepy denizens of Gensokyo have enjoyed for thousands of years! ! Make no mistake about this! This is something that we _must address immediately_! !"

"Everyone… Marisa, Reimu and Alice have become a severe societal hazard to Gensokyo! !"

**Chapter End**


	16. Ch 16: For the Betterment of Gensokyo! !

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 16: For the Betterment of Gensokyo! !**

[_"What? ! What nonsense is this? !" exclaimed Hourai._]

[_"A threat to Gensokyo? ! A-Alice-sama? !" said Shanghai in disbelief._]

"Hmm… this is quite the turn of events…" Seiga was amused, while Koishi looked on anxiously.

The crowd was likewise bewildered. What could Shiki Eiki probably be talking about…?

"Hmph! Just the response I expected," said Shiki Eiki, "Of course few of you would have noticed… but that's because _you've all been blinded by desire! !_" she denounced, pointing her Rod of Remorse at the crowd.

The audience gasped in shock at the accusation.

"Let me just have a show of hands… How many of you deeply admire that seemingly 'invincible, cool but casually caring' shrine maiden, Hakurei Reimu?" asked Shiki Eiki.

The audience gasped again at the sudden demand, murmuring amongst itself on whether they should response to such a personal question.

"Come on! We haven't got all day! _Answer already_!" urged Shiki Eiki.

A-About a quarter of the crowd r-raised their hands …

"Alright… Now, how many of you simply adore that 'lovely, doll-like, sweetly terse lady', Alice Margatroid?" Shiki Eiki asked.

Again, another q-quarter of the crowd r-raised their hands…

"Now… Finally, Kirisame Marisa-"

A third of the crowd's hands shot up without hesitation.

"… She really is popular huh, that human magician…?" Shiki Eiki sweat-dropped. "Why?" she asked the audience.

And immediately someone answered the call. A young youkai girl, eyes sparkling and squirrel tail twitching, stood up and announced unabashedly, "Because she's just like a shooting star! Kirisame Marisa's just so dreamily cool and shining, isn't she? !" she fan-girled. And immediately a chorus of likeminded individuals sounded their agreement.

Hmm… A fine example to illustrate my point… Thought Shiki Eiki. "Your name?" she asked the young youkai.

"M-Maki… Shiki-sama…" replied the squirrel teen.

"Maki-chan… If you had a choice," began Shiki Eiki, "Would you like Marisa to go out with you-"

"N-No! N-Never!" Maki vehemently denied even before Shiki Eiki finished her question, "I'd never go out with M-Marisa-sama…"

"Hmm…? And why is that?"

"B-Because I'm no good for her… She's out of my league…" Maki sorrowfully said, and several members of the audience pitied her, with words of encouragement like 'Don't think like that, Maki-chan!' and 'I'm sure Marisa-sama will be happy if she knew how you felt!' being shouted out for the poor girl.

"Then who do you think is good enough for Marisa?" Shiki Eiki asked of Maki.

"… Ah! W-Well… If you're making me say it, Shiki-sama…" Maki twiddled her fingers, "I… I think Reimu-san and Marisa-sama make a cute couple-"

"_Whaaat? !" _came a rather loud objection from the back. Everyone turned around to see another young youkai standing up, her cat ears straightened skeptically.

"You don't honestly think that Reimu-san makes a good partner for Marisa-sama, do you? !" cried out the cat girl, "Everyone knows that the delicately cute, bookish Patchouli-sama is the better partner-"

"Please! Patchouli? !" mocked Maki, "You must be like the _only one _to think that she and Marisa-sama could possibly be together-"

"No she's not!" came another loud objection from another youkai.

"Yes she is!" came yet another objection, "And you're just as stupid as her!"

"Marisa is my waifu! !" announced a daring fox youkai from the front right of the crowd.

A sharp intake of breath and silence.

"_Blasphemy! !"_

"_You're not fit for Marisa-sama to be your waifu! !"_

"_That pervert probably has a body pillow of Marisa-sama! ! Ahhh…! Poor Marisa-sama…! !"_

"ENOUGH! !" came a yell from the centre left of the crowd. Everyone turned to see a furious looking black wolf tengu standing up – a pretty high ranking one at that too, judging by her insignia.

"Marisa this, Marisa that…!" grumbled the tengu, "Have you all gone mad? !"

The bickering young youkai fell silent.

"Hmph… _What's so great about Marisa? ! Alice-sama is way more lovelier than her! !" _howled the tengu.

And immediately the crowd was in an uproar again.

"_Coming home to such a delightful waifu is miles better than some stupid troublemaker! !" _the tengu kept yelling above the din of a crowd turning in on itself.

"_Shameless! !" _shouted another tengu, "_Shameless! ! If there is anyone the tengu should admire, it should be Reimu-chan! !"_

"_Keep your filthy hands of Reimu-sama, you stupid tengu! !"_

"_What the hell is wrong with all of you? ! Would you seriously prefer Reimu in bed instead of the lovely Alice-chan? !"_

"_Idiots! Idiots all! ! You don't make Marisa-sama your waifu, you become hers! !"_

"_I'd want Alice-chan to feed me every day! !"_

"_I'd want Reimu-sama to dominate me every day! !"_

"_Ah~haan~! Marisa-sama~ ! Please come steal my precious thing! !"_

As the crowd boiled and frothed with a sea of arguments about who is what and why, Shiki Eiki, observing from the stage, was boiling and frothing with anger.

"EEENOOOOUUUUGHHH! ! ! !"

The crowd froze as utter silence instantaneously took over. Some were still in the middle of strangling, kicking or punching their peers. Hair was being pulled, clothes ripped.

Then, a hesitant chuckle. For Shiki Eiki, due to height issues, had climbed up and was perched upon the podium in order to better yell at the audience.

"… What…? What? ! S-Stop laughing!" Shiki Eiki demanded of the laughing audience, "Look! You wouldn't remain in order so I had no choice- _Stop laughing! !_ Grr… Why you… YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL! ! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! NO REBIRTHS FOR A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS! ! AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A CUCUMBER! ! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK-"

* * *

"Now, now… Are we clear about this~? No more trouble, okay~?" Saigyouji Yuyuko asked the audience gently, like a loving mother to her children. The audience nodded, terrified of this loving mother.

"Good~!" And with a wave of her hand, Yuyuko vanished the thousands of deathly death-inducing butterflies she had summoned into the air, some just inches away from the heads of tortured members of the crowd. Any closer and they would have become free immigrants of the Netherworld… "Shiki-sama?" she nodded at Shiki Eiki, indicating that it was okay to proceed now.

"Sigh… Thank you, Yuyuko…" Shiki Eiki said, "Well, well… That was a horrid lack of discipline, but it wasn't your fault. I _did _purposely provoke you…" admitted Shiki Eiki to the audience, "What _that _demonstrated was just how much of a peril Gensokyo is in!" she began strolling back and forth on the stage like a lecturer, her Rod of Remorse held in her hands behind her back.

"Everywhere I look, hearts have been stolen and reason robbed from a significant number of Gesokyo's populace! There are people madly, _sickeningly _obsessed with Alice Margatroid, Hakurei Reimu, and Kirisame Marisa!"

The audience was sheepish.

"There are people, _shameless people _I might add, that go about openly proclaiming their love for these three. Others have become repulsively possessive of their beliefs surrounding them! What does Marisa like in a girl? What are Alice's favourite style of underwear? Does Reimu prefer it gentle or rough? !"

From the back, someone murmured to their friend 'Definitely rough'.

"What are their daily schedules like? ! What do they like to eat? ! What body soap do they use? ! If they had a lover, who is it? ! And if not, who is _best for them_? !There have even been fights over disagreements in these beliefs, and at this rate, pretty soon _we'll have wars_! !"Shiki Eiki finished off furiously with a stomp, causing the audience to become a bit uneasy.

Glaring at the crowd, Shiki Eiki seethed, "It's as if all of a sudden, Gensokyo is full of nothing but creepy, _hateful _stalkers! This… This obsession, this _lunacy_ over these three people…! This has got to stop! ! This. Social. _Degeneration_! It has got… to STOP! !" the little Enma looked around angrily, as if daring anyone to say otherwise.

No one did.

"... Good! So you do _understand _just how bad it is! No matter, no matter, I do not blame you… In fact, I feel it is _good _to have the habit of appreciating all things strong and beautiful… It moves one to strive for excellence… which is great! _However_! These feelings have become _twisted_! And thus the reason for this conference!"

"Ladies… Fellow youkai…" Shiki Eiki stopped pacing and turned to the crowd solemnly, "I regret that I must be selfish in my actions, but it is for your own good… I have called this conference to inform you that I intend to take these girls away from you!"

And immediately the crowd became fraught with anxiety. What…? ! Take- What did Shiki-sama just say…?

"Oh do not worry," reassured Shiki Eiki, "I do not mean anything such as taking them away to Hell. No…" and she started pacing again.

"Currently, the way I see it, all the madness stems from the freedom of imagination: The ability for a fangirl to imagine her idol as she sees fit! Since all three of these girls are currently unengaged, it gives fangirls hope, which fuels their fancies and fantasies. Therefore, it logically follows that to reverse this situation, I need only take away that freedom from you!"

The audience was stunned. W-What does Shiki-sama mean…?

"It's simple… How can you possibly daydream about idol's relationships, if your idol already _has one?_"

Horror slowly dawned on the crowd.

"Instead of leaving these three girls open for wooing, I intend to match them up amongst themselves! This will put them out of everyone else's reach _and _limit the damage to _them_, thereby ending all this shamelessness!" Shiki Eiki concluded.

"But… But Shiki-sama!" one young youkai girl stood up desperately, "Th-That will mean that pairings will be set in stone! !"

"Yeah!" said another, "We can no longer fantasise about them! !"

"It's all over!" cried yet another, "Our dreams are crushed! !"

"Why, yes, that's… the idea…" Shiki Eiki blinked.

All of Gensokyo slid into despair.

"I'm sorry, truly I am," said Shiki Eiki, "But if drastic action is not taken, then it will be too late! Fortunately, as an apology for my selfishness, I will grant you some luxury: I am open to suggestions about which pairings should be created."

The audience, upon hearing this, raised their heads. A glimmer of hope…!

"In addition," continued Shiki Eiki, "There is the obvious problem of being unable to form pairs out of just three girls, so I need a sacrifice to complete the group of Marisa, Reimu and Alice."

And immediately, the depressed crowd started frothing with energy again. W-What…? Someone t-to join the ranks of-

"I'll go!" stood up a youkai desperately, "I'll sacrifice myself for the noble cause of keeping Gensokyo peaceful-"

"No, I'll go! !" another was jumping up and down, "It can work! There will be a Marisa x Reimu, and then Alice-sama can-"

"What? !" exclaimed one very appalled youkai in response, "You with Alice-san? ! And who said Reimu-sama is best with Marisa-san? !"

"Shut up!"

"No, _you shut up_! !"

"_Marisa is my waifu_! !"

And a fight promptly broke out. Again.

As the youkai returned to punching and kicking their peers, Shiki Eiki stood there watching with tired anger. Maybe it was a bad idea to open this up to the floor…

"You see, Yuyuko…" Shiki Eiki grimly turned to Yuyuko, "Can you imagine? One day all these irritating souls will die and come to my courts, and I'll be forced to read through all their misdeeds and sins. Every single one of them! Annoyingly whiny fangirl after fangirl, and what is their single greatest regret in life? 'Oh! Oh! I couldn't be with my Marisa-sama…!' Imagine _that_! ! That's your greatest regret after what was supposed to be a meaningful, purposeful life? ! That 'I couldn't be with my idol'? ! Isn't that just ridiculous? !"

"Ahaha… Shiki-sama has it tough, hasn't she?" Yuyuko chuckled cheerily.

"Even now you are still so airy…" Shiki Eiki shook her head, "Yuyuko… you do realise some of these souls will go to you, right? … Alright Komachi," Shiki Eiki instructed her subordinate shikigami as war continued to wage below stage, "Time to pacify the crowd-"

"THERE WILL BE NO NEED FOR THAT! !"

* * *

A startled Shiki Eiki and audience looked up to see who it was that was being so indulgently grandiose. And for the second time that evening…

"Ladies, ladies! Stow away your fists! Show not the soles of your feet! There is no reason to fight for that very reason has been denied to you!"

Remilia was high up in the air, perched on the railings of one of the galleries, her hand extending the offer to Shiki Eiki like a saviour unto the saved.

"I, noble Remilia Scarlet of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, have just the chess piece you are looking for! Despair~! Despair~!" Remilia next gloated to the crowd, "Your one chance to be with your beloved has slipped from you-"

"_Remilia Scarlet! Get down from there! !_" Shiki Eiki scolded her saviour.

The crowd laughed as Remilia, visibly struggling to mask her embarrassment, came flapping down to the stage before Shiki Eiki and Yuyuko.

"… As I was saying…" Remilia muttered unhappily, "I have just what you're looking for... Remember when I came in late today, I said I had a good reason?"

"… Yes, Remilia-san?" Shiki Eiki lethargically asked while Yuyuko giggled.

"Well… As it just so happens, Scarlet Devil Mansion's Patchouli Knowledge is with Alice, Reimu and that brat Marisa!" Remilia revealed with a flourish, "Yes, _all three_…" she clarified, upon seeing Shiki Eiki's confused look, "What's more, she's _in love _with Alice Margatroid! Isn't that convenient?" Remilia said.

"… Remilia-san..." Shiki Eiki began, "Are you saying…"

"It could very well turn out this way, you'd never know?" Remilia examined her fingernails, "My Patchy with Alice, and Reimu can have Marisa. What do you think?" the little scarlet devil leaned in expectedly.

"… Hmm… That's not too bad, Remilia Scarlet," complimented Shiki Eiki, "However… Surely you think too highly of your manipulation skills, Scarlet Devil… Because my intelligence says otherwise," revealed the Supreme Judge of Hell.

"Eh? Y-Your intelligence…?" Remilia was caught off guard.

"Yes… Tengu spies (a.k.a. journalists) have been keeping an eye on Reimu, Marisa and Alice at my request (rather willingly I might add). Even now, they are spying on them, and they tell me that Alice-san does not reciprocate your friend's feelings."

"… _What_? !" Remilia was shocked, "But… But Alice… Sh-She even came to my mansion today! She even came to see Patchy! ! H-How…? ! No matter, no matter… That's what stage two of my plan is for-" at which point she realised that she was revealing too much before Shiki Eiki, and promptly silenced herself.

But Shiki Eiki did not care one bit. "To be honest… Right now?" she tiredly said, "I don't care what the pairings are so long as they work… Remilia-san, can you make this happen?"

Remilia looked at Shiki Eiki in surprise, "Are you… Are you saying you'll leave this to me…?"

"No, not entirely… But we'll go along with your plans," said Shiki Eiki, glancing at Yuyuko, who nodded back.

Remilia grinned, "With pleasure!" she said with a flap of her wings and a curtsey.

"It's decided then!" Shiki Eiki walked up to the front of the stage and announced to the audience, "The pairings shall be as such: Hakurei Reimu will be paired with Kirisame Marisa, and Remilia Scarlet has just told me that Scarlet Devil Mansion's Patchouli Knowledge is available for pairing with Alice Margatroid!"

The crowd, stunned with the sudden decision made _without _their input, erupted at once with both staunch approval and livid opposition.

"Yes! Did you hear that? ! We're getting Reimu x Marisa!"

"It's the best pairing!"

"Finally… A chance for Patchouli x Alice to shine!"

"No! What a stupid decision!"

"Why is that vampire getting her way over the rest of us? !"

"Shiki-sama!" one youkai stood up and pleaded, "What about us? ! What about our opinions-"

"SILENCE! ! _Like I care_! !" yelled Shiki Eiki, "This is my_ judgment_, and it's final!"

An awkward pause.

"I mean it's my_ decision_, and it's final! And I know that was a slip up, don't laugh!"

The audience, not really in the mood to laugh anyways, sweat-dropped. S-Somehow we'd known it'll come to this…

"Remilia Scarlet!" Shiki Eiki ordained, "This is your plan, so naturally you'll lead!"

"Of course," Remilia bowed, grinning.

"Yuyuko," Shiki Eiki turned to the ghostly mistress, "Help Remilia-san advance her plans."

"Let's have fun this time too~!" smiled Yuyuko serenely.

Just then, the doors to the hall were blown apart, and in tumbled urgently a crow tengu, closely followed by another. The first was a short haired brunette, owner of the Bunbunmaru Newspaper, who did voyeurism with journalism on the side – Shameimaru Aya. The second was a brown, long haired girl spotting twin tails, owner of the Kakashi Spirit News, who did journalism with voyeurism on the side – Himekaido Hatate

"Shiki-sama!" the two cried out, "They're on to us!"

"Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli! They're on to us!"

**Chapter End**


	17. Ch 17: Late Entry

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Late Entry**

Even as the Tengu gave their warnings to the conference participants in Hakugyokurou, Kirisame Marisa and Patchouli Knowledge were rushing at full speed towards them.

"Are you sure this is the way?" Patchouli asked Marisa, "From what I've heard, you can only enter Hakugyokurou if you can break the barrier. And even then, you can only _find _the barrier if you know where it is."

"Don't worry, ze! Don't worry!" reassured Marisa, "If we keep flying, we'll eventually get over it!"

"Oh… That's easy- Wait, just like that?" Patchouli was surprised, "That's _too_ easy, isn't it?"

"Of course it has to be easy!" replied Marisa, "Otherwise Hakugyokurou won't get any spirits, will they? Hell imports its residents over by boat, which Hakugyokurou doesn't have. If they make it too difficult, no spirit will find their way there, ze!" she explained.

Patchouli was lost now.

"… I-Is that how it works?" she asked, sweat-dropping, "So… in other words…?"

"Of course, we can get there faster if we know the secret path," Marisa said, "But otherwise, we can easily get there by flying till we drop dead, da ze!"

"Th-That's not funny!" Patchouli exclaimed to a laughing Marisa.

But she needed not worry; the two were almost there.

* * *

Unlike another pair.

"Reimu-san… Your intuition has really dulled, hasn't it?" Alice Margatroid took the chance to goad Hakurei Reimu.

"Shut up, you useless puppeteer!" snapped Reimu, "If you think you can do better, then please lead the way!"

"It's not _my _amulet that led us here," dismissed Alice, and she and Reimu turned to the scene before them.

Lights, merry making, games, music and delicious street food – The annual Human Village's autumn festival was in full swing. And Reimu and Alice were right in the middle of it. Rows upon rows of vendors selling bargain goods, wares and snacks loudly called out to the packed streets full of festive minded people. Laughing children holding with toys and masks ran between the legs of pretty young ladies decked in yukatas, who in turn giggled at the children's antics, who were themselves ogled at by the shy young men. Elderly folk sat on benches at the sides, watching children, ladies and men all, reminiscing between themselves of times when they were that young, and commenting on how fast the kids had grown up. Above them all, the lone moon glimmered faintly behind orange tinted clouds, the stars completely outshone by the festival.

"… Maybe it's a ruse…" Reimu thought out loud.

"Maybe it's a trap?" suggested Alice.

The two looked at each other. Should we investigate this?

"… Sakuya could have discovered the amulet and deposited it here to mislead us…" Reimu's spoke out of sharp intuition, "What do you think, Alice-san? … Alice…?"

"And I promise you this is the most fashionable style of yukata right now!" a kindly old lady vendor was telling an enthralled Alice, "It hugs you right beneath the bust line but the top is left a little loose, so it emphasises your fantastic figure! You can even let the top flare out a little to… Ehehehe…! Let's just that if you have someone you like, this costume will be a sure kill!"

"Oh, I wouldn't dare~!" Alice giggled, "But…~" she held up the yukata with great interest.

"What are doing? !" demanded Reimu, snatching the costume from Alice.

"H-Hey!" exclaimed Alice.

"And what's this?" the old lady approached Reimu, "Another pretty young lady without a good yukata?"

"Sorry, Oba-san," Reimu apologised, "But we don't have time to-"

"Don't be shy, don't be shy! You can rent it for free!" the old lady revealed.

"-don't have time to _DidYouJustSayIt'sForFree? !_"

"Yes, yes!" the old lady grinned, "It's a promotion by this year's festival organisers, to showcase our youths' talents in yukata design-"

"Alice, let's try it on!" Reimu immediately said to Alice.

"… Eh? B-But Reimu-san... what about-"

"_You'reRightItMayBeATrapRemiliaMi ghtBeHereWeNeedToInvestigate Let'sTakeIt_!"

"… Oh well!" shrugged Alice, her own heart captivated with the idea of captivating Marisa's with a nice yukata, "Two yukatas for us please!" she told the old lady.

"Two yukatas for our two lovely maidens it is!" said the old lady.

And that was how Reimu and Alice fell into Remilia's trap.

* * *

Back in Hakugyokurou, the main hall was filled with panic. Shiki-sama had selfishly dragged Reimu-sama, Marisa-sama, Alice-sama and even Scarlet Devil Mansion's Patchouli Knowledge into her horrible, horrible ploy! And now they're realised it and are coming to get us! ! Various individuals of the audience were even on their knees, professing innocence and praying to their idols for forgiveness.

"Aya, Hatate, what do you mean they are on to us?" asked Shiki Eiki of the two tengu calmly.

"Shiki-sama!" reported Aya, "Intelligence reports that even now, Kirisame Marisa and Patchouli Knowledge are heading this way, and will soon enter into Hakugyokurou."

"… How could they have known?" asked Shiki Eiki, "We were careful to exclude all forms of information from them…"

"Apparently," Hatate glanced at Remilia, "They found Patchouli Knowledge's invitation, and it was through it that they knew of this event."

"… Remilia-san, it looks like it was a bad idea to include Patchouli-san in your plot at this early a stage after all…" Shiki Eiki frowned.

"B-But how? !" Remilia was surprised, "Koakuma burned the invitation…"

"Well… It looks like she partly succeeded," remarked Aya, "Because it seems they only know that something is happening here, but not what."

"There's more," added Hatate, "All four discovered Patchouli's invitation, but it seems for some reason Reimu and Alice have headed towards the Human Village, and are currently at the annual autumn festival."

"Aha! So it worked!" Remilia beamed, "That will be my doing, by the way…" she boasted to Shiki Eiki.

"You tricked them there?" asked Shiki Eiki, "Why?"

"Because everyone knows that an autumn festival is one huge bonfire of romance flags!" Remilia said sagely, "It's always like that in mangas! The protagonist's eyes are opened to the heroine's charms in a new light when she wears a sexy yukata, and love blossoms!"

Everyone saved for Yuyuko deadpanned at Remilia.

"Is that the only reason?" Shiki Eiki asked.

"… W-What? Y-You don't think it's a good idea?" Remilia glanced between Shiki Eiki, Aya and Hatate.

"No! I think it's a great idea!" Yuyuko clapped her hands together cheerfully.

"E-Eh? ! Really? !" everyone save for Remilia looked at Yuyuko in surprise.

"Of course! A happy festival is full of partygoers – perfect cover for planting covert agents and saboteurs!" Yuyuko said innocently.

Everyone sweat-dropped.

"That's… rather insidious, Yuyuko…" Shiki Eiki remarked.

"O-Of course! That was my idea from the start!" claimed Remilia.

"Right~? It can work!" chimed Yuyuko, "All we need to do is divert Marisa and Patchouli over to where Reimu and Alice are, and we'll have all four of our little friends in a nice little trap~! Youmu~!" she called for her subordinate.

At once, Konpaku Youmu hurried over to her mistress's side. "Yes, Yuyuko-sama?" she asked.

"I am sorry to have to trouble her again," said Yuyuko, "But will you please bring Reisen-san over? We need another favour of her."

"At once," Youmu left to fetch the lunar rabbit.

"While we're at that, we'll need to gather our matchmakers~!" said Yuyuko, "Remilia-san, do you think Sakuya-san can handle that?"

"O-Of course she can!" Remilia replied with enthusiasm, not wanting to be upstaged by the ghostly mistress, "She's perfect and elegant! Sakuya!"

And immediately, Izayoi Sakuya appeared at her mistress's side. "You called, Remilia-ojou-sama?" she asked.

"Sakuya! We'll need to round up certain people for _my _plans!" Remilia instructed, "Bring me…" she hesitantly turned to Yuyuko, "R-Remind me again…" she sheepishly whispered, "Who do we need…?"

Everyone else sweat-dropped while Yuyuko remained smiling serenely.

"Hmm… How about we start with the following individuals?" she suggested craftily, "The Fortune Manipulator Inaba Tewi, the Unknowable Houjuu Nue, the Imposter Futatsuiwa Mamizou… Oh! And let's see if we can get that Jealously Princess Mizuhashi Parsee to join us…"

* * *

While all this was going on below on stage, Hourai and Shanghai were up in the galleries with Komeiji Koishi and Kaku Seiga, watching with fast growing horror.

[_"Th-they're amassing an ARMY against Alice-sama! !" cried out Shanghai, "She's going to be cornered like a mouse in a trap!"_]

[_"Grrr…! Let me at them! !" Hourai nearly took off, restrained just in time by Koishi, "Let me finish them off here and now! They're all gathered right there!"_]

"No, Hourai-chan!" pleaded Koishi, "You can't! It's too dangerous!"

"Hmm… Predictable, predictable… But my! What a dangerous team!" Seiga admitted with uneasy admiration, "I see, I see… the rabbit Tewi to make infatuation more likely, that nue and bake-danuki to play deceivers, and if they can get that subterranean bridge princess's help, they can spur the girls to pursue their love more aggressively… Haha…" she chuckled, cold sweating, "Dangerous indeed…! This is what I've always hated about Hell… They're all about brute force…"

"Seiga-san! What should we do? !" Koishi asked worriedly.

"Koishi-chan…" Seiga placed a disproving hand on Koishi's shoulder.

"Call me Seiga-onee-chan!" she demanded cheerily.

[_"This isn't the time for that!_" _Hourai slapped away Seiga's hand._] Seiga pouted.

"Sigh… It's easy," said Seiga, turning her eyes to the stage. "It sounds like they've decided to set up the autumn festival as a trap. That's their field of play. We…" she turned back to Koishi, [_Hourai and Shanghai_], "… simple have to rescue your Alice-sama from that field. Warn her of their plans," Seiga pointed up brightly with a smile.

[_"Th-Then we should go now!" urged Shanghai_.]

"Not yet! We've yet to learn everything," advised Seiga.

[_"We have to leave before they do, though! Otherwise we won't make it!" exclaimed Hourai._]

* * *

Back on stage, Youmu had brought along Reisen Udongein Inaba, where she joined Yuyuko, Remilia, Shiki Eiki and three other youkai who were being briefed by Yuyuko. Aya and Hatate had already left to do more reconnaissance.

"Aha! Rei~sen~!" cried out the first youkai, "I always knew you secretly loved pranks!"

"N-No I don't!" denied Reisen, "I don't even know what I'm being called here for!" she said, slightly vexed.

The first was a rabbit youkai, but rather different from Reisen. She was of the Earth, not the Moon, and she was far older in age but far younger in appearance and character. A short little bunny girl with short, messy black hair and a simple, frilly pink skirt – Inaba Tewi, a prankster with the power to manipulate luck. She was also a co-worker of Reisen's at Eientei.

"Take it easy! This will be fun!" grinned the second youkai to Reisen.

"N-No it won't!" exclaimed Reisen, "Not if I'm the one that gets punished for being involved!"

The second was also a long-lived youkai with the looks and mischievousness of a child. Another brunette whose hair reached to her shoulders, this young girl was dressed in a simply, short black dress with thigh high socks. From her back sprouted six, snake-like wings, half of them red and half blue, and another green snake was coiled upon her right arm. Houjuu Nue – a trickster capable of assuming any form.

"Good evening, Reisen-san," greeted the third youkai.

"…! G-Good evening…" after the first two, Reisen was a little surprised by the politeness of the third.

The third was a brown-haired, glasses-wearing tanuki girl, a newcomer to Gensokyo, and as at ease with it as any other long time denizen. She sported an ecru coloured blouse, red skirt, and a khaki coloured pinafore, and the top of her head featured a single green leaf. A not-too-easygoing, not-too-serious person – Futatsuiwa Mamizou, a sociable bake-danuki that excelled at disguises. Also, from Sado.

"Reisen-san~!" went Yuyuko, half greeting and half pleading, "I'm so sorry to always bother you, even though you're only helping me temporarily."

"A-Ah…! D-Don't think too much about it, Yuyuko-sama…" Reisen would rather she did though… "W-What do you need of me?" she glanced between Yuyuko and Remilia.

"Reisen-san, we need your lunatic eyes to mislead Kirisame Marisa and Patchouli Knowledge," instructed Remilia, "As you must have heard, they are on their way here right now. We need them to go to the Human Village's autumn festival instead."

"If they make it here and find out what's going on, Marisa-san will probably get mad and Master Spark everyone~" added Yuyuko cheerily.

"Th-That'll be bad, w-won't it…?" fretted Reisen. W-What about me though…?

"Oh, don't worry~!" mind-read Yuyuko, "Youmu will go with you! If anything happens, you'll help protect Reisen-san, won't you?" she asked of Youmu.

"I swear upon my blade, Yuyuko-sama!" swore Youmu. "I-It may be troublesome... But we'll be fine, don't worry!" she whispered a sheepish apology to Reisen for her mistress's plots.

"Sigh…" Reisen closed her eyes, "… I guess I have no choice then!" she reopened them, and they shone brilliantly crimson like blood soaked moons.

"Then let's go!" Youmu said, and Reisen and Youmu rushed out of Hakugyokurou.

* * *

[_"Ah! They've started!" cried out Hourai._]

"No, don't worry…" Seiga motioned for Hourai to calm down, "Those two are going after Marisa-san and Patchouli-san…"

[_"Th-Then we've got to go after them!" panicked Shanghai, "Otherwise, Marisa-sama will be in trouble-"_]

[_"Which is more important to you? !" Hourai demanded of Shanghai, "Saving Marisa-san or saving Alice-sama? !"_]

[_A startled Shanghai looked down guiltily._]

"We'll just have to hope that Marisa-san and Patchouli-san won't fall for their tricks…" Seiga thought it unlikely though…

"I-I think we've risked enough time here…" Koishi said, "Seiga-san… We'd better go…!"

"… It'll be a long way from here to the Human Village," Seiga warned.

[_"Then all the more we should hurry!" said Hourai._]

And so Koishi, Seiga, [_Hourai and Shanghai_] too left Hakugyokurou as fast as they could fly.

* * *

"Ah… It's too bad Mizuhashi Parsee-san refused to help us…" lamented Yuyuko.

"Heh… It'll be alright!" snickered Tewi, "The three of us will be more than enough, won't it?" she looked around at Nue and Mamizou. Nue gave a mischievous grin, while Mamizou merely shrugged.

"Okay! You three know what to do?" receiving nods from the three youkai, Remilia then threw out a hand, "Then _Team Phantasmal Love Destiny_, move out!" she commanded.

No one did. W-What a horrible name…

"Oh come on! Humour me for a bit!" Remilia pouted.

Chuckling good naturedly, Tewi, Nue and Mamizou took their leave, leaving Remilia, Yuyuko, Sakuya and Shiki Eiki on the stage.

"Alright…" Shiki Eiki turned her eyes to the remaining audience. Having been left out of most of the decision making processes, the various youkai had nothing left to do but to gossip and wager on what outcomes there would be – In other words, an excuse to drink and party some more.

"I suppose this concludes things," Shiki Eiki said clearly, catching the attention of the partying crowd, "There is nothing left but to hope for the best. With luck, we will be able to restore some semblance of sense and reason to Gensokyo, and keep the potent attractiveness of Marisa, Reimu and Alice at bay… With that, this conference is ended-"

"Is… it…?"

Everyone turned to see who it was. Squarely in the centre, like a gardener surveying her plants, stood a dreamy lady in a billowing chequered vest and dress, with a breezy, long sleeved, light pink blouse and yellow ascot. There was no wind in the Netherworld, at least not by design, but her short, wavy green hair framed her sharp face like soft grass of windy plains. Behind her back, in the manner of a cane, she held a slender white parasol.

"You're assuming… that everyone will simply, quietly agree to your plans?" asked the lady of Shiki Eiki, her scarlet eyes softly threatening.

Shiki Eiki frowned, while the youkai around the lady became apprehensive. Not _this _trouble maker… she thought

"… Kazami Yuuka," Shiki Eiki addressed the lady.

"… And just what do you think _you're_ doing, manipulating _such_ _lovely flowers_ like that…" Yuuka leered smilingly.

"_Those flowers are not yours to do as you please…_"

* * *

"RAN! ! RAAAN! ! !" came shouts of exasperation through the Yakumo household. Ran stirred in her futon with slight irritation. Yawn…~ T-That can only mean that Yukari-sama's discovered the-

"RAN! !" Yukari came bursting through the door into Ran's room.

"… Yukari-sama…" Ran sleepily rolled over, drawing her robe tighter over her chest, "It's getting late, and I have to get up early tomorrow-"

"Never mind that right now! What's this? !" Yukari thrust forth the invitation card to the conference at Hakugyokurou before Ran's eyes.

"… I tried to tell you about it-"

"It says here that they're pairing up Marisa, Reimu and Alice! Reimu, Ran! _Reimu_! !" exclaimed Yukari, "And why is Yuyuko letting them do that at _her place_? !"

"… To be honest, Yukari-sama, I don't know what _you're _thinking half the time, let alone your friend-"

"No, no, no, no, NO! ! I-I've already picked five intelligent, _dashing_ men for you, Reimu!" Yukari was panicking, "Countless generations of tending to the Hakurei women's needs… And _now _that stupid Enma _dares _intervene? ! Wait for me, Reimu!" Yukari opened a portal to Hakugyokurou, "Yukari-onee-chan's going to save your marriage- I mean, your future!"

And into the portal she vanished, leaving a deadpanning Ran.

**Chapter End**


	18. Ch 18: Intentions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Intentions**

"Kazami Yuuka…" Shiki Eiki's jade eyes met Yuuka's scarlet ones steely, "You'd better not cause any trouble here!" she warned.

"My, my… Assuming me to be looking for trouble before I've even said anything…" Yuuka smirked, "_Shiki-sama_, I've been sitting here and listening quietly to your oppressive plans for long enough…"

"O-Oppressive…? !"

"Hakurei Reimu… Kirisame Marisa… _Alice Margatroid_…" Yuuka lovingly purred each name, "The beautiful one… The shining one… _The adoring one_… Flowers like these don't deserve to be plucked and arranged by _anyone… _They ought to be left free in the fields, to be loved and admired by all… Isn't that right, everyone…?" she slowly swept her gaze about the audience, a small, tempting smile accompanying it.

The youkai were transfixed, uncertain whether to fear or admire the Flower Master.

"… I'm well aware that my plans are disagreeable to some…" Shiki Eiki said, "But! Believe me when I say it is for the best-"

"You are right to say that they _are_ disagreeable…" hissed Yuuka, "Some of the stronger youkai here may not care, but there are plenty of youkai here who oppose it, but are too weak to oppose you… I however, am _not._"

And indeed, those youkai who did oppose the plans but were too afraid suddenly found themselves looking up to Yuuka. M-Maybe she means to stand for us…!

"Yuuka… Are you saying I should just let everyone shamelessly fantasize over the three girls? !" Shiki Eiki demanded.

"I am merely requesting you not to tie them up with your little plot…" Yuuka gave a small curtsey.

"… If that's all you have to say-"

"And one more thing…"

Shiki Eiki looked back at Yuuka in surprise. "What?" she asked.

Although Yuuka's eyes leered at Shiki Eiki's, they felt as if they were glaring all around her, "You are mistaken into thinking I speak up for the others…" she smiled.

Terror began to creep on those who dared look up to Yuuka.

"… Make sense!" demanded Shiki Eiki.

"_All flowers belong to me, after all_…" Yuuka's smile began to resemble a sneer.

"Are you threatening to disrupt my plans…?" asked Shiki Eiki, and she and Yuuka stared at each other.

If it were any other youkai, the crowd would be in an uproar over Yuuka's claim, but between the severe glare of Shiki Eiki and the sadistic gaze of Yuuka, most dared not move.

"Haah… Haah… SO! ! THIS IS WHAT YOU LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN UP TO, EH? !"

Startled, everyone looked up to see a portal open several feet above them, and- Yikes!

Crawling through the portal, frothing madly at the mouth, eyes glowering rabidly, long blonde hair dishevelled, exuding an intense killing intent was the ancient and powerful gap youkai Yakumo Yukari.

* * *

"_What is the meaning of this? ! What is this? ! What ARE you doing behind my back? ! And look at how many of you SNEAKY LITTLE CONSPIRATORS there are! ! Pair up Reimu? ! With that idiotic Marisa? ! Or with that snivelly Alice? ! No…! NO! You can't do that! ! You won't do that! ! REIMU DOESN'T BELONG TO EITHER OF THEM! ! !"_

While most were opposed to Yukari's ranting, some sounds of agreement came from members of the audience who did not ship Reimu with Marisa or Alice. Then…

"_REIMU BELONGS TO A MAN! !"_

And a moment later, thrown out through the front door, bleeding badly from the mouth, eyes bruised, attire shredded and torn, conscience barely clinging was the half dead youkai Yakumo Yukari.

* * *

"_Heretic!"_

"_Blasphemer!"_

"_Pairing Reimu-sama with any other girl is forgivable, but with a man? !"_

The crowd, having beaten up the ancient gap youkai badly, was still aghast and churning with deep anger at what Yakumo Yukari dared spew from her mouth.

"… That was… interesting…" Yuuka gazed blankly out the door where Yukari was booted out with slight amusement.

"You… _all of you…_" Shiki Eiki, however, was far from amused, "_What was that_…? !" she trembled with fury.

"WHAT _WAS THAAAT? ! !_" Shiki Eiki yelled her most monstrous yell yet at the crowd.

The crowd jumped the highest they had jumped yet.

"_Beating up someone that badly just because they expressed a different opinion… Unforgivable… YOU'LL ALL NEVER BE FORGIVEN WHEN YOU FINALLY COME TO ME IN HELL, DO YOU HEAR ME? ! !" _Shiki Eiki shrieked.

The audience backed away in fear. Sh-Shiki-sama's serious this time…

"Huff… Huff… But more importantly…! Thisfurther illustrates to me the need for immediate, drastic action!_" _Shiki Eiki proclaimed to herself, "I _must _remedy this _at all costs_! And I will _not _tolerate any interference! ! Do you hear that, Kazami Yuuka? !" she pointedly singled out Yuuka.

"… Ahh~ I hear it, _Shiki-sama…_" Yuuka smirked. Shiki Eiki's temple twitched with irritation at her tone. "Well…" Yuuka said airily, as she turned towards the hall's exit, "That's that then… I suppose I have no choice but to leave quietly now…" with one last leer over her shoulder at Shiki Eiki, Yuuka left the hall.

"… Well then? !" Shiki Eiki glanced about the audience, "What are you waiting for? ! This conference is ended!"

And she left the stage.

* * *

As the denizens of Gensokyo slowly streamed out of the Hakugyokurou's main hall, chatting about the conference that had just concluded and deciding on how to head home, on the porch of an isolated, small guest building a distance away, Yukari sat with her 'friend', Saigyoji Yuyuko, nursing her wounds. Hmph… And here I was _thinking _of her as a friend… grumble, grumble…

"Ehehe…" Yuyuko was sheepish. She could easily see the very visible displeasure on Yukari's face. Yukari was busy dabbing her bruises with ointment-soaked cotton pad, having refused Yuyuko's offer to help. Even now, Yukari was obstinately avoiding her apologetic gaze.

"Yukari-chan…" Yuyuko carefully approached her literally wounded friend, only to drawback from an annoyed twitch from Yukari, "It wasn't like I was hiding all this from you…"

Yukari winced from the pain from her injuries, but otherwise made no other response.

"A-Are you okay…?" Yuyuko asked concernedly, "I didn't think the youkai would be that ferociously fervent-"

"I've seen worse…" Yukari finally broke her silence grumpily, "I'm not the most powerful youkai for nothing… It was but ant bites to me, just, you know, _a lot _of ant bites… Ouch…!"

Yuyuko frowned, impatient over Yukari's stubbornness and for her forgiveness, snatched away the cotton pad from Yukari.

"I-It's better if I help you with it, so let me!" Yuyuko insisted. Yukari, not ready to forgive her, nonetheless did not stop Yuyuko as she gently attended to her bruises.

"… Yuyuko_-chan_!" Yukari suddenly addressed, and Yuyuko flinched, "Why did you even _let _Shiki Eiki do something like this? At _your _house, no less? !" she interrogated.

"… Y-Yukari… I-I knew you'd be mad if I did something like this but…" Yuyuko looked pleadingly at Yukari, "I uh… I thought it would be fun… It sounded like something big so…"

Yukari had to fight with all her remaining strength not to let out a silly smile.

"… Yuyuko…" she sighed, shaking her head, "So carefree… I've always loved-slash-hated that part of you…"

"B-Besides… Shiki-sama _is _somewhat like my superior, so…" Yuyuko looked like a child trying to justify her mischief.

"Yuyuko… The Enma doesn't have the right to manipulate other people's love, no matter what justification she thinks she has," Yukari said. "Actually… no one has…" she muttered after some reflection.

"…? Yukari-chan…?" Yuyuko knew Yukari was thinking about her own matchmaking actions with regards to the Hakurei bloodline; her face was lined with guilt.

"Yukari…" Yuyuko began, thinking of easing Yukari's conscience a little, "That's different! It was out of necessity that you intervene with the Hakurei-"

"Nnn…" Yukari shook her head, "Yes, well, there's still that practical need but… But for some time now, I'm afraid I've not been doing it out of necessity…" she confessed.

"I… I kind of grew addicted to marrying off the Hakurei girls like my own beloved daughters…" Yukari dipped her head guiltily between her shoulders, her dark gold eyes looking at Yuyuko's ember pink ones like a child caught red-handed.

"… Yukari-chan!" Yuyuko giggled, "So you _were _having fun all by yourself without inviting me, huh, you selfish old granny you!" she gave Yukari a playful shove, to which the deceptively young youkai sheepishly laughed.

Yukari and Yuyuko sat silently for a moment, just enjoying each other's company.

"You know… I've got something else to confess, something I haven't told even Ran about…" Yukari glanced hesitantly at Yuyuko.

"Oh? Tell me," Yuyuko gently smiled at her friend.

Yukari gazed out into the inkiness of the Netherworld's night sky, "Actually… There isn't really any real need for a man to sustain the Hakurei bloodline…" she revealed.

"Ehh… Really?"

"Yeah… The powers ultimately still flow through blood, but only through the mother's side. That's why all the guardians of Gensokyo have always been shrine _maidens_, not shrine _men,_" Yukari explained, "So as long as the shrine maiden can conceive, the next child will inherit her powers…"

"And… there is a way?" asked Yuyuko.

"A couple…" Yukari stretched her arms above her head, "Through the powers of fantasy, a woman may conceive on her own, or even with another woman… There is a mystical river which I know of in a distant land that accomplishes this," revealed Yukari, "There are even rumours that the Outside world's technology has managed to replicate some of these miracles. Well… for awhile now, I've been deceiving the Hakurei… The 'need a man' aspect of the bloodline isn't absolute… It's entirely possible to circumvent…" Yukari scratched her hair uneasily.

"Yuyuko…" she looked at Yuyuko seriously, "Do you know how my Hakurei matchmaking all started?" Yukari asked, "It started because the Hakurei shrine maidens were all so dutiful… So singly devoted were they to their tasks that they neglected to love themselves. Even Reimu is like that, despite her seemingly carefree nature. You didn't see the way she simply submitted when I told her she couldn't have Marisa…" Yukari became downcast.

"Then… why did you do it?" urged Yuyuko.

"… I had this silly little idea…" Yukari aimlessly traced her finger on the bit of porch next to her, "… that maybe having a family could remedy this. You know, a wife with a loving husband, and children to love in turn… Maybe a 'good ol' fashioned family' could… let the shrine maidens have more of a life outside their duties… And for awhile it worked rather nicely…" Yukari propped her chin on a hand and gazed out into the distance.

"… But Reimu-chan's different, isn't she?" Yuyuko smiled.

"Hmph…! That girl… Who would've known that love had actually managed to find her…!" Yukari grinned to herself. "I… I suppose the next time I see her, I should apologise for all the things I said to her… But I hesitate to let her know she can have Marisa though…"

"… Because she'll beat you up badly for all the lies you've told, right?" Yuyuko grinned cheerily.

"… More like she'll exterminate me…" Yukari grimaced at the thought."I had no choice!" she insisted defensively, "For all her life ever since childhood, I've been telling Reimu 'a man is necessary'. Imagine how she'd suddenly feel if I told her otherwise now!"

Yuyuko sat chuckling at Yukari's fretting, "Don't worry… I'm sure she'll understand your intentions eventually… Even if she still ends up beating you up!" she laughed some more as Yukari fretted further.

"… However, what that Enma is planning for Reimu is utter nonsense," Yukari suddenly said seriously, "You can't fault Reimu for being the admirable idol she is! That Judge's just being irresponsible! She's trying to resolve all her issues by setting up four girls instead of dealing with the thousands of souls she sees as problematic! Yuyuko," she pleaded Yuyuko with her eyes, "You must tell me what that stupid Shiki Eiki is planning!"

"… I'm afraid I can't do that, Yukari," Yuyuko smiled back an apology, "I'm _in _on this plot, so I can't just betray it so easily... Oh, don't be like that, Yukari-chan!" she urged as Yukari pouted, "When I was in on _your _plots, I never betrayed you, did I?" Yuyuko reminded Yukari, "Although…" she looked up, "Yuuka-san might be willing to tell you…"

Yukari turned around in surprise. Approaching her and Yuyuko, carrying her parasol despite the lack of sun or rain, was Kazami Yuuka.

* * *

"… Kazami Yuuka…" acknowledged Yukari simply.

"My… Y_ou're_ in a bad state..." observed Yuuka of the injured Yukari, "And _why_ does everyone address me like this?" the approaching Flower Master mused, greeting Yuyuko with a nod and a smile, who reciprocated, "It makes me feel as if I'm not wanted around others…" she remarked.

"… Heh… I get that a lot myself," Yukari smirked.

"So do I!" chimed Yuyuko, "I wonder if this is a youth thing?"

"If it is, then they ought to be taught some manners," Yuuka said, motioning towards the empty space next to Yukari, glancing at her to silently ask if she could sit. Yukari merely nodded, and Yuuka took her place next to Yukari, completing the trio of ancient youkai.

"Yakumo Yukari-sama," greeted Yuuka simply.

"You were at the conference?" Yukari asked Yuuka, "You know what they're planning?"

"It's all quite silly, really…" Yuuka became momentarily distracted by a nearby flower garden, "Yuyuko-san… that Youmu of yours is rather good with plants," she complimented, "Maybe I should bring that girl a few flowers to add to the garden…?"

"_Yuuka-san_," Yukari said impatiently, "Tell me what you know."

"In exchange for you taking me with you," Yuuka offered.

"… Hmm?"

"The plot's being carried out far from here," Yuuka explained, "And by now, all the major players have already moved out. It really isn't possible for me to catch up to them now…" she admitted, slightly sheepish.

"… And what will _you _do if I take you with me?" Yukari narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "If I remember correctly, when I first arrived, I heard you say something about 'All flowers belonging to you'… You don't mean to lay claim on Marisa, Alice _and _Reimu, do you? !" Yukari accused Yukari.

"And Patchouli Knowledge, don't forget her," Yuuka added casually.

"… What?" Yukari was momentarily confused by the addition of a fourth girl in the Enma's plot.

"Remilia-san offered her best friend up to Shiki-sama," Yuuka explained.

"… Some friend she is…" sneered Yukari, "But _your_ intentions?"

"… Do Marisa, Alice and Patchouli mean anything to you?" Yuuka asked.

"… No, why?"

"Because if you'll leave them to me, I promise not to touch Reimu."

Yukari stood up and took a few steps away from Yuyuko and Yuuka. Gazing ahead towards the distance, she gave the matter some thought.

"… Marisa too. You mustn't touch that Kirisame girl," still gazing ahead, she added a surprising additional condition.

Yuuka was slightly taken aback, "Kirisame Marisa…? Is she important to you?"

"… Not me… She's important to someone important to me…" admitted Yukari, "But otherwise, do with the other two as you please."

Yuuka smiled, "Fine with me…" she stood up and walked over to Yukari's back, "The edge of the Human Village, at their annual autumn festival. That's where Shiki-sama's little ploy will be," she revealed, "The whole place will be one big trap of love."

Without further ado, Yukari opened up a portal, then glanced over her shoulder at Yuuka.

"Get in," she said.

**Chapter End**


	19. Ch 19: Converge and Conquer

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 19: Converge and Conquer**

"… Ready yourself, Patchy…" Kirisame Marisa warned, as she and Patchouli Knowledge soared through a musty night sky, the low, incomplete moon hanging somewhere vaguely behind the sooty clouds.

"… Are we getting close, Marisa?" Patchouli asked.

"Ah...! Hakugyokurou's just up ahead, ze," Marisa replied, "But…"

"… Looks like we've gotten _too_ close for the fox's comfort…" Patchouli finished for her, and at precisely the same time, the two rolled and dived away from each other, a shock of green energy slicing through where they were a split second ago at the speed of sound! But as soon as the two had dodged, red bullets shot at them in all directions, the trajectories leading the two witches' movements – A trap!

Patchouli however, grazed them all by manipulating the winds into manipulating her light frame, so that she danced about the danmaku like swirling haze. Marisa ricocheted about on her broom like a comet, hitting all the graze spots dead centre. The two witches regrouped back to back and looked up to unseen foes ahead and above, masked by the night and illusions.

"… Missed," dismissed Patchouli.

"Oooii~!" Marisa taunted, "You didn't think you could hit us with that level of attack, did you?"

Before them, a cloak of night tore itself away and revealed, unsurprisingly to Marisa and Patchouli, the culprits Konpaku Youmu and Reisen Udonge Inaba, the former wielding her blades Roukanken and Hakurouken, the latter's Lunatic Red Eyes still glowing bright red from their illusionary use.

"… I suspected as much," said Patchouli.

"Youmu… There aren't many things your sword can cut after all, huh, ze?" Marisa cheekily taunted.

"We missed on purpose!" Reisen retorted, "Those were just warning shots!"

"And besides… I didn't want to soil my blade with the blood of a common thief," Youmu conversationally insulted a grinning Marisa.

"Only a villain up to no good sends assailants," Patchouli said.

"Assailants?" Reisen echoed, "We are but merely servants preventing an assailment!"

"And here I was thinking our 'assailing' will have a smooth a-sailing, ze…" Marisa- Oh god…

"Marisa!" the other three jerked their heads at her, expressions difficult.

"Haha…! Glad to have your attention, ze!" the good-natured magician laughed, "So, Youmu!" Marisa addressed the stern swordsman, "The game's up! Tell us what your mistress Yuyuko is up to!" she pitted her Hakkero against Youmu's katana.

"I should be asking _you_ what _you're _up to, heading to the Netherworld at this late an hour, seeing as you're not dead… yet!" Youmu readied a stance.

"An invitation card was found hinting at an incident, know anything about that?" Patchouli traced a magic circle.

"All you're doing here is inviting trouble!" Reisen pointed her fingers in front of her in the shape of a gun.

Brilliant fireworks of danmaku broke across the musty night.

* * *

"Hey there, little miss! Would you care for some candy? Buy two sticks and you can have one free! All in your family will get one!" A vendor called out to a little, dark haired girl in a pink yukata with white umbel prints as she pranced through the festival streets, closely followed by her mother and father. Or at least, it seemed that way…

"This disguise is perfect!" Inaba Tewi twirled around and spoke happily to her 'mother', Futatsuiwa Mamizou, "Look at me! I feel so much younger!" she flipped her silky hair, which was now long and straight, and spun about with her arms open, her bare ankles poking from beneath her costume.

"… You don't look all that different, to be honest… It wasn't that hard," a glint shone off Mamizou's spectacles as she adjusted them on her nose. She sported long brown hair curled up tightly in large curls, a thick cotton kimono, and she even had a small woven bag to complete her nanny look.

As for the 'father', Houjuu Nue had opted for the look of a portly, slightly middle-aged man with a balding crown, dressed in a simple navy jinbei with thick, white cross-stitching at the shoulders. There was just one problem though…

"Hey, Nue!" Tewi exclaimed.

"What?" asked Nue.

"Why is there _more hair_ sticking out from _under _your scalp? ! Are you using a cap disguise? !" Tewi pointed out.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, I am!" Nue grinned.

"Eh… Isn't that redundant?" Tewi frowned, "You could easily fake that with your powers..."

"But it's great, isn't it?" Nue rubbed her bald cap fondly, "When it comes to faking baldness, classics like these are the best!"

"I know, right~? It makes me laugh~!" Tewi and Nue shared a giggle, and then…

Whack!

"O-Ow! !" Nue clutched at her head, the cap disguise nearly coming off, "Wh-Why did you hit me? ! You're going to blow my cover!"

"At least make sure to tuck in your real hair properly, you idiot! !" Tewi chastised Nue.

"A daughter hitting her father… What kind of daughter are you? !" Nue retorted.

"Now, now… Tewi's at a difficult age~" Mamizou stayed in character, complete with an auntie's hand wave.

"No she isn't!" Nue cried out, with Tewi chortling on the side.

"We should do this more often, the three of us…" Tewi smiled mischievously, "We could easily pull off a few scams like this… Here we are!"

The three of them had arrived before… nothing. They were in the middle of another street, in between stalls and the crowd.

"Is this the centre of the festival? Isn't there too much interference?" Nue asked even as tightly packed groups of people nearly collided with the trio, "Wouldn't you prefer a vantage point to perform your magic from, like a hill or lookout tower or something?"

"Nah… If anyone realises that a magic field is in effect, they will surely first deduce that it's anchored from the centre of the area," Tewi said, "A tower will just make the centre stick out even more… A normal street like this is good," and without further ado, she squatted down and lightly tapped the ground with a finger.

"It's done!" she declared.

"That's it?" Mamizou asked curiously, "It seems rather simple, isn't it?"

"Hehe… If I got serious, all gambling outlets would go bust!" Tewi boasted, "If Marisa, Reimu, Alice or Patchouli so much as enter the parameters of this festival, they will be under my spell!" she proclaimed, "They will be 'lucky' in love! Any of the group will be _fifty_ times more likely to fall for a member of said group!"

"Ah good, because I'm not too sure I can authentically replicate the charms of Gensokyo's infamous Black-White," Nue said, and in another moment she was no longer a portly middle-aged man, but a handsomely pretty young witch, with long golden blonde hair, a charcoal grey yukata with silver frost prints hugging her slender figure. So instantaneous was her transformation, and so dense the human curtain they were behind, that no one noticed the change.

"How do I look as Marisa?" Nue asked Tewi.

"Ooh… I think I'm in love!" laughed Tewi.

"So… what were the pairings we were supposed to be setting up again?" Mamizou asked, stowing away her glasses and revealing Patchouli's face and long purple locks beneath. She was wearing a lavender yukata with an indigo sash to match, and her woven bag had become a dainty silk pouch.

"Mmm! That bust size seems _plenty_ right!" Tewi grinned.

"Eh…? Is _that_ the only thing I've got correct?" Mamizou said in mock worry, unabashedly giving someone else's rather handful breasts a lift.

"Alright, listen up!" Tewi briefed the others, "Right now, that useless kouhai of mine, Reisen, is out there trying not to be killed by Kirisame Marisa and Patchouli Knowledge, while Hakurei Reimu and Alice Margatroid are here! So…"

"I'll go seduce Hakurei Reimu," said 'Marisa' Nue.

"So I guess my target's Alice Margatroid," said 'Patchouli' Mamizou.

"And as soon as we're done with those two, we'll get the others!" Tewi concluded.

"Okay! Let's go hunting!" opened the rabbit.

* * *

"Here! We're here!" Hourai darted ahead towards the Human Village's autumn festival, Shanghai close behind her, Koishi and even Seiga struggling to keep up with the surprising speed of the two dolls.

"Wait! Wait, Hourai-chan! Shanghai-chan!" Koishi called out.

"Wh-What is it, Koishi-sama?" Hourai and Shanghai spun around, anxiety and impatience on their faces.

"You'll draw two much attention if you fly around the streets like that," pointed out Seiga.

"Don't worry about us, we're always like this when we're with Alice-sama," argue Hourai.

"You're not with Alice-san now, though, are you?" Seiga argued back.

"Seiga-san's right," joined in Koishi, "At least stay near me, so that I can keep you hidden-"

"We have no time for that!" and Hourai and Shanghai were off.

"Hourai-chan! Shanghai-chan!" Koishi called out again, to no avail.

"After them!" Seiga was at Koishi's side, urging her to follow, "It won't do any good if we lose them _here_! Really! How will they expect to find Alice-san flying around panicking like that? !"

In followed Seiga and Koishi into the labyrinth of festival stalls, Hourai and Shanghai already worryingly gone from sight.

* * *

"Star Sign! 'Oort Cloud'!" "Metal Water Sign! 'Mercury Poison'!"

"T'ch… Marisa-san's always been rather impressive, and now that Patchouli-san's joined her…" Youmu admitted grudgingly, as she and Reisen flew hard and darted fast amidst the storm of danmaku that were swallowing them up – Marisa's spell card ringing the entire area with an impassable belt of stars that were shooting inwards, and Patchouli releasing wave after dense wave of toxic metal from the centre outwards.

Just like that, the hunters had become the hunted. Fortunately, this was all part of the plan. Unfortunately… _that_ was the plan.

"Youmu-san, Yuyuko-sama sure makes rather ridiculous requests at times, doesn't she?" Reisen complained bitterly, "To lure Marisa-san and Patchouli-san but not hurt them? Who can do that?"

"We can't let ourselves get trapped like this any longer," Youmu urged, "We need to get them to _chase us_," the half-phantom, half-human said.

The problem was that Marisa had experience with duelling Reisen before, and knew that her illusionary eyes could easily misdirect them. Being rarely serious as she was now, Marisa was not even trying any of her flashy linear attacks; she and Patchouli had opted for bombs, bombs and more bombs. And in the middle of their danmaku blitz, the two witches hovered, confidently letting their power do the work – If you cannot be sure where your foe is, hit everywhere.

"We can't simply break out because they aren't coming after us," Youmu said, a little frustrated, "They're making _us _go to _them…_"

"And with them staying put, barraging everywhere, there's no point to illusions…" added Reisen.

"Mmm… What would Sakuya-senpai do?" came an odd question from Youmu, as she returned with danmaku of her own to keep Marisa and Patchouli engaged.

"Eh? Izayoi Sakuya-san?" Reisen looked at Youmu questioningly, likewise firing a quick burst of danmaku and throwing out a few illusionary clones as she narrowly dodged plenty of danmaku herself.

"Ah… As much as I'd hate to admit, Sakuya-senpai's much more quick-witted and crafty…" Youmu thought hard, then stumbled upon inspiration.

"Oh! I got it!" she exclaimed.

"What? What is it?" Reisen asked.

"Reisen-san, can you fool their aural abilities in addition to their vision?" Youmu asked Reisen.

"Mmm… Should be easy, it's just wave manipulation to me," said Reisen.

"Right now, Marisa and Patchouli are staying still in the centre, where they think they're safe, aren't they?" Youmu said, "So… What if we make them _think _they're staying still while they're _actually _moving?"

"… Oh! That's brilliant, Youmu-san!" Reisen grinned, as she and Youmu ducked another barrage of danmaku, "Mmm… But how _will _we get them to move?"

"That'll be easy! I just need you to help me hide a little friend of mine," Youmu requested.

"Eh?" Reisen was confused, "Your… friend?"

"Because I'll be pushing them!" answered Youmu, "Or rather… Half of me will! !"

Drawing both her swords, Youmu put all her energy into them and, with Roukanken and Hakurouken like the wings of a falcon, suddenly jetted across a great distance, slicing all danmaku in her way. Hands gripping her swords tightly, she announced her spell card.

"Hell God Sword! 'God's Flashing Slash as Karmaaa… _Gust_'! !" and Youmu released a mighty slash that instantaneously engulfed the distance she had just covered. From that monstrous sword technique erupted a swirling typhoon of wind and danmaku that blanketed the whole arena and clashed with Marisa and Patchouli's spell cards.

"…! What's Youmu doing…?" Marisa and Patchouli shielded their faces from the biting winds as they countered Youmu's spell card with danmaku hails of their own. Still they stood their ground in the air, preferring to strike down Youmu and Reisen from where they were rather than risk going after the two.

Or… so they thought…

"…? ! O-Oh no!" Reisen, quickly realising what Youmu was doing, darted forth through the chaos and rapidly cast all the necessary illusions on Marisa and Patchouli just in time as, surely enough, the two began moving forwards against their will.

… Because behind the two magicians, blowing desperately like a centenarian on a birthday cake with a candle for each year, was Youmu's phantom half, it's own rather monstrous breaths masked by Youmu's hurricane.

"A-Ahah! It's working, Youmu-san!" Reisen cried out in joy as Youmu continued to duel the deceived Marisa and Patchouli, "It's working! It's-"

Marisa and Patchouli were being blown forth like a battleship with a mission, danmaku still issuing from all onboard cannons.

"...! H-Hang on, Youmu-san! Isn't this too quick? ! Th-They're going too fast! !" Reisen watched in amazement as Marisa and Patchouli quickly rocketed past her (In their minds, it was Reisen zipping past them), Youmu dancing about their danmaku, her eyes screwed up as she focused on dodging, slashing and blowing all at once.

Sh-She's too serious about this! Sweat-dropped Reisen, and soon she was in the odd position of having to chase after the people she was supposed to lure.

Next stop…

* * *

… The Autumn Festiv-

"W-Waah? ! We're here already? !" Reisen exclaimed, the brightly lit streets far down on the ground right beneath her feet. Then she glanced up to where Youmu was still battling Marisa and Patchouli and got another huge shock.

"H-Hii? ! Y-Youmu-san? !" Youmu was all shrivelled up, looking as if she had lost half her weight in water. Her complexion was gaunt, like a corpse's, and her face was deader than a ghost's. It was not because of all the fighting she had to do; the highly skilled swordsman would never struggle with something like that.

It was because of all the vicious blowing her phantom half was doing.

"W-We give, we give! !" Reisen suddenly dashed in between Youmu, and Marisa and Patchouli, putting herself in harm's way as a sign of surrender. The two opposing witches, puzzled, nonetheless stopped, before suddenly clutching their giddy heads as Reisen's visual and aural illusions wore off.

"…? M-Marisa…" Patchouli mumbled dizzily, "Look there…! Isn't that the… ooh… H-Human Village…? !"

"Eh…? S-Since when did we… urk… we move…? !" a woozy Marisa asked.

The sudden change of scenery, at least to them, was nauseating, like being seasick on a boat – feeling movement but not seeing it.

"I-it's alright, Reisen-san…" Youmu croaked as Reisen got to her side, "I-I can still do it!" but she could not, and Reisen had to catch her as she fell limp.

"Y-You can stop now, Youmu-san!" Reisen pleaded the feather-light girl in her arms, "We… We've already accomplished our objective! Look!" she pointed at the autumn festival beneath.

"Ahh… I feel this incredibly light feeling… Reisen-san…"

"Y-Youmu-san! ! Don't ascend now! !"

"Reisen!" rang out Marisa's voice, and Reisen looked up nervously. Marisa and Patchouli were above, looking on her angrily.

"You sneaky little bunny… What is the meaning of this? !" Marisa demanded, "We were just before Hakugyokurou moments ago, and now we're in front the Human Village's autumn festival?"

"It's obvious isn't it…? We've been tricked…" Patchouli softly seethed.

"… Sorry," Reisen gave an uneasy smirk, "But you've realised it too late! This… is Yuyuko-sama's trap!" and before Marisa and Patchouli could pursue, she and Youmu disappeared into the night.

"Damn! That rabbit really is sneaky, ze…" Marisa sighed. Looking down at the festival, she caught a glimpse of…

"Hey, Patchy… Isn't that Reimu and Alice…?"

"Eh? You're right, Marisa…"

Looking up at them in the middle of the festive streets, dressed in yukatas, half-eaten snacks in hand, were Reimu and Alice.

"… Wh-What is that idiot shrine maiden doing here, enjoying herself in the middle of this crisiss…? !" Patchouli muttered irately.

"… A-Almost looks like they're on a date, huh, ze…?" Marisa awkwardly chuckled.

Patchouli shot her an icy glare, "Don't you _dare _raise that flag. My chances are already slim as is."

"Hii…! S-Sorry, Patchy…" Marisa apologised.

"In any case, this definitely confirms that Yuyuko has set up a trap here for all of us…" Patchouli said worriedly, "We'd better get down there and tell them what we encountered."

Patchouli and Marisa glanced at each other, then immediately flew down to join Reimu and Alice.

**Chapter End**


	20. Ch 20: Watch Your Step

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Watch Your Step**

Two young, pretty girls dressed in yukatas of magenta and azure strolled down the festival streets – Magenta for Reimu, and azure for Alice. Both were here to investigate a possible trap by Remilia after tracking her here… Or, at least they knew they were here for that... somewhere in the back of their mind… just awhile ago…

Instead, the usually reserved Alice was shopping around the stalls, delight gracing her face as she looked about her with childish excitement. Reimu, cool as always, had settled for accompanying Alice, following her and watching from a distance like her guardian, sometimes with a small grin at Alice's expressions of joy.

"Hey, Reimu-san, look at this!" Alice held out a bracelet made of small, shiny green crystal beads for Reimu to examine, "What do you think of this? Isn't it pretty?"

"… Let me guess," Reimu crossed her arms good-naturedly, "You're thinking of buying this for Marisa?"

"Ahaha… H-How did you know?" Alice asked sheepishly.

"Sigh… Alice-san," Reimu shook her head, "You've been looking for nothing but things to match Marisa this whole time!"

"It goes well with her blonde hair and yellow eyes…" Alice pouted and put down the bracelet, "And what about you? Aren't you supposed to be her 'lover'?" she leaned in, eyes scrutinising, "Yet you're not buying anything for her?"

"I love her alright, but she's not worth spending money on," Reimu dismissed, averting eyes.

"… You don't _have _money to spend on her, do you…?" a small, mischievous grin broke across Alice's lips as Reimu's expression grew difficult. "I guess that confirms it! I don't know about you, but I'm going to get that bracelet for her- Ah…! Oh no!" To Alice's dismay, someone else had already bought it.

"Haha! Looks like fortune is on my side!" Reimu's arms remained happily crossed while Alice pouted.

"At least I still have money!" Alice threw the penniless and now sour shrine maiden a low one.

* * *

"So… what next?" Reimu asked as Alice led the way.

"Hmm… How about some snacks?" Alice asked.

"Oh… alright… Don't mind me, go get some then," the prideful shrine maiden glanced away.

"… Haha, don't worry, I'll get you a stick!" Alice went over to a dango stall and bought a couple of sticks of dango. "Here Reimu-san, which one do you want?" she came back with her purchase, "I've got a normal Mitarashi one and the last red bean one the stall was selling."

"Um… If you really don't mind, I'll take the Anko one, thanks," Reimu took the red bean one, then realised that Alice was looking a bit regretful.

"… Ahaha… I guess your favourite's also Anko, huh?" Reimu was sheepish.

"No, no, it's alright…" Alice turned away, not looking too happy at all, "I was the one that decided to treat you… S-So be my guest…"

Reimu looked at Alice for a moment, then smiled, "Here, take it! I insist! You bought it after all! I'm not about to be ungrateful just because it's my _rival_ treating me to something," Reimu held out the stick of dango to Alice.

"… 'Rival'…? So you see _do_ me as a threat after all?" Alice brightened up.

Reimu withdrew the dango with a pout, "You can have this dango; you can't have Marisa."

Alice suddenly snatched the dango back from Reimu, leaving the surprised girl with none, "Whether or not Marisa chooses you is not for you to decide," she said defiantly, "Marisa's the one who's going to choose!"

"She… _has_ _chosen_!" Reimu snatched back the dango from Alice, returning the surprise, "She's chosen me!"

"She didn't have a choice then!" Alice made to snatch it back, but only grasped air as Reimu held it far behind and above her head, her tongue sticking out, "Now I'm presenting her… with an _option_!"

"Why you! Are you the type to go after someone else's girlfriend? !" Reimu tried snatching the other dango from Alice as well, and managed to catch hold of Alice's hand holding it, with the effect of bringing her own dango within reach of Alice. The two were locked together, each wrestling the hand of the other that held a stick of dango.

The two traded glares, then suddenly broke down giggling, letting go and glancing at each other warmly.

"Well… I guess I can't entirely disapprove of someone who loves Marisa…" Reimu smiled at her worthy rival.

"Heh… Same here… If I weren't in love with Marisa, I would have fallen in love with the romance between you and her that day Yukari showed up, Reimu-san…" Alice regarded _her _worthy rival.

"Reimu. Call me Reimu," Reimu extended a hand.

"Alice," Alice likewise offered. And the two maidens shook hands.

"Oh, and by the way, Reimu…?" Alice began, "You're still holding on to the red bean one," she pointed to the dango in Reimu's hand.

"…! Oops! Sorry!" Reimu grinned, and the two exchanged dango.

"Mmm…! Sweet!" Alice smiled bliss as she bit into her snack, Reimu watching her with her own small smile as she ate hers.

"So, what should we do next?" Alice asked Reimu as the two walked off, hand in hand-

Woah, woah, woah, woah, WOAH! !

"Hyaah? ! I-Isn't this too much? !" the two girls parted from each other like identical magnet poles. That's a line crossed right there! Being friendly with each other? Okay. But holding hands? !

"W-What's gotten into us all of a sudden? !" Reimu and Alice looked at each other in shock, then immediately turned their backs to each other, Reimu drawing a talisman and Alice drawing a magic circle.

Each ran separate tests, arriving independently at the same startling conclusion.

"Th-There's a magic field here!" Reimu exclaimed, spinning back round.

"You don't think… it's a trap for us, do you?" Alice turned back worriedly.

"Can you tell what sort of field is it?" Reimu asked Alice, "I'm not too good at magic related stuff…"

"… Most likely," thought Alice out loud, "Judging from its construction, it's a probability field, similar to the type magicians use to nudge formulae towards a desired outcome, j-just on a much larger scale… Much, much larger…! Who can do such a thing…?"

"Probability…?" Reimu followed, and the two looked at each other, shocked once again by their identical deductions.

"Probability to fall in love? !"

Just then, fireworks broke out across the sky.

* * *

Reimu and Alice, as well as the rest of the crowd, looked up into the night sky, where colourful fireworks of blues and greens, yellows and reds were splashing the black canvas with brilliant colour and loud noises. But something was odd about it… To say that the fireworks broke out was not entirely accurate, because it seemed as if they were appearing from a distance and growing closer, just at a really fast speed.

"… Reimu… Those aren't fireworks…" Alice said.

"… It's Marisa and Patchouli! Those are their spell cards!" Reimu exclaimed.

"And look! They're duelling someone… I-I see that lunar rabbit from Eintei!" Alice correctly pointed out Reisen.

A huge green flash collided amongst the danmaku fireworks.

"And that's Youmu-san!" said Reimu, "What's _she _doing here? !"

The festival goers were enthralled, but growing uneasy by the second. By now, it was clear to everyone that this was a danmaku battle; danmaku battles were always thrilling to watch, but to the largely powerless populace in the village, they were frightening battles as well. And this one was growing even closer and closer.

"I-It's going to be right on top of us!" Alice gasped. And indeed, the crowd was alarmed now, and just starting to panic.

But they need not worry. As soon as the 'fireworks display' was right above them, it disappeared just as suddenly as it appeared, with only two of the original four combatants left.

"… Reisen and Youmu are gone… Were they defeated?" wondered Alice.

"Somehow it doesn't feel like a victory though…" Reimu cold sweated.

"Hey, look! They're coming down to us! We'd better warn them of the magic field in place," Alice said.

"Right," agreed Reimu, and the two girls dashed ahead to meet the Marsia and Patchouli.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Marisa grinned at Reimu and Alice as she and Patchouli touched down, Marisa dismounting her broom, "Ooah! That was quite a danmaku battle, ze!" she stretched her arms, all satisfied.

"I see you two are enjoying yourselves…" observed Patchouli, eyebrows raised.

Alice and Reimu glanced at each other, then realised that they _were _dressed in yukatas and holding on to half-eaten dango.

"Ah… Ahaha… We got sidetracked…" the two sheepishly admitted. Patchouli crossed her arms with a dry smile, while Marisa rubbed the back of her head with an awkward chuckle.

"B-But it wasn't entirely our fault!" Alice added in defence, "There's a magic field in play here, and it influences-"

Marisa and Patchouli were looking at each other, all starry-eyed.

"Hey… we make a pretty good combination, don't we?" Marisa complimented this delightfully bookish beauty before her, "We… should work together more often, da ze…"

"… If you're want to chase this skirt, you're going to have to put in a bit more effort…" a haughty Patchouli teased as she turned away from the pursuing 'beau'.

"Hora! ! (Look here! !)" two urgent wakeup slaps were given, one from Reimu to Marisa, and one from Alice to Patchouli.

"E-Eh…?" Patchouli clutched her cheek, stunned, "Wha… What just… Hii…!" she yelped as she realised her previous actions. "S-Stay away from me, you pimp witch! !" Patchouli slapped Marisa on her other cheek in disgust.

"OW! ! Wh-What? ! I-I didn't- It wasn't my fault! !" objected Marisa, now clutching both cheeks.

"... Anymore rivals and I may just have to go youkai hunting…" Reimu was muttering darkly.

"A-At least we managed to weed out _that _flag in time…" Alice sweat-dropped, "As I was saying," she told Patchouli and a tearful Marisa, "This entire festival has a giant probability field under it, and Reimu and I think it's to make… well… love more successful."

Patchouli cringed from the revelation. Marisa winced from the pain.

"Patchouli-san, you know Remilia best, do you think this could be her doing?" Reimu asked Patchouli.

"Remi? No… She doesn't have the capacity for studying magic, let alone performing it…" Patchouli thought aloud, "And no one else at the Scarlet Devil Mansion can make such a field, not even me, not at this scale…"

"Nonetheless, Remilia did lead us here," added Alice, "And I don't think that was a coincidence…"

"Oh yeah, we were at almost at Hakugyokurou, but… somehow we ended up here…" Marisa updated, "I think you saw, but Patchy and I were jumped by Youmu, as well as Reisen."

"Reisen even said it was 'Yuyuko's trap'," added Patchouli.

"The bit about Reisen troubles me…" Reimu bit down on her lower lip in thought, "Because if this large 'luck' field really is that difficult to create, even for you magicians, then… it may be ability based…" she glanced at Marisa.

"… That prankster rabbit Inaba Tewi!" Reimu nodded as Marisa reached the same conclusion as her.

"Wait… Let me recap…" interjected Patchouli, "So we've got Remi… We've got Yuyuko… and now you're telling me Eintei's rabbits are involved?"

"J-Just how many people are we up against…?" Alice voiced everyone's concerns, and the four girls stood worrying for a moment.

"… Welp! Target practice!" Marisa whipped out her hakkero and gave it a toss, grinning and choosing to take it in her stride, "I say bring them on, ze! The more the merrier!"

"No, Marisa," Reimu urged, and Marisa looked at her, a little surprised at her cautionary tone, "Usually I'd agree with you, and then we'd go youkai stomping, but we're obviously at a disadvantage here…" she warned. The four girls glanced about the autumn festival they were in, and suddenly it seemed a lot less merry.

"Well then, what should we do?" Patchouli asked Reimu.

"… Split up! Whatever the reason, it's apparent the conspirators want us to be together so that we _can be_ together!" Reimu decided, "We should each make our way out of here, and regroup elsewhere. We can meet at my shrine."

Agreeing all around, the four split up without a moment's hesitation.

… Just as planned.

* * *

A little orange haired girl manning a grilled squid stand grinned as a group of four young girls before her suddenly split up and went their separate ways.

"Ahaha… It's like going up against experienced Shogi players!" the disguised Tewi said to herself, "They may react much more professionally, but they are also that much more predictable! But… that Marisa and Patchouli girl showing up so soon… This is waaay too soon! Reisen _is _useless after all…" Tewi grumbled.

Still, she would consider it smooth going so far. If Nue and Mamizou were going to trick the four of them with body doubles, then it would obviously be easier to do so by isolating them.

"Even if we don't manage to get them all tonight… If we can just plant the seeds of love, I'd say we'd be on our way to sealing these parings in stone, just as surely as this squid will grill upon the fire!" Tewi chimed as she happily turned over a stick of squid.

"_And just as surely as you will stew in soup, little bunny…_" came a chilling voice from the stall manager next to Tewi.

Tewi rigidly turned around. For the first time, she realised that the person she was pretending to work under had green hair beneath her white headkerchief. And gleaming red eyes. And a sadistic twist to her lips.

"Ah… A-Ah…! Y-You wouldn't be…? _You can't be_…? !"

"Inaba Tewi… _You're pretty clever, huh_…?" Kazami Yuuka turned around, smiling, chopping off the tentacles of a squid with a vicious hack from her knife.

Tewi's eyes widened with horror.

"Ah… AAAHH! !"

"And where do _you _think _you're_ going, _ehh_…? !" Yuuka mercilessly caught Tewi by a vice grip to her head, and dragged her out of the stall and behind it, away from the public's view. Giving her head a little more squeeze, Yuuka got Tewi's disguise to dispel out of sheer pain.

"Y-Y-K-Kazami Yuuka! !" Tewi shrieked more than begged, "How did you get here so fast? ! Y-Yowl! ! P-Please! Don't hurt the henchman! I'm only f-following orders, don't hurt the henchman! !"

Yuuka took a moment longer to dryly savour Tewi's pleas, arms crossed before her chest. It was only after awhile that Tewi realised she was free from Yuuka's grasp, and promptly turned to flee-

"Run and I'll have you roasted with mashed turnips and parsley," Yuuka blankly said.

"A-Ah… Y-Yuuka-sama," Tewi timidly turned back to Yuuka, "Wh-What does Yuuka-sama want of me…?" she asked subserviently.

"I want you to foil Shiki Eiki and Yuyuko's plan," Yuuka instructed.

"W-What…?"

"I want you to break the trap you've been asked to make," Yuuka elaborated, "Give Nue and Mamizou bad luck so that they will fail at their deeds."

"E-Eh…?" Although a mischievous prankster, Tewi was not one to betray her friends, "A-Are you asking me to-"

Yuuka suddenly had the cringing rabbit in a vice grip again. "Do it," she narrowed her eyes with some impatience.

"O-Okay! R-Right now!" Tewi quickly did as she was told, "N-Nue-san, Mamizou-san… I had no choice, I'm sorry!" she tearfully said.

Yuuka let go of the pitiful bunny and stared out to the moon in the sky, imagining burying her nose in the sweet, flowery scent of a certain young girl's hair.

"I've done what you've asked of me, Yukari-san. Now… Let's see if I can have what I seek, huh…?"

**Chapter End**


	21. Ch 21: Just My Luck

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Just My Luck**

"Alice-samaaa? Alice-samaaa?" Hourai and Shanghai desperately called out as they hurried through the crowds, the festival entering the early hours of the morning. Heads turned in surprise at the sight of the two tiny little girls flying through the air. Luckily for the two dolls, most assumed them to be fairies, because… dolls can't be alive, right…? In any case, youkai and fairies were not uncommon encounters to the humans of the village, but there was some risk to Hourai and Shanghai exposing themselves like that.

"… I'm sensing hostility towards the two from some of the humans…" Komeiji Koishi told Kaku Seiga worriedly as the two pursued the frantic dolls. They were having trouble keeping up, especially with the large crowds in the way, and they couldn't simply just fly either or that would expose their identities as youkai; the only known flying humans to the villagers were Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya and Youmu (she counts as one to them), and even they did not fly as a rule while in the village.

"Those reckless children!" Seiga showed visible irritation for the first time, "They're rushing about blindly! That's not going to achieve anything!"

"… Seiga-san, are you concerned for them?" Koishi asked Seiga, a knowing smile on her lips. 'Children'…?

"W-What…?" Seiga was taken aback by the mere suggestion of such a possibility, "N-No!" she denied vehemently, "I just think they're being inefficient, that's all-"

"Hmm… Seiga-san seems to be the type who's not used to being appreciated~!" Koishi chimed and weaved ahead of Seiga through the crowd. Seiga stumbled to a pause, dumbstruck, before recovering herself and giving chase obstinately, annoyed with having left her guard wide open.

"Koishi-chan! You mistake me! I'm a professional! A wicked professional!" she cried after Koishi, "I have _ulterior motives_! !"

"And why _won't_ you call me 'Seiga-onee-chan'? !"

* * *

Houjuu Nue, currently disguised as Kirisame Marisa in a lovely charcoal grey, silver-printed yukata, was stalking the streets for her quarry, Hakurei Reimu. To be honest though, she was not particularly looking forward to the meeting, despite her earlier mischievous enthusiasm; she had little idea on how to fool Reimu, known to be one of Marisa's closest companions.

"Well… Let's just hope that Tewi's magic field does its job…" Nue said to herself, "If my disguise is blown, it may come down to a danmaku battle with Reimu-san, and that's going to be a pain to fight out…"

Just then, Nue heard cries of "Alice-samaaa? !" and startled. Running up to a corner of a stall, she glanced round and saw two dolls flying through the air, closely followed by a young girl with silver hair and a black bowler hat, as well as…

"S-Seiga? !" Nue drew back, "What's that no good hermit doing here? !"

A quick background note: Kaku Seiga was an associate of Toyasatomimi no Miko, a recently resurrected human Taoist saint, who's group was at odds with Nue's own, the Buddhist youkai priests and devotees of Myouren Temple. In fact, Nue was the one who brought in Mamizou from the outside world, thinking her powerful friend could help prevent the saint's resurrection, although by the time Mamizou had arrived it was already too late… Damn flight delays…

"What's Kaku Seiga doing here…?" Nue repeated to herself anxiously, "She's got to be up to no good! And those dolls… They were looking for Alice Margatroid!" Nue glanced around the corner again, although by now Seiga and her group were gone, "… Those dolls must belong to Alice-san… She is a puppeteer after all… Gasp! Are they planning to warn Alice-san of the trap? !" No good… Could this mean that the plot was compromised…?

"Crap… I may be in trouble… Better get out of here!" Nue decided to head down a different street instead.

Another turn and down another street later however, and Houjuu Nue ran into an even more serious problem.

"Hyahh? !" "W-What…?"

The imposter 'Kirisame Marisa' ground to a halt, her mouth agape with shock, her actions and expressions completely mirrored by the _real_ Kirisame Marisa.

* * *

In other news, on the other side of the festival…

"… I suppose this simplifies introductions, right…?" asked 'Patchouli Knowledge' of Patchouli Knowledge, "After all, there's no real need to introduce one to oneself, is there?" she smiled calmly.

"Yeah… There really is no need for introductions," replied Patchouli Knowledge to 'Patchouli Knowledge', "So I suppose we can skip those and get straight to the interrogation?" she asked quietly.

"Hehe… What makes you think I'll come quietly with 'myself'?" retorted 'Patchouli Knowledge', and she turned tail and ran.

"H-Hey! Wait!" the real Patchouli gave chase as Mamizou, still disguised as Patchouli, quickly widened her lead.

"What's wrong?" she taunted at Patchouli over her shoulder, annoying Patchouli a great deal, not least because she was being smirked at by her own face, "The real thing not as good as the fake?"

"Coward! St-Stop- Huff…! Stop right there!" wheezed Patchouli, "Someone, stop her!" she implored the bystanders as she struggled after Mamizou. But the crowd were busy being confused at the sight of Patchouli chasing Patchouli. Ehh…? Sibling trouble…?

"She's not my twin! She's an imposter!" yelled Patchouli, but no one came to her aid. "Oh, forget it!" and the witch took flight, surprising the crowd. Forget running…!

"… Heh… Well, there's our little plot in shambles…" Mamizou objectively observed as she confidently scampered away from the chasing witch.

* * *

"… A-Ah… I-I can explain…" began Nue cautiously. Marisa though, simply advanced on her with unblinking wonder, causing Nue to take a few steps back in fright.

Nue was still disguised as Marisa, still dressed in that beautiful printed yukata. Keeping her identity hidden may very well be the only thing keeping her from being Master Sparked…

"H-How…?" a frown formed on Marisa's face.

… Should I run? Nue did not though… She could very well be blasted mercilessly from behind.

And so slowly, slowly, Marisa cornered Nue against a tree in a secluded spot of the festival. Nue, her escape blocked now, could only slide her back up against the tree, her hands grasping shakily at the course bark, her face turned up and away in fear as Kirisame Marisa leaned in, scrutinising her face.

"… Who are you?" she asked simply.

"A-Ah…! Uh… I-If I tell you, will you forgive me…?" Nue pleaded, "I mean… It was just a bit of fun- I-I mean I was put up to this by someone else!"

"Eh…?" Marisa cocked her head to the side, "I only asked for your name, ze…" she breathed.

"… Eh?" went Nue.

Marisa gently laid her hands on both of Nue's shoulders.

"… N-NUEH? !" went Nue, "M-Marisa-san…? !" she exclaimed, flinching and shivering.

"H-Huh…? !" Marisa startled as well, and her grip on Nue's yukata tigthened, "H-How do you know my name…?" she averted eyes from Nue shyly.

Something sprung within Nue's heart, but that was overwhelmed by confusion in her head. D-Doesn't Marisa recognise herself…? Thought Nue.

"… I-I'm glad though… That you know me…" Marisa muttered, her golden eyes reflected in Nue's own as she glanced up at her timidly. A heavy blush was on both girl's faces, their chests thumping.

"I-It's the first time I've seen such a handsome girl as you, ze… M-My heart's going mad!" the love struck magician confessed in a small, shaky voice.

"… T-TEWIII! ! !" Nue, in between the tree, Marisa, and her own crazy heart, decried the stupid bunny's name to the heavens, "WHY THE HELL DOES YOUR MAGIC FIELD MAKE PEOPLE FALL FOR THEMSELVES? ! ! !"

* * *

Reimu hurried through the festival, turning a few corners here and there and glancing behind her to see if she was being followed. If she was, it would provide a good opportunity to corner someone and demand answers. But so far, nothing out of the ordinary was spotted… She, Marisa, Patchouli and Alice had split up in the four cardinal directions; Marisa to the south, Patchouli to the east, Alice to the west and herself to the north.

As she made her way through the crowd as fast as she could in her rented yukata, concerns continuously floated before Reimu's conscience. Remilia led me and Alice here… Yuyuko sent assailants after Marisa when she and Patchouli tried to go to Hakugyokurou… The rabbits from Eintei had a hand in this as well… Could that also mean that Eintei itself was involved…? So many people… So many things have happened… And all apparently just to try to create pairings between us… What's the connection…? What's the motive…? !

"Reimu…?"

Reimu turned around and- Punch! Reflexively punched the despicable face that appeared before her eyes.

Onlookers looked on curiously as Reimu confronted a stumbling Yakumo Yukari, herself in a rented yukata of lavender.

"_Yukari? !_" Reimu shouted at the pained gap youkai, "You're the one behind this! It's you, isn't it? !"

"W-What…?" Yukari held one hand in a plea for mercy, her other clutching her face where she was punched, "N-No! You've got it wrong!"

"_Then what are you doing following me? !_" Reimu demanded.

"I… I came to tell you that I know what's going on! All these incidents! I-I know what's going on, Reimu, and I can tell you!" Yukari said, "Please, Reimu-chan, you have to believe me!" she implored.

"W-What…?" Reimu backed up, confused, "Yukari… How do you expect me to believe you? !" she advanced upon Yukari again, accusing her, "Besides… I… I haven't entirely forgotten, nor forgiven, what you said that day you interfered with me and Marisa…" she said with quiet anger.

"I-I know… and I'm really sorry for that… There's so much on my part to explain, but please, trust me for now!" Yukari beseeched, grabbing hold of Reimu's left hand with her own.

"…! L-Let go of me! You expect an apology to resolve everything? !" Reimu grasped Yukari's hand to force it to let go, but then she noticed that it was covered in bandages.

"… Yukari…? W-What happened to your hand…? Who did this to you? !" Reimu could not help but look into Yukari's eyes with concern.

Yukari, seeing Reimu's concern in her eyes, could not help but smile guiltily.

"I'm sorry for everything Reimu… I really am…" she sincerely told the stunned shrine maiden.

"... Y-Yukari…?"

"And aside from that…" Yukari looked away uneasily, "Ah… How should I break this to you…?"

"This whole incident? It's a conspiracy from Hell."

"… What? !"

* * *

Reimu and Yukari were seated on a bench, Reimu learning forwards, her head resting on her hands, eyes staring into the crowd but not looking, her mind still struggling to get over what Yukari had just told her. Of how she was injured by the youkai at the conference in Hakugyokurou. Of how there were hundreds who were in on this incident. Of how the conference was organised by no less than the Supreme Judge of Hell, one of the Enma, Shiki Eiki. Of how…

"T-This is preposterous!" Reimu suddenly sat up and looked at Yukari incredulously, "What does that Enma mean by 'I'm a societal hazard to Gensokyo and I'm responsible for the shameless behaviour of all the other stupid fangirling youkai'? ! H-How is this _my_ problem? ! Looks like someone is begging for me to teach them a lesson!"

"I-I know… That's how I felt too…" Yukari tried to placate the raging shrine maiden, "In fact, I would have taught them a lesson myself if I wasn't so ridiculously outnumbered-"

"Yukari!" Yukari flinched as Reimu rounded on her, "Are you sure _you _have _absolutely nothing_ to do with this?" she demanded, "It sounded as if you were careful to exclude any involvement on your part…"

"N-No! I really have nothing to do with it this time, unbelievable as it may sound… H-Honest, Reimu-chan!" Yukari pleaded her dear shrine maiden as Reimu continued to silently interrogate her.

"… Fine… I believe you…" Reimu gave Yukari's injuries a worried glance, then sighed. Yukari too sighed in relief.

"However…" Yukari flinched again as Reimu began threateningly, "_Yuyuko_ had something to do with this, didn't she…? She did allow Shiki Eiki to use Hakugyokurou as a venue…"

"A-Ah… Her involvement was small…" Yukari defended her friend, "All she did was-"

"Yukari… Marisa tells me Youmu and Reisen were the ones that misled her to this trap. Youmu, Yukari… Yuyuko's servant," Reimu said.

"… Forgive her, will you?" Yukari implored hopefully.

"No," shot down Reimu.

"For my sake-"

"That makes me want to forgive her even less!" Reimu was without pity for the crestfallen gap youkai.

Just then, from around the corner, came fleeing a yukata dressed Patchouli Knowledge, closely pursued by a normally dressed Patchouli-

"W-What? !" Reimu and Yukari stood up in disbelief as the two Patchoulis ground to a halt before them, "What's going on here? !"

"… Ah… It gets worse, huh…?" sweat-dropped the first 'Patchouli', "I may be in real trouble here…" the disguised Mamizou told herself.

* * *

"W-What the…? ! W-What are you doing! !" Marisa shoved herself away from Nue, stumbling backwards as Nue was slammed further into the tree.

"O-Ouch! I could ask you the same thing, you promiscuous witch!" Nue retorted. Nue had just dispelled her disguise; keeping it on may very well cost Nue her chastity. Strangely though, she chose to continue appearing in a yukata, except this time it was midnight blue with dark red hatch lines. Can't lose the festive spirit no matter what…

"P-Promiscuous- Why does everyone accuse me of being like that, ze? !" Marisa red facedly denied being such.

"… Do you _really_ not know why…?" Nue blushingly eyed her with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

"If all of you will just stop messing with me, these kinds of things will stop happening! Oh, I've had enough with all these schemes!" Marisa pulled out her hakkero.

"W-Wait!" Nue raised her hands and begged, "Don't shoot! I'll tell you everything-"

"Love Sign! 'MAAASTEEER… SPAAAAAARK'! ! !"

A sudden giant laser pierced though the clouds, a shining rainbow of love for all to embrace.

* * *

"… She's the imposter!" pointed the two Patchoulis at each other. The identical magicians had suddenly appeared before Yukari and Reimu, except one was in her usual pyjama-like gown, and the other in a yukata-

A paper talisman went flying into the face of the one in the yukata, resounding like steel being hammered, sending Mamizou flying through the air and into an astonished vendor's stall, her disguise unravelling along the way.

Bystanders backed away in fear as Reimu advanced upon Mamizou.

"… You really expected me to be tricked by a simple disguise like that?" Reimu asked dryly, hoisting Mamizou by the collar.

"… No… but I expected you to be tricked by this!" alarmed, Reimu turned to look at the 'real' Patchouli, only to be shocked as she tore of her gown to reveal herself to be… Mamizou!

"…! Then? !" Reimu looked down urgently at the 'Mamizou' she was clutching, and… Poof! The disguise wore off in a puff of smoke and mirrors to reveal…

"H-Hii! ! P-Patchouli-san? !" Reimu quickly supported the limp Patchouli by the shoulders, a huge and still growing swell on her head weighing heavily against Reimu's conscience.

"This just hasn't been my day…" Patchouli groaned bitterly as Reimu frantically apologised over and over.

"I-It looks like you were a bit hasty, Reimu…" Yukari sweat-dropped, "And you, that wasn't half bad…" she grudgingly complimented Mamizou.

"Yakumo Yukari-san," Mamizou greeted cordially, "Looks like this is the first time we meet in person. Even in the outside world, where only the toughest youkai remain, your name precedes you."

"Futatsuiwa Mamizou-san, was it?" returned Yukari, "Rumours are you're strong yourself."

"I prefer to think of it as 'savvy'," Mamizou smiled, "Strength has waning relevance outside; shrewdness is the new law…"

Everyone jumped however, when suddenly a giant pillar of multi-coloured light erupted from a distance in the festival.

"… M-Marisa…" Patchouli murmured, nursing her head wound.

"…! That was Marisa's Master Spark!" exclaimed Reimu.

* * *

"…! That was Marisa's Master Spark…!"

Elsewhere, Reimu's words were echoed by Alice, the one person yet to run into any incidents as she made her towards the west side of the festival.

"But… Who's she fighting…?" the puppeteer stopped in her tracks and gazed upon the laser pillar in the distance worriedly. Should I go and help her…?

"No… Staying together is the goal of this trap… I should make my way out and regroup as agreed… But what if Marisa's in trouble…?" Alice continued to hesitate, unsure of what she should do.

"_Why not come with me, then?" _a chill made its way down Alice's spine as a caress rested on her shoulder.

"…!" Spinning around, Alice gasped and frantically backed away from the green haired woman in an apron and white headkerchief before her.

"… K-Kazami Yuuka? !" Alice quickly summoned her makeshift familiars of one clown puppet and one stuffed toy dog.

"… That's cute…" Yuuka smiled at Alice's weapons of choice, "And in a yukata, no less…!" her eyes hovered about Alice's collar greedily.

"T'ch…! What are you doing here? !" Alice demanded of the Flower Master, clutching her yukata tighter about her.

"… Hehe… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ! _Found you…_"

**Chapter End**

* * *

**I remembered a long time ago, at the end of Functioning Alcoholic, I'd said that I'll write shorter fics… pant…**

**… And it's still not done yet! Still got some ways to go… still got some ways to go…**


	22. Ch 22: Screw Subtlety!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Screw Subtlety!**

"… You'd better have a good reason to be here, Kazami Yuuka!" Alice Margatroid found herself uneasily confronting the flower youkai. All around them, passers-by were glancing at them nervously. There have been many strange incidents today, not to mention the gigantic laser explosion that happened just a moment ago…

"… You don't want to create anymore of a ruckus here now, _Alice-chan_…" Yuuka serenely warned.

"I don't want to hear that coming from you!" Alice shot back, "I asked you, Yuuka! What are you doing here?"

"You're mean, _Alice-chan_! I came to save you…" Yuuka suddenly became downcast.

"… Eh? S-Sav- What are you talking about? !" Alice's guard only tightened against Yuuka.

"… You know, there _was _a trap here, until _I_ dispelled it," Yuuka took a step forwards, and Alice took a step back, "There were a very many evil people plotting to manipulate you…" Yuuka spat, anger turbulent just beneath her face, "But… I_ took care of it_, so you _don't have anything to worry about _now…" Yuuka's anger suddenly dissipated, leaving only a gentle smile as she offered a hand for Alice to take.

Alice guard went up even more, "And I'm supposed to believe you just like that…? !"

Yuuka said nothing, her smile an eerily patient one.

"… Alright… Say I believe you," Alice said, "Say it's true that you did help protect me… What's your intention in doing so?"

"… Heh… Come with me and I'll tell you, _Alice-chan_…" Yuuka took another step forward. Alice's makeshift familiars came between her and Yuuka, although their intervention was not threatening in the least.

"… You don't have a choice, _Alice…_ What do you expect to do to me without your usual legion of dolls…?" Yuuka smirked at the girl, before laughter crept to her face, and soon she was openly laughing hysterically.

Alice looked on at the maddened flower youkai before her, chills running up and down her spine. "H-Have you finally gone mad, Yuuka…?"

"Ne~?" Yuuka suddenly stopped and eyed Alice curiously, "Won't you be mad too if lots of people tried to mess with your _beloved flower…_?"

With but a split second of hesitation, Alice turned and ran from Yuuka. I… I can't defeat her like this…! She thought with frustration. I need help! And instinctively she ran towards where Marisa's Master Spark had appeared.

"… Alice-chan…" Yuuka was disappointed, "Just how should I get through to you…?" she murmured to herself. Then the Flower Master looked up, eyes blank, "Looks like I'll have to be _a bit more assertive_…" she purred.

Yuuka strolled down the street after Alice, groups of frightened people hurrying to get out of her way.

* * *

"…! Shanghai-chan! That was…!"

"Ah! I-It's Marisa-sama!"

Hourai and Shanghai stopped and turned towards where a giant rainbow laser had shot up towards the sky in the distance, as did most of the festival's crowd.

"Hourai-nee-chan!" Shanghai turned to Hourai hopefully, "Do you think that Marisa-sama might know where Alice-sama is?"

"But… But wasn't Marisa-san on her way to attack Hakugyokurou?" Hourai recalled.

"M-Maybe that ghost Yuyuko-sama's diversion worked?" suggested Shanghai.

"No doubt about it! I knew she'd get misled no matter what…"

Shanghai and Hourai turned to see an annoyed looking Seiga catch up to them, Koishi close behind.

"Finally stopped flying around aimlessly, huh, you two…" Seiga continued, chiding Shanghai and Hourai.

"But…! But Alice-sama…!" argued the two dolls.

"Yes, she's in danger, but tell me, have you found her yet?" Seiga asked crossly, and the two dolls looked down sadly.

"Ah…! Don't be upset," consoled Koishi, "Look! That laser was definitely Marisa-onee-chan's, right? That at least gives us a lead! Come on, let's go look for her!" urged Koishi, "Maybe she knows where Alice-onee-san is! The two are good friends after all, right?"

"Not to mention both are targets of Shiki Eiki's plot…" added Seiga, "Don't forget, that idiot Enma plans to pair up Marisa-san with Reimu-san, and the last we heard, Reimu-san was also here in the festival together with Alice-san... What?"

The two dolls were looking at Seiga in blank surprise.

"Seiga-san… Why are you being so devoted to helping us all of a sudden?" they asked.

"…! Oh shut up! Do you not want to save your master?" Seiga snapped, turning away to hide a mild blush.

"I… I just find all of this interesting, that's all!" she muttered, "I-It breaks up the boredom of my long life!" Seiga glanced over her shoulder defiantly and made the mistake of locking eyes with a knowingly grinning Koishi.

"…!" Seiga quickly turned away again, lost for words for what was probably the first time in centuries.

"… Hey, Seiga-_onee-chan_…" Seiga's jaws dropped as Koishi pranced up to her side, her wish suddenly being granted, "We don't have a lot of time, do we?" Koishi asked, Shanghai and Hourai close behind, hands tightly holding back snickers.

"… What are you two being so obnoxious about…?" Seiga's eyes narrowed at Shanghai and Hourai, who only shook their heads, their eyes doing the smirking for their hidden mouths. "Sigh… I guess you're right, Koishi-_chan_…" Seiga gave the giggling little satori a bop on the head.

"… Screw subtlety!" and she, Koishi, Hourai and Shanghai hurriedly flew towards Marisa.

"And the next evil plot you three encounter will definitely be mine!" Seiga huffed as the others giggled.

* * *

Koishi's little group were not the only ones forgoing discretion; Reimu, Patchouli, Yukari and Mamizou were rushing through the air towards Marisa too. By now, it was evident to most of the humans at the festival that something was wrong… something big. Panic was spreading through the crowd, and festive goers were seeking to get out of the festival. Some of the stall owners had even closed shop and bailed out. Authorities arrived on the scene, although they were at a loss at what to do with the reports of fights between allegedly powerful youkai happening right on the Human Village's door step.

"You! Why are you following us? !" demanded Reimu of the tailing Mamizou.

"You seek to reinforce your friend. I too, aim to do the same," Mamizou simply replied.

"T'ch…!" Reimu threw Mamizou a few amulets to shake her off, but Mamizou simply dodged them.

"Forget her, Reimu!" said Patchouli, "We can worry about her after we get to Marisa!"

"So it's come down to a fight, huh?" Yukari remarked, "Should have known it would be like this… that stupid Shiki Eiki's not very good when it comes to subterfuge, is she…?"

"Who's Marisa fighting? !" Reimu interrogated Mamizou.

"If I were to guess? Most likely Nue…" Mamizou frankly admitted, "Tewi shouldn't be engaging any of you directly."

"What? ! Nue, as in, _Houjuu Nue_? !" Reimu glanced at Yukari, alarmed, "That pesky shape-shifting youkai…?"

"Told you there were a lot of people in this…" Yukari said.

"So Inaba Tewi was really the one behind the magic field, huh…?" muttered Patchouli.

Reinforcements for both sides were rushing quickly to the scene of battle.

* * *

Except… There wasn't one.

"Hah… Hah… M-Marisa-san…?" Nue, having moved to dodge Marisa's gigantic laser attack, found it unnecessary, although she was still quite shaken by it; Marisa had intentionally missed and fired at the tree instead, cleaning taking out half of it.

"… You…" Marisa put down her hakkero and secured the brim of her witch hat over her eyes, "There's no point fighting you, ze…"

"… Eh?"

"Well… You're being a pain in the ass right now, but I just so happen to know that there are bigger fish out there that are the true perpetrators…" Marisa glanced away in thought, "Remilia… Yuyuko… This time, you're just one of the henchman, ze…"

"… M-Marisa-san…" Nue looked at Marisa in wonder.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to let you off the hook," Marisa's face dipped from view behind her hat as she reached behind and casually pocketed her hakkero, "It's just that I need answers; that's all there is to it."

Nue could only keep staring, her cheeks as crimson as her wide-opened eyes. S-So this is what the real thing is like…

"Besides… I know how it feels like… That need for a little mischief… And I've got to say, all this mischief of yours and your fellow conspirators has gotten us _pretty_ _good_, ze…" Marisa looked Nue in the eye and gave her a grudgingly admiring grin.

Tewi's lucky field of love was no longer in force, and Nue was never a target of it anyway. Yet… Y-Yet…!

"So!" Marisa swaggered towards Nue, "Tell me everything you know, and I _may _just be in the mood to forgive you, da ze!" she beamed with cheeky confidence.

"… Ah… M-Marisa-san… Gulp… I…"

"Marisa!" "Nue!"

Marisa and Nue looked up as Reimu, Patchouli and Mamizou arrived.

"Are you alright?" the three asked of the two, Reimu and Patchouli to Marisa, and Mamizou to Nue.

"M-Mamizou!" Nue exclaimed, red faced, "I-I'm alright, nothing's happening here!"

"Reimu, Patchy! You're too late, ze!" Marisa cheerily greeted, "I just nabbed one of the culprits! Relax, I've got everything under control- Y-Yukari? !" Marisa startled as Yukari appeared next to Reimu.

"You!" Marisa's composure was immediately replaced with hostility, "What's she doing here? !" she asked Reimu, her eyes and hakkero already fixed on the target before her.

"It's alright, Marisa! We can trust her for now!" Reimu told Marisa, and Marisa reluctantly stood down.

For now…? Yukari raised an eyebrow wordlessly, a bit hurt.

"Get behind me," Marisa turned only to find Mamizou having placed herself between her and Nue, "Stay back Nue," Mamizou urged her friend.

"N-No, Mamizou! It's alright! We're not fighting!" Nue held the bake-danuki back, and Mamizou looked at Nue in surprise.

"_You're _the one that's late," Patchouli said to Marisa, as she, Reimu and Yukari descended to her, "Yukari-san's already told us everything."

"Yeah, all this is Shiki Eiki's doing," Reimu explained, "Apparently, she's trying to prevent some sort of societal collapse… At least that's what the delusional Judge thinks…"

"Wait, what? !" Marisa doubled back, "Did I hear you right? Shiki Eiki? ! _She's_ the one behind this? !"

Before Reimu could answer though, the answer presented itself.

"Ahh~ Shiki-sama really is a pain in the neck at times, isn't she…?"

Everyone looked up, stunned. Floating in the air before them was Shiki Eiki's very own subordinate shinigami, Onozuka Komachi, flanked by the tengu journalists Shameimaru Aya and Himekaidou Hatate.

* * *

"You…! You're that ferryman…" began Reimu.

"Ah, and to think there was a time when I grumbled about being the Sanzu River guide," Komachi shrugged, "Man, after this, never again will I complain about work… You two can leave now, thanks for showing me where they are," she told Aya and Hatate.

"Fine with us, your boss didn't pay us to fight for her," and the two tengu fled, leaving the pink haired, busty shinigami alone.

"Oooii~! You two!" Komachi next turned to Nue and Mamizou, "Thank you so much for your hard work! Now get to safety, this might get a little messy…"

"What's this? The Sanzu River's boatman thinking she can confront all of us at once?" Yukari looked up at Komachi cynically, Reimu, Marisa and Patchouli readying themselves by her side.

"I don't think I can, Yukari-sama, I _have to_, have pity on me…" Komachi sighed. Scratching the back of her head, Komachi pulled out a scroll, "Ah… Since the trap failed, Shiki-sama has a message for you," she explained.

"Ahem… Hear this!" Komachi announced high up in the air, "This, uh, is an official edict from the authorities of Hell! Hakurei Reimu! Kirisame Marisa! Alice Margatroid! Wait, she's not here…" Komachi glanced about her, "Ah, never mind then! Also, Patchouli Knowledge! The four of you are hereby ordered to pair up together in the following couples, colloquially known as Reimu x Marisa, and Alice x Patchouli. You are to, cough,_ happily and lovingly_ stay together _as instructed_ (Who am I kidding?), thereby discouraging all other suitors/stalkers. Your greatly appreciated cooperation will be most beneficial to the harmony of Gensokyo's society! Failure to comply will be met with swift retribution!" Komachi rolled up the scroll, gave it a sceptical look, then tossed it aside.

"You know, personally? I'd just let all of that slide from memory, like I do most of Shiki-sama's lectures," she scratched her ear.

Everyone, even Nue and Mamizou, just stood there dumbstruck.

"… Now this _is just_ _stupid_…" Yukari murmured.

"… W-What the hell _is _Hell thinking…?" Nue gagged.

"Ah… That isn't very refined of Shiki-sama, is it…?" Mamizou commented uncomfortably.

"Hey… Is Shiki Eiki being serious…?" Reimu quietly demanded of Komachi.

"Ah, she is, I'm afraid. Quite," Komachi twiddled her one of her twin hair bobbles awkwardly.

"Quit screwing with us! Who the _hell _does Hell think it is? !" Marisa stepped forwards.

"I take no offense with my proposed pairing," Patchouli added with quiet anger, "But… I do take offense at how Hell thinks it can have its way with me, not to mention my friends…" she glared at Komachi.

"Woah, woah! Don't kill the messenger!" Komachi put up two hands, grinning nervously, "So… that's a no?" Komachi tentatively asked. Drawn spell cards were the replies.

"Sigh… I _told _her pairings don't work this way! Shiki-sama…" Komachi lamented her boss, "Well… Looks like a confrontation is unavoidable now…" and suddenly, with a twirl, her giant scythe appeared in her hand behind her back, its huge, imposing blade extending out from beneath Komachi and curving upwards beneath her feet. A shinigami, surrounded by her own silvery crescent moon.

"… She doesn't seriously think she can fight all of us, does she…?" Reimu frowned, "We've duelled her before, and she wasn't particularly hard to beat," she remarked to Marisa.

"Yeah… What's she up to?" Marisa said.

Before _that _answer could be discovered, a problem presented itself.

"M-Marisa! Patchouli! Reimu!" in came flying Alice, having ditched running as well amidst all the chaos in the festival, looking as if she were fleeing from something.

"Alice…! What's wrong-" the other three froze in uncertainty as, pursuing behind Alice, was one Kazami Yuuka.

* * *

"Yuuka! W-What are you doing here? !" Yukari demanded.

"… Now her? What a pain…" Koishi rubbed the back of her neck.

"Ara, ara~ Yukari-_san_, still with that tone of greeting," Yuuka confronted all as Alice ran to Marisa's side, "What are you saying? You're the one that brought me here…"

"What? !" Reimu looked at Yukari crossly, "You brought her here? ! Yukari! You didn't tell me this!"

"I… She helped me out, so…" Yukari began, then turned to Yuuka, looking betrayed, "Yuuka! None of this is your business!"

"No, it isn't, you're right," Yuuka answered serenely, "But _she _ran here…" Yuuka pointed at Alice.

"Alice…?" Marisa glanced at the defenceless puppeteer unconsciously tugging at her sleeve, "What do you want from her? !" she demanded from Yuuka.

"I want _her,_" Yuuka's crimson eyes lit up at Alice, and Alice glared back in response.

"Stay away from Alice!" Patchouli furiously warned, but Yuuka simply laughed it off.

"Heh… And Shiki Eiki thought she could stop crazy stalkers by simply pairing the girls up…" Yukari muttered.

"That's not fair, _Yukari-san_…" Yuuka hissed, "Lumping me together with all those other weepy fangirls… My love for Alice is _real…_" Alice gritted her teeth as Yuuka turned her eyes back on her, "You have _no idea_ how _pained_ I was to hear that poor Alice was to be strung and played like a puppet… _Too bad I couldn't just openly kill that Judge, could I…?_"

Suddenly, an objection came in the form of a large, pink sickle of energy ripping through the air, deflected only just in time by a blast of magical energy from Yuuka's hand.

"Sorry, Yuuka-san, but my orders are pretty clear on this one," Komachi said, giving her scythe a twirl and a shake, scattering residual energy from its blade into the air like drawn blood, "Shiki-sama warned that you might interfere, and I'm not to let you," said the shinigami.

"Yuuka! Stand down! You can't take all of us!" Yukari beseeched as she, the three magicians and Reimu confronted her with spell cards.

"She won't have to."

The group glanced up in surprise as Mamizou and Nue suddenly went over to Komachi's side.

"Sorry, but your disagreement with Yuuka-san is your own," Mamizou continued.

"Yeah, and I still have Shiki-sama's orders pertaining the four of you," Komachi told Reimu and company.

Nue was averting eyes apologetically, but nonetheless remained with her fellow conspirators.

"…! A-A three way fight? !" Reimu and the others were caught off guard.

Yuuka grinned, "Fine with me…" and she extended an arm, charging up yellow energy not unlike Marisa's Master Spark – The original Master Spark!

"T-This isn't good…!" was all Reimu could utter before spell cards flew all over the place.

**Chapter End**


	23. Ch 23: Scatter

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 23: Scatter**

"A-Ahhhh! ! Y-Youkai! ! Youkai are attacking the village! !"

"Run for your lives! !"

"L-Look at how many there are…!"

Panic was spreading amongst the festival goers like wildfire as stray danmaku bullets peppered the earth. It was all Yukari could do coordinate as many portals as possible, absorbing danmaku that threatened to strike the fleeing villagers. Alice, unable to fight without her dolls, helped usher as many of the humans out of the festival as possible.

Up in the sky, the groups of Mamizou, Nue and Komachi, and Marisa, Reimu and Patchouli were both engaging Yuuka- No, that's inaccurate… _Yuuka _was the one actively going after both groups…!

"Yukari!" Reimu shouted over as she made a pass over the gap youkai, leading a stream of Yuuka's yellow danmaku that exploded on impact like blossoming chrysanthemums, "We've got to protect the humans!"

"I know! I know!" replied Yukari impatiently, her concentration at its hardest, "Sheesh… a youkai like me defending humans…? You walking foodstuffs really are useless huh- Eh?" Yukari unwittingly bumped into a fleeing man as she manoeuvred about. The man, slammed onto his rear on the ground, looked up at Yukari in sheer terror.

"…! D-Don't eat me! !" he pleaded.

"_Get out of here already! Do you want to die? !"_ Yukari snarled, and mercilessly teleported the hapless man to heaven knows where.

"Where's Reimu-sama when you need her? !" some of the villagers cried out.

"Look! She's already there fighting them!" one pointed out in response.

"We're saved!"

"Go get them!"

"Look! Marisa-sama's there too!"

"Do you think Marisa-onee-chan will defeat them all?" asked the young girl that Alice was leading away to safety.

"Sure she will, but you don't want to stay around to find out… Come on!" Alice urged the girl to run on ahead to safety. Just then, the ground before them grew brighter, and the two turned around to see a large, red orb blazing towards them, escorted by a dense curtain of green bullets.

"Give it a rest!" Alice threw out the stuff toy dog between her and the danmaku. Since it wasn't armed, all she could do was channel her energy into it and… BLAM! ! The toy dog exploded in a brilliant star-blue explosion, clearing away all the danmaku.

"… Got all of them, you're safe now- huh…?" Alice turned back to the girl only to see her backing away in fright.

"Y-You killed the doggy!" cried the girl as she ran away from Alice.

"… Where are my dolls when I need them…?" Alice sighed, a little hurt.

* * *

Hourai and Shanghai, as well as Koishi and Seiga, glanced about them in surprise as panicked crowds stampeded past them, away from where Marisa's position was. In the direction where they were headed, up in the sky, fought six- No, seven figures! Danmaku saturating the sky and taking the place of the ill visible stars.

"W-Wha…? What's going on now? !" Shanghai stared, paralysed at the ongoing war.

"I've never seen so much danmaku at once before…!" Koishi gasped.

"If we put out all the lights, it'll still be as bright as day…" Seiga cold sweated, "Doesn't delight me to say it, but there's bound to be casualties with this much chaos…"

"Alice-sama? ! Where's Alice-sama? ! I don't see her!" Hourai panicked, and she and Shanghai began hysterically looking around.

"…! Look out!" Both Koishi and Seiga leapt before the distracted Hourai and Shanghai, as well as the other terrified human onlookers as a shower of stray danmaku headed their way. Koishi scattered what looked like ink, from which quickly sprouted streams of rainbow coloured pellets, colliding and cancelling out most of the danmaku. What was left was stopped cold by a point of Seiga's hairpin, who redirected them with a flick of her hand to the side, with an explosion touch to finish.

The villagers gazed upon their saviours. "Y-More Youkai…?" they uttered, frightened.

"… I'm a _hermit_, you fools!" Seiga rounded upon them furiously, and the humans fled twice as quickly as before.

"…! A-Ah! Wait! Come back! I didn't mean that, I'm sorry!" Seiga frantically shouted after them, "Come practice Taoism with with me!" she was regretting chasing away possible converts.

"S-Seiga-onee-chan! We don't have time for this- _Seiga-onee-chan? !" _Koishi's reproach of Seiga was interrupted as she was suddenly yanked away by the arm to safety by Seiga, more danmaku blitzing past.

"Watch out, Koishi-chan!" Seiga had shouted.

"O-Oh no!" cried out Shanghai and Hourai, the danmaku going straight for the fleeing humans. But it was too late! The danmaku exploded and…!

And… the villagers checked their persons in wonder. Every single one of them was unscathed. But the danmaku… Didn't it explode right next to us…? They looked up at Seiga and Koishi, confused. Are… Are those two youkai on our side…?

But Seiga and Koishi were in just as much wonder. "Was that your doing, Koishi-chan?" Seiga glanced at her.

"N-No, Seiga-onee-chan…" Koishi shook her head, "I didn't do anything…"

"I didn't do anything either… but the humans are unharmed…?" Seiga murmured, lost in thought. Just then, a stray pellet grazed her hand.

"OW! !" Seiga clutched her wounded hand.

"Seiga-onee-chan! Are you hurt?" Koishi fretted.

"I'm alright! It's just a small injury!" Seiga dismissed. So… only the villagers are untouched by the danmaku, huh…? "Come on! We best keep moving!" Seiga gestured to Hourai and Shanghai to follow, "We'd better find your master quickly!"

"R-Right!" Hourai and Shanghai snapped themselves alert and armed themselves with lances and shields, flanking both Koishi and Seiga as they made their way towards the danmaku battle.

* * *

"Dammit! What do they think they're doing? !" Marisa exclaimed as she weaved through the blizzard of danmaku. Her fighting style was drastically different from before; instead of shooting massive amounts of bullets, she was attempting to snipe out her opponents with fast but precise lasers. "Yuuka alone is bad enough ze, but doesn't Hell's team care about who they hit? !" she angrily remarked of Komachi, Nue and Mamizou. All four were launching spell card after spell card with little regard for the human populace.

"It's just like Yuuka to have little care for living things that aren't plants," Patchouli beside her said, "But something else is weird… Look!" she pointed at the ground. It took awhile for Marisa to realise, but although the ground was being cratered by all the danmaku, the festival stalls were strangely unscathed. Not a single lantern was smashed, no wood splintered.

"What in the…? Harmless danmaku…?" Marisa was puzzled. Patchouli purposely shot several water jets at an empty stall; her magic impacted, but still the stall stood whole.

"…? ! D-Does that mean I won't get hurt if I simply charged in? !" Marsia glanced excitedly at Patchouli, then immediately set off in a beeline for Komachi.

"W-Wait, Marisa!" Patchouli called out, "Something's off-"

"Yow!" Marisa narrowly missed eating a face full of danmaku as she ducked, her hat having being shot straight off her head by a high speed coin.

"What in the…? ! _Selectively harmless _danmaku? !" she exclaimed in surprise, catching her hat smoking hat as it fell. Oh damn! There's a huge hole in it…!

"I'll have you pay for that, ze!" Marisa shouted angrily at the culprit Komachi, who put off her attack on Marisa to laugh at her.

"Now, now! That's a lesson for your hasty assumptions!" Komachi sidestepped a laser blast by Yuuka, who in turn became preoccupied with an impromptu alliance of Mamizou and Reimu against her. "Can't have innocent casualties on Hell's part, now can we?" she said, "Shiki-sama was very clear on that, since there will be tons of paperwork to fill in should anything happen…" Komachi shrugged.

"How considerate of you to at least protect the villagers," Patchouli remarked as Yukari joined her and Marisa. But just how was she doing it…?

"It's simple!" Komachi read Patchouli's mind, "You can't hurt what you can't hit, and you can't hit what you can't reach!" she riddled.

"What? ! You mean I've been protecting the humans for nothing? !" Yukari was feeling cheated.

"Don't say that ze! At least everyone has a better opinion of you now!" Marisa grinned, and Yukari soured.

"And with that out of the way… Death Song! 'Ferriage in the Deep Fog!'" a flood of gold and silver pieces shot out from Komachi's hand, like jackpots from fifty hellish slot machines, "Oh…! I hope I can fully claim my expenses for this fight…!" Komachi fretted as she sought to make swiss cheese of her foes with hot, hot money!

"Sheesh! I feel _so much _like an _idiot_ for holding back, da ze!" Marisa went straight for the gold, adrenaline rushing, and…

"Magic Cannon! 'Finaaal SPAAAAAARK' ZE! !" The dreams of men all around the world grovelled in pain as Marisa vaporised all the precious metal with a giant blast of energy bigger and more colourful than even her Master Spark.

"Wooh! That felt gooood, da ze!" Marisa let out a sigh of satisfaction, "So, what's next?" she taunted Komachi.

"My, my~ You're rather energetic, aren't you?" Komachi grinned back.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yukari had gone to help Reimu, who was now locked in a three cornered fight between her, Mamizou and Nue, and Yuuka.

"Looks like the villagers don't need my help, after all," Yukari told Reimu, "I don't know what that Komachi girl is doing, but whatever it is, it's working."

"It's still no good though!" Reimu gritted her teeth as she and Yukari struggled to keep all three of their foes in view, "We're having trouble dealing with so many opponents, and this fight's going to cause a lot of unrest in the village, to say the least! We need to stop it! Help me, please!" she asked of Yukari.

Yukari gazed upon Reimu's pleading face, touched at being turned to for help by the usually obstinate shrine maiden. After some thought, she suggested, "Well, you could all simply retreat through my portals; you four girls are the targets after all, so that will deprive Komachi and Yuuka of their goals. I'll stay behind to handle this rabble," Yukari smiled.

Reimu's eyes widened upon Yukari's face, "Yukari… A-Are you sure?" she asked concernedly, "If it's just Komachi and her partners, I wouldn't worry, but Yuuka's here too…"

"Heh… Since when did you worry for me so much? Besides… Yuuka being here's my fault," Yukari placed a hand on Reimu's shoulder, and Reimu startled, averting eyes defiantly as she blushed.

"F-Fine…! Then let's do it, Yukari!" Reimu said, "I'll go tell the others!" and she sped off to find Marisa, Patchouli and Alice.

Yukari's smile lingered, then without hesitation, she deftly made her way higher towards the centre of the sky arena.

"Hey!" she called out to both Yuuka and Komachi. The two turned towards her, bullet showers following suit.

"Hmph!" Yukari opened up four portals dismissively absorbing the attacks with two and returning them back with a vengeance. Surprised, Komachi and Yuuka had no choice but to dodge, ceasing their attacks at the same time, with Mamizou and Nue following suit. For a moment, the fighting broke up as Reimu, Marisa, Patchouli, and Alice regrouped together.

"Yuuka! I think we've let you berserk enough here!" Yukari told off the Flower Master, "And Komachi! Tell your idiot of a boss Shiki Eiki that she's _not _going to get what she wants, at least not here!" she rebuffed the shinigami.

"Can't do that… Shiki-sama won't take no for an answer, and I'd rather save my own hide than the hide of others…" Komachi shrugged.

"Silence, Yukari! We had an agreement! I won't stop until I get what _I_ came for! !" Yuuka growled.

"… That's all good and well, but how about I show you a magic trick first?" Yukari pointed up with a smile, Reimu and company forming up behind her. Komachi and Yuuka doubled back, puzzled.

"It's a classic… You're going to love this!" Yukari snapped her fingers, and portals appeared underneath the four girls.

At once, Komachi and Yuuka lurched forwards, realising what Yukari was planning.

"How's a vanishing act sound to you?" Yukari grinned.

* * *

"…? They've stopped fighting?" Koishi, Seiga, Shanghai and Hourai arrived beneath where Yukari and all the others were in the sky.

"… Looks like Yakumo Yukari has got the attention of all the others," Seiga observed.

"…! Look! There's Alice-sama!" Shanghai pointed out excitedly. And she was right. There was Alice, floating behind Yukari along with Reimu, Marisa and Patchouli.

"Wait…! What's that…?" Hourai started forwards as four portals opened up beneath her master and her companions.

"Seems like Yukari-san's intending to take them to safety, seeing as how Alice-san and the others aren't putting up any resistance…" Seiga correctly guessed, "Mmm… That would be the smart thing to do here… The whole point of the fight is the four girls, after all…"

Hourai and Shanghai glanced at each other in surprise. Alice-sama… Being helped by the infamous Yakumo Yukari…?

Just then, however, a flicker appeared behind Yukari and… Wham! Blindsided the gap youkai with a vicious blow to the head with a white parasol, sheer delight and malice oozing from the maddened sneer on the assailant's face.

Hourai, Shanghai, Koishi and Seiga started forth, jaws dropping in horror.

* * *

"Yukari! !" Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli cried out as Yukari started falling from the sky, her falling body revealing… Kazami Yuuka? ! No… There were two Yuukas! The one that struck down Yukari was grinning hideously, while the other in the distance was hysterically triumphant. Marisa and Reimu clenched their jaws furiously. Shit… How could we have forgotten about Yuuka's clones…? !

"HAHAHAHAHA…! ! Howabout I show _you_ a switcheroo, _ehh_…? Now… _for a vanishing act of my own_!" both Yuukas extended their arms and charged up twin Master Sparks, one for Reimu's _little group_, and the other to _further grind Yukari into dust…_! !

"NO! !" Marisa sped forwards on her broom as Reimu and Patchouli sprung before Alice, the latter two deflecting one Master Spark with combined shields, the former scooping out Yukari just in time from the other one.

"Yukari… Yukari, you hag, you alright?" Marisa asked the weakened youkai anxiously.

"… What was that about 'hag'…?" Yukari mumbled in pain, and Marisa sighed with relief at her response, "Yuuka, that bitch…!" she cursed, then suddenly clenched at her head as the pain sharpened.

"Yukari… Yukari, hang in there! W-Wha…?" Marisa and everyone else glanced about in shock as suddenly numerous portals began opening up randomly all over the place.

"Ah… A-Ahhh…!" Yukari groaned.

"Yukari…! Yukari, your power is going out of control!" Marisa urgently exclaimed as Reimu, Patchouli and Alice rushed to her side. From a distance, Yuuka, Komachi, Mamizou and Nue looked on, uncertain of what to do.

"The boundaries… I-I didn't fully close them…!" Yukari grunted.

"T-Take it easy, Yukari!" Reimu reached out to comfort Yukari, but her hand did not make it as suddenly Reimu was swallowed up by a gap.

"Reimu! !" Marisa, Patchouli and Alice cried out. Then, suddenly a yelp as Mamizou was next! Then Yuuka! Then Nue!

"Get away from me!" Yukari pushed Marisa away, managing to maintain herself in the air, "You three get to safety! I have no idea where these portals are leading…!" But it was too late!

"Huh? ! A-Alice! !" Patchouli cried out as she too was taken.

"Patchouli! !" Alice watched helplessly in shock, "…! M-Marisa! !" she reached out as Marisa found herself being sucked into a gap.

"Shi-" and soon Marisa was gone too, leaving just Komachi, Yukari and Alice.

"… Well, everything's gone to hell now… Better bail!" and Komachi fled, the portals strangely unable to reach her.

"Wait, you shinigami!" Alice shouted in frustration, then turned her attention to Yukari.

"Yukarip-san, hang on! I'll… I'll get help!" she said frantically.

"Idiot puppeteer! What are you still doing here? ! Get back!" Yukari was still not in control of herself.

"Alice-samaaa! !"

Alice turned around and- Gasp? ! Rushing towards her with tears in their eyes were her dolls Hourai and Shanghai, behind them two other girls she was not familiar with.

"A-Alice-samaaa! We've come to rescue you! !" the two dolls cried, not least because it was the very first time they openly called to their beloved master.

"S-Shanghai… H-Hourai…? What…?" Alice, still not fully understanding what she was seeing, teared up as well. My dolls… Why are they…?

And then all four of the group were swallowed up by individual portals, Shanghai and Hourai still trying to reach their master.

"…! SHANGHAAAI! ! HOURAAAI! !" Alice cried out desperately. But her cries were cut short as her voice, being and soul were quickly engulfed by darkness. Alice had been spirited away as well.

"… Dammit…" Yukari finally ran out of energy, all the portals around her vanishing, and she fell unconscious to the ground.

**Chapter End**


	24. Intermission

… **After the Festival**

"Nnn… Haah! Reimu! !" Yukari reached up with her right arm and immediately screamed in pain. Quickly, a gentle hand held her arm firmly.

"Don't move…" Yukari wearily turned her head to the side to see a blurred figure bending over her, "This… broken. You fell… a height, it…"

"… What…?" Yukari asked, disorientated. Then she grunted in pain as her arm was lowered back to her side as carefully as possible.

"…!" The blurry figure was instructing someone, "We need to… Stop the arm from…"

"Leave it to me… -sama…!" a second out-of-focus figure joined the first. "This… hurt a bit…" she warned, and Yukari held in her groans as her arm was being tied firmly to something long and stiff.

"There… splint's done…" the second person told the first, "… She was already injured, and now this…"

"Don't worry... She should heal quickly… She is a powerful youkai after all, if a bit aged…" the first said, her anxiety half hidden by a projected whimsicalness, "Now we just need to move her to safety…"

Yukari tried raising her head to get a clearer view of who was treating her, but the same gentle hand pushed her shoulder firmly down against the ground.

"No… You're badly hurt, we're getting a stretcher as we speak-"

"Don't fool around with me, I'm not infirm!" Yukari swatted the hand away, sat up with significant effort, then let out a scream as sharp pain shot through her midsection up her spine.

That same hand clutched her by the shoulder, and Yukari opened her eyes to see Saigyouji Yuyuko's disapprovingly worried face, her servant Konpaku Youmu next to her. A moment of silence past between the two, which Yukari understood to be a plea from Yuyuko, and she wordlessly laid back down on the ground, her eyes apologetically lingering on Yuyuko's face.

"Sorry to bother you-" Yukari began, but was interrupted by a sudden uncontrollable weep from Yuyuko.

"Nnn…!" Yuyuko shook her head desperately, "This is all my fault! I didn't know things would turn out so badly! You're so badly hurt…!" she wiped at her eyes with one of her kimono's large sleeves.

"… What are you talking about, Yuyuko…?" Yukari reached out for Yuyuko's hand, which flinched guiltily under her touch, "It wasn't you that attacked me, it was Yuuka and that Komachi-"

"No! But I took part in Shiki-sama's plot as well! I'm partly to blame!" Yuyuko tearfully insisted.

"Heh… All's fair, I guess…" Yukari chuckled, grimacing as the pain spiked a bit, Yuyuko looking at her confusedly, "I've involved you in a few ploys of my own… Dangerous ones in fact… Remember the second moon war?"

"But I was never in any danger-" Yuyuko began arguing, but Yukari interrupted her.

"Not now, Yuyuko… I'm in a lot of discomfort," Yukari grimaced a grin at her, and Yuyuko fell silent, relenting with a sigh and a smile.

"Yuyuko-sama! Yukari-sama!" the two and Youmu turned to see the lunar rabbit Reisen Udongein Inaba arrive with a stretcher, "Sorry it took me so long…" she said.

"Reisen-san!" Youmu welcomed, while Yuyuko sighed with relief.

"Don't worry Yukari, one of Eintei's best is here now," Yuyuko told Yukari.

"Reisen-san… I'm not sure if I did the splint as best possible…" Youmu consulted Reisen.

"No, it's alright… It's quite good actually… We've got to move Yukari onto the stretcher now, help me!" and both Reisen and Youmu lifted Yukari onto the stretcher.

"… The autumn festival… It's quiet, and a bit dark…" Yukari observed.

"Well… It is rather late in the night, just a few hours from dawn in fact," Yuyuko said, "But I think it's more because everyone fled from the danmaku battle you were all having…"

As luck would have it, a group of patrolling villagers armed with torches and farming tools as improvised weaponry happened upon the group of youkai.

"L-Look! They're still here! The youkai are still here!" one of them cried out in shock.

"G-Get out of our village!" another shouted.

"W-We really shouldn't be engaging them…" cautioned one.

"We don't have a choice! You saw what happened! Reimu-sama herself was defeated!" said another.

"G-Get out… Get out!"and the group, gaining courage, slowly advanced towards Yuyuko and the others.

"…" Yuyuko, her expression dry, merely stood up from Yukari's side and stared at the villagers. Very quickly, what courage they had gathered was drained away.

"… Q-Quickly! Head for the temple! Go find the priests!" the villagers turned and ran in fright.

"… That was a nuisance…" Yuyuko dismissed.

"Reimu was right though…" Yukari groaned, and Yuyuko immediately went back to her side, "All this chaos that was caused… Unrest in the Human Village will be the least of her worries… That hypocrite Shiki Eiki! She wants everyone to be harmonious, but doesn't care what her own plans do?" Yukari winced in both anger and pain.

"Not now, Yukari, you need to rest…" Yuyuko patted Yukari's shoulder, "Let's go now," she instructed Youmu and Reisen, "Eintei's closer, maybe we should-"

"No need…" Yukari opened up a portal, "Your house… will be more familiar for me…" Yukari said.

"… My house it is, then," Yuyuko smiled, and the group made to enter the portal.

"Wait…" Yukari suddenly asked, and the other three looked at her inquisitively.

"… My portals…" Yukari gazed upon the gap she had opened wistfully, "… I wonder where all the others went…"

"… You can worry about that after you've healed up, Yukari…" Yuyuko consoled her, "Don't worry, I'm sure Reimu and the other girls can handle themselves…" she said.

"… I hope you're right," said Yukari, and the four retreated into the gap, leaving only the deserted festival.

**Intermission End**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **


	25. Reimu's Ch: An Odd Gathering

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Reimu's Chapter: An Odd Gathering**

"… Yukari…?" Hakurei Reimu awoke on her side snug in a futon, an arm sprawled out towards an old mentor…

"…? Where am I…?" she sat up, her hand running against the tatami mats that lined the ground, and immediately recognised her own sitting room. Weak light was shining into the windows from the autumn sun. The air was chilly, but someone had heated up the nearby kotatsu, warmth emanating from the burning charcoal pieces.

"… I'm back at the shrine…? Hmm…?" Looking down, she realised she had a clean set of a conventional miko's costume on. Running a hand through her untied hair, she next spotted a magenta yukata neatly folded in the corner, and very quickly remembered the incidents that had happened last night. We were fighting Yuuka, Komachi, Mamizou and Nue… And then Yukari was ambushed from behind… And then…

"I have to say… Although it'll brand me a pervert, changing the clothes of a pretty girl such as you is quite the exhilarating experience!" sang a voice as an unfamiliar blue haired woman entered the room.

Reimu instinctively hugged herself as she spun around, shocked at the sudden intrusion on different levels.

"Who are you? ! What are you doing here? !" she demanded of the woman.

"That's mean… Don't you remember me?" Kaku Seiga knelt down at Reimu's side, Reimu leaning away uncomfortably.

"… You're that wicked hermit!" Reimu recognised from one of the past incidents she had resolved. "Wait… What _are you_ doing here? !" she drew up the covers of futon around herself, face flushed red. D-Don't tell me…! This woman… she…? !

"Don't worry, we're both girl, so you're _technically_ still a virgin," Seiga smiled. Reimu instinctively reached for her spell cards, found she had none on her, and retreated further within the futon.

"Fufu…! Take it easy, I haven't done anything! … I couldn't possibly have, or Hourai-chan and Shanghai-chan would kill me on the spot…" Seiga lamented with a sigh.

"What…? Hourai? Shanghai? Who…?" Reimu's voice trailed off as her eyes found two very pretty, very life-like dolls, leaning tidy against the wall, their eyes closed as if they were resting. They were dressed in little laced gothic dresses with ribbons and bows, reminiscent of…

"… Aren't those Alice's dolls?" Reimu asked confusedly.

"Hourai-chan, Shanghai-chan~!" Seiga called out to them, "There's no point pretending, everyone's going to know sooner or later~!"

Reimu's puzzlement was replaced with surprise when, all of a sudden, the two dolls opened their eyes and sat up, Hourai stretching and yawning and Shanghai placing her hands and knees together, glancing sheepishly at Reimu.

"Greetings, Reimu-sama." "H-Hello, Reimu-sama…"

"... What the…?"

* * *

"So… let me get this straight… Even _before _that stupid Shiki Eiki was planning anything, _you three _were already up to your own little schemes?" Reimu interrogated the three girls sitting before her formally on their knees, Seiga airily to her left, Hourai boldly centre, and Shanghai nervously to her right.

"Yup~!" "That's right!" "H-Hai…"

"And that your… 'plans' are all independent of each other, but somehow they all involve me, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli being paired together in one of several combinations…"

"Yup~!" "That's right!" "H-Hai…"

"You," Reimu pointed to Shanghai, "You wanted Marisa and Alice to be together."

"Y-Yes, Reimu-sama, I hope you don't mind…" Shanghai twiddled her fingers together timidly.

"… I _do _in fact _mind_, Marisa happens to be _my _love interest!" Reimu deadpanned.

Shanghai suddenly changed tack, clucking her tongue in defiance, "Marisa-sama is so much cuter with Alice-sama…" she taunted.

"…! W-Why you…!" Reimu started at Shanghai, who was now pouting to the side rebelliously.

"T'ch… And you?" Reimu began with Hourai.

"Reimu-san, let me just first of all say that I wholeheartedly support a relationship between you and Marisa-san," Hourai offered, "I'd rather see Alice-sama together with someone more sensible, like Patchouli-sama," she finished.

"Er… O-Okay…" Reimu next turned uneasily to Seiga, "And you…?" she started hesitantly.

"I want to see you girls duke it out in catfights," Seiga answered with pure, unblemished sincerity.

"I knew I wouldn't like _your_ answer!" Reimu got to her feet angrily, Seiga amused. "Sigh…" the shrine maiden put a hand to her throbbing forehead, "What I don't get is… Why all the sudden craze over pairings? You're doing it, Remilia's doing it, Shiki Eiki's doing it, and if Yukari's right, just about, oh I don't know, _everyone_? ! Why does everyone want to suddenly see the four of us get together?"

"Reimu-san, I have to correct you on one point, I'm afraid," Seiga interjected.

"… I know I won't like this either, but what is it?" Reimu tiredly asked Seiga.

"You're assuming this all happened _recently_," Seiga pointed out.

"I-It hasn't, has it…?" Reimu did not really want to know-

"Nope, it hasn't," Seiga popped Reimu's innocence, "There has been plenty of fanfiction circulating on the market shipping you girls… There have been groups set up dedicated to following your latest personal news... I think though that Marisa-san's _slightly_ ahead in popularity… Reimu-san~?" Seiga savoured the effect of the truth on Reimu; Reimu was absolutely broiling red now.

"Give me names… _And I'll show you blood_!" Reimu looked up, seething.

"My, my~! That won't do, Reimu-san~!" Seiga waved a hand, "All these fangirls do it out of their love for you~!"

"It's love _I don't need_!" Reimu stomped her feet, Seiga chuckling, "I'm doing fine on my own! I don't need someone to thrust a love interest for me in front of my face- W-What now…?"

Seiga, Hourai and Shanghai's expressions had suddenly become sympathetic, "Are you… sure about that…?" Seiga asked.

"… What do you mean…?" Reimu asked hesitantly.

"Ah… I'm not sure if I should tell you, but…" Seiga rubbed the back of her head, genuinely reluctant, "Well… Your love for Marisa-san? That just happened to be a successful pairing by someone …"

"… Who did it?" Reimu demanded of Seiga.

"W-Well…" Crap, I shouldn't have even mentioned this… thought Seiga.

"Who did it? !" Reimu demanded even more urgently.

"Um… I-It was uh… You know the younger Komeiji sister? From the Underground?" Seiga glanced at Reimu cautiously.

"…!" Realisation hit Reimu, "So that's why I don't remember how it felt like to fall for Marisa…" she muttered to herself, "It's that youkai of the subconscious's doing…"

"You… don't intend to hurt Koishi-chan, do you…?" Seiga asked, secretly prepared to restrain Reimu if the answer was yes.

"… No… No I don't…" Reimu sat down melancholically, "Haah… So even my love's a set up, huh…?" she looked down as she tucked her legs against her body. Seiga, Hourai and Shanghai glanced at each other uncertainly. Poor girl-

"Remind me to thank Komeiji Koishi when I have the chance," added Reimu.

"Hey! So it's okay if the pairing is Reimu x Marisa? !" the three snapped at the wry shrine maiden.

* * *

"Speaking of Koishi-sama… I wonder where she went?" Shanghai wondered, "She got separated from us after we got lost in the portals…"

"Never mind her, what about Alice-sama? !" Hourai hovered back and forth restlessly.

"Is that how you three came here too?" Reimu asked her 'guests'.

"Yeah," answered Seiga, "That gap youkai may not have been in total control, but most likely Yukari-san tried to narrow down the possible destinations," she guessed, "In any case, I'd say ending up here is the best possible outcome, as compared to say… the Outside world, maybe…?"

"D-Don't say that!" Shanghai gasped, "W-What if Alice-sama was sent there? !"

Reimu got to her feet, "I'm worried about where the others went too…" she said, "We did agree to meet back here, but maybe I should go look for them instead…"

"And where would you start?" Seiga asked, "They could be anywhere for all we know."

"… Yukari," Reimu thought up, "I've got to look for Yukari. She may know, and if she doesn't, I'll at least have an easier time looking around with her help."

"And where _would _Yukari-san be?" Seiga questioned, "You don't think she could still be at the festival after Kazami Yuuka's attack, do you? If that were the case, it would seem to the villagers like Yukari-san was the one behind the chaos at the festival," she said, "It'll certainly explain a lot of things… Yukari-san is a powerful youkai after all."

"…! B-But even then, the villagers wouldn't dare to do anything to her, would they…?" Reimu worried.

"Do you want to check the place out?" Seiga proposed.

Reimu looked at her, puzzled, "Are you offering me help?" she asked.

Seiga got to her feet as well, "Well… I need to look for Koishi-chan too, not to mention these two children need to reunite with Alice-san," she glanced at Hourai and Shanghai.

"Seiga-san… You've had a real change of heart, haven't you?" the two dolls remarked.

"Oh? Oh, don't get me wrong," Seiga turned away as she stretched her arms casually, "It would seem that in this particular instance, my given role is not that of antagonist, but companion. I had no choice…" she dismissed, "Sigh… Really, I want a word with the scriptwriter," Seiga joked, "I'm much more comfortable being evil and stuff."

"You've been a poor villain so far, though…" Reimu keenly observed, and Seiga stumbled on her words, blushing.

"T'ch… I really hate this side after all!" she snapped as the others giggled.

"And you two," Reimu turned to Hourai and Shanghai, "The next time you see Alice, just come clean with her about your sentience. You know… show her your love more directly."

"… Eh?" the two dolls were surprised by suggestion.

"I don't really get the need for all these sneaky schemes, but it sounds to me like you just want Alice to be happy," Reimu stated, "So… just be honest with her. Going about it in such a roundabout way is just silly," she remarked.

"B-But our roles as puppets…?" Hourai and Shanghai hesitated.

"I'd say you've long outgrown those roles," Reimu smiled gently, Hourai and Shanghai gasping in realisation. "In fact… I'd consider the two of you youkai now, so that means I'm supposed to exterminate you for all the trouble you've caused me!" Reimu mocked anger, and the two dolls cringed to her amusement.

"Sorry to interrupt this heart-warming session, but do you hear that?" Seiga suddenly said, holding out a hand for the others to be quiet, "Someone's outside…" she whispered, indicating towards the door. Reimu, Shanghai and Hourai became alert. Was someone eavesdropping…?

"… Hmph!" Seiga plunged her hand through the door like water and caught hold of something. A chuckle came from beyond the door, and suddenly with a yelp, Seiga was reeled outside with a single, smooth motion.

"S-Seiga-san? !" the other three startled.

"Woah there! Certainly didn't expect that!" a high-pitched, half-drunk voice cheerily forced its way through the door as they were slammed wide open.

"That's quite a nice trick you've got there, getting at me straight through the door!" a petite, flat-chested girl with long, ginger brown hair stood triumphantly with her legs apart. One hand was proudly on her hips, the other hoisting a lividly embarrassed Seiga easily at the knee; Seiga's skirt was flipping over her body, exposing her black lace panties.

"Oooh… Semi-see-through too!" the petite girl's reddish brown eyes disappeared behind her rancorous laughter, "This is quite the _wicked _catch I've got today!" her laughter grew even more rancorous.

"W-Why you…! Let me go! Let me-" Seiga, upside down and furiously blushing, stopped struggling when her eyes rested on what rested upon her captor's head: two long and sharp horns, woody like antlers, sticking away from each other at an obtuse angle.

"...! A-An Oni? !" Seiga exclaimed.

"Ibuki Suika!" Reimu demanded, "Let Seiga-san go!"

But Suika did not. Her eyes simply turned to study Reimu silently, causing some unease in the shrine maiden.

"… Glad to see that you're safe, Reimu," the foremost of the Oni devas said seriously, disarming Reimu's guard.

* * *

Seiga, face still flushed with anger, burned the image of the loli Oni before her into her mind. She wore a white buttoned blouse ripped sleeveless, and a large purple skirt once covered with sheer, although that was mostly gone too. There were shackles and chains on her wrists, on her ankles, about her waist like a belt, and even at the end of her long hair, none of which seemed to cause the Oni discomfort. Like Reimu, she sported a large red ribbon behind her head.

One of these days, I must humiliate her back! Thought Seiga viciously.

"So, Reimu! Is my room still the way I left it?" Suika was asking, an elbow propping her body as she lay on her side at ease. The others were seated around the kotatsu.

"You never had a room here, you freeloader!" Reimu snapped back, "You just crept in here and festered like mould!"

"Hey! I object to that!" the Oni protested, sitting up, "If I were mould, I'd be a drunken mould!"

"You idiot!" Reimu slammed her hands on the table, "So! What brings you here?" she demanded Suika, "Last I heard you were in Heaven."

"Well, it was a great party, but everything else was rather dull…" Suika mused, lying back down, "You two dolls really alive then?" she suddenly asked of Hourai and Shanghai.

"Y-Yes, we are…" they both replied.

"Hmph… cute…" Suika smiled. Then she eyed Reimu seriously, "After that joke conference at Hakugyokurou, there were suddenly these rumours that you were dead," she revealed.

"What? ! Wait… _You_ were at that conference?" Reimu was stunned.

"Yup… _Everyone_ was there," Suika shrugged, "And then after that, word reaches me that some massive fight breaks out in the Human Village. People were going 'Reimu-sama was spirited away!' Thankfully it was just a misunderstanding…" Suika took a swig of sake from a large blue gourd she had hanging on her belt.

Reimu blinked at Suika in surprise, "Were you concerned for me?" she asked, a bit touched.

"If you _were _dead, I was wondering if I could have your house," Suika joked, and laughed in delight when Reimu snapped at her as expected, "Haha…! Relax! Your place is the best for viewing flowers, and it won't be the same without its hostess!" Suika grinned.

"This is _a shrine_, not a feasting spot!" Reimu nonetheless smiled, "And anyways, if I _really _did die, Yukari won't let anyone else have this location because of the Hakurei barrier… Speaking of that gap hag," Reimu glanced at Suika, "Did you… hear anything about her…?"

Suika shook her head.

"Sigh… Where could she be…?" Reimu pondered.

"You're looking for her?" Suika asked.

"I'm looking for a lot of people, actually, I just figured finding her first would be for the best," Reimu said, "We were all scattered after that 'big fight' at the festival."

"Well then, looks like I've come at just the right time!" Suika sat up again and thumped her chest, "I'm just the person you want!"

"Eh? You're going to help me?" Reimu asked.

"Hey! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth…" Suika grumbled, taking a swig.

"Haha… Sorry. How do you intend to help, Suika-_san_?" Reimu inquired politely.

Suika extended a hand then flicked in a finger, and at once Reimu's skirt blew up, revealing her white frilly bloomers.

"Hyah! W-What are you doing? !" Reimu pulled down on her skirt, "I-I'm really going to exterminate you one day!" she glared at a laughing Suika furiously.

"Hahaha! Relax! There's a -hic- method to this madness!" Suika insisted, "Ever gone fishing?" she suddenly asked.

"…? What are you saying?" asked Reimu, puzzled.

"Well, you know how I can gather things with my powers, right?" Suika asked, and Reimu nodded, "I may not be able to reel in your friends if they're too far away, but I can at least feel the counter-pull when I try," Suika smiled.

Reimu, Seiga, Hourai and Shanghai looked at Suika in wonder as they realised her meaning, Suika's grin growing wider.

"So! Let's go find your friends!" the Oni gave her sake gourd a toast.

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Omake **

It was late in the morning at Hakugyokurou, and the autumn air was chilly, though windless. Saigyouji Yuyuko had brought back an injured Yakumo Yukari and set her up at one of the guest rooms to be nursed back to health.

"Yukari-sama?" announced Konpaku Youmu as she entered Yukari's room, bringing her porridge, "I've brought you food- Yukari-sama? ! W-What are you doing? !" Youmu nearly dropped the tray.

On her bed with her head propped against a pillow, Yukari lay helpless, her loaned robe fluttering openly about her pelvis, revealing (since she did not have any to change into) her lack of underwear in a most glorious manner.

"… Trust me, it's not my doing," Yukari deadpanned, completely unamused, "I can't stop it either-"

"I-I'm sorry! I had no idea this was going on! I-I'll just leave this here!" Youmu quickly left the tray on a side table, and in a flash she was out of the room, the image of an exhibitionist Yukari traumatically etched in her mind.

"… Listen to me, dammit…" Yukari mumbled with feeble fury, "… When I find out who's doing this, I'm going to kill her…" Yukari powerlessly seethed, robes still blooming about her flower.

**Omake End**


	26. Patchouli's Ch: Friends

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"…W-What's going on…? !"

_A girl, barefoot and lightly dressed in a nightgown, was about to retire for the night when she opened the door upon a hellish scene. Before her, naked beneath the coves of her bed, entangled, moaning, writhing, squealing, were Alice, Marisa and Reimu, uninhibitedly making love._

"_Oh? You're finally here huh…? Took you long enough…" Reimu paused her tonguing of Marisa to address the horrified girl, "You're late, though there's still room…"_

"Reimu? ! Wha- J-Just listen to you…!"

"_Hey… Don't cry! There's plenty of me to go around, ze!" Marisa put her arms around Reimu and Alice and drew the two delighted girls closer, her nose to Alice's hair._

"No, no, no, no! M-Marisa… Why…? !"

"_Ahaan~ Isn't this great…?" Alice pressed up against Marisa, running her hand up and down the latter's body as she eyed the kneeling, crying girl naughtily, "Now we can all love each other!"_

"_Come join us, Patchouli…"_

_Patchouli's tearful eyes widened as horror stabbed away at her heart, her head slumped over her knees._

"No… NOOOO- Gyahh! ! Huff… Huff… H-Haah…!"

Patchouli Knowledge lay, thankful to be alone and dressed, on a single bed, her eyes looking up at the sandstone that made up a ceiling, a soft, bright dark-orange light filling the room.

**Patchouli's Chapter: Friends**

"… That was quite the nightmare you were having…"

"…? !" Patchouli sat up, only to be greeted by the soothing image of an angel standing by a table next to her. A slim, fair haired and skinned girl was soaking a towel in a tub of heated water, wringing it and folding it to form a heat pack. She wore a tight, sleeveless turtleneck top, with a woollen brown robe undone and hanging casually about her waist over her black skirt. As she turned to Patchouli, Patchouli saw her brilliantly emerald eyes.

"Rest," instructed the fair girl, firmly but gently pushing Patchouli down to the bed with slender arms. She then next lifted up the collar of Patchouli's loaned clean, cotton robes, exposing Patchouli's chest and inciting resistance.

"Don't struggle, this one's to keep you warm," the girl slid the heat pack onto Patchouli's collar, then closed up her robes for her and tucked her into the bed, "You literally dropped in on us, you know, through some weird portal… You were in the river under the bridge. Yuugi reckons you were close to catching pneumonia," the girl revealed, "You need more sleep… It's still early," informed the girl.

"What happened…?" asked Patchouli, drowsiness overtaking her as her shaken mind was slowly soothed by the simple comforts.

"How should I know? Gensokyo's going crazy again, the way I see it… Stupid Judges up to stupid things…" the girl dismissed, and that was the last Patchouli heard as she slipped into a much better sleep.

* * *

Several hours later, Patchouli awoke, removed the now cool towel from her chest, and got out of bed. The window over the table showed that the sky was pitch-black outside. Did I sleep all the way to the next night…?

Opening the door of the simply furnished guestroom, Patchouli found herself in an equally simple living room. The house was smoothly hewn from sandstone, large, thick rugs covering the floor. There was a sofa and several chairs made of bamboo and fitted with cushions, and a bamboo coffee table. Shelves of petrified softwood were affixed low on the wall, bearing simple but pleasant decorations of porcelain and potted flowers. Throughout the house, there was that softly bright dark-orange glow, cast by simple glass lamps filled with slow burning fuel lasting not nights, but months on end.

"Good afternoon, sleeping beauty!"

The first impression Patchouli got from the woman completely at ease on the sofa before her with her legs apart was 'big'. The second was 'unrefined'…

"… But it's dark outside," Patchouli replied, puzzled.

"'Course it's dark, we're underground, silly! This is Former Hell!" the imposing woman chuckled heartily. She had an equally imposing sharp, red horn protruding from her forehead, and long stray-coloured hair. She was dressed in a simple white T-shirt and long blue skirt with red stripes. To add to her imposingness was her well-toned body and large chest.

"… You're an Oni," Patchouli observed with some alarm.

"Aren't you bright!" the woman laughed, and Patchouli frowned, blushing in embarrassment.

"Yuugi, is the girl awake?" came a voice from the kitchen, and in came the fair girl that had treated Patchouli earlier.

"Oh… Good afternoon," greeted the girl simply, "Should you be out of bed?" she inquired.

"Don't worry, I feel fine," replied Patchouli, "Thank you for your hospitality, er…"

"Parsee. Mizuhashi Parsee," the girl introduced herself, "I think you probably know me, Patchouli Knowledge-san," Parsee said.

"O-Oh! I do remember… Marisa ran into you during the Subterranean incident," Patchouli recalled-

_Marisa, Reimu and Alice_.

"A-Ah…!" Patchouli reeled as a nightmarish image flashed in her mind.

"Oi! You okay?" before Patchouli knew it, the large woman was by her side, supporting her by the shoulders.

"Nnhh… I'm fine, thank you…" Patchouli lied.

"… Come on! Come with me!" the large woman was not fooled as she half escorted, half dragged Patchouli to the sofa, "Right here, right next to me! There's a good girl!" she comforted as Patchouli uneasily but unresistingly sat at the woman's side.

"Name's Hoshiguma Yuugi!" the woman extended a frying pan of a hand to Patchouli, "You'd better remember it!" she beamed in her clumsy attempt to lighten Patchouli's mood.

"P-Patchouli Knowledge…" Patchouli uneasily shook a couple of Yuugi's fingers.

"Hmph… You'll have to forgive Yuugi for her crudeness," Parsee shook her head, sitting herself on a chair next to the sofa, "She's like that with everyone, she thinks she's _everybody's_ buddy…" Parsee rolled her eyes.

"Aren't I?" Yuugi laughed out loud. Patchouli, sweat-dropping, agreed with Parsee's sentiments though...

"Well… At least _you _had the courtesy to introduce yourself," Parsee remarked of Yuugi, "But Koishi-chan, isn't it time you stopped hiding? It's obvious Patchouli-san didn't notice you," Parsee spoke to a seemingly empty chair on the other end of the sofa.

Patchouli, perplexed, turned and- …? ! A petite girl with greenish silver hair and greyish-green eyes, clutching to a black bowler hat nervously had suddenly appeared. No… That's not it… It's more like my mind did not register her presence…

"S-Sorry Parsee-nee-san," Koishi fiddled with her hat's brim, casting furtive looks at Patchouli, "It's just…" Koishi glanced at Patchouli, "I uh… Patchouli-san was having a nightmare, so I thought I'd better stay out here… You know, out of _it_… B-But I ended up seeing it anyway…" she said apologetically.

It was then that Patchouli noticed the shut third eye over Koishi's chest. "You're a satori," she observed.

Koishi shook her head, "Well, yes, but I can't read minds anymore, I uh… I read hearts…" she explained hesitantly.

"… Thank you for your consideration, Koishi-chan," Patchouli smiled, and then her façade broke down as she bent over to weep into her hands.

"H-Hey…!" Yuugi and Parsee half got up, alarmed, but Patchouli shook her head.

"No… It's nothing, don't worry… Kuh…!" her crying got harder. T-That dream…!

"P-Patchouli-onee-san! K-Koishi knows what you dreamt of!" Koishi hurriedly patted Patchouli's back, "A-And I know _for sure_ that it was _just_ a dream! Koishi knows! Your friends would never do such a thing-"

"_But that's it, isn't it? !"_ Patchouli suddenly exclaimed, her hands now clenched on her lap in fury. Koishi leapt back, while Yuugi and Parsee glanced at each other, at a loss on what to do.

"That's it, isn't it…?" Patchouli wept, "I _know _Reimu and Marisa would never do such things! And I _know _Alice, least of them all, would do such a thing! Yet I dreamt- No, I imagined…!" she clawed at her robe, "I… I _dared _think of them in such a vile manner! Marisa… Alice… Friends who have been nothing but good to me…! I-It sometimes feels like I just _want _them to betray me so that I can properly hate them…! !" she spat with hatred for herself.

Parsee shared a glance with Yuugi again, then sighed, "Patchouli-san… I can tell that there's intense jealousy in your heart…" she took the place Koishi had vacated and gently squeezed Patchouli's hand, "Mind sharing some of your issues with me?" she looked into Patchouli's eyes.

Patchouli stared back into those deep emerald orbs, and for some strange reason she found it easier to talk about her problems, a steady warmth flowing into her hand as the venom flowed out, "I-I hate the fact that Alice loves Marisa," Parsee looked down guiltily, "I love Alice myself, but both are my friends, and I don't want to hurt either… so…"

"Hmm..." Yuugi crossed her arms sagely, "Sounds to me like you're half-assing it…"

Parsee's jaw dropped and Koishi clasped her hands to her mouth, Patchouli's eyes snapping open with shock.

"What…?" she turned rigidly to Yuugi.

"I can tell you sincerely love this Alice girl, and that can never be denied by anyone! But…" Yuugi clapped a hand onto Patchouli's shoulder as she rubbed her chin, "Did you let her _know _ofyour love?" she gave Patchouli a 'gentle' rocking.

"O-Ow…! B-But I've already told her…" Patchouli said sadly.

"How? Half-heartedly? As in 'I love you, but I know you love someone else so I'm just going to stand aside'?" Yuugi asked pointedly, "Oi, oi, oi! You gave up before you even started, didn't you?"

Parsee had gotten up, ready to silence the Oni, while Koishi was peeking scared through her eyes.

Patchouli was still with turmoil, "I… But what about Alice's feelings?" she asked, "If I force myself on her too hard, we… we might not even be friends anymore!" Patchouli fretted.

"Hmph… Then I suppose you can _stay _friends," Yuugi crossed back her arms uninterestedly.

Patchouli gasped at Yuugi, while Parsee and Koishi cringed. W-What the hell is Yuugi saying-

SLAP!

"… Fufu…" Yuugi grinned as her face was turned away by a slap from Patchouli, Patchouli glaring at Yuugi with all the anger her frail body could muster.

"I… I don't want that!" she teared up, "I _want _Alice to _understand _l love her!"

"Oi… Are you in this or not…?" Yuugi glanced dismissively at Patchouli.

"…! I-I _want Alice to understand I love her!_" repeated Patchouli a bit louder.

"Really? Just 'understand'? That's it? You're mighty generous, aren't you…?" Yuugi taunted.

"…? ! N-No, it's not that…!I… _I want Alice to love me! !" _Patchouli suddenly exclaimed boldly.

"That's more like it! Go make that girl yours! One more time!" Yuugi demanded.

"_I-I want Alice to love me! !"_

At the side, Koishi was grinning happily while Parsee was putting her face to her palm.

* * *

SLAP!

"W-What were you making me say? ! T-That was so embarrassing!" Patchouli, face burning red, was retreating into the far end of the sofa away from the stupid Oni.

"Ahahaha… Well that got you all energetic!" both handprints on Yuugi's cheeks scrunched up beneath her grin. Parsee had given up on Yuugi and returned to her chair, sighing, while Koishi beamed.

Patchouli glared at Yuugi, then softened to an anxious glance, "I said all that… But… just _how_ _should _I approach Alice?" she asked.

"Be persistent! Be _assertive_!" Yuugi's answer punched Patchouli's mind, "Don't back down until that girl's given you a clear answer!" she instructed.

"Yuugi, you idiot, you're going to get her rejected immediately!" Parsee clucked her tongue. "Listen," she said to Patchouli, "I-I myself may not have much experience in love, but I know it's the little things that count," she advised, "Most importantly, be considerate and sincere! You know, like doing nice things for her _when convenient for the lady_," for some reason Parsee was glaring at a sheepish Yuugi, "And just making sure she knows you're doing it because you like her."

"… That's a really wimpy approach-"

"And I suppose you can just blunder your way through love? !" Parsee immediately retorted Yuugi's criticism, looking as if she had had enough of the oaf.

"I did it though, didn't I?" Yuugi grinned, and Parsee suddenly averted eyes, blushing furiously.

Patchouli glanced between the two, lost, "Erm… Are you two by any chance a couple-"

"Yup." "N-No way, no!"

Patchouli looked at the proud Yuugi, then at the shrinking Parsee, and finally at the giggling Koishi.

"Best to leave such domestic affairs alone, right, Patchouli-onee-san?" Koishi smiled at Patchouli.

"… Yeah, I suppose you're right," Patchouli smiled back. Yuugi burst out into laughter while Parsee, blushing wildly, furiously cursed Yuugi beneath her breath.

* * *

"… More importantly, I have to get back to my friends," Patchouli said as Parsee took refuge in the kitchen under the pretence of making tea, "We got separated, and I'm worried about where the others ended up. And there's still that ongoing incident…"

"Ah… You mean the 'pairing plot' by Shiki Eiki?" Yuugi asked.

"Eh? You know about it?" Patchouli asked Yuugi, surprised.

"Sure she does, everyone was invited to this silly conference at Hakugyokurou," Parsee explained for Yuugi as she returned with a tray laden with tea. Distributing the glasses, she continued, "That Enma even tried to ask me for help, apparently to better manipulate you girls, but of course I don't tolerate such things…" Parsee crossed her legs as she sat down.

"Oh… Thank you, Parsee-san," Patchouli said.

"No need," Parsee smiled.

"So that was what Remilia had Koakuma burn… an invitation card…" Patchouli recalled, "This isn't good… To do things so selfishly behind our backs...! We have to stop that Shiki Eiki after all," Patchouli decided, "But first I need to find the others."

"But they could be anywhere, right?" Koishi pointed out worriedly.

"Not a problem!" Yuugi suddenly stood up, "I'll get you help! Just tell me who you want to look for first!"

"Eh? Yuugi, you're not thinking of searching _everywhere_, are you?" Parsee reminded her.

"Don't worry, don't worry! I'm not the one doing the searching!" Yuugi laughed, and the others sweat-dropped, "So, little girl!" she asked Patchouli, "Who first?"

"I-I want to find Alice first… Make sure she's alright," Patchouli decided.

"I just _knew _you'd pick _her_, good girl!" Yuugi grinned as Patchouli looked away, blushing about her obvious choice, "Oookay! Here we go!" Yuugi whipped out an old, worn talisman from her pocket, "Oh! So it _is _still there after all these centuries," she surprised herself, the others sweat-dropping more.

"Alright, let's see if it still works…" and Yuugi poured in her powers, causing the talisman to glow, "You know, in the old, _old_ days, long before the time of the wimpy Mountain gods, when we _majestic _Oni were in control, the Tengu answered to us…" Yuugi gave a little history lesson.

Suddenly, a surprised voice crackled over the talisman, "Bzzt… W-What the…? Who's this?"

"Hello? Aya? Is that you?" Yuugi asked clearly.

Static.

"Shameimaru Aya! We all know of the work you did for Shiki Eiki, and I for one strongly disapprove of it!" Yuugi implicitly threatened.

"Bzzt… A-Ah…! W-What a surprise, Yuugi-dono! N-No one uses this line anymore…"

"You kept in touch though, really appreciate that!" Yuugi grinned, and Patchouli could almost imagine the crow tengu cringing on the other side, "Listen up! I need your help!"

"W-Well… Ahem! Yuugi-dono… times have changed…" Aya's voice crackled back, "We tengu no longer work under you, so I'm afraid I'll have to quote you a price depending on the service," stated the journalist.

"I've got two fists, how much will that get me?" Yuugi asked, Parsee and Patchouli face-palming and Koishi beaming.

"… W-Well! In consideration of our very, _very _long relationship, I-I'll give you a discount…!" Aya could be imagined to be cringing further.

"Don't worry! I'll pay up, you know me!" Yuugi reassured laughingly, "And it's a simple investigation, a missing person case, really easy… You know Alice Margatroid? The one Shiki Eiki won't stop yapping about at the conference? I need you to find her for me. I've got her friend here worried sick over her."

"… That's mean, Yuugi-dono," replied Aya, "You're asking me to betray my previous contractor."

"Did your previous contractor treat you to moon viewing parties and good sake?" Yuugi asked.

"… You'd better make sure the sake's good!" demanded Aya, sounding much more cheery, and the talisman cut off.

"There, see? What did I tell you?" Yuugi grinned at Patchouli, "We'll find Alice-san in no time!"

"Thank you very much, Yuugi-san," Patchouli said gratefully.

"And as soon as we find Alice-onee-san, I can show you the way out!" Koishi offered.

Patchouli looked around at Yuugi, Parsee and Koishi, and bowed, "T-Thank you all so much!" she said from the bottom of her heart, the trio smiling in return.

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Omake**

A conversation between Patchouli and Koishi as they waited for news from Aya.

Patchouli: Wait… So you were actually at the festival with us? You also got sent here through Yukari's gaps?

Koishi: Yup. We were looking for Alice-onee-san.

Patchouli: Alice? Wait… 'We'?

Koishi: Me, a companion, and Alice-onee-san's dolls. We found out about Shiki Eiki's plot you see, and Hourai-chan and Shanghai-chan wanted to rescue Alice-onee-san from it.

Patchouli: Hang on… You speak of the dolls as if they were alive…

Koishi: They are. Oh…! But promise you won't tell Alice-onee-san! T-They don't want her to know…

Patchouli: … Alice would be delighted if she knew though.

Koishi: …

Patchouli: Hmm… Well, we'll leave the decision to those two children, mmm?

Koishi: … Mmm!

**Omake End**


	27. Marisa's Ch: Blessed Girl

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Marisa's Chapter: Blessed Girl**

"M-Marisa-san… Marisa-san, wake up…!" a voice cautiously approached an unconscious girl on a country path from five feet away. Houjuu Nue, now back in her usual black dress and thigh socks, was on her knees, her hand reaching forth and retracting, unsure of whether she should touch the girl… despite not being within range to do so.

"… Nnngh…" Marisa groaned and rolled over onto her side towards Nue, her blonde hair falling in attractively messy locks over her dirtied face.

"…!" Nue moonwalked on her knees, then immediately berated herself, "W-What am I doing? ! M-Marisa-san is hurt! A-And a reputable youkai like me shouldn't be acting like this… Oh Nue… What's happened? You were once so fearsome…" Nue lamented herself.

"… But… It _was _my fault…" she glanced at Marisa guiltily.

* * *

A moment ago…

"Shit!" cursed Kirisame Marisa as she was dragged through the portal, the image of Alice reaching for her desperately already gone. The spirited witch hurtled through dimensions, before finally being spat back out into the night… the wrong way up…!

"…? ! W-Woah!" Quickly, Marisa manoeuvred the broom beneath her and righted herself up, but the distance from the ground was too short…! Hard braking, Marisa bounced mercilessly off the country path with a groan and skidded through the dirt before coming to a stop.

"O-Ooh, that was bad…!" Marisa cringed in pain as she managed to pull herself together. Her skin was scrapped in places and her bones rattled, but thankfully nothing was broken. The magician knelt in her ripped skirt, feeling just awful.

"Hah… H-Hah… Oh…! And look at you…!" she sighed as her witch hat came fluttering down to the ground next to her, "You look terrible…!" she shakily took up her hat and eyed the big hole in it sadly.

"Oof… I _feel_ terrible, ze… I could collapse right here…" Marisa groaned as she looked around her. But… where is 'here'…? She wondered. She was in the countryside, on a path, rice fields to her left and forests to her right. The night was heavy, with only starlight and the feeble moon. Brrr… And it was chilly…!

"This isn't fair…" Marisa grumbled, "There I was _actually at _the autumn festival, but instead of enjoying myself I'm suddenly out here, being miserable! But…" Reimu, Alice and Patchouli came to mind, "Keh…! This isn't the time to complain! Damn that Yuuka!" Marisa gritted her teeth, "I-I need to find the others ze…" she pulled her broom closer to her, but found she had no strength left to stand, let alone fly.

"Kuh…! Could this get any worse?"

Then a portal opened up and Nue dropped onto her.

* * *

Present time.

Nue, having overcome her strange fear of Marisa, was piggybacking the unconscious magician, Marisa's hat back where it belonged on her head. Three of her six snake-like wings were holding on to Marisa's broom.

"Got to find shelter…" Nue told herself over and over, partly over concern for Marisa, and partly because if she did not, she would go crazy over the thought of Marisa on her back. Even now her hair tickled Nue's neck, her breath teasing Nue's ear, and Nue's hands were on her bare thighs- S-Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop STOP! ! Got to find shelter, got to find shelter…!

"I am not… going to turn into one of those crazy fangirls!" Nue determinedly told herself. "I… Oh?" just then, Nue spotted a tool shed between the rice fields. "Hmm… That will have to do," Nue said to herself, "Hey, Marisa-san, we're going to seek shelter there, okay?" she told the sleeping witch upon her back. Shifting Marisa's weight, Nue easily broke into the shed. Inside, she found a sturdy table, which she cleared of its tools and covered with a tarp, laying Marisa on top of it.

"Okay… Guess you're staying here for now…" Nue spoke to Marisa as she shut the door against the night. Gazing at her face just a little longer, Nue could hardly believe that this was one of Gensokyo's infamous youkai hunters. The way Nue remembered Marisa when she first met her back during the incident dubbed 'Unidentified Fantastic Object' was power, power and _lots_ of colourful danmaku. But seeing Marisa like this…

"Heh… You're so vulnerable, I could literally eat you and no one would know," Nue crossed her arms at the young girl sleeping before her and entertained the thought whimsically. _The_ Kirisame Marisa, done in at last by a youkai…

"Mmm… But that would be a pity, wouldn't it?" Nue sighed, pushing aside the thought, "So young, yet so strong… And you're human, too! I wonder what would happen to Gensokyo if _you _became a youkai…?" Nue reached out to stroke Marisa's hair, but decided against it. It almost felt then that Marisa _would _become a youkai if she had touched her… Become a part of _her_ world…

"W-Well, I guess I'd better do something about those injuries first… And those clothes… Ahh~! So tired…!" Nue yawned yet continued to push herself for reasons she did not bother with, "Sleep tight, Kirisame Marisa… I'll be back soon," and Nue left the shed to find a human residence to raid.

* * *

"… Where am I?"

_Kirisame Marisa awoke to complete darkness, barely able to see past her hands. Panic gripped her._

"A-Am I dead? !" _she thought with horror. No… No not yet…! There's still so much I want to learn- Oh…?_

_In her panic, she had flung herself backwards into something richly velvety and soft – A cushion…? Her body eased, and her hands found themselves resting on two solid armrests of polished yew. _

"_Marisa-ojou-sama…? Are you okay…?" Marisa turned her head, and it was only then that she realised that there was a very pretty young girl in a maid's outfit by her side._

"… Who are you?" _Marisa asked, very confused with her situation. 'M-Marisa-ojou-sama'…?_

"_You're mean, Marisa-ojou-sama~!" the maid gave a sniffle, "B-But I guess that's to be expected… My humble self is not worthy of recognition by someone as great as you…" the maid spoke with wonder, "Not when there are so many other girls to serve Marisa-ojou-sama…"_

"'S-So many other girls'…?" _As Marisa turned her gaze away from the maid, her eyes widened in shock. The darkness slowly peeled back to reveal rows upon rows of equally lovely girls bowing before her._

"_Welcome back, our beloved Marisa-ojou-sama~!" they wished from the bottom of their hearts._

"W-What? ! Where did all of you come from? !" _Marisa stumbled out of her throne in fright, but was suddenly caught at the shoulders by two cold, icy hands. Looking behind her, Marisa screamed and jumped away._

"M-Mima-sama? !" _she cried out of habit. Before her was a long, green haired woman in an abyssal-blue wizard's robe with a ghostly tail instead of legs – The malevolent and powerful vengeful spirit that was her former (and denounced) master, Mima._

"_Well done, my young protégé… Well done…!" Mima had a satisfied look on her face._

"M-Mima! What are you doing here? ! I-I'm no longer your henchman ze!" _Marisa declared._

"_No… But nevertheless… you are well on your way to conquering all of Gensokyo, just like what I've always wanted…" Mimi smiled, gesturing to the hordes of fangirls surrounding them. Marisa cold sweated, terrified._

"_You are fulfilling your destiny, Marisa…"_

"No… NOOOOOOOOOO! ! !"

* * *

"Haah…! …! K-Kuh…!" Marisa woke up gasping for breath, and immediately the soreness of her body hit her. Grimacing, she lifted her head to look around her and sat up in shock. Right next to her, sleeping on her arms against the table Marisa was lying on, was Houjuu Nue.

"O-Ow…!" Marisa winced from her sudden movement, "Okay, seriously, what's going on?" Marisa looked around. She was in a farming shed, daylight streaking in through gaps in the panels. Her hat was in one corner, sitting upon her folded clothes, and Marisa realised that she was wearing a clean, red dress that was not hers. Examine her arms, she saw that someone had fastidiously though clumsily bandaged her wounds, and there was no one else but Nue…

"That's right… I crashed last night…" Marisa recalled.

"N-Nnn… Are you awake already?" Nue murmured, stretching out with her eyes closed, one hand nearly striking Marisa's body before being caught by the magician.

"Huh…? H-Hyah? !" Nue startled, sitting up and pulling away her hand from Marisa's grasp, "W-What are you doing to an innocent youkai like me? !" she looked away, blushing furiously.

"… You saved me…" Marisa was staring at Nue in blank wonder.

"A-Ah? ! W-What's with that expression? !" Nue backed away to the wall, her blush growing strong.

"What? I'm only thanking you ze… Fine you ungrateful youkai, I won't thank you then…" Marisa jokingly grumbled as she stiffly swung her legs over the table and unsteadily got to her feet.

"W-Wait a minute!" Nue went up to Marisa's side, Marisa stumbling and clutching on to Nue, "Where do you think you're going like this?"

"I… kuh… I need to find the others ze…" Marisa obstinately pushed off of Nue, "They could be in trouble...!"

Nue jumped right back before a surprised Marisa and stared her in the eye, "Right now, you're the one that's hurt!" she fiercely said.

"O-Okay! Sheesh, I'm sorry…!" Marisa was bewildered, "And hang on just a moment… Why are you helping me so much? Aren't you with Komachi and Shiki Eiki?"

"N-No! Never! I'm not their friend or something!" denied Nue, "I just… felt like taking part at the time, that's all. I'm just doing what I want, like how I'm helping you now!" she averted eyes stubbornly.

"A-Alright, alright! Calm down, ze…!" Marisa grinned, then pondered for a bit, "Hey… Just _what_ is Shiki Eiki planning?" Marisa asked Nue, "You didn't tell me…"

Nue glanced at Marisa, then motioned for her to sit on the table, "It's going to take awhile, but this is what I know," and she told her about the conference at Hakugyokurou, and how the plan was to pair her, Reimu and Alice together so that no one else could have them.

"… That's just so stupid that I can't even see it as a joke ze," Marisa said in disbelief.

"Yeah, but asa _prank_, it would be the ultimate," Nue put her hands behind her head, "So I just couldn't resist…"

"Shiki Eiki thinks I'm too attractive for my own good?" Marisa shook her head.

Nue was not so sceptical though, "You have no idea…" she said under her breath.

"What was that?" asked Marisa.

"I-It's nothing…" Nue took a few steps away.

"So… what now? The trap at the festival failed, so what's that Enma got next?" Marisa asked Nue.

"Who knows?" Nue glanced back, shrugging, "All I know is my part is over…"

"Heh…? So Shiki Eiki's just waiting for someone to put a laser through her brain, is that it?" Marisa smirked to herself, "Well, she _was _desperate enough to send Komachi after us…" Marisa shuffled over to her clothes and hat and retrieved them.

"So… what's your plan from here?" Nue asked.

"I dunno… We agreed to meet at the Hakurei Shrine earlier… Me, Reimu, Alice and Patchouli. Maybe I should go there? The others could already be waiting," Marisa wrapped up her belongings in a cloth pouch, then summoned her broom, "But what really worries me is if they aren't and are in trouble…"

"I'd choose to head back to the meeting place if I were you," Nue suggested, "It won't do well to go searching for them blindly. You can decide what to do next after checking that place out."

Marisa raised her eyebrows at Nue. She _really_ _is_ being helpful… "Well thank you for your advice, Nue-san," Marisa jokingly mocked as she slung the pouch over her shoulder. Using her broom as a crutch, Marisa hobbled over to the door, Nue holding it open for her.

"Thanks… I guess we can part ways now," Marisa told Nue outside the shed, "Thanks for all your help, ze…" She then attempted to mount her broom, wincing in pain from the strain. Nue, watching, gave a chuckle.

"Aside from your injuries, Marisa-san, do you even know where we are?" Nue asked.

Marisa sighed, "… You're going to tell me?"

Nue walked out a bit further, then pointed down one direction, "That way's Youkai Mountain," she said, then pointed in the other direction, "And that way's Myouren Temple, where I currently live- Well, hang out, really... So basically? We're in the middle of nowhere," she turned back to Marisa.

"Well, that's just great…" Marisa grumbled. The Hakurei Shrine really was very far away then… "Sigh… Guess I best start walking ze…" Marisa insisted.

Nue pondered for a bit, "… Looks like I have no choice… I'll go with you," she offered.

Marisa was surprised, "Eh? Come with me? Why?"

"Well, you're not seriously going to hobble all the way there, are you?" Nue pointed out to a sheepish Marisa, "And I doubt you'll survive a second fall… We may have to go slowly, but at least we'll get there faster if I fly with you," she said.

"Fly with me?" Marisa was puzzled. Gazing on the girl's face, Nue was suddenly filled with inspirational mischief.

"Mmm! Fly with you!" Nue pranced a circle around the wary magician, coming to a stop behind Marisa, "Just like… this!" she hugged Marisa around the waist, pressing her body against her back.

"H-Hyah! W-What are you doing? !" Marisa, blushing, was unable to shake off Nue though given her injuries.

"Payback for earlier! Hahaha…! I'm sorry!" Nue let go of Marisa, herself blushing, "Look, it's not like you have a choice, right?" she asked.

"F-Fine, I get it…" Marisa sighed, then, "Sorry to trouble you again ze," she glanced over her shoulder at Nue with an apologetic smile.

Nue stumbled back and quickly looked away, her blush spreading and intensifying. "S-Something this trivial is n-nothing!" she insisted, "H-Hijiri was always saying that helping people in need is good anyways…!" Nue quoted Myouren Temple's chief monk out of desperation.

"Ahaha… Keep up the good work-"

"Oh shut up!" Nue snapped as Marisa laughed.

"Oh by the way?" Marisa asked as the two headed through the fields for the road before flight, "Where did you get these new clothes and bandages for me?" she asked Nue.

"I stole them," Nue frankly admitted. The two girls shared a glance and laughed together, Nue feeling a strange sort of happiness, different from the sort that a successful prank gave... W-What is this wonderful feeling…?

"Um… M-Marisa-san…" Nue suddenly asked demurely, "M-May I call you Marisa…?"

"Hmm? Ah, sure! 'Marisa-san' is a bit stiff…" Marisa grinned.

Nue brightened, then tripped and nearly fell into the mud.

* * *

"T-That's… a body, r-right, Marisa?" Nue clutched on to Marisa, frightened.

"I-Is this one of those m-midnight murders? Marsia clutched on to Nue, scared.

The two glanced uneasily at each other. From the rice field protruded unmistakably someone's elbows and rear.

"M-Maybe we should leave this alone…" Nue suggested.

"Y-You're right…" Marisa agreed, and the two turned to go, but…

"_Rrrraaawwwrrr! !"_

The two girls froze. W-What was that…? Turning around, they saw…

"Aaahhh! It's a zombie! !" "Aaahhh! You're that wicked hermit's servant! !"

The two jumped back for different reasons as the 'corpse' suddenly arose from amidst the rice plants, revealing a very pale but smooth complexioned girl with short dark blue hair, adorning a traditional red Chinese blouse and a black skirt.

"W-Wait… Nue's right! You're that Jiang Shi!" Marisa corrected herself.

"What's she doing here? !" Nue became cautious. Miyako Yoshika, Kaku Seiga's loyal undead guardian, perfectly preserved everywhere… except for her brain.

"…? W-Where did those humans go…?" Yoshika looked around her confusedly, then suddenly began sobbing, "I-I'm sorry Seiga-sama…!" she wailed to her absent master, "Yoshika was bad! Yoshika deserted her post! B-But Yoshika couldn't help it… Yoshika was sooo hungry…!"

"… I still vote to leave this one alone," whispered over Nue.

"Y-Yeah… we had better-" Marisa and Nue froze when Yoshika suddenly eyed them curiously.

"… Darling…? Darling is that you? !"

"W-Wah? !" Marisa found herself futilely backing up as Yoshika flung herself around Marisa's neck in a loving manner.

"Darling! I-I thought I'll never see you again!" Yoshika wept on Marisa's shoulder, her voice suddenly higher pitched, as if she had reverted to younger days.

"'D-Darling'? ! W-What are you calling me? ! Nue, help me out!" Marisa struggled with Yoshika, but Nue simply looked at Marisa with disdain.

"You really are a loose witch, Marisa…" she scorned.

"…? ! N-No! This has got to be some sort of misunderstanding!" Marisa insisted.

"Yoshika may have died, but Yoshika remembers! Yoshika remembers! !" Yoshika was crying to the point of being pitiful.

"Jonas-sama! Jonaaas-samaaa! !" she bawled.

"_W-Who the hell is 'Jonas', you rot-brained Jiang Shi_? !" Marisa exclaimed.

**Chapter End**

* * *

"And I remember now! You landed on me, didn't you? !" Marisa shouted at Nue.

"Ahaha… Forgive me for that, 'kay? I helped you after all, didn't I?" Nue grinned sheepishly, "Now hurry up, your darling's slowing us down," she smirked.

"SHE ISN'T MY 'DARLING'- SERIOUSLY, GET HER OFF OF ME! !" Marisa was still struggling with the latched on Yoshika.


	28. Alice's Ch: Hurtful Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Alice's Chapter: Hurtful Love**

"_Alice-samaaa! !"_

Nngh… S-Shanghai…

"_A-Alice-samaaa! We've come to rescue you! !"_

H-Hourai…!

Alice Margatroid lay on her side, still in her yukata, on soft dry grass that did not comfort her, under the dawn's sunlight that did not warm her. Her body shivered from the bone, but not from the chill, and her eyes could barely see her hand limp before her.

"Nnn…! Shanghai… Hourai…!" she continuously murmured, her lungs plunging deep for every inhale and yet barely moving for each exhale. And there Alice lay, between consciousness and unconsciousness, vaguely replaying the scene of her dolls crying out for her with little comprehension.

"… How beautiful you are, Alice…" Kazami Yuuka, seated on the ground, her lap a pillow for Alice, could only stroke the girl lovingly as she watched in a trance Alice slowly fall towards irreversible sleep.

* * *

Medicine Melancholy wandered about the woods with no real goal in mind, the child-sized youkai plagued with boredom. She hated autumn. It was a season when things were already dying, so there was nothing for her to vent her poisons on. She could not vent her poisons on the living during the spring and summer either; Yuuka was clear about the plants being off limits, and the humans were protected by a shrine maiden. It goes without saying that she hated barren winter too.

The little blonde youkai eventually came across a brook, and taking off her little doll shoes, sat with her legs dangling in the water, the reflection of a doll appearing before her. That doll wore frilly doll's clothing – A red skirt, a dark red blouse with a large white bow about her waist, and a red ribbon upon her short blonde hair. That's right, Medicine used to be a doll, becoming a youkai after being abandoned. And for that reason she hated humans as well…

Right now, Medicine was seeking methods of releasing her pent up poison, and lately she had taken to poisoning streams.

"… Can't blame me for what you drink in the water…" Medicine, smiling a small smile, dipped her finger in the water, from which a dark liquid stained the brook. Maybe a deer would drink it… Or maybe a human…!

"Well… That's enough of that…" the young but melancholic youkai got up and continued her wanderings through the woods, until she happened upon a strange sight.

Yuuka, sitting on the ground amongst autumn's red leaves, entranced by a pale, withering flower.

"… Yuuka-san," Medicine made her presence known. Yuuka glanced over her shoulder at Medicine, not all there.

"Ah… Medicine…" Yuuka serenely greeted the familiar acquaintance.

Medicine turned her gaze to the unconscious girl upon Yuuka's lap. No… She did not quite smell like a human, yet her scent was not dissimilar… A former human…?

"Yuuka-san, who's this girl?" Medicine asked.

"Ah… her?" Yuuka turned back fondly to Alice, "Her name's Alice Margatroid… I think you might find it interesting to know that she's quite the accomplished puppeteer," she smiled.

"Oh…" went Medicine blankly. She _was _about to tell Yuuka what she saw in the girl, but decided otherwise.

Autumn was a season where things were already dying, and so Medicine hated it.

* * *

"_You! You're the one that cause all that fuss the other day!"_

_Yuuka stopped her wanderings of Makai and turned around to see a little blonde child clutching at a large brown book._

"…? I'm sorry, but who are you?" _Yuuka smiled, _"Are you here to play with me?"

"…_! I-I've come to defeat you today!" the girl seemed offended by Yuuka's lack of impression of her, "You caused my home a lot of trouble last time, so today… Today I'll defeat you with the ultimate magic!" she held out the book._

"Magic…? That's just great! I've been seeking to learn magic myself…" _Yuuka licked her lips, and she and the girl duelled. Though the child wielded greater power than before, she was defeated just the same by Yuuka._

"Fufu… You've gotten a bit stronger…" _Yuuka stepped over to the girl sitting defeated on the ground, _"But it's still too early for you to challenge me…" _she picked up the book. It was a grimoire… And it was full of complex things she did not understand. This girl… she has quite the potential, thought Yuuka, greatly impressed. And she's quite the cute playmate too! Turning to the girl, Yuuka dropped the grimoire, stunned._

_The child was crying. "B-But you're too strong…! Waah…! Waah…! !" wept the doll of a girl._

"Ah…" _Yuuka had greatly admired this child for her magical prowess and her intellect, her attitude and her bearing. But it was when she saw that adorable face crying that Yuuka knew… _

_She absolutely just wanted show this girl __**love~**_

* * *

"What a cute flower you are…" And now, that face lay sleeping on Yuuka's lap. Yuuka dared only lay her fingers upon Alice's cheek, afraid of spoiling the rest of this beautiful child. She had watched this child grow from an adorable girl to a lovely young lady… _I'll be damned if I let anyone in Gensokyo tarnish Alice_…

"You belong with me after all, Alice…" Yuuka whispered, "Don't worry… I'll love you like my other flowers- No… You'll be above them all! An enthralling beauty in my field, untouched and unspoiled…!"

"Get away from that girl!"

An Yuuka turned around, enraged. Who _dares_ interrupt my time with Alice- Gasp? !

"Divine Spirit! 'Fantasy Seal -Blink-'!"

Charging towards the shocked Yuuka was Hakurei Reimu, hurtling towards her at the speed of sound, zipping from side to side that she was leaving after-images, talismans relentlessly raining down before her like a downpour before the lightning…!

"T'ch…!" Yuuka, with little choice, jumped away from Alice, launching her own danmaku to cover her retreat. Her yellow flowers collided with Reimu's frogs explosively, shaking the red leaves out of the surrounding trees- Hang on… Yuuka blinked confusedly. F-Frogs…? Reimu's talismans were frogs…? And that movement… It was not nearly as fast as it seemed…

"Transformation! 'Pseudo-Exorcism of the Stupid Shrine Maiden'!" Yuuka's jaw was agape with growing fury as the bespectacled bake-danuki before her ended her spell card by signing off its name.

"Your reaction tells me that I've managed to pull off a good impression of Reimu-san," Futatsuiwa Mamizou grinned satisfactorily as she knelt besides Alice, "I was afraid my speed would give it away… I'm not nearly as fast as that human rocket," she explained, "The after images were illusionary copies you see – disguised leaves I scattered…" she moved Alice a distance back and cradled her in her arms, examining her seriously, "Hmm… This child's still got time…" Mamizou said to herself.

"You… You're one of those fools working with Shiki Eiki… _You tricked me_!" Yuuka stepped towards Mamizou, infuriated, "GET AWAY FROM ALICE! !" she roared at Mamizou.

Mamizou merely glanced at Yuuka, pushing her glasses higher up her nose, "That would work with lesser youkai, Yuuka-san, but unfortunately it doesn't work with me…" she calmly bluffed.

Yuuka, incensed further by Mamizou's disrespect of her, began charging up her Master Spark, "_Why you LITTLE…!_"

"Yuuka-san," Mamizou interrupted, "You were about to let this girl die on your lap," she stated coolly.

Yuuka immediately dropped her Master Spark, "W-What…?" she asked in disbelief.

"Look," and Mamizou turned Alice inwards so that Yuuka could take a look at her back. The back of Alice's yukata was punctured and ripped in several places by what looked like sharp thorns, trickles of blackened blood flowing from the wounds. Before the two, where Alice originally lay, was a barbed woody plant, its vicious spines stained red. Yuuka clamped a mouth to her hand, her eyes tearing, looking as if she was going to be sick. Alice… about to die…? And I didn't notice…?

"She's been poisoned. Badly," said Mamizou, "What's more, that young youkai there probably knows, judging from how she's looking like she's expecting something…" she pointed at Medicine.

Yuuka glanced at Medicine, desperate for answers.

"… I'd thought you knew," Medicine blankly replied, "I assumed you were simply enjoying the sight of her d-"

"NO! ! I-I-I'd never…!" Yuuka bent over, her hands digging into her shoulders. B-But that was exactly what I was doing, wasn't I…? Retch…! Kuh… W-Why didn't I notice…? !

"… Please! Please you have got to save her!" Yuuka fell to her knees, begging Mamizou tearfully.

Well this is quite the sight… thought Mamizou. "Of course," Mamizou looked at the woody plant that had done the poisoning, "I assume that even _you _don't recognise that?" she asked Yuuka.

Yuuka shook her head in frustration, "No… I've never seen that plant before…"

"I don't blame you…" Mamizou carefully laid Alice down on the grass, "Up till now, I've only seen it in the Outside world. That is a Youkai Rose. A… plant's version of a vengeful spirit, I suppose…" Mamizou explained, "In the Outside world, as urbanisation increases, there is a declining ability to appreciate plants amongst humans. And amongst them, there are those that outright abuse plants for their entertainment."

Yuuka did not feel anger at Mamizou's revelation, though, her attention fixed on the sickly Alice before her.

"A Youkai Rose comes about when someone, usually children, tramples dead a Yellow Rose just after it struggles to bloom," Mamizou had gotten up and was walking over to Medicine, "Already underappreciated compared to its cousins, getting its dreams literally crushed right after it has finally managed to blossom causes it to become spiteful. Never again showing its flowers, it lies waiting just above the soil, seeking to kill those that may trample plants… Its poison is actually a curse, and thus cannot be cured conventionally. As such, unfortunately…" Mamizou knelt eye to eye before Medicine, "Countering it will require two other strong poisons applied to the victim," she said grimly.

"What…? !" Yuuka spun around in shock at Mamizou's cure.

"You know…" Mamizou added, studying the expressionless Medicine curiously, "The Outside world has assigned the meaning of 'Friendship' to the Yellow Rose… Maybe some people know about its spite and hope to appease it this way," she mused amusedly, "But I suspect it has the opposite effect… All the other colours have stronger meanings of 'Love' and 'Innocence', so 'Friendship' must surely be mockery for it…"

"Poison Alice further? !" Yuuka was on her feet, aghast, "But that-"

"It is the only way," Mamizou looked at Yuuka, insisting, "The Youkai Rose is spiteful because of a lack of attention… When poisoned, doesn't one devote all their remaining energies to address it?" she elaborated, "By poisoning the victim further, the Youkai Rose is no longer the immediate threat, and has no choice but to disappear, forgotten…"

But the notion was still unbearable to Yuuka, "O-Okay… I get it… But why _two_…? !"

"Because after the Youkai Rose's poison goes away, the poison _we_ give will kill the victim," explained Mamizou, "However, certain combinations of poisons will neutralise each other. Two will also have the added effect of getting rid of the Youkai Rose's curse faster…"

"T-Then can't you just mix the two poisons beforehand and give it to Alice like that? !" Yuuka pleaded, "I… I've already caused her great pain! I don't want her be hurt further-"

"No, it has to be given as poisons. The Youkai Rose won't be fooled so easily…" Mamizou stared at Yuuka grimly, and Yuuka finally relented. Turning back to Medicine, Mamizou asked, "You're some sort of poison Youkai, right?"

"I already know what you want… Whatever poison you need, I can create it," Medicine said indifferently.

"Oh good! Then I need-"

"But I won't help you."

Mamizou blinked at Medicine in surprise, "Might I ask why?"

"She used to be human," Medicine answered simply.

"_Please_! !"

The two turned, Mamizou startled by the sight of Yuuka not only kneeling, but putting her head to the ground before Medicine, "Please! Help me, Medicine!" she sobbingly begged, "I'll… I'll let you have my entire sunflower field to poison from here on!" she offered.

Mamizou was astonished, while Medicine simply stared on. Then she turned to Mamizou and held up a hand, from which began oozing a huge mass of black liquid. "What do you need?" she asked blankly.

"…! M-Medicine!" Yuuka looked up, utterly grateful, "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"… Yuuka-san…" Medicine glanced at Yuuka, "I don't need your sunflowers," she unexpectedly told the surprised Yuuka , "They already die fast without my help…" she turned away.

Yuuka, unable to believe her fortune, rubbed her eyes as she wept, while Mamizou urgently procured the needed poisons from Medicine.

* * *

Yuuka stood before a wooden shed, looking at the ground anxiously, her hands clasping and unclasping together, Medicine had already left earlier, her interest in the matter dissipated. The shed had been erected by Mamizou out of transformed branches. She had said that Alice would need shelter, though Yuuka had doubts; over the past hour, increasingly loud groans of pain came from within, despite Mamizou's best attempts to block them from Yuuka.

"It's fighting poison with poison, so it might be a bit… unpleasant for her," Mamizou had said as she took Alice into the shed, "Oh, and there's also an uh… undesirable the side effect if it succeeds… T-Though I promise it won't have any lasting harm! Too bad that my knowledge is limited on such things… I know no better combination of poisons…" she said disappointedly.

Alice… Yuuka wished with all her heart… Please be okay…! She raised her head expectantly when Mamizou finally emerged from the shed.

"M-Mamizou-san! How's Alice?" Yuuka asked her urgently.

Mamizou, looking pale but relieved, took off her glasses and wiped the sweat from her brow, "It's alright, Yuuka-san… The Youkai Roses's curse has been chased out, and the poisons are cancelling each other nicely. Alice-san's still in a bit of discomfort though... Do you have any rope or chord on you?" she asked suddenly.

Yuuka had sighed with relief, but was confused by Mamizou's request, "Eh? R-Rope…?" she asked.

"Yes… I'll need a blindfold too…" Mamizou said.

"What are you planning to do with her?" Yuuka asked suspiciously.

Mamizou hesitated, "W-Well…"

"Mamizou? !" Yuuka demanded.

"… S-She needs to be restrained," Mamizou relented.

"What? ! What's happened to her? !" Yuuka pushed aside Mamizou and rushed into the shed.

"Wait! The side effect of the cure- You don't understand! It'll take a few hours to wear off …!" Mamizou shouted after Yuuka, but it was no use.

Inside, now quiet on a bed of straw, the image of a sleeping beauty greeted Yuuka – A sleeping beauty that had just woken up to her prince, and was staring at 'him' in wonder.

"Y-Yuuka…? Yuuka… I-Is that you…?" Alice reached out weakly with a hand, "Come to me, Yuuka…"

…? ! Something's wrong…! Screamed the inside of Yuuka's head. B-But wasn't this what I had always wanted…? Alice, reaching for me…! Yuuka could not resist.

"Alice! Alice, I'm here!" an unsure smile shone on Yuuka's lips as she embraced the welcoming Alice, "Alice! You're alright!"

"Yuuka… Yuuka…! W-Why did you leave me…?" Alice wept into Yuuka's shoulder, "Don't you leave me ever again…!" the feeble Alice could barely manage.

"I… love you… so much…"

Yuuka's eyes widened with shock, her joy shattering as she held Alice away at arm's length, the delirious and weak girl staring blankly into Yuuka's guilty red eyes.

This… This isn't Alice…! "Alice! Alice, what's happened to you? !" Yuuka's could not bear to let go, yet her face desperately turned away from Alice's reaching hands.

"Yuuka…! What are you saying…? Come back to me…!" moaned an unfocused Alice.

"… The poison combination cancels out most of the toxins," Yuuka looked over her shoulder to see Mamizou standing there apologetically, "But… it induces powerful delirium. I'm afraid Alice-san will remain like that for awhile… I'm sorry, that was the best I could do…" she bowed.

Yuuka gazed sorrowfully at the girl clinging to her with all the shreds of her strength, and tore her eyes away from the sight. Don't do this to me Alice…! I don't deserve you…!

"Mamizou-san, I'm sorry…" Yuuka held Alice away, looking at Mamizou pleadingly, "But I need another favour. Please take her to the Hakurei shrine, that shrine maiden will know what to do-"

"What…? Are you sending me away…? Yuuka…!" Alice struggled to cling back to Yuuka, "Why are you doing this to me…? Why are you leaving me…?" she cried.

Yuuka's heart wrenched. She could not stand to look at her…!

"… I'm sorry Yuuka-san," Yuuka looked at Mamizou as she spoke, "But I'm afraid this is one burden you're going to have to carry… literally," Mamizou smiled sadly.

"Kuh… Y-You're right…" This is my mess… It's my fault Alice is like this…! Yuuka hesitantly looked at Alice, and was momentarily lost in those beautiful eyes staring at her. "Nngh…!" Yuuka shook her head, "Alice! W-We're going somewhere together, okay…?" she held Alice securely against her.

Alice brightened up, "_Yes, Yuuka_…!" she said lovingly.

Yuuka cringed, then determinedly carried Alice out of the shed and through the woods towards the shrine. Once you've recovered, I'll _never_ see you again… Yuuka thought remorsefully.

"… Be safe," wished Mamizou as she watched their backs, then sighed and left for home.

**Chapter End**


	29. Ch 29: Reunion

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 29: Reunion**

Kazami Yuuka flew through the air, Alice cradled in her arms. The weakened girl, still in her yukata from the night before, had thankfully fallen asleep – Yuuka no longer had any idea how to respond to her constant fawning. If she ignored Alice, Alice would cry, and accepting her affection was not an option she deserved.

"There! Finally…!" Yuuka hovered to a stop before the Hakurei shrine. She gulped. I have a lot of explaining to do, thought Yuuka. Her descent down to the ground woke Alice, who glanced about her in surprise.

"Yuuka…? Why are we at a shrine…?" some colour entered Alice's cheek, "Could it be… Are we here to exchange vows…?" her eyes looked up expectantly.

"… N-No, I just thought that some flower viewing might be nice for us," lied Yuuka, looking everywhere but down in her arms.

"Oh… Well, that's nice too…" Alice snuggled up against Yuuka and fell asleep again. Yuuka's jaws clenched. She no longer wanted to imagine an Alice in love with her anymore, let alone see…!

Yuuka determinedly marched up to main doors of the shrine's residence. "Hello? Is anyone in?" she called out softly, not wanting to wake Alice. After awhile, she tapped the door with her foot, "Hello? T-This is Kazami Yuuka," she hesitantly identified herself, then quickly added, "A-Alice is with me! Please, do not come attacking! … R-Reimu-san, are you in?"

Strange, thought Yuuka. No one was home? Yuuka pushed open the sliding doors with her foot, and was greeted by an empty house.

" Where could that shrine maiden have gone-" Oh… that's right… Another pang of guilt hit Yuuka. Everyone got separated by Yukari's out-of-control portals after she… attacked Yukari.

"And if it wasn't for that, you would not have been poisoned," Yuuka looked down apologetically at Alice, "Argh…! Remorse hurts like a bitch, doesn't it…?" Yuuka smiled ironically to herself, "And I'll probably not be forgiven either… By quite a lot of people…" she sighed awkwardly, "Well, since no one's home…" Yuuka carried Alice deeper into the house, and quickly found Reimu's bedroom. Propping Alice against a wall, she got out Reimu's futon.

"You can rest here until you're better, Alice," Yuuka said to Alice, then got up and turned to carry her over, before pausing in fascination.

There was this very pretty, soft looking doll sitting by the wall, her long eyelashes curled up from her closed eyelids, her head dipped downwards as she slept, blonde locks falling about her face.

"…! S-She's not yours and she's never going to be…!" Yuuka shook her head and berated herself, then quickly carried Alice over to the futon, tucked her in, stepped out of the room and shut the door in a hurry. Yuuka then made for the sitting room to wait for Reimu to come back, but anxiety got the better of her and she turned around to go back into the room. But then the thought that she might not be able to resist Alice frightened her, and she settled for standing by the door.

So stood Yuuka, waiting.

* * *

Patchouli Knowledge, Mizuhashi Parsee, Komeiji Koishi and Hoshiguma Yuugi were having lunch at Parsee's home when Yuugi's disused communication talisman glowed, signalling an incoming call.

"Bzzt… Yuugi-dono…? You there?" came Shameimaru Aya's voice.

The four lunching youkai glanced at each other expectantly, Yuugi hurriedly answering the talisman.

"Ah, yeah! Yuugi here! Any news?" asked Yuugi.

"Bzzt… We've found Alice, Yuugi-dono," said Aya, and the group sighed with relief, "But uh… guess who's she with…?"

"Eh? Did Marisa find her already?" asked Patchouli.

"No… You're um… you're not going to believe this…" hesitated Aya, and fear slowly crept over the relief felt.

"What is it, Aya? Just tell us!" demanded Yuugi.

"Kazami Yuuka's with her," revealed Aya. The four were shocked.

"What? ! H-How's Alice then? !" Patchouli snatched away the talisman from Yuugi.

"A-Ah…! She's fine! A-At least… She seemed from a distance…" said Aya.

"What do you mean 'from a distance'? Why didn't you confront Yuuka? !" Yuugi shouted over into the talisman.

"You really expect me to go looking for a fight with her? !" defended Aya from the other side, and Yuugi backed down reluctantly, "Besides… I didn't want to inadvertently agitate the situation… They're at the Hakurei Shrine, if you'd like to know…" Aya informed bitterly.

The Hakurei shrine? The four youkai looked at each other. Then maybe the situation's not so bad…? Not even Yuuka would dare try anything there, right…?

"Sorry Aya-san, thank you for your hard work," Parsee apologised on Yuugi's behalf into the talisman.

"Just remind Yuugi-dono to get that payment out in time… And uh, tell her it's actually been quite nostalgic working for her again…" Aya could be heard sighing and almost seen shaking her head, before the talisman cut off.

"Right! Now we know where to go!" Koishi got up bracingly, "Come on, Patchouli-onee-san, let's get after them!"

"No you won't," everyone turned in surprise at Yuugi, "At least not alone," Yuugi stood up too, "It's Yuuka. I say I'd better follow you two," she said seriously.

"Alright then," Patchouli nodded, getting to her feet, "Then let's go." Turning to Parsee, Patchouli bowed, "Thank you for your all your hospitality, Parsee-san."

"No trouble at all, it's been great to have someone sensible about the house," Parsee smiled and Yuugi coughed, "Just make sure you keep that oaf in check," she told Patchouli.

"I'm not quite sure I'm up to it," Patcholi smiled back, and the three made for the front door.

"Watch the house while I'm gone, okay?" Yuugi asked of Parsee as they left for the surface.

"Stay out of trouble," Parsee called after Yuugi, then did a double take.

"Hang on… This is _my _house!"

* * *

"Woah, watch out there…!" Houjuu Nue, for the fifth time, bent forwards and reached round Kirisame Marisa's waist, clutching over Marisa's hands to help her steady her broom while inadvertently pressing herself into Marisa. She and Marisa were both riding Marisa's broom as they flew towards the Hakurei Shrine, Marisa being too injured to fly on her own.

"W-Wah!" Immediately, Marisa nearly lost control of the broom again as she blushed, conscious of Nue's body and hands, "T-This is getting really awkward ze!" she exclaimed.

"I-It's not like there's a choice right? You think I want to do this?" Nue, red-faced and not entirely truthful, rebutted, "It's not my fault that you can hardly hang onto your own broom! J-Just hang in there, a bit more and we'll be at the shrine!" Nue said, although she was secretly wishing it would last _a little_ longer.

"F-Fine… Honestly though, thanks for your help ze," Marisa sincerely said.

"I-I-Idiot! H-How many times are you going to thank me…?" Nue blushed harder, her hands wrapping tighter around Marisa's waist in delight.

"O-Ow! Watch it!" cried out Marisa in pain from her injuries.

"S-Sorry!" Nue immediately relaxed her grip, "I-I didn't do that on purpose though! I'm having trouble staying on myself!" she lied, "Have you ever thought that riding on a broom is the dumbest way to fly?" Nue lashed out to cover her dishonesty.

"Well, I'm sorry for not being able to fly without it! … If I could I would love to fly on my own…" Marisa murmured.

Nue gasped, regretting her remark. After some thought, she held onto Marisa's shoulders and pressed her cheek against Marisa's back, "Hey… Want me to try teaching you how to fly?" she suggested sincerely.

"…! N-Nue, you're being clingy again!" Marisa complained, "And besides… It's an ability that _ordinary_ humans don't have…" she said, a little downcast.

"I-I don't think you're ordinary…" Nue's cheek only pressed further in.

Marisa's blush deepened. W-What's with Nue…? "T-Thanks… Hey, help me check if our tailgater is still there," Marisa asked of Nue.

"No need to look, I can just _feel _her love for you, Marisa-_san_," Nue teased, and Marisa sweated uneasily.

"What's _with her _anyway? !" Marisa looked behind her and, sure enough, Kaku Seiga's Jiang Shi familiar Miyako Yoshika was chasing them undyingly, her eyes shining hearts.

"Urk… Seems she's _dead set _on seeing you as her former lover or something…" Nue, also glancing behind, sweat-dropped.

"Go away, Yoshika! You've definitely got the wrong guy, ze! I'm not even one!" Marisa shouted behind her.

"Hai! I love you too, Jonas-sama!" came Yoshika's brain-dead reply.

"… Looks like she can't _hear _you as anything but her former lover either…" Nue sighed.

"T'ch…! What a pain! If only I could just blast her away!" Marisa had tried earlier, but Yoshika stomached all her danmaku like tough love.

"And at the speed we're going, we're not getting away…" Nue added.

The journey might really be longer than planned.

* * *

Yuuka, having fallen asleep leaning against the wall, awoke to the sound of the front door of Reimu's house opening.

"... Did Reimu come back?" wondered Yuuka as she stepped out of the corridor into the sitting room, "Reimu-san-"

"ANNIHILATING ROAR! !"

Yuuka's shocked expression disappeared behind her chin as her body arced backwards and soared straight back down the corridor into the back wall, a cloud of pulverized plaster exploding around her as the back wall was crushed into compacted dust. The entrance of the corridor was blocked by a massive fist, shot out without restraint by Yuugi, Patchouli and Koishi behind her, jaws dropping.

"… Oops! Forgot to declare my spell card!" Yuugi stood at ease and rubbed her neck sheepishly, "Sorry Yuuka-san, that was _a little_ unfair to you…!" she laughed.

"T-That's your problem? !" exclaimed Patchouli and Koishi, shocked.

"Let me try that again…" Yuugi, to the other two's horror, began winding her fist again, "Ahem... Oni's voice!-"

"LIKE HELL I'LL LET YOU HIT ME AGAIN! !" Yuuka, seething, grabbed and threw the dust cloud at Yuugi, who backhanded it away with some effort, the dust cloud smashing through another wall.

"… That's a good arm you have…" Yuugi's eyes narrowed in grudging compliment.

"T-They're defying physics!" gagged Patchouli and Koishi, "They're both defying physics! !"

"Y-Yuugi-san! We've need to address other things first!" Patchouli exclaimed, and Yuugi backed down reluctantly, "Yuuka-san!" Patchouli turned to Yuuka, "Where is Alice?" she demanded.

"…! A-Alice…" Yuuka cooled down, looking hesitant.

"You were seen with her here!" Patchouli stepped towards Yuuka, "Yuuka! _You're_ here, so where is Alice? ! What have you done with her? !"

Yuuka could not find the words, "I-I… "

"_Ladies, get out of the way! !"_

"What…?" Patchouli and Koishi turned around, barely having time to gasp before they were swept off their feet to safety by Yuugi, right before…

"MASTEEER SPAAAAAARK! !"

This time, Yuuka successfully made it through the end of the corridor, a smug looking Marisa holding out a smoking hakkero on the opposite end, Nue behind her deadpanning.

"No time to declare my spell card, ze! I hope you don't mind!" Marisa smirked, reached to adjust her hat, realized it was not there, and awkwardly dropped her hand to her side.

"M-Marisa? !" Patchouli exclaimed in surprise at the trigger-happy magician.

"Patchy! So you did make it here!" grinned Marisa happily, "I was so surprised! I mean when I arrived, I saw smoke emerging from Reimu's house! I thought there was trouble, so I barged in and woah, did I _not _expect to see Yuuka here! Don't worry, I took care of it!" Marisa snickered, "Eh? Isn't that Hoshiguma Yuugi and uh… Komeiji Koishi, was it? Why are those two with you?" Marisa asked Patchouli of the two youkai accompanying her.

"Never mind that right now, Marisa!" Patchouli disregarded everything Marisa said, "Yuuka's here with Alice!"

"What? !" Marisa startled. As timing would have it, one of the doors in the corridor opened, and out stumbled a disorientated Alice Margatroid.

"Alice!" Patchouli and Marisa called out to her, but Alice was distracted by something else. The sight of her beloved amongst the rubble, bleeding from the mouth.

"…! Y-Yuuka…! _Yuukaaa_…!" Alice ran towards the barely conscious figure.

"Wait, Alice, what are you doing? !" the other two magicians cried out to Alice. But Alice was already by Yuuka's side, attempting to lift Yuuka's head into her arms with what strength she possessed, tears dropping from her eyes onto Yuuka's cheeks. Spectators were dumbstruck.

"Alice…?" Yuuka stirred, her eyes opening in astonishment, "Alice… wait…! You mustn't do this, this isn't you…"

Alice however, did not comprehend, "Yuuka…" she stroked Yuuka's cheek as the onlookers' jaws threatened to punch through the ground, "Who did this to you…?" Alice's eyes wandered over to the dumbfounded Marisa and Patchouli, "... You did this, didn't you? You hurt my Yuuka…!"

"I hate you…! I hate you all…!"

Patchouli and Marisa froze. W-What the…?

* * *

After Alice was coaxed back to sleep again, Marisa, Patchouli and Yuuka, as well as Yuugi, Koishi and Nue, seated themselves around Reimu's sitting room, the kotatsu fired up as much as possible to counter the chilly drafts thanks to the gaping new 'windows' 'installed' into her walls.

"… Reimu-onee-chan's not going to be happy about this…" Koishi looked at the broken sitting room wall, haphazardly blocked up with rubble by Yuugi.

"W-We can worry about that later, there are more pressing issues now…" Patchouli tried her best not to imagine Reimu's wrath.

"Yuuka," Marisa looked at Yuuka sternly, "Be honest with us ze. How did Alice end up like this? I am familiar with the effects of mixing those two poisons you claim were used on her, but why did she even need to be poisoned?"

"I-I'm telling you! It's to counter the curse of the Youkai Rose!" Yuuka insisted.

"I've never even heard of such a thing!" Patchouli rebutted, "And even if that were the case, how was Alice cursed in the first place?"

"…! S-She… She landed on it…" Yuuka told the truth, but it sounded convenient, not convincing.

"Yuuka…!" Marisa and Patchouli pursued, but were stopped by Koishi.

"She's not lying," Koishi said, Marisa and Patchouli rounding on her in surprise and Yuuka looking at her in wonder.

"A-At least… There isn't any deception in her heart…" Koishi elaborated nervously.

Patchouli and Marisa glanced at each other, than relented, "Fine…" Marisa said for the two, "What's happened, happened… there's no point arguing about it ze. At least Alice will be more or less fine after awhile…" she sat back on her hands, "Let's just watch over her until she's okay…"

All of a sudden, eerie, consistent scratching at the front door could be heard. Everyone glanced over in puzzlement, except Nue, who was now sheepishly scratching her cheek.

And except Marisa, who was looking terrified.

"…? What's that noise?" Yuugi got up to the front door, "It's rather persistent…"

"N-No! Don't open the door!" Marisa struggled to her feet to stop the Oni, "Whatever you do-"

Slide- Fwum! "Darliiing! !"

The moment Yuugi opened the door, Miyako Yoshika came sprinting through, flinging herself around a petrified Marisa.

"Oh dear… Looks like we didn't lose her after all…" Nue looked on, amused, while the others were all surprised.

Except for Patchouli, who was appalled

"Marisa… What is this…?" she asked dangerously about the girl lovingly embracing Marisa around the neck.

"P-Patchy! Please believe me, it's all a misunderstanding!" Marisa pleaded as she attempted to pry off Yoshika in vain, but Patchouli was having none of it from the promiscuous magician.

"You… You _lousy pimp witch_! !" she yelled.

**Chapter End**

* * *

**Omake**

Meanwhile, Reimu and Suika, along with Seiga, Hourai and Shanghai had managed to successfully track down Yukari at Hakugyokurou.

"I-I'll just leave you here with her," Youmu awkwardly said, anxious to get out of Yukari's room, "Oh… And um… D-Don't mind her, she's been like that all day…!" Youmu dashed out in a hurry.

Hourai and Shanghai were covering each other's eyes frantically while Seiga was getting a good look. Reimu deadpanned, and Suika laughed her heart out.

"Pfft… Hahahahaha! How are things *snort* Yukari-san?" the chortling Oni asked the helplessly furious gap youkai.

"Grrr…! _It's your doing isn't it? ! Once I get better… I'm going to GET YOU! !_" Yukari roared at Suika past the sight of her robes still displaying her nether-regions to the wider world.

**Omake End**


	30. Ch 30: The Big Reveal

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 30: The Big Reveal**

"Do you think this will hold?"

"It has to… Otherwise she'll never leave your side."

"Groan… Someday, I've got to get Reimu to teach me how to seal stuff ze… Patchy, what do you think?"

Marisa's face showed up from behind her rear to inquire Patchouli's opinion as both she and Nue were on their knees, attempting to stuff Yoshika into a low cabinet. Patchouli was looking on flatly.

"Oh!" Marisa got an idea, "Hey Patchy, you can create metal right? We could use a bolt to hold this shut- Patchy?"

Patchouli was still looking at Marisa flatly. "Hey, Marisa…" she finally broke her silence, "You've got quite an exotic taste, huh?" she monotonously said, "We get separated for just _one day _and the next thing I know, you've gotten yourself a Jiang Shi _and _a nue. I know I told you to go get a harem once (Ch 14), but I didn't think you'll actually do it…" she said with flat disdain.

Marisa cringed while Nue furiously blushed. "H-Hey! Leave me out of this! I've got nothing to do with her!" Nue denied.

The three (four actually, though all three would rather leave out Yoshika), were in Reimu's sitting room, just taking their bearings after all that had recently happened. Reimu had yet to be found, so they had to figure out a way to find her too… Yuuka had settled for standing outside the room Alice was sleeping in again, and Yuugi and Koishi were outside on the porch.

"Y-Yeah! Nue's just been helping me out, honest ze!" Marisa was defending Nue from Patchouli, Nue looking away shyly, "And I keep telling you, the Jiang Shi's a misunderstanding!" continued Marisa, "Look, she doesn't even recognise me!"

"Darling…!" called out Yoshika from within the cabinet. Marisa hurriedly stuffed her further in with her foot.

"Yeah… And to think Alice is right in the other room…" Marisa winced as Patchouli's words pierced her, "I guess her love doesn't matter to you at all, does it?" she smirked, then realised she had gone too far.

"P-Patchy! How could you ze?" Marisa said, angered and guilty at the same time, "Bringing up Alice while she's unwell!"

"A-Ah! No! I didn't mean that, I'm sorry!" Patchouli glanced down apologetically, and an awkward silence fell save for Yoshika's 'Darlings…!'

Nue glanced about her nervously. Was there some sort of love triangle going on…?

"Jonas-sama… I don't like it here-"

"Oh, just shut up already!" Nue suddenly spun around and gave a vicious kick to Yoshika's unfeeling gut, followed by the slamming shut of the cabinet doors on her, muffling Yoshika's moans and startling Marisa and Patchouli.

"T-Thanks…" said Marisa.

"My pleasure," Nue welcomed.

"Who's 'Jonas'?" asked Patchouli, puzzled.

"I told you, Patchy, Yoshika's got me confused for someone else!" Marisa explained.

"But… how can she? Isn't 'Jonas' a male name?" Patchouli's confusion was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and Yuuka gasping.

"A-Alice…! Are you okay…?"

"Yuuka… I-I'm fine… or at least… I'm better now…"

Marisa and Patchouli got up anxiously as Alice unsteadily though purposefully made her way into the sitting room, Yuuka close behind, ready to catch her should she fall. Quickly, Marisa and Patchouli got to Alice's side and helped her to the kotatsu, Yuuka remaining standing some distance away.

"Thanks, you two…" Alice said, still sounding weak.

"Well… Since you're better now, I guess I'd better leave," Yuuka made for the door.

"Wait…" Alice called out, and Yuuka paused, an audacious hope springing up in her heart against her will for Alice's forgiveness.

"W-What is it, Alice?" Yuuka fixedly faced the door, though her eyes were stealing glances backwards.

"I remember everything…" Alice said, sounding displeased.

"… I-I'm really sorry for all that's happened…" Yuuka apologised, hand still on the door.

"You also appeared in my dreams…" Alice revealed, surprising Yuuka, "You're that creepy woman in makai that's always finding all sorts of weird reasons to come talk and play with me, right?" Alice recalled.

Yuuka's surprise turned to shame, "Ahaha… Y-You remember, huh…?" her hand twitched a little on the door.

"E-Eh? ! Yuuka was stalking Alice from then already? !" went Marisa and Patchouli with disgust.

Yuuka cold sweated, "Y-You were always a wonderful girl, Alice-"

"Leave, and don't come finding me again," Alice said coldly. Yuuka's head reflexively smashed into the door, while even Marisa went 'Damn, Alice…'

"Fufu… Hahaha…! I guess it's what I deserve after all, huh?" Yuuka reclined her head, her expression one of joyous relief. Alice is back to normal… That's good, that's good… "Don't worry Alice. I was planning to never see you again anyways…" Yuuka pushed open the door and stepped out.

"Also… Thank you…"

Yuuka froze.

"… For protecting me all this while," Alice ended.

Yuuka, with her back to the others, let out a smile and left, never looking back.

* * *

"Sigh… Now that's that…" Alice slumped against the table, relieved but exhausted.

"Damn, Alice…" Marisa repeated herself, "You really used all your emotional leverage against her…"

"What do you expect me to do?" Alice peered up at her with her head to on her arms, "It's Yuuka. I can't be soft or she won't leave me alone," she sighed again.

"So how are you feeling Alice?" Patchouli asked.

"Miserable…" groaned Alice, "I haven't had a change of clothes since last night… And why is it so cold in here?"

Patchouli and Marisa gestured to the giant holes punched through the house walls.

"… I don't even want to know…" Alice closed her eyes.

"… Ahaha… Ahahaha!" Marisa suddenly laughed, to the surprise of the others.

"What's so funny?" Patchouli and Alice asked.

"No, it's just… It feels like ages since we last got together like this, right ze?" Marisa grinned. Patchouli and Alice looked at her with realisation, reluctant smiles coming to their faces.

"Ah… I don't know about you, but I'm completely beat…!" Alice slumped further on the table.

"If we had some books on magic, we could do magic research like we used to, ze!" Marisa leaned back with her hands behind her head.

"I don't recall _you _doing much research…" Patchouli smirked good-naturedly, and Marisa sheepishly grinned.

"… You've gone quiet…" Alice observed of Nue.

Patchouli and Marisa glanced over in surprise, having forgotten about Nue. Nue startled at being singled out by Alice.

"A-Ah…! H-Hello Alice-san-"

"… Who's the new girl, Marisa?" Alice cut across Nue as she looked at Marisa inquiringly. The atmosphere got awkward.

"…! Ahaha…! Y-Your mean, Alice-san!" Nue began nervously joking, "D-Don't you remember me from the festival the night before?"

"Giggle~! Sorry for the rudeness, Nue-san~!" Alice looked at Nue with smiling eyes. The atmosphere got even more uncomfortable, "I haven't forgotten. So… who's the new girl, Marisa?" she turned back to Marisa, fake smile still plastered on.

H-Has she been picking up lessons from Yuuka…? Marisa gulped. She glanced at Patchouli, who merely gave her a 'You're alone on this' look. T'ch…! "A-Alice! Come on, don't put things in such a suggestive manner ze!"

"Y-Yeah, Alice-san!" Nue pitched in, "There's nothing between us-"

"Darling…!" Yoshika's loudest moan yet issued from the cabinet, cutting through the frigid air.

"… Then how about that?" Alice flatly asked a frustrated Marisa, "_That _certainly sounds like a 'skeleton in the closet'-"

"That's because it _is _a skeleton in the closet! Look, I'll show you!" Marisa rushed over to the cabinet and pulled open the door, but Alice saw only a starry-eyed Jiang Shi calling out to her lover.

"… How daring of you, Marisa-_san_," Alice smirked, "You're keeping another woman hidden in _Reimu-san's_ home no less… I guess Reimu's love for you means nothing-"

"_I swear I heard that exact same line just a moment ago!"_ Marisa got up and danced about as the others giggled.

Suddenly the door burst open and in ran Koishi, surprising the others.

"H-Help! Y-Yuugi-onee-chan's going to die! !" she exclaimed, frightened. The others looked outside, and got just as terrified as she was.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! The autumn skies were alive to the sounds of explosions and 'Pichuuns~!' as Hoshiguma Yuugi lay losing what lives she had and more beneath a hail of furious red amulets.

"AAARRRGGGHHH! ! ! YOU STUPID ONI! ! I'LL EXTERMINATE YOU ALL! !"

Hakurei Reimu had returned, along with Ibuki Suika, Yakumo Yukari and Kaku Seiga, and she was not pleased about the 'renovations' done to her house.

* * *

"Hey! Why only me?" Yuugi sat impressive opposite Reimu, only slightly bruised and annoyed from her multiple deaths, "Marisa was responsible for one of the holes in your walls!"

"T-That's because Marisa had no choice!" defended Reimu, "She attacked because Yuuka was here, right…?"

"H-Hey! That's why _I _attacked too, you biased shrine maiden!" Yuugi said.

Reimu's sitting room was getting a little cramped from all the people within. Reimu, Yuugi, Suika and Yukari now occupied the table, with Patchouli, Alice, Koishi and Seiga sitting a short distance from it and Nue leaning against a wall, watching idly. Marisa… too was leaning against the cabinet where Yoshika was stuffed, trying to strike as casual a pose as possible with her foot against the cabinet door.

"Haha! What a surprise! I didn't expect to find you all here!" Suika said, "I had expected our little treasure hunt to be a bit harder than that!"

"Since you've had it easy, why don't you help Yuugi repair my walls later?" Reimu suggested.

"What? ! Yuugi was the one that broke them!" Suika objected.

"Think of it as payment for your past lodging," smiled Reimu mischievously, "So you all made it here safely then?" she next asked Marisa, Patchouli and Alice.

"… More or less," they replied.

"What did Yuuka want anyway?" Reimu asked Alice, "First she goes all crazy for you, then she escorts you here?"

"How would I know?" Alice shrugged, "I wouldn't want to try to understand that woman."

"I'm sorry for what happened last night," Yukari suddenly apologised, "I didn't mean for everyone to get scattered like that," she bowed, uncertain reactions from the rest at her unusual humility.

"Well… Some of us did go through rather dangerous situations," Marisa glanced at Alice, who sighed, "But what matters is that we're all okay and back together again, right ze?" she said bracingly- Knock!

"Marisa…?" Reimu turned inquisitively to the witch perched on the cabinet.

"A-Ah! It's nothing! S-Sorry, I accidentally kicked your cabinet!" Marisa awkwardly laughed, giving the cabinet door a _hard _tap with her foot as a demonstration.

Alice and Patchouli exchanged knowing, dry glances, while Nue put a hand to her face. That's one time bomb that's _just _waiting to happen.

"Well, now that you are back together and alright, I can safely say that Shiki Eiki's not-too-brilliant trap for you four is ended," said Yukari.

"It may not have delivered brilliant results, but it was a brilliant pain," Patchouli said, and Marisa, Alice and Reimu sounded agreement.

"You there!" Yukari suddenly pointed at Nue, who startled, "You were an accomplice of Shiki Eiki, were you not?"

"W-What me?" Nue glanced about the room nervously, "O-Okay, I admit, I _did_ do a couple of things for her but surely you're not going to punish me for that, right?"

Reimu was tapping her fingers on the table, "I'm considering it…" she muttered.

Nue fretted, but Marisa jumped to her defence, "W-Wait, Reimu! Nue helped me a lot, so let's forgive her, okay?"

Reimu rigidly turned to Marisa, "Yes… I have been wondering about the _new girl_, Marisa-"

"Oh, let's not start this again! This will be the third time!" Marisa ruffled her hair in frustration, and Patchouli and Alice could not help but burst into giggles.

"Sigh… Well, punishing you won't really matter," Reimu told Nue, and Nue breathed in relief, "No… I won't be satisfied until I get the Shiki Eiki herself…"

The others looked at Reimu and Yukari asked, "You want to go after her?"

"I'll do it alone if no one wants to help," Reimu said determinedly, "I can't rest until I've given that idiot Enma a good smack in the face! No one messes around with my maiden heart like that!"

The others looked on, doubtful about Reimu's maiden heart.

"Heh… Well, you won't be alone, Reimu-san," Patchouli volunteered herself, "I've got quite a few unfinished issues to iron out, and Shiki Eiki's first."

"I don't suppose we can leave that Judge alone, considering what she tried to do to us at the festival, right?" Alice threw in her lot.

Reimu glanced appreciatively from Patchouli to Alice, then looked questioningly at Marisa.

"What's with that look, ze? You don't really have to ask me, do you?" Marisa grinned widely.

"Haha… No, I do not," Reimu smiled, "Then I suppose that's agreed upon. We'll rest for today, and go give that Enma an earful tomorrow!"

Sounds of agreement were heard around the room.

"Ah-ah! But before that…" Everyone turned to see Seiga and Koishi, who had gotten together and approached Alice secretively, "_You've_ got unfinished business to attend to!" they told the perplexed puppeteer.

"W-What?" Alice asked, uncertain.

Seiga and Koishi glanced at Reimu knowingly, who merely shrugged with a small smile, and the two stepped aside to reveal behind them what they had been hiding the whole time:

Hourai and Shanghai, on their own feet independent of instruction or string, clutching each other nervously.

"W-What…?" Alice's confusion grew, "H-Hourai, Shang-"

"A-Alice-sama... W-Welcome back…" the two greeted. Marisa's jaws dropped while Patchouli found herself smiling and shaking her head in disbelief, despite knowing beforehand from Koishi.

Alice was speechless. Her heart was full of emotions but her mind was incapable of comprehending them.

"W-Welcome back, Alice-sama…!" Shanghai repeated more clearly and dearly.

"E-Even though this isn't really your home…" added Hourai wryly.

Alice's head repeatedly turned from doll to doll, then to her own hands, her moist eyes blinking. Wait… I'm not doing anything, h-how are they…?

"What I saw at the festival… The two of you…" Alice looked up from her hands at Shanghai and Hourai in wonder, "T-That wasn't a dream… right…?"

Shanghai and Hourai's eyes widened tearfully too, and they flung themselves into a crying Alice's arms.

"Alice-samaaa! ! I-I've always wanted so much to tell you! !" cried Shanghai.

"I-I really love you, Alice-samaaa! !" cried Hourai.

"Shanghai! ! Hourai! !" Alice wept, hugging her children tightly, as the others looked on with various smiles on their faces.

**Chapter End**


	31. Ch 31: Meet the Kids

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 31: Meet the Kids**

Alice Margatroid sat in the bath of her own home, the warm water relaxing her body and clearing her head of what little side effect there was left of the triple poisoning she had endured. It has only been two days, Alice thought, looking up at the steam clouded ceiling, but boy did it feel like sucha long time… She let her hands slide off the edges of the tub as she sank deeper with her eyes closed, the water just covering her lips and the ends of her hair beginning to float about her nape.

Tomorrow, she, Marisa, Patchouli and Reimu were going to go find Shiki Eiki and give her a piece of their minds. For now though, Alice chose to return to her own home to rest for the night.

Ahh… Hmm… I think it's about time I got out of the bath… Alice thought, and her body shivered with excitement as she sat up in the water and pulled her legs in. It was the usual command – the dolls would always bring her towels after her bath. But… But this time it's different…!

"A-Ah… S-Shanghai? Hourai?" she called out shyly, and immediately the door to her bathroom burst open with such force that Alice dived into the water, startled.

"YOU CALLED? !" demanded Hourai as she and a sweat-dropping Shanghai floated by the entrance.

"… T-That was fast…" Alice peered over the edge of the bath.

"WE'VE BEEN WAITING OUTSIDE _**THIS WHOLE TIME**_! !" unnecessarily emphasised Hourai.

"A-Ah, well… T-Thank you, Hourai, but there wasn't any need for that…" Alice rose out of the bath awkwardly, one arm partially obscuring her breasts. T-Thanks for letting me know though… she mentally added.

"WE THOUGHT IT BEST TO BE PREPARED AT ALL- HYAH? !" Hourai suddenly dived outside the bathroom and disappeared round the corner.

"Eh? H-Hourai?" Alice was confused but amused. Her 'children' were so lively… "Hourai, what's wrong?" she asked, smiling.

"S-Sorry!" Hourai peeped round the door and promptly shut her eyes tightly at Alice's body, bared and wet from the pelvis up, "B-But Alice-sama is n-n-n-naked…!" she voice trailed off shakily, "S-Such a goddess my Alice-sama is…" she incomprehensively squeaked.

"…? What are you talking about, Hourai-nee-chan?" Shanghai looked at her weirdly, "We've always helped Alice-sama with her baths! Have you forgotten your duties? Here, Alice-sama~!" she turned to Alice and opened up the towel for her, sweetly smiling.

"Thank you, Shanghai!" Alice swung over her legs and stepped out of the tub as Shanghai wrapped her with the towel.

"B-But… our status is different now… We're not just dolls anymore…!" Hourai mumbled from behind the corner, "N-No…! Shanghai is right! My duty is to serve Alice-sama! W-Wait, Shanghai! Don't just hog Alice-sama to yourself- S-Shanghai? !" Hourai rushed back into the bathroom only to halt in shock and disgust.

Alice, puzzled by Hourai's actions, looked over to her right and- W-Wah? !

Shanghai was nose bleeding like a burst faucet straight onto the towel around Alice. "Ehehehehe~ Alice-sama's so lovely…~" were Shanghai's infamous last words.

* * *

"… What should I do…?" In the kitchen, Patchouli Knowledge struggled with the cutting of vegetables, her hand wobbly from her heart as she tried to curry favour- I mean prepare tonight's supper for both herself and Alice.

In a spur of the moment, Patchouli had decided to follow Alice home instead of return to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Well, part of the reason was that she was still plenty mad at Remilia for all her tricks, so she did not want to go back and see the vampire's face just yet…

"But still… Why did I just decide to follow Alice home…W-What did I hope would happen with me being here…?" Patchouli startled as a mental image of Yuugi roared to her mind with the words 'Go for it!'.

"C-Cut it out, you!" Patchouli shook her head clear of the oni, her cheeks burning red, "I'm not going to a-a-a-attack Alice while she's in her own home! Sigh…" Patchouli paused her cooking preparations and looked worriedly at the stew slowly bubbling away on the stove. Still… How else am I going to get Alice to understand how I feel about her? Did I hope that such a simple act as making supper would do the trick?

"Patchouli?"

"Eh? Ah, Alice?" Patchouli looked over her shoulder at the sound of Alice's voice from the kitchen doorway, "Wait just a moment, I'm almost done- A-Alice? !" Alice, now dressed, was clutching a bloodied and anaemic looking Shanghai, Hourai floating about her shoulder.

"W-What happened…?" Patchouli asked.

"Sigh… I don't know," Alice answered tiredly, and upon closer observation, Patchouli realised that the blood was in fact coming from Shanghai's nose, and that Shanghai had never looked happier.

"… Alice, I think something's wrong with Shanghai…" Patchouli pointed out.

"That's right! Even Patchouli-sama thinks so!" Hourai crossed her arms in agreement.

"Haha… Sorry Patchouli, but I need to be looking after this little one right now, so can I trouble you to take care of supper alone?" Alice asked.

"Huh? A-Ah! No problem! I'm just about done!" Patchouli hurriedly turned her attention back to her stew, "Don't worry about it, leave it to me!" she said.

Alice smiled, "Thanks Patchouli," she turned to leave, "And it smells good," she added a last compliment.

Patchouli jumped a little, her face flushed. M-Maybe this would work after all- Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, Patchouli! All she did was compliment your food, don't get ahead of yourself! Thought the magician.

Yet… Patchouli found herself returning to making supper a little more cheerfully.

* * *

"Shanghai… Are you alright…?"

Shanghai's eye heavily struggled open to the sensation of resting on something soft, only to find herself resting on Alice's lap- _SpuuurrrrtttEhehehePichuun~!_

"S-Shanghai? !" Alice, now fully dressed and sitting on the couch in the living room, jumped in shock as more blood arose from Shanghai's nose, the little child with a face of no regrets.

"I-I'll clean this up, Alice-sama…" Hourai, repulsed, brought in a napkin and wiped Shanghai's face so vigorously she might as well be trying to erase the existence of her little sister, "Don't worry, Alice-sama," Hourai reassured her master, "Shanghai's alright… regrettably…"

"H-Hourai… Do you think something's wrong with her?" a worried Alice asked.

"She's defective," Hourai answered straight-faced, and Alice sweat-dropped.

"Hourai-nee-chan's defective too …" protested Shanghai from Alice's lap.

"Shanghai…! You really had me worried there…" Alice said.

"I- I'm sorry, Alice-sama…!" Shanghai looked up apologetically at her master's face, and Alice broke a smile and stroked Shanghai's head, Shanghai giggling in response. Hourai looked on disapprovingly of Shanghai's behaviour.

"Mmm… Hourai? What are you doing over there? Come here!" Alice called to Hourai, and Hourai startled.

"W-What? ! M-Me? !" she looked at her toes and blushed. Looking up at the sound of the sofa's cushion being patted, Hourai saw Alice welcoming her over with a smile.

"Come on! Don't make me order you~!" Alice joked.

"A-Ah…! A-Alice-sama…" Hourai zipped over to Alice's side and snuggled up to the giggling puppeteer.

"You two really are like my own children," Alice just could not stop smiling as she hugged in Hourai and ruffled Shanghai's hair, Hourai purring and Shanghai flinching cutely, "I've been dreaming so long to see you two alive… Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she asked, a little disappointed. Guilt overwhelmed the happiness Hourai and Shanghai were feeling.

"We're sorry, Alice-samaaa… sniffle…! We're really sorrrry! !" they started wailing.

"A-Ah! Haha… I-It's okay…!" Alice giggled as she stroked both Shanghai and Hourai, but they wailed only louder.

"I-I've no excuse for my failure, Alice-samaaa! I-I thought it above myself as your _puppet_, as your _shield_, as your _lance _to interact in any way that would _unjustly_, _perversely_ profit me personal pleasure from you…!" went Hourai.

"I-I'm sorry, Alice samaaa! I-I was afraid that if you knew, I-I might never be able to be closer to you again! To watch you _bath_! To watch you _dress_! To watch you _sleep_! To watch you _eat_! To watch you _undress_…!" went Shanghai.

"A-Ah… Mmm…! Uh, w-well…" Alice maintained her poise, but her smile grew awkward and her stroking of the two children more reluctant, "Shanghai? Hourai? You needn't worry about such things…" she gently told them, "Shanghai," Alice tucked in an errant hair of Shanghai's behind her ear, "I'll forever be counting on you to help me around the house," she said, and Shanghai brightened up, "And Hourai, I'll forever be depending on you to keep me safe," she held Hourai's hand between her thumb and index finger, and Hourai blushed.

"Yes, Alice-samaaa~!" "Y-Yes! A-Alice-sama! !" Shanghai beamed, while Hourai flustered, pulling at the hem of her skirt.

"Now… Hourai, Shanghai? I want to talk to you about other things," Alice remained smiling, but the two dolls immediately felt a slight ominous change in the atmosphere. It did not help that the hands that were so affectionately petting them were suddenly very rigid upon their backs.

"A-Alice-sama…?" the two dolls went uncertainly.

"Reimu… has been telling me things," Alice would only keep smiling.

The two dolls jumped. W-What is this incredible feeling we're getting from Alice-sama…? W-We've never seen this side of her before…! J-Just who is she channelling…? !

"Oh? Shanghai-_chan_, Hourai-_chan_… You two look rather nervous," Alice placed a finger each under their chins and lifted their terrified little faces to meet her venomously enchanting peridot eyes, "Have you got anything to tell me…?"

"W-We only wanted your happiness, Alice-sama!" the two dolls knelt before their maker, begging for forgiveness regarding their own pairing efforts.

"We just wanted you to find your soul mate!" sincerely said Hourai.

"And kiss!" passionately added Shanghai.

"A-And find love!" urgently interjected Hourai.

"_And have kids_! !" fervently added Shanghai.

"SHANGHAI! !" Hourai yelled down her sister, terrified of Alice's non-faltering smile, "_You're not helping! !"_

"But it's the _truth_, Hourai-nee-chan, we _both _want to see it!" insisted Shanghai, to Hourai's alarm.

"Oh Alice-sama! Please do not believe this bad, _bad_ child!" Hourai prostrated before Alice, "S-S-She's the only one having all these i-indecent delusions about you! I-I would not even _dare_ imagine myself imagining-" she froze as Alice petted both girls on the head.

"… I understand your feelings Hourai, Shanghai, and I forgive you," Alice sighed, and the dolls eased a little, "But _please _don't try anything like that again, okay? My love life is personal and off limits even for you two," Alice wagged a finger at them.

"Y-Yes… Alice-sama… sniffle… Shanghai understands…" Shanghai had but a split second to be devastated before Hourai smacked her hard on the head.

"Ouch! H-Hourai-nee-chan, what was that for? !" Shanghai demanded.

"Are you _even sorry_ for what _you've done_? !" Hourai shouted.

"H-Hey! Why did you leave _yourself_ out, you did some bad things too!" retorted Shanghai, but Hourai was busy being fervent.

"I'm sorry Alice-sama, allow me to properly apologise for both myself and Shanghai!" Hourai was on her knees again on an awkward Alice's lap, "Never again will we interfere in your private matters, Alice-sama! In fact, w-we'll do more than that! We'll impose a restraining order on ourselves! No less than ten miles!" Hourai proposed the ridiculous as Alice glanced away uneasily, unsure of how to handle her new children, "As long as Alice is with her lover, we'll stay away! Alice-sama! Please listen, I'm serious…"

"Supper's done," came Patchouli's voice from the kitchen doorway, and Alice turned to see a good-natured smirk on Patchouli's face. "Looks like you're having trouble with the 'children'," she joked.

"Tell me about it…" Alice sighed a smile, "Alright then, let's eat- Hourai, what are you doing…?" Alice looked at Hourai weirdly as she got up to join Patchouli. Hourai was backing far into the wall, dragging and half choking a protesting Shanghai with her.

"Restraining order is in effect now, Alice-sama!" Hourai explained hastily ("Let go of me! Let go of me, Hourai-nee-chan…!") "Please do enjoy your supper with Patchouili-sama!" she wished.

"Sigh… Hourai! Let go of your younger sister!" Alice reprimanded, "And what _is this_ about a restraining order?"

"T-T-That's because Patchouli-sama's your lover, r-right?" Hourai blurted out as she covered Shanghai's mouth to silence her. Alice startled while Patchouli nearly spat blood, "T-That's why we won't interfere-"

"No, idiot Hourai-nee-chan!" Shanghai just managed to free her mouth from Hourai, "Marisa-sama is the one Alice-sama loves!" she declared. Alice stumbled red-facedly while Patchouli's expression froze.

"S-Shanghai! Hourai! T-That's enough! I told you these things are personal!" Alice scolded, and turned with a huff, "Hmph! Bad children can just stay here and be quiet!" she said, and marched past an uneasy Patchouli, "Come on Patchouli, let's have supper!"

"R-Right, Alice…" Patchouli obediently followed. _Now_ she's just channelling a mother…

Shanghai and Hourai looked on silently, dumbstruck at being scolded for the first time, saddened at having been scolded, and happy at being scolded like children.

"Y-Yes, Alice-sama!" they called out after an awkward Alice eagerly, "We're right staying here! We're staying right here, and we won't say a word!" their voices pinched Alice's conscience as she and Patchouli disappeared into the dining room.

"Not quite what you expected, right?" Patchouli teased, and Alice gave a giggle.

* * *

"Here Alice, it's just some stew, I hope you don't mind," Patchouli brought a tray laden with two bowls to the dining table and handed Alice one.

"No, it's just right, thank you!" Alice dug into the stew as Patchouli seated herself opposite Alice, "Mmm…! It certainly looks good!" she complimented.

Patchouli blushed, "Y-You're just saying that…"

"Yeah, I am," Alice joked, and Patchouli mocked pouting, "Sigh… When I was a little girl, I used to dream of having an entire family of living dolls, each little character my own loving creation… Ahah… B-But now…"

"Two's more than enough, right?" Patchouli giggled, and Alice became sheepish, "Well… Nothing wrong with a little _family planning_," she joked.

"F-Family planning? !" Alice blushed at Patchouli's choice of words, "If we're a family, then who's going to be my 'spouse'-" she stopped mid-retort.

"_T-T-That's because Patchouli-sama's your lover, r-right?"_

Patchouli and Alice's face both reddened significantly. Alice had followed up on Patchouli in jest, only to realise her mistake too late. "A-Ah… L-Let's forget about all that, okay?" Alice averted eyes and took up a spoonful of stew, "R-Really… What troublesome thing was Hourai spouting just now…? I wonder if I can retune her personality…" she tried to casually continue conversation.

"Y-You're right…" Patchouli tried digging into her supper too, and awkward silence followed, punctuated by the mechanical sounds of spoons dipped into bowls of stew.

Nnn… W-What's with this atmosphere? ! Thought Patchouli unhappily. We were supposed to sit down to a nice supper together, maybe even get close to one another…

"A-Alice….?" Patchouli tried harder.

"Mmm?" Alice looked up from her stew.

"Um… Do you want me to help you with your research?" Patchouli asked, "I mean… You'll want to know how your dolls are alive, right? So…"

"Oh… Yes please!" Alice smiled sincerely at her, making Patchouli feel all warm inside, "Now that I know living dolls are possible, it's a mystery I must definitely unlock! I'm counting on you, Patchouli," she said.

"…! S-Sure…" Patchouli habitually dipped her head to hide her burning cheeks behind her book… except it was not a book that was beneath her, and she very nearly face-planted the stew.

"Ahaha… What are you doing, Patchouli?" Alice giggled, and Patchouli's face glowed crimson. Yes! I managed to secure some alone time with Alice! Patchouli thought. Finally, I'll be able to be alone with her in magical… research…

Just like any other day.

"_Are you in this or not?"_ Yuugi's annoyingly dismissively look floated to mind.

"Y-You're wrong! I-I really want her to understand!" Patchouli stood up and announced to an audience of one.

"U-Um… Patchouli…?" Patchouli's eyes refocused on a rather startled Alice before her, and she gasped in shock herself.

"…! Y-Yuugi you idiot!" Patchouli uttered in a high pitched voice.

"Y-Yuugi-san…?" Alice only got more puzzled.

Patchouli became even more flustered. Crap… N-No choice but to go for it!

"A-Alice!" she exclaimed, and Alice jumped.

"Y-Yes, Patchouli?" Alice asked, alarmed.

"D- Do you remember my confession? !" Patchouli, still standing, asked of the seated Alice desperately, and immediately regretted her recklessness. Oh the embarrassment…!

But Alice became quietly pensive and was looking to the side apologetically. Glancing at an earnest Patchouli, she blushed and hesitantly murmured, "O-Of course not… I… remembered…"

Patchouli's spirit rose a little, "T-Then-"

"Sorry, Patchouli…" Alice began, "But I... don't have an answer yet-"

"It's fine!"

Alice looked up, startled as Patchouli panted, conviction on her face, "It's fine… Alice has feelings for Marisa, I already know that! But… it doesn't matter!" she said.

Alice's shock turned to slight disbelief, "Patchouli… what selfish things are you-"

"Who Alice likes… Who Alice chooses… All those are decisions only you can make… Decisions that everyone- no, that _I_ will respect!" Patchouli put a hand to her heart, "But, Alice! Please make a decision only after considering me!" she pleaded, and Alice's eyes widened.

"Alice, you may not have your answer yet… But I have mine! And it's always been you!" Patchouli declared, "That's why… After we settle Shiki Eiki… Please let me know who you choose! Marisa or me, it doesn't matter! So long as you know that I love you!" she re-confessed.

A loud plonk was heard as Alice's spoon fell from her hand into her bowl, and Alice sat just staring at Patchouli wordlessly. Then very suddenly, she bolted up from her chair, her eyes desperately looking down at her feet.

"T-Thank you for the meal!" Alice said hurriedly, and quickly made to exit the kitchen.

"Alice!" Patchouli called out, and Alice froze at the doorway, "Please… Promise me…" she pleaded.

"… S-Sorry!" Alice gave a yelp, and retreated to her bedroom.

Patchouli sighed, then glanced up at the ceiling, relief washing over her.

"Yuugi you idiot… I did it… I told her properly…" she smiled to herself.

**Chapter End**

* * *

"… P-Patchouli you idiot… What was all that about…?" Alice clutched at her pillow tighter, the darkness of the night doing nothing to lull her into sleep, "W-What should I do…?" she asked herself.


	32. Ch 32: Closet Skeletons

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 32: Closet Skeletons**

Kirisame Marisa trembled in her boots, her back to one of the Torii gates of the Hakurei shrine. The air was chilly, the moon was low and dim, and wisps of fog rolled about over the paved courtyard. Before her approached a terrifying figure: a youkai, leaning in towards her, mouth parted, about to consume her…!

"_Marisa-sama…"_

Very briefly, Marisa was reminded of a nightmare she had not too long ago, and a shudder went up her spine as the youkai gingerly held Marisa's shoulders in her clutches. Marisa instinctively kicked away from the figure, or at least she tried to… But her legs would not move! They buckled, Marisa sliding down against the pillar, cold sweat trickling down her neck.

"_Welcome back, our beloved Marisa-ojou-sama…"_

For one moment, Marisa thought she saw not one youkai, but a sea of many before her, all gazing upon her lovingly, her former master Mima standing in the back, looking proudly upon her student. But a far scarier reality snapped to her as the youkai's fingers dug nervously into her flesh, the youkai's face drawing closer and closer, her presented lips quivering. This was no dream… This was real…!

"M-Marisa… Y-You promised, remember…?" the youkai's face was now mere inches away from hers.

"Y-Yes, I-I did say that but…!" Marisa's rear thudded softly onto the stone and slid to give way to her back, so that now only Marisa's shoulders and neck were resting on the pillar. The youkai was now crouched over her, the moon fully hidden behind her. T-Too close…!

"Y-You're not going to back out now, are you…?" breathed the youkai.

"N-Nue…!" Marisa exclaimed, paralysed with fear as Houjuu Nue closed her eyes, ready to lurch forward and claim her human prey.

S-She's going to kiss me…!

* * *

It was night at Reimu's house, and Yuugi and Suika had left (read: been chased off) after they had fixed the house's broken walls. Marisa was staying for the night, so that she and Reimu could plan on how to defeat (read: obliterate) Shiki Eiki. Patchouli and Alice had gone home, courtesy of Yukari's gaps, to the do the same. Yukari would also be sending the four of them directly to Shiki Eiki tomorrow, so she too was allowed to stay at the shrine. Which left three unexplained presences.

Firstly, Seiga and Koishi had stayed too, to Reimu's annoyance. However, Koishi put up a strangely tough resistance, insisting she wanted to see Hourai and Shanghai in the morning. Reimu had tried to chase them out too, but the duo were proving evasive, and in the end Reimu relented on the condition that they would definitely leave tomorrow. It was purely coincidental that Seiga was paying generously for a sumptuous hotpot supper tonight.

And that left Houjuu Nue.

"You there!" Reimu asked her unwanted guest stiffly as everyone was eating about the table, "What are _you_ still doing here?"

Nue looked up from her rice bowl and scowled. Just a minute ago, Reimu was so adamant about Seiga leaving, and now her attitude towards the wicked hermit had turned on a dime… like, literally…

"Reimu-_san_," Nue put down her chopsticks just as stiffly, "If you don't want me to be here, then just say it-"

"A-Ah…! Now, now… Let's not argue over hotpot, ze!" Marisa mediated, "Good food is meant to be enjoyed as a group, right?" she asked around the table.

"We could use more sake though," said Yukari.

"And some entertainment," Seiga added.

"Koishi wants desert!" the satori raised her arm enthusiastically.

"Grr… Why are people always insisting on holding parties here? !" fumed Reimu, "And Marisa! You and I are going to be challenging Shiki Eiki to a duel tomorrow! Do we really have the time to enjoy ourselves-"

"Oh Reimu-_nee-san_~" called out Seiga as she discreetly pressed more change into Reimu's hands, "I'm sorry to bother you, but some sake right now would really be nice!" she chimed.

"Ah! Just one minute- Wait, why have I suddenly turned into a waitress in my own home? !" Reimu, finally mustering the will to break Seiga's spell on her, nearly threw the coins into the hotpot to the amusement of the others.

"You!" in her frustration, Reimu turned on Nue again, "Fine! You can stay for now! But once supper is over-"

"I understand, I understand!" Nue got up, all irritated, "Sheesh! Do you ever stop your nagging? ! You remind me of my mother whom I've not seen in a thousand years!" The others watched as Nue made for the door.

"W-Wait… Y-You're leaving already…?" asked Marisa, concerned for Nue.

"Yeah, I've had my fill… Thank you for the meal!" Nue huffed and made to exit the house.

"H-Hang on!" Marisa too got up, to the surprise of everyone, "At least let me see you off ze," she offered.

"Huh…? –W-Why? There's no need!" "W-Wait… W-Why? ! T-There's no need…" both Reimu and Nue had exclaimed at the same time.

"Well… I feel kind of like I haven't properly thanked Nue yet for saving me that night, so…" Marisa rubbed the back of her head with a sheepish grin. Nue blushed while confusion and disappointment crept into Reimu's expression.

"Fine… See her off and come back quick, 'kay?" Reimu had turned away under the pretence of clearing the table.

"Ahah! Thanks, Reimu!" Marisa said gratefully and tugged at the arm of a very flustered Nue, "Come on! Unless you want to make it home only by the next midnight!" she and Nue left.

Seiga and Koishi glanced after them, then worriedly at Reimu as Yukari shook her head in disbelief.

"… Idiot Marisa…" muttered Reimu as she cleared up the hotpot regardless of whether the other three youkai were done eating or not.

* * *

"So! Um… Thanks for all you've done for me, ze! I sure didn't imagine I would be saved by a youkai one day," Marisa said as she and Nue stood under the Torii gates in the misty night, "Well, thanks at least for not eating me when I was vulnerable," she chuckled.

"W-Well… It was _quite hard_ to resist…" Nue said, though she meant it metaphorically.

"Um… Yeah, so that's it…!" Marisa finished, and for a moment the two looked at each other awkwardly.

"Hey… You didn't even think of how to say goodbye properly, did you?" Nue sighed, and Marisa chuckled again sheepishly.

"Ahah… Sorry, sorry! See you again sometime, Nue!" Marisa wished her cheerily. But Nue didn't leave.

"Marisa…?" she suddenly asked.

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean you owe me a favour…?" Nue began tentatively.

"Uh… Huh… I guess so!" Marisa rubbed the back of her head, "You're right, I do owe you one ze!"

"Mmm… Then you'll do anything I ask you?" Nue was staring hard at her twiddling fingers.

"Sure!" Marisa grinned, "You're my dear friend after all, da ze!"

"… 'Dear'… huh… You should draw your lines a little clearer… ze…" Nue blushingly imitated Marisa's speech tic.

But it was not the strange act of Nue doing so that suddenly unnerved Marisa. It was the way Nue was now looking straight into her eyes. It reminded her of something uncomfortable… That, and Nue was suddenly uncomfortably close, a finger on her wondering lips.

"E-Erm… N-Nue-san…?" Marisa backed away towards the Torii gate.

"Marisa, my '_dear_' friend… You'll do anything, right…?" Nue's lips closed in.

* * *

"… You can open your eyes now Marisa," came Nue's voice from beyond the tightly shut darkness of Marisa's eyelids.

"E-Eh…?" Marisa, still slumped on the ground, did as she was told, and Nue came into view, now standing a distance away with her side profile facing her, her expression wry. "I-I don't understand ze," Marisa felt her lips, "Y-You didn't-"

"Did you really want me to kiss you?" Nue asked dryly, "Or… Were you secretly hoping I would…?" Nue glanced over mockingly.

"Ah! O-Of course not!" Marisa got up indignantly, "It's just… I-I promised, so…" she trailed off.

Nue sighed, "Haah… Hey Marisa," she took a step in, "If I had asked you to be let me be your girlfriend, would you have let me?" she asked.

"W-What? ! O-Of course not!" Marisa blurted out, but immediately felt bad about saying it so bluntly, "W-Well, don't get me wrong ze! I-It's not like you're not likable or anything- Wait, what am I saying…?" Marisa flustered about, "I-I didn't mean it like that! I-I-It's just…" Nue watched in pained amusement as Marisa's clumsy attempts at being considerate.

"… Marisa-san already has someone she likes, doesn't she?" sighed Nue.

Marisa jumped and looked at her feet embarrassedly, "Y-Yeah… Sorry…" she muttered.

"Well then, why didn't you just tell me that, instead of trying so hard to be nice to me?" Nue crossed her arms, "Gee, I wonder how the person you like would feel if she had just heard what you said…?" Nue offhandedly remarked.

"E-Eh? !" Marisa startled, "W-Was it that bad… what I just said…?" the magician looked down anxiously.

"Of course it was!" Nue sighed again, "Haah… I know, I know… You're just really, stupidly big hearted…" she chuckled, "To be honest… That's the part I like about you…" Nue blushed, and so did Marisa, "But! A special person… mmm… has to be treated a little more specially than others… is what I think… right?" she glanced at Marisa, "I mean… I would hate it myself if my special person decided to kiss 'a friend' as a favour… I would want such things for myself alone…" Nue scratched her reddened cheek.

Marisa gazed upon Nue with growing realisation. Reimu being angry all those times when she was just 'being nice' to Alice… All of a sudden, these small incidents made painful sense to her...

"A-Ah… So she _was_ jealous after all…" Marisa worriedly mumbled to herself.

"Isn't that right?" Nue huffed, "_That person_ that Marisa probably likes… I bet she's probably sitting in the house right now, thinking what an idiot her girlfriend is to want to escort the lovable Nue-san out alone, in the middle of the night…" Marisa cringed as Nue mischievously teased her.

"You're probably right… W-Wait a minute, da ze!" Marisa jumped, "H-How do you know it's Reimu? !" she asked Nue.

"That's strange… I don't recall mentioning her…" Nue's smirk widened as Marisa grew more flustered. "Ahaha… Hey, Marisa…" her tone suddenly grew softer, "You still owe me a favour, right…?"

"… I understand, Nue," Marisa stepped towards Nue as she looked straight at her, "I've learned my lesson today… Sorry, but I'm afraid my friendship is all I have to offer right now ze…" Marisa sheepishly extended a hand.

Nue smiled, "Then I'll consider your debt partially repaid," she locked eyes with Marisa and shook her hand.

"E-Eh? ! O-Only partially repaid? !" Marisa blinked as Nue stepped back with a mischievous look.

"I'll be waiting for the rest someday," she said naughtily and flew off, "Don't forget about it!" Nue said as she disappeared into the night.

"O-Oi! T'ch… troublesome youkai…" Marisa sighed a smile. Hey… Doesn't that make me even more in debt to you now? She wryly thought. But soon, Marisa's thoughts turned to Reimu. She… did look kind of upset when I said I was going to see Nue off… Marisa mentally cringed. M-Maybe I should go make it up with her…? Decided Marisa as she turned to return to the house- Wah? !

Before her, standing just as uncomfortably close to her as Nue had, was the infamous eavesdropper of Gensokyo, Yakumo Yukari.

"A-Ah! I-It's not what you think!" Marisa began blurting mindlessly.

"That only makes you sound guilty…" mused Yukari, "Relax, I saw _everything_," she put a finger on Marisa's lips to silence the child, "And you haven't disappointed me… _Yet_…" she gave a cruel smile and vanished into the darkness just as suddenly as she had appeared, "Oh… and I won't tell Reimu-chan anything… Unless of course you _want_ me to…" echoed Yukari's voice from the night, "See you tomorrow…" a silence resounding with sniggering followed.

Marisa sweat-dropped. Maybe she should apologise to Reimu after all…

* * *

"Erm… A-Are you angry, Reimu…?" cautiously asked Marisa from the table.

"Of course I'm not," answered Reimu's back from across the table.

Seiga and Koishi sniggered from their front row seats against the wall.

"Y-You're not looking this way, Reimu-"

"Where did that idiot Yukari go to anyway? !" hunched up Reimu's shoulders as she crossed her arms, "Wasn't she supposed to help us tomorrow?"

"Ahh… I-I'm sure she'll be back tomorrow-"

"You two had better leave by tomorrow, got it? !" Reimu now redirected her misdirected irritation at Seiga and Koishi.

"R-Reimu…!"

"What? !" Reimu snapped around, and Marisa nearly leapt away from the table.

"I-I was just going to ask what you're angry about…" Marisa asked timidly to the sound of more sniggers.

"Angry? ! Me? ! I'm not angry!" denied Reimu angrily, "I'm not angry that you've been really nice to every other girl right in front of me! I'm not angry that you're a block head! I'm not angry that you seem so happy with Nue!" Reimu was biting down on her lower lip indignantly, and Marisa could not help but chuckle at this rare image of the shrine maiden.

"H-Hey ze… I think you're mistaken about me and Nue…" Marisa held up her hands defensively, "Nue was just giving me a little advice just now-"

"Advice on what?" was Reimu's tart question.

"Well… She was telling me that I should do something more special for the one I like…" Marisa unfairly but not untruthfully answered. It was an angle of attack Reimu had not foreseen.

"H-Huh? ! W-What? !" a red-faced Reimu actually leapt from the table, and the sniggers turned to open laughter.

"So… Are you still angry at me now?" Marisa asked hopeful-

"O-Of course I am!" Reimu blurted, "You two over there! Quiet!" she snapped at the chortling Seiga and Koishi.

"Heh… So you _were_ angry ze-"

"I-I-I've had enough of you!" Reimu trembled at Marisa, her eyes darting all over the floor, "T-Tea! I'm going to go make tea!" she began retreating to the kitchen.

"Reimu!" called out Marisa, and Reimu paused.

"… Sorry," she apologised sincerely.

"… Idiot…" Reimu gave an unseen smile, and hurried into the kitchen.

"Awww…" Marisa turned to the cooing sounds of Seiga and Koishi, "How sweet~" they chimed.

"You two really are rather annoying, aren't you, da ze…" Marisa half-deadpanned, half-chuckled.

Bump!

"What was that?" Seiga glanced over at the low cabinet where the sound had issued from. Koishi silenced her 'Ooops!' with a hand. Marisa froze. I-I had forgotten all about her…

Bump! Bump!

"W-What _is_ that, it's pretty persistent…" Seiga walked over to the cabinet.

"N-No! Don't open it!" Marisa's plea came too late as Seiga opened up the cabinet doors.

It was her beloved Miyako Yoshika, bound, gagged, and finally conscious again.

Koishi giggled sheepishly while Marisa trembled. Seiga turned around rigidly.

"… My, my, Marisa-san~" she sang evilly, "And to think you'd just made up with Reimu a moment ago…~ Ara… How _wild_ of Marisa-san, hiding another woman right here… _My familiar no less…_"

"N-No! It's all a misunderstand- O-Oi! Why am I being defensive here, ze? !" Marisa rebounded, "Stupid hermit! Your Jiang Shi's the one that kept chasing me all the way here!" she counterattacked.

"That's right, Seiga-onee-chan," Koishi added cheerily, "Yoshika-chan's in love with Marisa-onee-chan!"

"D-Don't phrase it like that!" cried Marisa.

"Eh? ! M-My dear Yoshika's found love? !" Seiga suddenly turned from coldly sinister to weirdly sinister as she gazed at her zombie with what could only be described as a twisted version of motherly pride, "Y-Yoshika-tan… Ahh… A Marisa x Yoshika pairing… Why didn't I think of such a wonderful thing? !" Seiga wept with joy.

"OI!" went Marisa.

"Mmm mmm mmm!" went Yoshika, presumably desperate to utter 'Jonas-sama'.

"Grr…! L-Listen! You have to help me!" Marisa pleaded Seiga, "Reimu's going to misunderstand when she finds out and frankly this is your fault for not keeping your familiar on a leash so-"

"Hmmm…? What was that…?" Seiga went meanly as Marisa's desperation grew, "Is this the sort of tone to ask someone a favour in?"

"Ahh! Please, please, please! You've got to help me! I don't want to anger Reimu again!" Marisa got down on her knees.

"A-Ahaha… L-Let's help her, okay Seiga-onee-chan?" Koishi asked sympathetically.

"Alright then, but on one condition…" Seiga grinned wickedly.

* * *

"What's going on?" Reimu inquired as she returned with a tray of tea, "I heard a lot of noise from here just now…"

"Oh no, everything's alright," serenely answered Seiga.

"Yes, everything's okay!" chimed Koishi.

"Sniff… yes… okay… da ze…" Marisa had just promised to let Seiga see her collection of odd treasure, and take whichever she fancied. For a kleptomaniac, it was nigh unbearable. To make things worse, Yoshika was haphazardly sitting right next to Seiga before Reimu, hidden only by Koishi's powers alone.

"… Then shall we make some last minute preparations for tomorrow's duel?" Reimu though a little confused let matters slide.

"Mmm hmm!" "Yay!" "Hai…"

**Chapter End**

* * *

"I-It's been bothering me for some time now…" said Reimu awhile later uncomfortably, "But why does it feel like there's something heavy on my lap…?"

Seiga beamed her brightest enigmatically. Koishi sweat-dropped. Marisa was frothing at the mouth in fear.

[_Yoshika was seated on top of Reimu's lap, caressing her face and calling her 'Jonas-sama'…_]


	33. Ch 33: Final Boss

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 33: Final Boss**

"Alright… Are you girls ready?" asked Yukari as she addressed the four girls gathered before her.

It was early morning at the Hakurei shrine, where seven figures plus two smaller ones had gathered in the courtyard: Yukari, with a large portal open behind her, Alice, Reimu, Marisa and Patchouli standing in that order before her, Shanghai and Hourai accompanying them, with Seiga and Koishi watching from the sidelines.

"I'm more than ready," answered Reimu.

"That Enma Shiki Eiki's been real quiet lately ze," Marisa grinned, "Maybe she thinks we'll just forget what she's done if she holes up underground?"

"Not a chance," Reimu crossed her arms.

"So this portal will take us straight to Hell's courts?" observed Patchouli, "Doesn't it seem too easy?"

"Getting to Hell is always easy, Patchouli-san," Yukari smiled, "It's the getting out part that's difficult."

"And you'll definitely get us out?" asked Alice.

"Only if you don't die down there, Alice-san," was Yukari's macabre joke.

"Relax! It's us four against one simple Hell Judge, it'll be a cinch!" puffed Marisa with confidence, "Reimu and I were up all night last night, you should see how many spell cards we brought, ze!" she turned to Patchouli.

"Alice and I are similarly prepared," Patchouli answered, "Right, Alice?" she gave Alice a smile.

"Huh? A-Ah, yeah…" Alice turned away, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden. Patchouli smile turned apologetic. Reimu and Marisa perplexedly glanced between the two.

"Is something wro-"

"N-No! Everything's fine!" "Haah… Nope, everything's fine…" were Alice and Patchouli's simultaneous answers. Reimu and Marisa looked at each other and shrugged.

"Well… If you're ready…" began Yukari, but she was interrupted by Koishi, who had rushed up to Shanghai and Hourai.

"Koishi-sama…?" the two children looked at Koishi confusedly.

"W-Wait!" Koishi said, then turned to the two dolls concernedly, "Um… H-Hourai-chan, Shanghai-chan… K-Koishi sort of feels like she's partly responsible for all that's happening, so… um…" she looked about her for the words. Unable to find them, Koishi took a step back and decided to express her feelings directly, bowing before the two girls, "H-Hourai-chan, Shanghai-chan! I-I'm really sorry!"

"E-Eh? ! K-Koishi-sama...!" Shanghai rushed over to stop Koishi, "I-It's okay! Koishi-sama's helped us a lot too so…"

"Y-Yeah…" consoled Hourai, joining her sister, "I mean… your plot and Shiki-sama's totally separate, right?"

Koishi frowned, "S-Still…"

Reimu shook her head and sighed, "Is this what you stayed for?" was her veiled compliment.

"It's alright," backed Alice, "Shanghai and Hourai like you, so you can't be a bad person, right, Koishi-chan?"

"A-Alice-onee-san…" Koishi looked up gratefully.

"None of us here hold it against you two," Reimu told Koishi and Seiga, "At least… not entirely… Even you, you wicked hermit," she said to Seiga with some disdain.

"Nice to know I've been given a partial pardon," smiled Seiga airily.

"Oi… You've forgiven her ever since she paid for last night's supper, haven't you…?" Marisa sweat-dropped.

"You two... Please, promise me two things…" said Koishi to Hourai and Shanghai, "Please watch out for yourselves down there… It's dangerous, and… D-Don't call me 'Koishi-sama' all the time it… I want to be friends with you two…" she wished sincerely.

Hourai and and Shanghai, slightly startled, looked at each other, then smiled sweetly at Koishi, "Yes! Koishi-onee-chan!" they chimed.

"A-Ahh…! H-How wonderful…!" Koishi clutched at her heart, eyes widening to a new, unknown pleasure.

"U-Um… You two may have created something unnecessary here…" Alice remarked awkwardly.

"Ah~ Koishi-chan~ Now you know how I feel whenever you call me 'onee-chan'…~" sang Seiga.

"Alright, if that's all, let's get going. I don't want to get there only to find Shiki Eiki having died of idiocy or some other thing…" urged Reimu, and Marisa, Alice and Patchouli followed her to face the portal once more. Koishi went back to Seiga's side, and the two gave each other furtive glances.

"Right this way," Yukari stepped aside and ushered them in, "Just give me a shout when you're done~"

"Watch the house for me! A-And don't do anything strange in it!" called back Reimu to Yukari.

"Hai, hai~! Have fun~!" Yukari waved goodbye, and watched as the four girls disappeared within it, "Now Seiga-san, Koishi-chan, what should we do to pass the time?" she asked the other two, "Perhaps we should help ourselves to Reimu's tea and snacks- Seiga-san, Koishi-chan?" Yukari glanced around her and… found herself… alone?

"Eh…? Where did those two go…?" she asked no one, the portal closing behind her.

* * *

"So… you finally came?" a tiny figure of immense authority arose from behind her desk to confront the four girls standing before her. All around them, the dim bluish flames of the grandly hollow court flickered embers and shadows, giving the large, Chinese-styled hall a foreboding feeling. The innocent that arrive shall feel guilty, and the guilty condemned… Such is the fate of those who come to be judged in Hell!

"I have been waiting…" Shiki Eiki addressed the girls before her.

"Shiki Eiki! Today's the day you're going to pay for messing with us!" declared Reimu.

"Our relationships are not yours to toy with, Shiki EIki," hissed Patchouli.

"I got into quite a lot of trouble thanks to you!" said Alice.

"You've dragged quite others into it too, ze!" Marisa's fingers twitched near her hakkero.

"Fine…" Shiki Eiki cast her fingers about the hall, and the grand doors slammed shut and bolted themselves, surprising the others. She… means to face us alone…?

"Haah… The plan was a failure…" Shiki Eiki admitted as she stood up, "Too many unwanted people got themselves involved… Ironically, my desire to make my unilateral actions transparent to others may have jeopardised it," Shiki Eiki stated as she walked out from behind her desk, "Perhaps next time I shall be a bit more discreet about my decisions…"

"Shiki Eiki!" cried out all four girls, "You don't regret what you've done? !"

"No!" answered Shiki Eiki, "I was trying to give Gensokyo what it sorely needed: Common sense!"

"You're what's lacking common sense!" Alice retorted, "Gensokyo's behaviour displeases you, so you're coming after us? !"

"If there are people like Yuuka who are stalking Alice, Reimu and Marisa, why are you punishing the victims?" Patchouli demanded quietly.

"Yeah, Gensokyo being full of idiots isn't exactly our problem, is it, da ze?" Marisa put her arms behind her head with a smirk.

Shiki Eiki looked troubled, "W-Well, yes… you all make valid points, but… Argh! I-I was trying to be more efficient!" she rebounded with conviction, "It's far faster to deal with the four of you than to handle the denizens of Gensokyo-"

"So basically the Supreme Judge of Hell is looking to cut corners, huh!" the three magicians hit back.

"K-Kuh…!" Shiki Eiki faltered, "I-I'm not cutting corners… S-Selfish! !" the little Enma suddenly broke her composure, "I'm tired! I'm tired of this job, and I'm tired of having to face the spirits of all these tainted, creepy youkai fangirls of yours at the end of their time!" she wailed like a little kid, "You don't have to think about it because all you mortals see when people die is them dying, but for me it's like an endless session of confession! Soul after soul coming into my court, me having to listen to their most embarrassing desires and crushes about one of you! Well, I'm tired of it all-" her rant was cut short by an amulet cutting through the air right past her ear.

"_That's your job, you stupid Enma… I don't care about it one bit!_" hissed Reimu. Alice, Patchouli and Marisa looked at her uneasily. T-That's being a little cold, isn't it…?

"H-Hey, Shiki Eiki… It sounds like you're incredibly stressed ze…" sympathised Marisa, "Why don't you… you know, just take a vacation?" she suggested.

"… I've got the best record to maintain in Hell…" Shiki Eiki mumbled, gazing downwards sheepishly, "… I'm going on to my 14 873rd 'Employee of the Year' award…"

"THEN THAT'S REALLY YOUR PROBLEM ISN'T IT? !" all four girls screamed.

"Grr…! In any case, the idiots are all idiots for the four of you, so you have responsibility too!" Shiki Eiki accused, "Hurry up and get married or something between the four of you! I no longer want to see crazed fangirls in my court anymore!"

"AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE SAYING IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM! !" Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli drew their spell cards.

"Arrgh! ! So be it!" Shiki Eiki rose up likewise, "If I cannot get you to comply, then I shall make you! I judge you four… GUILTY! !"

* * *

BOOM! ! Cough, sputter sputter…

"O-Ow… Oh come on…!" grimaced Shiki Eiki as she lay smashed against her own desk, the very table upon which judgments were read out lying splintered about her, Reimu, Marisa, Patchouli and Alice standing triumphantly before her.

"Well, that wasn't too difficult, ze!" laughed Marisa.

"Ouch…! Y-You brats…!" struggled Shiki Eiki in pain.

"Don't you think that was a bit merciless though…?" remarked Patchouli, a little amused, "I mean we didn't even grant _the _Enma of Gensokyo a fight scene…"

"She doesn't deserve one!" spat Reimu.

"Shanghai, Hourai, great job!" Alice praised her little generals.

"Yes, Alice-sama!" Shanghai and Hourai lowered their lances and tickled Alice with cute salutes. Behind them each was a legion of a hundred other dolls.

"Y-You really brought a lot this time, huh…?" Marisa gazed at the floating army about her in wonder.

"I was just being cautious," winked Alice at Marisa, sending chills down the latter's spine.

"Argh…! Komachiii! !" shrieked Shiki Eiki to the air, "Where are you? ! I know I told you that they were mine to handle, but couldn't you have come to my aid when you saw me in trouble? !" she demanded.

"Eh…?" the others were puzzled, "Komachi?" Their questions were answered when suddenly a bright pink light flashed through the air and in hopped Shiki Eiki's subordinate shikigami, Onozuka Komachi.

"S-Sorry, Shiki-sama!" Komachi hurried over (not all that urgently, and chuckling even) to her boss, "But your orders were clear-"

"Do you not have a brain, Komachi? !" Shiki Eiki shrilled, "Your boss is getting beaten up and you're still standing by the sidelines? !"

"W-Well, to be honest, I found it a pain to interfere…" sheepishly admitted Komachi, Marisa and the others sweat-dropping.

"I knew it! I just knew it!" Shiki Eiki reached up and twisted Komachi's ear.

"O-O-Ow! S-Shiki-sama! Why are you doing this to me? !" Komachi pleaded, "W-What have I done wrong? !"

"What have you done wrong? !" cried out Shiki Eiki, "P-Pairing these girls up was all _your idea in the first place_! !"

Silence. Silence in the court.

"What…?" Reimu and the others started dangerously. Komachi froze.

"W-What are you saying, S-Shiki-sama…?" Komachi glanced up frightened at the approaching girls, "D-Don't say such inconvenient things like that…"

"T'ch…! At least take some of the blame, you useless shinigami!" Shiki Eiki refused the right to remain silent, "You were the one who suggested it!"

"Komachi-san…?" Komachi found four girls breathing down her neck.

"N-Now listen, you guys!" Komachi spun round defensively, "I-It was just a joke okay? I mean, oh come on!" she stood up from Shiki Eiki's side and urged, "S-Shiki-sama was grumbling about just how many people in Gensokyo are in love with you girls, s-so I said 'Well, they won't have a chance if they are already engaged, will they?' T-That's all I said!" she insisted in vain as Reimu and the others continued to back her up towards the wall, "I-It was just a passing comment, nothing more! I-I had no idea Shiki-sama would be _s-stupid enough_ to actually try it!" she flattened herself against the wall as Reimu came within an inch of her.

"… So… what? It's still your idea?" Reimu spoke for the other three behind her.

"I-It was just a passing comment!" Komachi pleaded innocence.

"… Hey? You don't mind if I take her, do you?" Reimu asked of Marisa, Alice and Patchouli.

"No, no, not at all… Do help yourself," the others replied off-handedly.

"… Then..." Reimu moved to slam an amulet straight onto Komachi, but the ferryman suddenly disappeared.

"She teleported away, huh…?" Reimu and the others turned around to see Komachi reappear in the centre of the court, looking rather on edge.

"You're… not going to let me go on this, are you?" she asked nervously.

"Nope," the four girls replied, redrawing their spell cards, ready to stomp upon Komachi as they did with Shiki Eiki. But…

"Haah… What a pain…" Komachi grumbled, screwing her eyes shut as she took in a deep breath, "I don't really want this, but… I guess sometimes there's just no helping it…!" her deep pink eyes gleamed red as she opened them determinedly. Out from the air Komachi traced her signature giant scythe, which she now spun above her hand before rotating it expertly about and behind her, the ferryman assuming an imposing fighting stance.

Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli were surprised by the sudden change in Komachi. "You're not thinking you can actually take us all on, do you?" Reimu asked, "Things went horribly wrong for your boss when _she_ tried it."

"Yeah… not to mention Reimu and I have beaten you before. Individually," added Marisa.

But Patchouli was not so sure. "Back at the autumn festival… she was rather difficult to deal with, wasn't she…?" Patchouli recalled, and Reimu and Marisa glanced at her, her observation slightly shaking their confidence.

"You _are_ serious…" observed Alice.

"I don't mean to be, sorry," apologised Komachi, "Being serious takes up a lot of energy, and I didn't become strong so that I'd have to spend every day struggling through life…" she said, "If anything, if there were a confrontation, I'd… give it a little go and just give up if it's too much," she shrugged.

"Wait… Are you saying you went easy on us back during 'Phantasgomoria of Flower View'?" Reimu asked incredulously, "That's quite a bold claim isn't it?"

"Ahaha… D-Don't get me wrong! It's not like I disrespect you or anything!" Komachi hurriedly bowed in apology, "I-It's just you two _are quite_ powerful, so… g-going all out to defeat you just isn't an easy prospect… Ahaha…" she hastily bowed a couple of times again with a few 'Sorry's.

"Are you kidding me? !" Marisa exclaimed, "Argh…! That just makes me frustrated to know that, ze!" she grumbled.

"So what makes you want to go serious this time, _Komachi-san_?" asked Reimu quietly.

"You know…" Komachi glanced down difficultly while giving her scythe an absent-minded twirl, its large blade heavily slicing through the air, "Ah… There're just some things that are worth fighting for sometimes… I was reading my manga so peacefully before Shiki-sama selfishly dragged me into this!" she pouted, the blade carelessly striking deep into the ground with a resounding 'tang', "I won't be able to get back to _that_ with you four breathing down my necks, will I…?" Komachi reeled in her scythe, slicing deep the earth it was dug into.

"We'll end this right now!" Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli leapt fourth once more to battle.

"Get out of my way! My fiction is waiting for me!" Komachi rushed forwards to meet them.

**Chapter End**

* * *

[_"…! S-Seiga-onee-chan! T-They're fighting again!"_]

[_"It'll be alright, Koishi-chan… They defeated Shiki Eiki no problem, so Komachi-san should be easy… right…?"_]


	34. Ch 34: It Ends Now!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 34: It Ends Now!**

As the four girls rushed to meet Komachi, both Patchouli and Alice pulled forward, forming magic circles.

"Alice," Patchouli signalled.

"Okay…!" Alice twirled her magic circle to her side, and from the path formed emerged three dolls, the middle one glowing bright white. "Puppeteer Sign! 'Maiden's Bunraku!'" with her command, the glowing doll released a white laser, which frayed into harsh blizzard winds, surrounding Komachi and limiting her vision.

"What are they up to...? Woah! Gotta watch out for that!" Komachi, found herself dodging hard incoming streams of red and blue danmaku fired rapidly by Alice's other two dolls, "Tricky… But nothing I can't handle!" said Komachi confidently, who immediately retracted it, "Wait… I shouldn't be saying that… What if they toss me harder challenges? That will be a pain- Wah? !" Komachi leapt frantically away as something invisible glanced off her scythe with so much force that it stung her hand badly.

"Ow…!" Komachi squinted through the blizzard. Accompanying the icy winds and danmaku were nearly transparent lances of… ice?

"Water Sign! 'Bury in Lake!'" Patchouli had casted in tandem with Alice.

"Eek…!" Komachi kept trying to dodge, her jaws clenched hard. The snow just makes it harder to see them…! This really is a pain… Kuh! No good! Komachi tumbled and somersaulted through the air, her scythe encircling her in a flurry of slashes, deflecting ice, snow and danmaku all over the place.

"Nnn…! She's quite skilled, isn't she…?" Alice admitted, focusing hard.

"She's being forced to defend though! Keep attacking, we'll get her eventually!" said Patchouli.

"But that's not fast enough ze!" Marisa came bursting between the two impatiently.

"H-Hey! Marisa, you're throwing us off!" complained Patchouli and Alice.

"I'll end this in one shot! Love Sign! 'Masteeer Spaaark'! !" Marisa fired without hesitation, nearly singeing her two allies as a giant beam of blue light cutting straight through Shiki Eiki's courtroom, blowing through all the ice and forming a furious vortex of hail.

"M-Marisa!" cried Patchouli and Alice.

"What do you think, ze?" Marisa turned to them, smiling, "I changed the colour to match your danmaku-"

"That doesn't matter, you idiot!" the two witches chided the third irately.

"T-That looks dangerous…" Komachi stood facing the incoming laser, ice and danmaku pinning her down, "T'ch… No choice then…!" she held her scythe before her, a faint pink aura surrounding her. Marisa's master spark hit Komachi head on, exploding violently, and…!

… Nothing. Before the magicians, Komachi stood unharmed.

"...? ! What the…?" Marisa was in disbelief.

"She blocked it? !" Alice gasped, "And she's not even scratched…"

"No… It's hardly surprising, is it?" said Patchouli uneasily, "We've seen something like this from her before, back at the fight at the festival…"

"… Ah!" Marisa recalled, "Back then, she made all danmaku harmless to the villagers..."

"And it looks like this time it's harmless to her! How's she doing it…?" asked Alice.

Right then, Komachi's taunt from that night resurfaced in Patchouli's mind:_ "You can't hurt what you can't hit, and you can't hit what you can't reach!"_

She gasped in realisation, "Don't tell me…"

"You three are pretty slow, aren't you?" the three magicians looked over their shoulder and back again as Reimu shot past the three of them, "Keep her occupied, I'll take her on!" she brandished her gohei tightly in her hand as she sped towards Komachi.

"Okay… Now!" Alice gave another command, and suddenly Hourai and Shanghai appeared out of the blizzard behind Komachi, each leading a platoon of twenty dolls, all armed with gleaming red lances.

"We've been waiting for this moment!" Shanghai announced.

"Go! For Alice-sama!" cried Hourai.

"Spy Sign! 'Seeker Dolls!'" declared the two children, upon which all the dolls fired interlacing beams that threatened to surround Komachi and dice her up.

"Huh… So the blizzard didn't just hide danmaku, huh…?" Komachi smiled in admiration, "That's not bad! But sorry, I've no intention of being defeated today… so forgive me if I don't… _hold back_!" she suddenly brought her scythe in close, her arm tensing as she prepared her attack.

"Soul Sign! 'Scythe of Wandering Spirits!'" flicking her scythe out and spinning around in one precise, dizzying circle, a razor-wind of pink energy cutting out through the air, slicing all the dolls in half and leaving petals of burning pink behind, as if the dolls themselves had bled.

"…! Hourai! Shanghai!" Alice reeled the two girls in by puppet strings just as the wave of energy barely missed their heads.

"Got you!"

Komachi glanced up and quickly spun her scythe back in behind her, herself twirling to present her back to her assailant as Reimu suddenly appeared out of a boundary on top of Komachi, her gohei finding the top of the scythe's blade with a hard strike, sparks emitting from the point of impact.

"Kuh… Y-You have a little bit of that gap youkai's powers… d-don't you…?" Komachi half-grinned, half-grimaced over her shoulder, "Really strong people like you are _really_ troublesome, don't you know…?" she grinned shakily from the effort of blocking Reimu.

"You must be pretty tough yourself if you can still make remarks like that…" returned Reimu, "So… As I thought…" her eyes scrutinised the strike she had landed against Komachi before suddenly falling through her with a yelp. No… It was more like she fell _before_ Komachi…

"Well that was surprising, even though I expected it…" Reimu glanced up at the Komachi now above her, shattered dolls floating all about them.

"Reimu! Why did you suddenly stop attacking her, ze? !" Marisa called from where she, Patchouli and Alice were watching.

"Shut up, Marisa!" Reimu shouted back, "This shinigami's… a little more than troublesome…"

"Alice-sama!" cried Hourai and Shanghai as they returned to Alice, "We're so sorry! T-The other dolls, they…!" they looked back tearfully at the broken dolls about Komachi.

"Don't worry, Shanghai, Hourai… Their sacrifices won't be in vain!" Alice shuddered angrily, "Reimu! Get away!" she stepped forth and yanked on invisible strings.

Reimu gave one glance at the broken dolls, gasped and teleported away, Komachi confused by her actions.

"Magic Sign! 'Artful Sacrifice!'" Alice hurriedly declared, and suddenly all the dolls exploded in a ring of destructive power about the shinigami! But just as before…!

"T'ch…!" Alice clenched her jaws as the cloud of smoke revealed Komachi completely unharmed.

"So it really is like that…" Patchouli observed Komachi difficultly.

"Patchy! Reimu! What's going on, ze? !" demanded Marisa as Reimu returned to the other three.

"Marisa… Didn't you once say that Komachi-san has the power to control distances?" Patchouli recalled, "What if you could make the distance between you an attack so great that it would never reach you, not even a laser or a giant explosion? It would make you invulnerable, wouldn't it?" she said.

Marisa gasped, "S-So that's her secret! What a cheap trick, ze!"

"B-But how will we get her?" asked Alice anxiously.

"It's simple," said Reimu, "You counter-attack _just after_ _she_ attacks. That was how I was able to strike her just now," she explained, "She herself can't land a hit over a great distance, so when she attacks, she inevitably exposes herself."

"As sharp eyed as ever, shrine maiden of Hakurei," complimented Komachi, "But too bad! I'm not going to give you too many chances to get me! It would be a pain…" she shrugged, "You'll just have to be good little girls now and leave me alone! Go home now! Shoo, shoo!" she waved her hand in illustration.

"And did _your_ Shiki Eiki leave us alone to our own affairs?" demanded Reimu angrily.

"Hii…! I-I've told you! This has got nothing to do with me!" pleaded Komachi, but she was interrupted by Shiki Eiki, watching defeated from a corner.

"That's my shinigami!" Shiki Eiki cheered to Komachi's dismay, "You see! You _can_ be outstanding when you try! Go get them, Komachi!" she instructed.

"… You're not really in a position to tell me what to do right now, you know that right…?" slumped Komachi with a sigh.

"Seems like your superior hasn't learnt her lesson yet," Reimu wielded her gohei again, "You three coordinate your spells, I'll find openings to get her," she told Marisa, Patchouli and Alice, "If we do this properly, we can finish this quickly!"

"You four just won't get off my back, will you…?" sighed Komachi, "Fine… Have it your way…!" she suddenly disappeared.

"…! Look out! She's-" Reimu could not finish her warning as Komachi crossed the distance between them with a single step, her scythe swinging down upon the startled shrine maiden.

"Reimu!" Marisa charged forth on her broom in an attempt to tackle away Komachi, but Komach simply twirled out of the way parallel to the ground, the ball of her right feet coming up to land a well timed crescent kick on Marisa, knocking her off her broom up into the air.

"Marisa!" Reimu rushed to Marisa's aid, but utilizing momentum, Komachi spun up from an upside down position, her elbow catching Reimu on the chin and stunning her.

"Marisa! Reimu!" cried out Alice, "Hah…! Thousand Spear Dolls! !" the puppeteer attacked with Shanghai, Hourai and a dozen other dolls as they rapidly thrust their weapons towards Komachi.

"Not good enough!" exclaimed Komachi as she effortlessly deflected all the dolls with a spin of her scythe, kicked Reimu away for good measure, caught Marisa on the back of her weapon and flung her away with Shanghai and Hourai, before coming full circle to bear her scythe upon Alice.

"…!" Alice summoned several other dolls before her, but it would be too late…!

Clang! The scythe stopped short right next to Alice's head, and Alice looked up in shock as Patchouli was before her, grasping tightly the handle of the scythe, fighting to hold Komachi at bay... And losing.

"P-Patchouli…? Patchouli!" cried out Alice. Why…? Patchouli knows she has no way of matching Komachi like this… Why is she…? !

"I won't let you hurt Alice!" strained Patchouli, Alice's eyes widening.

"Ooh… That's not a bad effort!" Komachi paused to compliment Patchouli, even as she pressed Patchouli back with ease, "But too bad… While the four of you are pretty good at danmaku, none of you are really all that great in a real fight, huh?" stated the shinigami with a sorry grin.

"You…!" Patchouli's arms buckled as Komachi forced her scythe forwards.

"G-Get away, Patchouli!" Alice cried out.

"No!" Patchouli shouted determinedly, "I… I've yet to hear your answer!" she exclaimed, and Alice gasped in shock.

"Hey, hey… Give up, alright? You've got no chance-" Komachi taunted, but her grin was cut short as a boot went flying into her face, kicking the surprised shinigami with a painful smack!

"Get away from her!" yelled Alice from behind her extended knee-high boot.

"A-Alice…?" Patchouli looked up at her in wonder.

"Are you okay, Patchouli?" Alice glanced back concernedly.

"…! Y-Yeah, sorry for being a liability…" Patchouli quickly got to Alice's side.

"Liability…?" Alice shook her head, "Patchouli… You saved me…" she told the girl gratefully, "B-Besides… I still owe you that answer, right…?" she muttered.

"…! A-Alice…" Patchouli blushed deeply.

"Hmph… D-Don't get carried away yet! I-It may not be the answer you want to hear…" Alice mumbled, and Patchouli giggled awkwardly.

"Hey! You two alright?" called Marisa from a distance as she carried over a dazed but recovering Hourai and Shanghai.

"Ow… That was a huge kick…" Komachi herself was rousing, a boot print visible on her face. But the shinigami had no time to rest as walls of white light caged in Komachi twice, the space between the two cubes seeming to distort.

"…! The shrine maiden…" realised Komachi.

"Dream Land! 'Super Duplex Barrier!'" announced Reimu, "T'ch… That hurt, Komachi-san…! I'll have you pay for that!" Reimu rubbed her chin as she glared at the shinigami, more determined than ever to skin her hide.

"Eek! She's mad now…!" Komachi cringed.

"What are you waiting for? ! I've sealed her in! Get her!" Reimu told the others.

"Alright, ze!" Marisa charged forth on her broom, then suddenly jumped off, her right hand clutching her hakkero and her left wielding her broom underarm like a spear, "If one won't do, then how about two?" she riddled, both beloved articles gathering and concentrating glowing energy.

"Heh… It's not often I have to use this ze…" Marisa said eagerly, "Haah…! Loving Heart!" she declared, a sparkle coming to her eyes, "'Doubleee Spaaark! !'"

Two white beams of light streaked forth like comets, Marisa now floating entirely by the force of her own attack. From the beams broke off innumerable rainbow streams of danmaku, all of them hurtling towards Komachi.

"Heh… Don't think you've got me yet!" Komachi glowed with power again, "Fine… If you want to reduce my space, then I'll just make it _zero_!" she charged up her scythe, and held it overhead, "Haah…! Hell! 'Narrow Confines of Avici!'" and she gave a mighty downwards swing just as the lasers reached her, a tower of pink light emerging from where she swung. Marisa's Double Spark collided and exploded harmlessly, having reached an absolute end in space.

"Haa… Haa… What do you think of that- Huh?" Komachi's gloat was cut short as the obliterated lasers revealed, in a shower of light, two little girl figures rushing towards her, lances brandished.

"Yaah!" charged forth Hourai and Shanghai, who had ridden upon Marisa's lasers to launch a sudden attack on a vulnerable Komachi…!

Twang! Hourai and Shanghai suddenly froze midair, their limbs straining forward from the momentum painfully like ragdolls, the tips of their lances stopping just millimetres from Komachi's face.

"Haah… Made it!" sighed Komachi with relief.

"W-Wha…?" Hourai and Shanghai attempted to struggle, but could not move as they hung limp.

"Shanghai! Hourai!" shouted Alice, "Nnngh…! What have you done? !" she demanded of Komachi, but then realised that both girls were glowing an eerie pink from their chest.

"Sorry… Using the spirits of the dead to possess people like that is, I must admit, an abuse of my powers…" Komachi revealed just as the air around Alice and the others began to saturate with similarly eerie pink orbs.

"…! She's thinking of possessing us as well!" Marisa aimed her Hakkero at the wisps, but…!

"There's too many!" Patchouli gritted her teeth.

"Get down! I'll exorcise them all!" said Reimu.

"No!" Alice stopped her fearfully, "Y-You might exorcise Shanghai and Hourai too!"

"T'ch…! Then what are we going to do? !" asked Reimu.

"Guess I'll start with you two…" the four of them turned to see Komachi raise her scythe against the helpless Hourai and Shanghai, "Sorry… But continuing to fight against six people just makes no sense… Thinning your numbers should make things a little less troublesome… Don't worry, I'll only incapacitate you," she reassured them, "Though you might come seeing me sooner after this…" the shinigami shrugged.

"SHANGHAI! HOURAI!" Alice rushed towards Komachi, screaming, "PLEASE STOP! !"

"Poor Fate…" Komachi declared her execution move, "'Short Life EXPECTANCY'!" her scythe swung within a blink of an eye. Exactly one slash was applied, cutting straight across the bodies of Hourai and Shanghai, tears opening up through which their life force leaked out, before the two dolls exploded into hearts-

Eh? Hearts…?

* * *

Everyone looked up and gasped in surprise. Appearing above them, holding Hourai and Shanghai safely in her arms was Komachi, accompanied by Seiga.

"You two? !" Reimu demanded, "What are you doing here? !"

"Hi, Hi~! We followed you~" chimed Seiga.

"We came to help Hourai-chan and Shanghai-chan!" announced Koishi.

"Hey… I know you…" Komachi squinted at Seiga, "You're that wanted hermit…! Man, are you daring for showing up _here_!" she smirked, "The whole of Hell would be in an uproar if they knew!"

"Oh? Thank you for your concern," Seiga serenely returned, "But are you sure you shouldn't worry about yourself?" she smirked back.

"Huh?" Komachi followed Seiga's eyes to her own breasts- W-W-Wait! W-What's going on? !

"H-Hyah!" Komachi flew down to the ground and hurriedly clutched at her dress. It was rapidly withering away petal by rose petal. "How is this happening? !" she cried as she desperately tried to hide her not-too-concealable bosom.

"Nice job, Koishi-chan!" Seiga praised a beaming Koishi.

"Why did she suddenly stop?" asked Alice and the others, puzzled. To them, it looked as if Komachi was simply kneeling down on the ground in her very much intact dress.

"Komachi!" shouted a forgotten figure, and Komachi cringed. It was Shiki-sama…! "Komachi, that hermit is a wanted criminal! Capture her!" ordered the beaten up Enma lying by the remains of her desk.

"B-But I can't!" Komachi squirmed helplessly, firmly believing that she was now completely naked.

"Argh! Idiot Komachi! Can't you see it's an illusion? !" cried Shiki Eiki. But all of a sudden, a pale skinned, dark haired girl with a talisman on her forehead appeared before the Judge of Hell.

"…? ! A-And just who are you?" demanded Shiki Eiki.

But the pale girl paid no heed, and instead turned to Seiga with a single burning question on what was left of her mind.

"S-Seiga-sama… Is that really Jonas-sama…?" drooled Miyako Yoshika.

"Yes~!" smiled Seiga gently, "That _is_ your beloved you have been seeking, Yoshika-tan~!"

Yoshika turned to Shiki Eiki dreamily… or dead-brained, it was hard to tell.

"W-What are you doing…?" asked Shiki Eiki nervously.

"I-I have a bad feeling about this ze…" mumbled Marisa as everyone else looked on confusedly.

"Haah… Jonas-sama!" and Yoshika leapt forth and French kissed her long lost lover.

**Chapter End**


	35. Final Ch: Fireworks

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **

**Chapter 35: Fireworks**

Lights, merry making, games, music and delicious street food – The annual human village's autumn festival was once again in full swing. Just a few days ago, a rather frightening danmaku battle had taken place over its sky, and indeed the festival remained prematurely closed. However, the stalls and humans had all remained miraculously unharmed, and seeing as today was traditionally the last day, the village decided to hold the festival one last time.

"This is great ze! Why don't we get paid to party like this more often?"

Strolling down the streets were two girls, one blonde with a black and white-spotted yukata, the other brunette and wearing a red yukata with gold embroidery.

"We aren't here to party! We're here to help protect the villagers!"

"Speak for yourself, ze! I'm not the one stuffing my cheeks with taiyaki…"

"Why not? They're good _and_ free- Cough! Hack, hack, cough!"

Kirisame Marisa stopped in her tracks and turned to Hakurei Reimu with hands on hips and a smirk on her lips.

"Haha! That's what you get for being so greedy!" she laughed at Reimu.

"I dun- Hack! Wun foo hear- Ack! Coming from a fief!" Reimu choked back.

"They gave us these yukatas for free too… They really are paying a huge premium for us to be around, huh?" Marisa examined her yukata with delight, before she realised Reimu was looking at her strangely.

"W-What…?" asked Marisa.

"N-No… Nothing…" Reimu glanced away, "It's just… you look kind of nice without your hat once in a while…" she complimented. Marisa's hair can look really nice when she styles it long and straight like that…

"Ah yeah… I feel exposed without it…" Marisa felt the top of her head sheepishly, "You don't look half bad yourself!" she returned.

"Eh…? Is that all you've got to say about me…?" Reimu huffed. I put a lot of time into that hair bun too…

"Haha! Come on, ze! It's the last day of the festival!" urged Marisa, "Let's go do something!"

"A working date… haah…" grumbled Reimu, then paused when she realised she had used the word 'date' to describe the situation they were in.

The two girls glanced at each other before their gazes repelled. Crowds streamed around the two for a moment.

"I-It _is_ like a date, I guess…" admitted Reimu shyly.

"… What are you talking about, ze?" Marisa suddenly clutched onto a surprised Reimu, beaming at her, "It _is_ a date!" she yanked Reimu away with her.

"Hyah!? M-Mari-" But Reimu stopped and shut her mouth with a smile as she followed the long, dancing blonde hair before her. Yeah… It is…

"Hey Marisa…?"

"Hmmm…?"

"… Follow me! The fireworks are about to start, and I know a place with a great view!"

"Sounds great ze!"

* * *

Patchouli Knowledge waited upon a bench on a small hill at the edge of the festival, clutching nervously at her yukata, a lone string of lanterns casting a soft curtain of orange over her. Her long purple hair was meticulously combed so that it flowed silkily about her ears in an unbroken drape and came to rest at the small of her back.

Alice had said yes. She had agreed to meet her here, tonight. T-That means… she's got an answer-

Patchouli shook her head, not allowing herself to speculate further. Not… wanting to get her hopes up unnecessarily…

"_That's why… After we settle Shiki Eiki… Please let me know who you choose! Marisa or me, it doesn't matter! So long as you know that I love you!"_

Even though I said that… Patchouli was afraid. Afraid that Alice's answer might be…

"Shanghai, Hourai, wait there for me for a bit, okay?"

Patchouli looked up, and her anxieties were at once doubled yet stilled.

"Sorry Patchouli, did you wait long?"

Alice Margatroid stood before her, looking her prettiest Patchouli had ever seen. Her blonde hair was tightly tied into a neat coil, a single lock of hair left hanging over one of her brilliant peridot eyes, the end curling to tickle her chin. Delicate snow prints adorned her silken blue yukata.

"A-Ah! A-Alice!" Patchouli stood up to greet the girl, "S-Shanghai-chan and Hourai-chan are here too, I see…" she glanced at the two appropriately dressed dolls behind Alice in an attempt to disguise her eyeing of the main attraction.

"Oh? You came here to see them instead of me?" Alice calmly teased. Patchouli flustered as Hourai and Shanghai giggled.

"N-No! O-Of course not!" Resist as she might, Patchouli's eyes ended up resting upon Alice's face. N-No good…! I can't stop staring…

Behind the two, Shanghai and Hourai gave each other a glance, then discreetly excused themselves, leaving the two magicians alone. For a few moments, Patchouli stared absentmindedly at Alice, as Alice stared back amusedly.

"Am I really that pretty today?" Alice chuckled.

"Huh? Ah, yes- Hyah!? You noticed!?" Patchouli quickly averted eyes and blushed deeply, "I-I mean… Yes…" she answered truthfully.

Red tinged Alice's cheeks, "Hehe… Thanks… I did put in quite a bit of effort," she fingered her loose lock of hair, "You don't look too bad yourself," she complimented Patchouli.

"T-Thanks…!" Patchouli squeaked, still averting eyes.

Alice smiled. Patchouli can be so cute at times…

"_Alice, you may not have your answer yet… But I have mine! And it's always been you!" _

So sincere at times…

"_I won't let you hurt Alice!" "No! I… I've yet to hear your answer!"_

So determined…

"So… Are we going to just stand here all night…?" Alice asked Patchouli teasingly.

"Huh!? N-No! Of course not!" Patchouli looked up at Alice, but found her tongue tied again, "S-So… Um…"

"Patchouli… Didn't you ask me to give you an answer before?" Alice stated simply.

"… Yes…" Patchouli hardly dared breathe.

"You… don't want to hear it…?" asked Alice-

"No! I-I want to hear it… No…" Patchouli stopped and shook her head, "That's not how it should go…" Patchouli took a deep breath and bowed, "Alice! I love you!" she confessed formally for a third time, "Please go out with me!"

"… Patchouli…?" came Alice's uncertain voice. Anxiety spiked in Patchouli.

"Yes…?" Patchouli stood back up and the two girls locked eyes for awhile.

Alice was the first to break contact, "I… How do I put it…?"

Patchouli read the word off Alice's lips before she even said it. Her heart froze.

'Sorry'

"S-Sorry…" apologised Alice, her composure shed, "I-I still have no answer…" she mumbled.

The first thing Patchouli did was smile.

"I-I see… Haha… I sort of expected that…" Patchouli looked away, muttering, "I mean… It was such a sudden and selfish request of me-"

"That's why!" Patchouli looked back at Alice in surprise. Alice was staring at her sincerely, her hands clutched to her chest.

"That's why… I would like Patchouli to help me find it…" she nervously uttered. Patchouli's eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat.

"To be honest, I'm still wondering even now… What if I had chosen differently… chosen someone else…" Alice explained, "I-I think I'm reluctant to choose because I keep thinking of what might have been but… Patchouli's feelings… t-they somehow resounded with me so much, so…! So… Patchouli… I…" Alice gasped as a light, soft figure hurled itself around her in an embrace, long purple hair momentarily obscuring the view of the stars before quietly settling around Alice's hands which had reflexively returned the embrace.

"Thank you, Alice…" whispered Patchouli gratefully into her ear.

"N-No…! T-Thank you, Patchouli…" Alice closed her eyes and smiled. Patchouli's heart… it was so loud against her chest… Or was it her own…? Alice's hands tightened about Patchouli's back, who squeezed back in response. Stepping back from each other, the two took a moment to gaze at each other before breaking into a giggle-

"Wow… They really look like a couple, don't they…?"

A dry voice broke the night. Alice and Patchouli involuntarily clutched onto each other again, their muscles frozen in embarrassment.

"R-Reimu! Sorry, Alice, Patchy! We didn't mean to eavesdrop on you two! It was all Reimu's fault!"

Alice and Patchouli rigidly turned, only to be greeted by the sight of a sternly standing Reimu, her arms crossed over a puffed chest, Marisa cringing like a useless dog behind her.

"R-Reimu!?" freaked out both Alice and Patchouli, "M-Marisa even… How long have you two been there!?" they gingerly asked.

Reimu's proud, stern expression gave way to a good-natured smirk, "Hmph… Right from the start!"

Alice and Patchouli's jaw dropped, their faces completely scarlet. Marisa was blushing a good deal herself, her palm glued to her face.

Reimu's smirk became a playful sneer, "Heh… You have _this_ miko's blessing."

"Hey!" snapped Patchouli and Alice at Marisa, "Isn't _this_ miko _your_ responsibility!? Why aren't you doing anything about her!?"

"She can't!" Reimu's boasted.

"I-I can't…" deferred Marisa pleadingly.

"Grr…" shook Alice and Patchouli, "MARISAAA! !" they shouted.

"Ehehe… Sorry, sorry…" wept Marisa.

* * *

**Credits Roll**

**Shanghai, Hourai**

"Ahh… Looks like you've won, Hourai-nee-chan…" grumbled Shanghai as she and her sister kept watch over their beloved Alice-sama. Alice and Patchouli were at Alice's doorway, padding up for a winter afternoon trip to purchase magical supplies. "Alice-sama went for Patchouli-sama in the end…"

"Mmm…!" nodded Hourai, satisfied, "Now I can rest well knowing that Alice-sama is in capable hands…"

"What's with that 'elderly' manner of talk, Hourai-nee-chan…?" Shanghai deadpanned at Hourai, "Still… At least Alice-sama has decided on her soul mate… Now we tackle the second problem!" she announced.

"Righ- Eh? S-Second problem?" Hourai glanced at Shanghai, a bad feeling creeping in.

"Silly Hourai-nee-chan!" chided Shanghai, "Offspring, offspring! After marriage comes Alice-sama's children-"

"A-Are you still working towards that goal!?" exclaimed a shocked Hourai.

"… We can totally hear you two…" mumbled an awkward Patchouli and a crossed Alice.

**Remilia Scarlet, Izayoi Sakuya, Koakuma, Flandre Scarlet, Hong Meiling**

"Haah… Sakuya!" complained Remilia as she and Flandre lounged in one of Scarlet Devil Mansion's many sitting rooms, "It's been a month and Patchouli still refuses to let me into the library! She's got my manga held hostage in there!"

"I imagine she must still be incredibly upset about your involvement with Shiki Eiki, Remilia-ojou-sama…" said Sakuya as she poured her mistresses their midnight tea while Remilia kept up her groaning.

"Remilia-ojou-sama?" the door to the room was nudged open, and in came Meiling and Koakuma bearing stacks of said manga in their arms. "P-Patchouli-sama thought you might want these," Koakuma informed Remilia.

"Haah…! Patchy!" cheered Remilia, "I knew you were still my friend-"

"M-My sincerest apologies, but she also says that there is now no reason for Remilia-ojou-sama to enter the library…" continued Koakuma meekly, and Remilia slumped forwards, dejected.

"Then Onee-sama, I'll help myself to them in your stead!" chimed Flandre as she grabbed the mangas from Meiling, and as an afterthought grabbed Meiling too. "Read them with me, Meiling!" she insisted.

"O-Okay, okay!" smiled Meiling. Remilia groaned while everyone else giggled.

**Yakumo Yukari, Yakumo Ran**

"Zzz… zzz…"

Ran peeped into her master's room to check on her as Yukari slept heavily in her futon. It was winter now, and Yukari was hibernating as usual, her face bearing a pleased smile.

"…? I wonder what's gotten Yukari-sama so happy…?" Ran thought as she closed the door to Yukari's room. Just then, a knock came from the main door.

"A visitor?" Ran headed over, puzzled. Opening it revealed a snow covered yet furious looking Reimu.

"Hmm…? Reimu-chan?" greeted Ran calmly, "What brings you-"

"I've heard rumours!" steamed Reimu, "Is it true that… huff… that Yukari's match-made every one of my ancestors, including my mother!?"

Ran blinked a few times. "Well, Yukari-sama is hibernating right now, but I'm sure she'll be happy to answer any questions you've got," the fox shikigami showed in the angry shrine maiden.

"Thank you… Ran…" seethed Reimu, spell card already out.

Ahaha… It was just a matter of time, Yukari-sama… thought Ran, even as Yukari kept smiling in her sleep, dreaming about attending the wedding of her favourite shrine maiden.

**Saigyouji Yuyuko, Konpaku Youmu**

"Youmu, more tea please," called Saigyouji Yuyuko as she sat snugly beneath a kotatsu in one of the many tea rooms of Hakugyokurou.

"Coming," answered Konpaku Youmu as she brought in more tea.

"Thank you, Youmu… Ah! Why don't you join me for the rest of the day?" offered Yuyuko.

"Eh? But the chores-" Youmu was silenced as Yuyuko put a finger on her lip.

"Forget them for now… It's winter anyway, so there's not much to do, is there?" urged Yuyuko with a smile.

"Haah… Can't be helped…" Youmu sighed and joined her master.

**Reisen Udongein Inaba, Inaba Tewi**

"Mmm…! Smells good!" said Tewi as she and Reisen watched little rectangles of mochi grill over a stove in a pantry in Eintei.

"Don't you eat them, Tewi! They're for Kaguya-hime-sama!" warned Reisen, "I- Hmmphff!?"

"Haha! Now I'll just have to report to Kaguya-hime-sama about your uncontrollable gluttony!" chortled Tewi right after forcing a piece of mochi down Reisen's throat. Reisen glared at Tewi and began chasing her around the stove.

"Grrr! Come back here you!" Reisen threatened amidst Tewi's laughter.

**Ibuki Suika, Houshiguma Yuugi, Mizuhashi Parsee, Shameimaru Aya, Himekaidou Hatate**

"H'tchaaaa…! This is the best!" Yuugi raised her emptied sake dish to the heavens after downing it all in one go for the thousandth time.

"… So?" complained Parsee, "Why hold a party on _my_ _bridge_? What's more, we're obstructing passage…"

"Relax Parsee, it's not like anyone uses this bridge during this time of the year…" grinned Yuugi, "It's got a good view too, and I figured you'd gotten lonely-"

"I-I'm not lonely!" snapped Parsee, blushing.

"Still, if doing errands for Yuugi-sama gets us treated to such good sake each time, I wouldn't mind doing a couple more," laughed Aya.

"Y-You sure she's going to be alright…? Suika-sama, that is…" sweat-dropped Hatate as she eyed Suika's sake-bloated corpse next to her.

"Ah, just leave her," was everybody's straight reply.

"I-Is that right…?" There has got to be limits to this sort of binge drinking though… thought Hatate uneasily.

"BURPPP! Don't -hic- underestimate me… I CAN STILL DRINK MOAR! !" Suika suddenly sat up, eyes fiery.

"YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!?" exclaimed her companions.

**Kazami Yuuka, Medicine Melancholy**

"… Where are we going?" Medicine asked as Yuuka led her by the hand down a wood path.

"Just a walk…" Yuuka closed her eyes and breathed in a lungful of cold, refreshing air, "Since it's winter and there's nothing to look after in the fields, I thought a change of scenery might be good…"

"… Sounds boring, but not unpleasant," was Medicine's simple reply.

"Mmm…?" Yuuka slowed. Coming the opposite way was Alice and Patchouli.

"A-Alice…!?" Yuuka's halted, unsure of what to do. H-how should I react…? How will _she_ react-

"Oh? Hello Yuuka-san," greeted Alice cordially.

"A-Ah…" Yuuka remained stunned for awhile, before sighing at her silliness, "Hello Alice-san," she reciprocated, unable to hold back a warm smile, "Hello Patchouli-san. You two going somewhere in this weather?"

"No, we were just returning from a trip, actually…" explained Alice, and a short, passing chat took place.

**Futatsuiwa Mamizou, Houjuu Nue**

"Hmm… You've matured quite a bit, Nue," remarked Mamizou as she and Nue drank tea at her home.

"Huh!? W-Where's this coming from…?" Nue blushed and looked away.

"The way you sit… The way you hold your tea… The way you drink it…" observed Mamizou, "It's like you're suddenly feminine…" explained her friend, "Are you… doing it for someone…?" she teased.

"N-No I'm not!" Nue denied vehemently, her cheeks flushing red, "A-And what do you mean by 'suddenly feminine'!?"

"Ahaha… Sorry, sorry…" Mamizou stopped her line of inquiry and sipped her tea in silence.

"Hmph…!" Nue gazed into her tea cup and smiled, wondering when she would get to play with a certain magician again…

**Shiki Eiki Yamaxanadu, Onozuka Komachi**

"Maybe I did need a vacation after all…" Shiki Eiki remarked as she packed her suitcase in her room, Komachi there to help her out, "I'm… actually looking forward to it…" the child-sized Enma admitted sheepishly.

"Yes, yes! So am I- Ow!" Komachi's celebration was cut short by a smack from Shiki Eiki.

"You're only looking forward to it so that you can slack some more!" scolded Shiki Eiki, "Listen up! Your coming only as my assistant, got it?"

"Yes, yes…" Komachi sighed, "Well, at least you can get away from all those troublesome souls for a bit… Go somewhere nice and make pleasant memories…"

"Guh…!" Shiki Eiki clapped a hand to her mouth, as if she was going to be sick.

"… Ahaha," chuckled Komachi, "You still haven't forgotten that kiss that Jiang Shi gave you, huh-"

"S-Shut up!" Shiki Eiki teared up as Komachi laughed, "I-It was horrible…!"

"Still… Letting that wicked hermit as well as everyone go after they intruded upon Hell… You sure you won't regret this, Shiki-sama?" Komachi asked.

"… O-Officially, such an incident n-never happened!" declared Shiki Eiki, "Besides… it seems I need to reflect on my own actions…" she acknowledged, "Although the next time I see that blasted Kaku Seiga, I'll be sure to use all my resources to capture her!" the Enma fired up.

"Yes, yes… I'm sure you will, Shiki-sama…" sighed Komachi, "What a pain…"

* * *

**And last but not least… **

Sudden flashes of colourful light and loud bangs distracted the four girls from their squabbles, and they turned towards the sky where a tremendous display of colourful shapes bloomed, spun and whizzed noisily across the night sky over, the festival sprawled out beneath – A warm, orange glow from the earth, and a rainbow of galaxies in the heavens.

**Alice Margatroid**

"Wow… They're really going all out with the fireworks this year…" Alice clapped her hands together in amazement.

**Kirisame Marisa**

"Oh damn, I wish I could set off a few myself, ze!" mouth-watered Marisa.

**Hakurei Reimu**

"It must be because the festival was closed for a few days… They're using everything they've got tonight," remarked Reimu.

**And Patchouli Knowledge**

Alice turned to Patchouli next to her, who had stayed completely silent, eyes wide with wonder.

"What's wrong, Patchouli…?" Alice asked gently, and Patchouli turned to her with a start.

"N-Nothing! I-It's just… the fireworks are a little late… was what I was thinking…" she muttered, blushing.

"…? Ah…!" Alice smiled and grabbed Patchouli's hand in her own, startling her fellow magician again, "Because your wish was already granted?" she grinned.

Patchouli's face flushed a deeper red, and she silently squeezed back Alice's hand. Turning to the fireworks, she quietly said, "I would love to have more moments like this with you…"

"… So do I…" Alice said replied, watching the fireworks with Patchouli.

**Story End**

* * *

"… I wonder if they'll start kissing right in front of us next…" audibly whispered Reimu to Marisa. Patchouli and Alice startled, blushing deeply.

"That'll be nice, won't it, ze?" Marisa put her hands behind her head with a grin.

"K-Kuh…! Shut up, you two!" exclaimed Alice and Patchouli to the mixed sounds of fireworks and laughter.


	36. Epilogue

**Kaku Seiga, Komeiji Koishi, Komeiji Satori**

"… Oh, you again…" purple eyes narrowed suspiciously through a narrow gap between the large, heavy wooden doors. They were not unlike those of a dungeon's, thought the Kaku Seiga, considering they were attached to a large, western mansion of masonry deep underground in Old Hell.

"Ahh~ What's with that unfriendly tone, Satori-san~?" Seiga greeted the petite, purple haired master of the manor with a smile. Komeiji Satori opened the door reluctantly, allowing Seiga to enter the dim and expectantly gloomy stone halls, large pillars soaring up into the darkness, their buttresses just visible by torch holding up the vast ceiling.

"… I don't like it…" answered Satori honestly, "I can read your mind, but your thoughts are surprisingly clean if slightly tasteless, like a well organised chest of drawers… Yes… too clean…" a free bodied, third red eye connected to Satori by veins and resting on her chest turned to eye Seiga, "Pleasant clothes displayed on the top and naughtier ones hidden beneath…" she commented as she and Seiga walked side by side down one of many corridors towards one of many rooms.

"I'll take that as a compliment of my powers as a hermit," Seiga smiled.

The two eventually arrived at a door, and Seiga made to enter it, but Satori stopped her.

"I'm warning you… I don't intend to meddle in the sort of friends my little sister makes…" said Satori with just a hint of strong dislike leaking, "But don't you dare lead her astray…" her expressionless gaze upon Seiga gave the unmistakable feeling of a glare.

"And what makes you think I'm the one leading, Nee-chan~?" teased Seiga, and this time Satori really glared. Still, she opened the door for her guest, and showed her in into a smaller, warmer sitting room furnished with plush armchairs, shelves of books and other amenities.

"Koishi…?" called out Satori, "Your friend is here…" The table was laid with tea for two, but there was no one there.

"Satori-onee-sama~!" the older satori was surprised by the sudden hugging of her younger sister from behind.

"K-Koishi? ! When were you-" Satori struggled with Koishi's snuggling, while Seiga greeted Koishi with a smile.

"Hee! You made it, Seiga-onee-chan!" Koishi greeted her playmate for today, "And Satori-onee-sama… You were saying bad things about Seiga-onee-chan again…" she pouted.

"That's because I don't like her," answered Satori honestly, and Koishi pouted further.

"Ahaha… Your sister is simply worried about you," Seiga said to Koishi, before giving Satori a pleasant smile.

"… Hmph… Well, as long as you and Koishi simply sit here where I can keep an eye over you two…" Satori left the room, closing the door after her and leaving the two alone.

"S-Satori-onee-sama…! Haah… Sorry, Seiga-onee-chan…" Koishi apologised as they sat themselves at the table, "It seems Satori-onee-sama still doesn't trust you after all this time… And we've been friends for half a year now…" she sighed.

"I don't mind at all though," Seiga sincerely said, "It's never been dull around you… I think I've had the most fun in my life last month!" she grinned, Koishi beaming in response, "I mean, who knew you could get _the_ Enma of Gensokyo herself to act based on suggestion alone, through her subordinate no less?"

"Ahaha… It wasn't so great of me!" Koishi scratched her head embarrassedly, "It was just a simple trick… Seiga-onee-chan was the one who thought up everything! I'm surprised you understood so much about Shiki-sama!" Koishi praised back, "Seiga-onee-chan never ceases to amaze me with how much she knows…" she fiddled her fingers together, "Although… I've troubled you again, haven't I…?" her gaze lowered behind her fringe, "It was me that wanted to see a love-related incident in Gensokyo after all… We even ended up going to Hell this time… You could have been caught…" she muttered, downcast.

"A-Ah! I'm fine, Koishi-chan!" Seiga hurriedly insisted, "Didn't I just say I had the most fun ever? All you wanted to do was to protect your new friends!" she reminded Koishi.

"I guess you're right…" Koishi cheered up as she recalled fondly Hourai and Shanghai, "I would really like to go see them again…"

"Heh… 'Hourai and Shanghai'… Really, those two girls really threw our plans off," Seiga smiled wryly, "'Living dolls'… Who would have expected that? We even ended up helping them end our own plot because of it… Though I can't say that wasn't fun in its own way…" she nodded as she sipped her tea, "Must be fate… Or maybe just some annoying vampire…" Seiga chuckled, "Really… even that Remilia Scarlet managed to barge in on it cluelessly…"

"Yes… It was fun being the good guys, wasn't it Seiga-onee-chan?" beamed Koishi, "Ah! I know! Instead of creating incidents, let's solve them next time!"

"Hehh…? Solve them?" asked Seiga, "You mean, the two us become incident resolvers like Reimu-san and Marisa-san?"

"Yes! We could even invite Shanghai-chan and Hourai-chan to be part of our team!" Koishi sparkled, "The four Roses of Gensokyo. I can be 'Rose Lovely'! Shanghai-chan can be 'Rose Sunny'! Hourai-chan 'Rose Passion'! And Seiga-onee-chan…" Koishi eyed Seiga's dress for a moment with difficulty, "'R-Rose Mature'…?" she tentatively suggested.

Seiga smiled awkwardly, "Ahaha… But… you're a youkai and I'm a hermit… For the two of us to be resolving incidents in Gensokyo… It's odd, isn't it?" she said.

"That's even better then!" Koishi clapped her hands together enthusiastically, "We'll be undercover incident resolvers! Everyone thinks we're the bad guys, but really we're the good guys pretending to be the bad guys so that we can get closer to the criminal scumbags!" she punched the air.

"'C-Criminal scumbags'you say… That's a little harsh…" Seiga chuckled uneasily. W-Why does that sound like you're talking about…?

"But it's interesting, isn't it?" said Koishi dreamily.

"Haah… I have to admit, it's quite the novel idea…" Seiga rubbed her chin, "Although… Gensokyo is all peaceful now… So unless someone stirs up an incident like us, there won't be any to solve…" she pointed out.

A moment of thought followed before Koishi had a stroke of inspiration.

"I got it!" she cheerily announced, "If there are no incidents to resolve… then we'll just have to create one!" she suggested.

"… T-That's the opposite, isn't it? Like pretending to be the good guys when we're actually the bad guys…?" Seiga sweat-dropped, "But wait a minute… I like that notion…" she pondered, a mischievous smile coming to her face.

"I know, right?" beamed Koishi, "Shall we do it?"

"Hmm… Give me a moment, Koishi-chan! Let's see if Seiga-onee-chan can come up with something!" Seiga grinned, and Koishi cheered.

Outside the room, Satori leaned off the door where she had been eavesdropping the whole time.

"… Isn't that what you two have been doing this whole story, idiot Koishi…" she sighed, "Well, what happens on the surface doesn't matter to me… As long as it's nothing earth-shattering…" Satori said to herself, retreating back to her own room, "I don't suppose we'll have another troublesome conference to attend, will we…?"

**Epilogue End**

* * *

"Jonas-sama? Seiga-sama?" cried out Miyako Yoshika as she wandered the frozen winter paths aimlessly, having once again somehow broken out of her master's residence, "Where are you? Where did everyone go…?"

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners. **


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